Please please please please make this happen. Vote in the Wetpaint poll (link below) to vote for Michelle as the next "Bachelorette." Can you imagine having an interesting person in the hot seat, for once?

Oh this made my day.

Reality Steve just wrote that Emily “Soporific Southern Barbie” Maynard will not be the next “Bachelorette.”

*** UPDATE ***

It’s only the day after the Emily news, but Steve just announced the new Bachelorette will be Ashley Hebert, pronounced Ay-bear, ’cause it’s all French-like. Si! I’m not happy with this choice. My choices are below. Sad face. Actually, more like resigned face. As long as they cast her well, it should be OK. “The Bachelorette” is all about the men. Find me some Robertos and Reids, ABC!

*** UPDATE PART 2 ***

Is Emily not the Bachelorette because Brad actually picked her in the end? FORT says Steve got it wrong (again) and Brad is engaged to Emily, not Chantal. True or false? We’ll find out soon!

*** END UPDATE ***

Did she turn down the show? (Likely.) Did they decide they didn’t want her? (Less likely.) Will they skip “The Bachelorette” and go straight into another season of “The Bachelor” or “Bachelor Pad” or “Something Else Entirely”? Hell if I know.

All I know is, I’m so happy when I get my way. I didn’t want Chris Lambton as “The Bachelor” and, more to the point, neither did he. He didn’t appreciate his saccharine edit and he found his own Southern Barbie in Peyton Wright.

I was happy to have Brad Womack as the Season 15 “Bachelor,” although I’m disappointed in how he’s handling this second chance. I don’t give a rat’s ass if he contacted Laurel Kagay before, during or after the show. I care that he’s boring. I care that he can’t get through a sentence without awkward stammering and unnecessary things like “Can I say this?” or “Can we be honest here?” I care that he’s completely owned by the emotional basket-cases around him. I care that he says he doesn’t want an emotional roller coaster, then buys a lifetime ticket for exactly that. And that’s without even getting into his on-air therapy sessions.

I’ve already written my case for Michelle Money to be the next “Bachelorette.” Please God, let someone from ABC see the value in the idea.

If women can put up with The Most Hated Bachelor Ever (now strongly in the running for The Most Boring Bachelor Ever) and let ratings do OK, they should be able to put up with The Most Controversial Bachelorette Ever and give her a chance to show the sides that ABC didn’t show on “The Bachelor.”

Because if Chris Lambton didn’t like how “nice” he was portrayed on the show, it’s fair to think they are going the same thing to people like Michelle Money. She said as much in her media interview and fans may not believe her, but only because they’re buying what ABC is selling. They sold Chris and Emily as the heroes and Michelle as the villain. Michelle is an actress, but I was on that media call with her and she proved she can be sane and reasonable and sweet for at least an hour and a half, which is more than I can say for some people.

Michelle is a single mom, just like Emily. She’s made mistakes in life, just like Emily. She’s gorgeous and very camera-ready, just like Emily. She just happens to be more interesting than Emily. A lot more interesting.

Michelle said she would only do the show if her daughter’s schedule would allow for it, or something. I don’t know how it would work, but my hopes are up now. Not that it’s likely to happen.

I appreciate you, Shawntel. You were a lovely dose of Dramamine on a season of emotional roller coasters.

The producers are more likely to cast cuties like the Ashleys, Hebert or Spivey. I would prefer Shawntel Newton, but look what they did to her — yes, she works as a funeral director, but Ashley Hebert works as a dentist and Ash didn’t get the creepy “Is it safe?” date. Why not? Are they grooming her for “more”?

That funeral director edit may have put the literal nail in Shawntel’s “Bachelorette” coffin because it just put a bad taste in viewers’ mouths. Besides, her freaking dad brought out the violins over the idea of Shawntel ever leaving Chico or the family business. She’s stuck, poor lass. (Run for your life, kid!)

If you’re into the idea of Michelle as the next “Bachelorette,” PLEASE vote in this Wetpaint poll. It may actually help her. You can vote several times, which is how Vienna got so many votes. (Is she voting over and over herself, or maybe her family members)

Prefer Shawntel? You can vote for her here. (Or you can vote for Michelle again.)

Visit Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor for a crapload of “Bachelor” stories. Do the same for “The Bachelorette” at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette.

And catch up on my “Bachelor/ette/Pad” articles in this nifty blog archive.

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