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It’s like she’s daring us now.
All the crazy “Pot Ledom” stuff. Tookie. The branding words. The insane challenges. The “All-Stars” disqualification of Angelea Preston with no explanation. The failure to give any kind of award — even for Most Patient Model To Sit Through This Crap — to Allison Harvard.
All of it. It’s like Tyra Banks is daring us to keep watching “America’s Next Top Model.”
Last week on Cycle 18, “British Invasion” — which, yes, I am still watching — they dumped one of the frontrunners, AzMarie, for refusing to wear a (sigh) “booty tooch pad” in Tyra’s tooch class. That’s where we are now.
But all of that, somehow, I can stand. I’ll shake my head, but I can stand it. But I wake up today and — lo and behold — my three favorite people on the show have just been fired: sexy noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, the fabulous runway diva coach extraordinaire Miss J. Alexander, and the on-shoot style director/therapist, Ice Man Jay Manuel.
I can’t see the end game with this.
Are they seriously thinking this will help ratings — because ratings are down because of Nigel and the Jays? Ratings are not down because of Nigel and the Jays. We all know ratings are down because:
1. Lisa won “All-Stars” instead of Allison.
2. There’s been no explanation about Angelea.
3. The show has just gotten too bizarre and too much about Tyra’s own ego as opposed to finding raw new talent and supporting it.
Kelly Cutrone was added to the judges’ table this cycle and so far it sounds like she’s still going to be around. She gets to stay, the guys have to go. Unbelievable. I really think they must want the show to end so they’re going to go out of their way to kill it.
If you are still curious/sad/determined enough to still want to keep up with ANTM news, be sure to check out Wetpaint.com/americas-next-top-model for all kinds of daily updates, polls and my recaps. I want Sophie to win this cycle, and not just because she’s best friends with Hermione Granger. It won’t change everything that’s happened but Sophie winning would end the men’s reign on a high-ish note.
*May 6 update* read about Pete’s latest problems in my Episode 8 recap.
I love the irony of “Ode to Joy” playing through the credits of “Mad Men” Season 5 Episode 5, “Signal 30.” Pete Campbell was feeling the opposite of joy, despite playing Beethoven’s 9th symphony at his dinner party.
Pete is sad. Pathetic. But I feel sorry for him. I’ve always had complicated feelings about Pete, but after he took advantage of that German au pair (should we call it rape?) I thought he crossed the line so far that I couldn’t do anything but hate him. I also hated the writers for doing that to Pete since I was enjoying the back-and-forth of disliking him one week and empathizing with him the next. I never wanted him to become a “villain.” He’s too complicated for that.
This season, Pete is living in the suburbs and dealing with the usual suburban ennui. His wife Trudy is in her element — showing power and strength where Pete has none — but Pete is just frustrated. He slept with a prostitute as part of “work” for a Jaguar client but it barely feels like cheating because it was all about placating his sad little ego, which was bruised after he was rejected by a teenage girl who thought she had gotten drunk on vanilla extract. (Talk about sad!)
There were so many great quotes on Episode 5, most having to do with Pete and Lane, two uncool guys dealing with their lack of manly virility in different ways.
Here’s one of my favorites:
Lane [to Pete]: “I can’t believe the hours I have put into helping you become the monster you’ve become.”
And here’s a great exchange between Don and Pete:
Pete: “I have it all. Wait till your honeymoon’s over.”
Don: “Look, I’m just tying to tell you — because I am who I am and I’ve been who I’ve been — that you don’t get another chance at what you have.”
Pete: “Brave words for a man on his second time ’round.”
Don: “Yeah, and if I met her first I would’ve known not to throw it away.”
Maybe two months ago, someone asked me if Reid Rosenthal and Kristen Dalton had broken up. I didn’t think so, but I didn’t know. Now I know. Or at least I know now what Reid tweeted last month — that he and Kristen are dunzo.
Apparently I’ve been way out of the Reid loop, but it does explain why he would’ve been at that “Bachelor” reunion to begin with. Will he be on “Bachelor Pad” Season 3? Reid also tweeted a link to “Bachelor” honcho Mike Fleiss’ tweet asking who should be the next Bachelor. Is Reid throwing his hat in the ring or just supporting Bachelor Nation?
Do you think Reid should be the Season 17 Bachelor or should they go with Michael Stagliano of “Bachelor Pad” Season 2, Roberto Martinez of “The Bachelorette” Season 6, one of Emily Maynard’s rejects from “The Bachelorette” Season 8 … or someone new? They won’t go with someone new, unless it’s some new guy they cast on BP3, but if enough people push for it maybe it’ll change their minds?
It’s been a while since I added something to my Things That Are Obvious file, but now is the time.
Most of the men and women of “Survivor: One World” have been a series of cringe-worthy stereotypes. But at this point a few decent frontrunners are emerging — and others are eating wood and accusing tribe-mates of “subliminally harassing” them because of a bias against plastic surgeons. (Tarzan, you are officially the Phillip Sheppard of this season. Enjoy the crispy rice.)
It’s pretty obvious that the one player who has been strong the whole season — not just in the halcyon post-Colton weeks — is Kim Spradlin. She’s smart. She’s sly. She seems trustworthy but she’s not afraid to lie. She’s good at damage control. She had no real enemies up to tonight’s “Just Annihilate Them” blindside, whereas her #1 ally, Chelsea Meissner, is currently feuding with Tarzan (and his “rantics”). Chelsea also potentially blew the women’s alliance by asking Jay Byars if he’d like to vote out his own buddy, Mike — and she asked it in front of two people who were not supposed to be in their alliance. Those two people were women, showing Jay that a women’s alliance existed, as opposed to the tight Salani alliance he was counting on. Oops. Even the mild-mannered Kim called her friend’s move “asinine.”
Here’s why I love Kim: She diffused that bomb masterfully. Smartly nervous Jay was about to tell Mike that his name came up, but Kim cut him right off and volunteered Christina as the one to go next. They wanted a woman to go home. She knew it. They bought it. Mike went home instead. (One thing that confuses me: It looks like Jay DID vote for Mike in the end. How did that conversation play out?)
Now the women have the majority. And it’s Kim’s doing. (Although, if you look at the votes, both Alicia and Christina voted for Tarzan to leave, not Mike. So is there really a women’s alliance or just a *selective* alliance led by three women?)
So here’s what I’m thinking — Kim made a huge, smart move but it was based on lies and deception, so will she be rewarded for that if she makes it to the end or will the men bash her in final tribal? She convinced Troyzan that Mike had it in for him — ’cause Troy just doesn’t like Mike for some reason — but the truth will eventually come out.
Big power players rarely get rewarded as often as whoever sits next to them. So will Chelsea or Sabrina — Kim’s main allies — end up winning over her? Will Jay convince Kat — who is as thick as the wood Tarzan was eating — to leave the women’s alliance and target Kim? Or will Kim continue to be brilliant, use her hidden idol wisely and stay smart and charming enough to win that million dollars as the queen bee and next Parvati Shallow?
Even before the season started I picked Kim as the most likely to win. Usually my winner predictions are wrong, but that person usually ends up being the Player of the Season. (I picked Russell Hantz before “Samoa” started and Jane Bright before “Nicaragua.”)
So, whatever else happens, Kim will hopefully win at least one title this season.