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This is from the Survivor 10 Year anniversary party in January. Rupert has no other clothes.

By Gina Carbone

Back-to-back Tribal Councils next week? That’s my kind of party! Another hidden immunity idol? Not my party.

This is officially overkill now. Enough with the hidden idols. It’s one big Easter Egg hunt and it’s affecting the game in a bad way. I can’t think of any sports analogies, since I don’t follow sports, but I’m sure my grandfather would be able to quote some baseball thing that has ruined the game at some point since the 1930s. So think of that and apply it to the hidden idols.

I like Rupert more than Russell, but at least Russell doesn't do these lame fake character poses. He also never takes his hat off. Unless he's arrested and poses for a mug shot.

It’s just one more way the producers are showing favoritism to Russell Hantz since he is the self-declared “king” of hidden immunity idols. He’s also a twat.

Here is the latest CBS press release on “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.” Why can’t this show be on every night, like late night talk shows or “The Golden Girls” re-runs?



“A Sinking Ship” – Sensing that he is in danger, a hero makes a bold move to save himself by fooling the entire tribe.  Meanwhile, a vicious power struggle emerges in one alliance and two of the strongest villains find themselves pitted against one another, on SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS, Thursday, May 6 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.


Catch up on “Survivor” recaps here in my nifty archive.

Spoilers: Want to jump ahead and find out who is eliminated next? How about the whole boot list, including this season’s winner? Read that here.

There are details on upcoming episodes in this press release, but no spoilers.

This is one big honkin’ press release. It doesn’t include any new “Bachelorette” details or anything, but if you like ABC shows it’s worth a scroll.



The ABC Television Network announces highlights of its upcoming May sweeps programming, with finales of some of television’s biggest hits, including the groundbreaking series finale of “Lost” and the season premiere of “The Bachelorette.”

FLASHFORWARD — “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” – Janis continues to thwart her fellow FBI agents as an inside mole to a mysterious employer; Olivia is given some disturbing news by Gabriel (James Callis, Gaius Baltar on “Battlestar Galactica”), who has been subjected to numerous flashforwards; and Aaron’s life is in danger in Afghanistan when he tries to blend in with the locals as he continues his search for his daughter, on “FlashForward,” THURSDAY, APRIL 29 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

GREY’S ANATOMY — “Hook, Line and Sinner” – Sloan returns to Mark’s apartment, just as she’s going into labor, and Teddy, Mark and the still-fighting Callie and Arizona are there to help with the birth and to get Mark through his grandson’s pending adoption. Meanwhile Teddy sees Derek’s invitation to illustrious cardiothoracic surgeon Tom Evans’ as a threat to her future employment at the hospital, and the team work on a crab boat captain who has been stabbed with a giant shark hook, on “Grey’s Anatomy,” THURSDAY, APRIL 29 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET).

PRIVATE PRACTICE — “War” – After Violet files for joint custody of Lucas, an embittered Pete voraciously fights back by hiring a tough attorney for the trial, forcing their fellow friends and co-workers to choose sides and have their personal lives dragged onto the stand and into the public eye, on “Private Practice,” THURSDAY, APRIL 29 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET). Guest stars include Caterina Scorsone as Amelia Shepherd and Frances Fisher as Ruby Broome.

WIFE SWAP — “Schroeder/Wardle” – An artistic Goth family that encourages the kids to talk to the dead swaps with a family of hockey fanatics that doesn’t hesitate to call kids losers when they play badly, on “Wife Swap,” FRIDAY, APRIL 30 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Each week two very contradictory families from across the country participate in a two-week-long challenge: The wives exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover daily life in another woman’s shoes. This astonishing experiment repeatedly changes lives and redefines families.

WIFE SWAP — “Adams/Hess” – A reptile and animal-obsessed family with no rules or fashion sense swap with a strict family who can’t stand animals and say that “fashion is more important than air,” on “Wife Swap,” FRIDAY, APRIL 30 (9:00-10:00 p.m., ET). Each week two very contradictory families from across the country participate in a two-week-long challenge: The wives exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover daily life in another woman’s shoes. This astonishing experiment repeatedly changes lives and redefines families.

AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS – “Episode 2022” — This season’s three $100,000 prize winners compete for the Grand Prize, on “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” SUNDAY, MAY 2 (7:00-8:00 p.m., ET). The final three videos: “Laser Chasers,” a Great Dane and a toddler are equally obsessed with a laser pointer; “Boogie Baby,” a baby rocks out with a musical doll; and “The Great Escape,” Junior the Chihuahua leads an escape from the utility room. The episode features footage shot at the Walt Disney World® Resort in Florida, at Epcot® and the Magic Kingdom® Park. Tom Bergeron is host.

EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION — “Carr family” – “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” travels to rural Mineola, TX, to meet Katrina and Mike Carr and their four adopted children (who are from Kazakhstan and were abandoned at birth), an inspiring family who strive every day to overcome severe physical challenges while living in a cramped and dangerous home. This is a Texas-sized opportunity to give back to a family who have become models of spirit and resilience. Comedian, actor, producer and author Bill Engvall is the “Get on the Bus” volunteer, while Bethany Hamilton, a surfer famous for losing her arm in a shark attack, spends time with the Carrs on their vacation, on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” SUNDAY, MAY 2 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES — “A Little Night Music” – Angie comes face to face with her ex, Patrick Logan (John Barrowman), after years on the run, SUNDAY, MAY 2 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET) on “Desperate Housewives.” Meanwhile, Gaby and Susan plan an elaborate scheme against their husbands, Lynette sees a darker side of Eddie, and Bree meets a woman who knows Sam all too well.

BROTHERS & SISTERS – “Love All” – The Walkers seem to all be going through an adjustment period: Cooper acts out against Sarah as Luc becomes a member of the family, Justin has trouble finding the same passion for medicine he had while serving in Iraq, and Kevin struggles with his newfound unemployed status, on “Brothers & Sisters,” SUNDAY, MAY 2 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED — “Perry and Rebecca’s High School Reunion” – When it’s time for Rebecca and Perry to go back to their high school reunion, Rebecca is ready to confront Jesse, the guy who publicly humiliated her by standing her up at the senior prom. But Perry knows the real reason why she was stood up and tells a preposterous lie to keep Rebecca from discovering the truth. Meanwhile, avid hockey fan Shawn is devastated when he finds out that the local cable company won’t be carrying the championship games. When he learns further that Lisa’s friend, Vanessa, has the games on her cable station, he has to hide his real motive for romancing Vanessa from both women, on “Romantically Challenged,” MONDAY, MAY 3 (9:32-10:00 p.m., ET).

CASTLE — “Food to Die For” — A high profile chef is found frozen in the kitchen of a hot New York restaurant. Complications ensue when Castle and the restaurant owner, an old high school girlfriend of Beckett’s, share an attraction. Meanwhile, Beckett’s relationship with Detective Demming (Michael Trucco) continues to grow, on “Castle,” MONDAY, MAY 3 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET). Rocco Dispirito, a fan of the dead chef and a fan of Castle’s books, guest stars in the episode.

LOST — “The Candidate ” — Jack must decide whether or not to trust Locke after he is asked to follow through on a difficult task, on “Lost,” TUESDAY, MAY 4 (9:00-10:02 p.m., ET)

V – “Hearts and Minds” — Erica, Ryan, Father Jack and Hobbes learn that Anna has sent a V shuttle with a deadly V tracker team to find them, and must figure out how to stop the shuttle from landing. Meanwhile, Anna gives Tyler his invitation to the Live Aboard Program, and Chad confronts Father Jack on what he knows about The Fifth Column, on “V,” TUESDAY, MAY 4 (10:02-11:00 p.m., ET).

THE MIDDLE — “Mother’s Day” – Mother’s Day for Frankie is anything but serene when she finds herself doing more for Mike and the kids and less for herself. But she learns that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when she escapes the family for a few hours to go to her mom’s (Marsha Mason, “The Goodbye Girl,” “Chapter Two”) and ends up acting like a child by making her mom wait on her hand and foot. Meanwhile, Sue feels guilty when she shoplifts a motivational magnet whose message actually enticed her to steal it, on “The Middle,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 5 (8:30-9:00 p.m., ET). Marsha Mason guest stars as Frankie’s mom, Pat.

MODERN FAMILY — “Airport 2010” – For Jay’s birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise, a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii. The only kicker is that she invited the entire family along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it’s a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.’s, security breaches and flying phobias, on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 5 (9:00-9:30 p.m., ET).

COUGAR TOWN — “Feel a Whole Lot Better” – Jules and Grayson consider the notion of FWB, friends with benefits. Meanwhile Andy hires a nanny for Ellie, and Travis benefits from Bobby’s unconventional plans to make some extra cash, on “Cougar Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 5 (9:30-10:01 p.m., ET).

HAPPY TOWN – “I Came to Haplin for the Waters” – Shaken by a grisly murder at the local pond and his father’s bizarre, self-inflicted injury, Deputy Tommy Conroy reluctantly accepts the title of Sherriff bestowed on him by town matriarch Peggy Haplin. However Tommy’s shocking discovery of Jerry Friddle’s murderer forces him to keep yet another of the town’s secrets with mixed emotions. Meanwhile, Henley appears to know a lot more about Haplin’s dark side than she’s letting on – drawing Merritt Grieves closer – but she’s determined to get access to the forbidden third-floor room of the mysterious boarding house, no matter what it takes, on “Happy Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 5 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

FLASHFORWARD “Course Correction” – Demetri and Agent Banks (Alex Kingston) attempt to track down a killer as questions arise about the universe course-correcting itself, when people who thought they’d escaped their fates are found dead; Mark reluctantly agrees to help Simon find his sister, Annabelle, but discovers he’s withholding the truth about her true circumstances; the FBI discovers the identity of Suspect Zero; and Nicole learns the whereabouts of Keiko – the woman in Bryce’s flashforward – but struggles with whether to share this information, due to her growing feelings for him, on “FlashForward,” THURSDAY, MAY 6 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). James Callis guest stars as Gabriel.

GREY’S ANATOMY — “How Insensitive” – Bailey preps the team with a mandatory sensitivity training prior to admitting a 700-pound patient with compounded medical issues, and the case proves to be challenging in every sense. Meanwhile Derek has to come face to face with a former patient’s husband in a wrongful death deposition, and spending time with a heart patient’s daughter opens up some old wounds for Cristina, on “Grey’s Anatomy,” THURSDAY, MAY 6 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET).

PRIVATE PRACTICE — “In the Name of Love” – Naomi puts Fife in a conflicted position when she begs him to help William’s advanced ALS with his still experimental treatment. Meanwhile Violet and Amelia (Guest star Caterina Scorsone) treat a woman with a brain tumor who has to choose between life or quality of life, and Sheldon decides to officially throw his hat into the ring for Charlotte’s affections, on “Private Practice,” THURSDAY, MAY 6 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

WIFE SWAP — “Beauvais/Clayton” – A successful family of inventors and entrepreneurs living their dreams swap with a family who, despite becoming unemployed, maintain a cheerful outlook while struggling to live in a trailer park on a low income, on “Wife Swap,” FRIDAY, MAY 7 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Each week two very contradictory families from across the country participate in a two-week-long challenge: The wives exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover daily life in another woman’s shoes. This astonishing experiment repeatedly changes lives and redefines families.

AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS – “Episode 2023” — Part One of a two-part series — “America’s Funniest Home Videos” counts down to “the 20 videos that changed the world” – features the funniest and most unique videos the show has received in its two decades on television, on “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” SUNDAY, MAY 9 (7:00-8:00 p.m., ET). The top video, to be named in the season finale, will win the entrant a cruise for four anywhere in the world that Disney Cruise Line sets sail (with choices including the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Northern Europe, the Mexican Riviera and Alaska), between June 2010 through September 2011. Tom Bergeron is host. The episode includes footage shot aboard the Disney Magic on an Eastern Caribbean cruise.

EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION — “Starkweather family” – In this special story for Mother’s Day, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” travels to Tulsa, OK, to meet Toen and Amy Starkweather, whose nine-year-old son, Ethan, suffers from a rare disorder called Prader-Willi syndrome. This incurable disease causes low muscle tone, labored speech, troubled breathing and a malfunctioning hypothalamus, which results in extreme and constant hunger. Because Ethan requires 24-hour care, the mounting list of necessary home repairs has been left on the back burner. The Starkweathers’ small home is very old, riddled with foundation, electrical and plumbing problems, and is barely accessible for Ethan. Also in the episode, the Make-a-Wish foundation will have a special guest on hand — aspiring interior designer Callie London, 11, of Farmington, UT, who suffers from cystic fibrosis. Callie’s wish to do a makeover on a kid’s room will come to life as she works with Paul DiMeo in designing Ethan’s new bedroom. Lilith Tour 2010 artists Sheryl Crow and Miranda Lambert are the “Get on the Bus” volunteers working and singing, while Sarah McLachlan also delivers a special message to the family, on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” SUNDAY, MAY 9 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES — “The Ballad of Booth” – Lynette comes to a shocking realization about Eddie, on “Desperate Housewives,” SUNDAY, MAY 9 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET). Meanwhile, Angie discreetly relies on Gaby for help when Patrick threatens the life of her son, Bree offers Sam a generous payoff to walk away, and Susan and Mike’s financial woes result in the ultimate sacrifice.

BROTHERS & SISTERS — “Lights Out” – The Walkers are heartbroken as they prepare to shut the doors of Ojai Foods for good, but new opportunities and secret alliances develop as a result of the family’s loss, on “Brothers & Sisters,” SUNDAY, MAY 9 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

CASTLE — “Overkill” — A robbery-homicide prompts Beckett to invite Demming to assist on a case, giving Castle a ringside seat to their budding romance. When it becomes clear that the two men have very different ideas about how to proceed, the investigation becomes an unspoken competition for Beckett’s attention. With each of them racing to be the first to solve the case, Beckett must referee between her two admirers, on “Castle,” MONDAY, MAY 10 (10:02-11:00 p.m., ET).

LOST — “Across the Sea” — TUESDAY, MAY 11 (9:00-10:02 p.m., ET). Copy TBD.

V — “Fruition” – After a violent attack on someone very close to Anna, she delivers a message that the Vs don’t feel safe and will be leaving; and Anna also gives a list of possible Fifth Column members to Chad, hoping he’ll investigate to help in finding them. Meanwhile, Erica and the team try to track down a scientist who may have created a weapon that the Visitors are afraid of, on “V,” TUESDAY, MAY 11 (10:02-11:00 p.m., ET).

THE MIDDLE — “Signals” – The Heck family BBQ is being planned as spring rolls around, and Mike decides it’s time for him and Brick to try to be more social at the event, since Frankie has pointed out that Mike’s own social ineptness has been passed on to Brick. Meanwhile, Axl sets out to clean the family pool to entice the girls to stop by for a swim — in their bikinis — and Sue finally finds someone who totally understands her, church youth group leader Reverend TimTom. But when she learns he may be leaving the parish due to budget cuts, she tries to raise money to help finance his stay, on “The Middle,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 12 (8:30-9:00 p.m., ET).

MODERN FAMILY — “Hawaii” – Jay could not be happier to do nothing but relax in this tropical paradise, but an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee, and the kids get into a little bit of mischief when left to their own devices, on “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 12 (9:00-9:30 p.m., ET).

COUGAR TOWN — “Breakdown” – Jules encourages Travis to submit a graduation speech, on “Cougar Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 12 (9:30-10:01 p.m., ET). Despite Grayson’s warning, a curious Jules reads the speech without permission and is crushed when she finds she has not been acknowledged. Meanwhile, Ellie uncharacteristically does something nice for Laurie, and Bobby tries to restrain himself from embarrassing Travis on his big day.

HAPPY TOWN — “Polly Wants a Crack at Her” – An ominous fearsome hawk soars over Haplin‘s unsuspecting residents as the Thaw Fest celebration is about to start. Tommy must walk a precarious line when it comes to Friddle’s murder, as a state investigator moves in to assist him. Andrew Haplin, still upset over girlfriend Georgia’s assault, exacts revenge on the person he believes to be the perpetrator — and pays for the consequences. Meanwhile, when Henley is a victim of a bizarre car accident, a handsome stranger not only comes to her rescue but lures her into a surprising, sensual relationship. And when Thaw Fest finally arrives, it comes with chilling and tragic consequences, on “Happy Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 12 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

FLASHFORWARD — “The Negotiation” – It’s April 28 – the day before the prophesized flashforward date – and as the world waits to see if their future visions will come true, Mark must do everything in his power to protect Gabriel (James Callis, “Battlestar Galactica”), who is the bridge between Dyson Frost and the Global Blackout; Aaron locates his daughter’s captors and puts his life on the line in order to rescue her; Janis is tasked with killing a fellow agent; and Simon comes face to face with the head of the nefarious organization that may be responsible for the blackout, on “FlashForward,” THURSDAY,
MAY 13
(8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Guest stars include Gabrielle Union as Zoey and Annabeth Gish as Lita.

GREY’S ANATOMY — “Shiny Happy People” – An elderly patient admitted into the E.R. for a heart condition sees a familiar face, a long lost love who happens to be in the E.R. as well for a fractured arm, and the staff find themselves caught up in their love story. Meanwhile, Karev treats a troubled teenage patient (guest star Demi Lovato) whose parents brought her in for schizophrenia, and Meredith can’t help but tell Cristina about her suspicions of Owen — which inevitably messes with Cristina’s head — on “Grey’s Anatomy,” THURSDAY, MAY 13 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET). Marion Ross guest stars as Betty.

PRIVATE PRACTICE — “The End of a Beautiful Friendship” – Maya and her unborn baby are fighting for their lives on the operating table, and Addison, Amelia (Guest star Caterina Scorsone) and Fife try everything humanly possible to save them. Meanwhile, Sam operates on an incoming crash victim and later makes a grim discovery, Cooper makes an ill-timed but valiant effort with Charlotte, and the staff’s world is rocked by an unexpected death, on the SEASON FINALE of “Private Practice,” THURSDAY, MAY 13 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

WIFE SWAP — “Haller-Wren/Spencer” – A macho family of football players who expect their trophy wife mom to serve their every need swap lives with a happy hippie family whose feminist mom believes in breaking accepted gender roles, on “Wife Swap,” FRIDAY, MAY 14 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Each week two very contradictory families from across the country participate in a two-week-long challenge: The wives exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover daily life in another woman’s shoes. This astonishing experiment repeatedly changes lives and redefines families.

AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS – “Episode 2024” — In part two of a two-part series — the top videos “that changed the world!” – the funniest, the strangest, most unusual video the show has received in its two decades on television is revealed, on the SEASON FINALE of “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” SUNDAY, MAY 16 (7:00-8:00 p.m., ET). The top video will win the entrant a cruise for four anywhere in the world that Disney Cruise Line sets sail (with choices including the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Northern Europe, the Mexican Riviera and Alaska), between June 2010 through September 2011. Tom Bergeron is the host. The season finale includes footage shot aboard the Disney Magic on an Eastern Caribbean cruise.

EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION “Williams family” – In the SEASON FINALE, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” travels to Pine Mountain Valley, GA, to meet Jeremy and Jennifer Williams, whose son, Jacob, was diagnosed with Spina Bifida before he was born. Then, several years after Jacob’s birth, Jeremy was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease. The home Jeremy and Jennifer bought 13 years ago is falling apart around them; in addition to mounting repairs, the home is too small to accommodate two disabled family members. NFL Super Star Michael Oher and the Tuohy Family (“The Blind Side”) are the “Get on the Bus” volunteers, while ESPN football analysts Herm Edwards, Mark Schlereth, Mark May and Desmond Howard are special guests, plus Demi Lovato (sings) and Wilmer Valderrama (with “Handy Manny”) also make appearances, SUNDAY, MAY 16
(8:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES — “I Guess This is Goodbye” – As a season of mysteries are resolved, new ones emerge on the explosive SEASON FINALE of “Desperate Housewives,” SUNDAY, MAY 16 (9:00-10:01 p.m., ET). Gaby risks her safety to help Angie, the fates of Lynette and her unborn child lie in Eddie’s hands, Susan comes to grips with her financial woes, Bree considers confessing a secret she’s harbored for years, and Angie must submit to Patrick’s demands in order to protect her son.

BROTHERS & SISTERS “On the Road Again” – As the Walkers try to cope with the sadness and financial ruin that lingers as a result of the closure of Ojai Foods, they discover a small ray of hope in one of William Walker’s many secret investments. Meanwhile, Robert’s health and the safety of his family are compromised when he finds himself in way over his head in a subversive business deal, and newlyweds Justin and Rebecca consider a trial separation, on the SEASON FINALE of “Brothers & Sisters,” SUNDAY, MAY 16 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

CASTLE – “A Deadly Game” – In the SEASON FINALE, nothing is as it seems when Castle and Beckett investigate what appears to be the assassination of an intelligence operative. Meanwhile, Beckett’s romance with Demming threatens her relationship with Castle, forcing them to confront their feelings for each other, on “Castle,” MONDAY, MAY 17 (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET). Guest stars include Stephen J. Cannell, Michael Connelly and James Patterson as themselves.

LOST — “What They Died For” — TUESDAY, MAY 18 (9:00-10:02 p.m., ET). Copy TBD.

V In the SEASON FINALE, “Red Sky,” the episode opens with the V soldier still on the hunt for Val, whose water breaks and whose baby (with Ryan) will soon be born. Meanwhile Erica, tired of being on the defensive, decides to go on the offensive: She gets herself and Tyler invited up to the Mothership for a get-to-know-everyone-better dinner, but she has more than food on her mind; she’s really there to find Anna’s soldiers and destroy them. And Chad, after Father Jack asks him to help get a message on the ship to Joshua, discovers the awful truth that Anna’s been using him, on “V,” TUESDAY, MAY 18 (10:02-11:00 p.m., ET).

THE MIDDLE — “Average Rules” – After attending year-end school parent-teacher conferences, Frankie and Mike are shocked to discover that Brick may be held back from going to the third grade because the school librarian, Mrs. Nethercott (Guest star Betty White), has it out for him due to his 31 unreturned books. Meanwhile, as Axl’s aptitude test results reveal that he’s academically gifted, Frankie makes it her mission to get an overlooked Sue the recognition she deserves when her teachers don’t even realize she’s in their classes, on the SEASON FINALE of “The Middle,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 19 (8:30-9:00 p.m., ET).

MODERN FAMILY — “Family Portrait” – Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems everything and everyone is working against her. Meanwhile Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron, Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a wedding singer gig while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon, on the SEASON FINALE of “Modern Family,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 19 (9:00-9:30 p.m., ET). Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant Makes a Cameo Appearance.

COUGAR TOWN — “Finding Out” – Jules and Grayson hatch an elaborate plan to break the news to Bobby they’re dating, and Travis sees the wrath of a truly angry woman for the first time when he forgets his momentous seven-month anniversary with Kylie, on the SEASON FINALE of “Cougar Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 19 (9:30-10:01 p.m., ET).

HAPPY TOWN — “Slight of Hand” – When Rachel Conroy mysteriously vanishes, an eerie cloud settles over Haplin, as clues point to the return of the elusive Magic Man. Surprisingly, Tommy finds an unlikely ally while desperately searching for his wife. Meanwhile, Handsome Dan announces he has to leave Haplin, then unexpectedly turns up elsewhere. Henley manages to get her stolen property back from Greggy Stiviletto and uses it to blackmail a member of Haplin’s powerful “first” family. Finally, Tommy investigates some gruesome evidence that ironically could mean good news for many of Haplin’s families, on “Happy Town,” WEDNESDAY, MAY 19 (10:01-11:00 p.m., ET).

FLASHFORWARD – “Countdown” — TUESDAY, MAY 25 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Copy TBD.

GREY’S ANATOMY — “Sanctuary” – In the first hour (9:00-10:00 p.m., ET) of a two-hour SEASON FINALE, Seattle Grace Hospital is hit with a crisis like no other in its history, on “Grey’s Anatomy,” THURSDAY, MAY 20. In the second hour (10:00-11:00 p.m., ET), “Death and All His Friends,” Cristina and Meredith’s surgical skills are put to the ultimate test. Mandy Moore (“A Walk to Remember”) guest stars.

WIFE SWAP — “Herrington/Trevino” – A clean-cut family who perform a wholesome variety show swap with a rules-free family of low-riders who let their girls wear and say anything they want, on “Wife Swap,” FRIDAY, MAY 21 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET). Each week two very contradictory families from across the country participate in a two-week-long challenge: The wives exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover daily life in another woman’s shoes. This astonishing experiment repeatedly changes lives and redefines families.

LOST RECAP SPECIAL — ABC offers new and avid “Lost” viewers a final glance at one of television’s most talked about and critically acclaimed shows. The “Lost” Series Finale Event begins with a two-hour special that takes a look back over the past six seasons of this groundbreaking series. “Lost Recap Special” airs SUNDAY, MAY 23 (7:00-9:00 p.m., ET).

LOST – “The End” — SERIES FINALE, SUNDAY, MAY 23 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET). Copy TBD.

“JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE” — Throughout sweeps, Jimmy Kimmel hosts an all-star lineup of guests including, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, Don Cheadle, Ryan Phillippe, Michael Douglas, Josh Holloway, Jake Gyllenhaal, Teri Hatcher and Courtney Love, and will also have the first interview with the winner of “Dancing with the Stars.” In addition, after the final episode of “LOST,” longtime fan Jimmy will host an hour-long analysis of and farewell to one of television’s most beloved series, with appearances from executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, alternate endings, and live interviews with cast members, SUNDAY, MAY 23 (11:35 p.m. – 12:35 a.m.). The month of May also brings musical performances from Hole, Stone Temple Pilots, Tim McGraw Godsmack, Angels and Airwaves, Dirty Heads, Slayer, Damian Marley with Nas and Massive Attack, who are making their only U.S. TV appearance. “Jimmy Kimmel Live” airs MONDAY-FRIDAY (12:05 a.m. – 1:05 a.m., ET).

THE BACHELORETTE Ali Fedotowsky has finally decided to risk it all for love. The energetic and charismatic career-oriented woman from San Francisco has re-prioritized her life – and now love comes out on top. She will have her own opportunity to find her soul mate when the sixth edition of “The Bachelorette” PREMIERES MONDAY, MAY 24 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET), and moves to its regular time slot (8:00-10:02 p.m., ET) on Monday, May 31

Ali, 25, has been a fan favorite from the moment she stepped out of the limo with her sexy raspy voice and a peacock feather to meet Jake Pavelka on the last season of “The Bachelor.” She became the front-runner for Jake’s heart, but instead they found themselves in a heartbreaking situation when she made a gut-wrenching decision to choose a job she loved over the man she loved. Ali made the surprising safe choice to go back to work, but regretted it immediately. By the time she sorted out her work affairs, Jake had already moved on with his search for love with the three fabulous women who stayed with him, and he did not allow Ali to return. But it’s not too late for Ali now. Admitting that she made one of the biggest mistakes of her life, she has let go of everything this time – her apartment, her job, her stability – to really make a life-changing commitment to put her heart first.

11:00 p.m., ET).

This girl is the female Boston Rob? Not.

By Gina Carbone

Can I ask you something? Why is it so frickin hard to get rid of Russell Hantz? No matter what efforts are made to oust him, he sticks. It’s like Samoa is his “Lost” island and he’s Jacob’s real candidate.

Producer shenanigans? Part of me hopes so. ‘Cause stupidity is getting old as an excuse on “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.”

Tonight’s episode was “Jumping Ship” and Amanda Kimmel was ditched because Candice Woodcock fell victim to Russell’s “final 3” Villain whispers. The Russell Seed! Why does it work? Why!

Candice gets the Dumbass Move Of The Week Award.

Sandra Diaz acted like she had jumped to the Heroes to get rid of Russell out of revenge. (Loved that she said it was revenge for Tyson, Boston Rob, Courtney and …sure, even Coach, even though she didn’t care about him.) But as she said last week, she still needs Russell. So she voted for Amanda with the rest of her group. Plus Candice.

But that was the subtext to the real drama — Danielle, Amanda and Colby spent the night on the same bed on a Rewards Challenge … and no one made a move. So boring. If “Treasure Island” can’t get you in the mood…

Instead, Danielle found the hidden immunity idol clue, Amanda noticed — as she always does — and FLAT OUT STOLE IT. Fantastic! I’ve always wondered why people don’t just steal idols, so why not idol clues?

Danielle fought her for it but couldn’t get it back. The weary Colby, looking like he couldn’t believe he got stuck in this mess, had to play Daddy and break up the fighting kids. He told Amanda to give Danielle the clue since she found it.

Colby is a true Hero, but since Amanda is the real Survivor, why did she listen to Colby?

Anyway, it was all for nothing. The final vote came down to Amanda vs. Parvati and Russell wasted the idol he found using Danielle’s clue. Not that Russell ever waited for the clues back on “Survivor: Samoa.”

Amanda and Parv were in the final two together on “Fans vs. Favorites” and Parv beat her. So it’s fitting that she won again.

It’s true, Amanda was a huge threat — she’s a smart, strong, aggressive player and for some reason people like her. But the female Boston Rob? If anything, that’s Parv.

LOVE how Parv rolled her eyes in disgust at Russell, scoffing that he wasted an idol. All hail the queen.


Rupert, after the JT-dumping Tribal Council: “I tried.”

Russell in the tent, whining to whoever will listen about how “they” have “secrets going around?” He’s as confused as Boston Rob after the Tyson dumping.

Parvati told Russell of her double idol move “It’s a surprise!”

Russell: “You lied to me, that’s how I feel.” (Cue the violins.) “It pisses me off that y’all didn’t tell me. Whatever. You can talk all you want.”

Hee hee!

Parvati, still smiling and giggling, told the camera she wanted Russell scared.

Rupert, as expected, is up on a cross about how he tried to warn the Heroes. He was just lucky that Sandra was right in what she told him. And lucky that she told him, since they have the Pearl Islands in common.

Candice talked to Russell about how impressed she was by their move.

The ship is sinking, he said, and someone has to jump. That person will be crucial to what happens next.

Russell is saying this because he doesn’t trust Sandra and he wants to pull Candice into his top 6 move. He won’t say she’s going to be in the top 3, but it’s a strong possibility. Ha.

Russell told Parv that Candice was ready to “burn her house down.” So it doesn’t matter what Sandra wants to do.


A “Survivor” version of shuffleboard. This is where it would’ve been smart to keep some old people around.

Winning team will visit Robert Louis Stevenson museum for a movie and an overnight.

Parv thinks there will be a clue to another idol on that trip. How many frickin idols are there on this island?

Red team was winning — Rupert, Russell and Sandra. It came down to Colby, who won it for the blue team. Yeah! The Colby comeback is on!

Colby, Amanda and Danielle got the reward because they were on the blue team.


You know, if I ever found myself in the same bed as Colby Donaldson, I would not waste it by wrestling with another woman. Especially in a non-hot way.

Sitting on the bed watching “Treasure Island,” Danielle found the idol clue in a bowl of popcorn.

Amanda was suspicious and sat next to her on the bed.

Amanda grabbed the clue and they had a “psychopath” catfight while Colby just sat there.

Amanda stole the clue. Danielle kept repeated she was “psychotic.”

Colby: “I didn’t even see what happened. I was watching Treasure Island.”


Danielle wanted Colby to play Daddy and mediate. Colby calmly said the idol was Danielle’s because she found it and she had to give it back to Danielle.

Danielle said she needed a glass of wine. It was so fourth grade.

So all in all not a sexy three-way.

Danielle spins the story to her tribe that she wrestled Amanda to the ground and ripped it out of her hand. Not quite the way it happened. She left out how she whined to Colby about how Amanda should’ve given it back. And how Amanda whined that Colby did not back her up.

Russell is still bitter about the other immunity idol so he didn‘t tell them that he found the new idol.

Russell: “I am the king of hidden immunity idols.”

He told Candice he had the idol to show that he trusted her. So he took her on  tour. “Stick with me, I can take you places.”

You know, another young blonde won on that strategy right there on Samoa…

Russell said that was going to get them to the final three. Such a line. But is he still seriously planning to have Parvati there?


Sandra talked to Colby about what to do. Sandra has jumped ship to what was the Heroes. Colby wanted to know if they should first take out Russell or Parvati.


Sandra turned to Russell and said Colby is “uptight.” Jerri was right, he has “no personality.” Shut the eff up about my boy!

Russell told Sandra they had six votes — one of the former Heroes turned.

Sandra told the camera if she sticks with the Villains she’ll never get higher than top 5. That’s why she has to flip to the Heroes, because the Villains won’t get rid of Russell.

Then Sandra told Rupert if he wants Russell gone, he’s gone. Or they could vote out Parv. Rupert said he’d prefer to dump Russell first. “The guy is a piece of garbage,” Rupert said.

Agreed, man. Agreed.

Colby talked to Amanda about how Sandra wants to get rid of Russell.

Colby said he didn’t see any reason why Sandra would bluff him at this point.


They have to use panels to build a house of cards.

I do love these simple challenges. No more complicated obstacle courses. I hope.

First person to get to 10 feet wins immunity.

Jerri won immunity by seconds over Russell.

It was her very first immunity ever. Huzzah, Jerri! I’m happy for her. But technically she got immunity from Parvati the other night.


Sandra said she was voting for Russell for Tyson, Boston Rob, Courtney and even Coach although she doesn’t care about him. Ha!

Russell said Rupert and Colby look “done,” but somehow he thinks Amanda is a great strategic player. She’s like Boston Rob in a woman’s body, he said. Say whuh? Not quite.

The Heroes played cards with Sandra and Rupert was regaling them with stories about how he went home on Pearl Islands the night he thought he was safe.

Rupert said they all had to write Russell’s name down. Candice talked to Russell and said Sandra was going to write his name down.

So Russell talked to both Sandra and Candice and said they had to write Amanda’s name down. (Why do people listen to him?)

Sandra talked to Rupert about how Candice just told Russell everything. So Sandra thinks they will give Russell the idol now.

Colby reassured Sandra they would not sell her out. They said they would vote for Parvati.

Colby said if this thing doesn’t work it’s Candice’s fault for talking.

Sandra really laid it on thick to Candice. Candice is so weak.


They talked about how it makes sense for someone at the bottom of their tribe like Sandra to flip to another tribe.

Ha! Russell thinks Sandra would be easy to beat in the end. Fool.

Russell talked about all of the Villains’ strategies and said Sandra was “just there” with them. Wow.

The Heroes think Danielle has the idol. Colby and Rupert are sure. Why are they always so sure of everything?

Russell played the idol he found. He didn’t need to, but it was good to flush it out.

1. Amanda

2. Amanda

3. Parvati (love Courtney cracking up in the jury)

4. Parvati (now it’s Russell’s turn to say “Damn it”)

5. Amanda

6. Amanda

7. Parvati

8. Amanda

It was the first time Amanda had heard “The tribe is spoken.” She made it to the finals in both of her other seasons.

Ha! Russell told Parvati he was never so nervous and she rolled her eyes at him that “you wasted one.” That should tell you everything about their relationship.

So, even though we’re still stuck with Russell, the fact that the Heroes wrote down Parvati’s name was his second blindside in a row.

These people are still around:
Rupert Boneham (Pearl Islands, All-Stars)
Colby Donaldson (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands)

Sandra Diaz (Pearl Islands)
Danielle DiLorenzo (Panama)
Russell Hantz (Samoa)
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Fans vs. Favorites)

It was that O face. It swallowed up all the votes just when we were trying to vote for you.

By Gina Carbone

That guy from “The Bachelor” was denied a final rose from the judges + viewers tonight, making him the fifth person removed from “Dancing with the Stars” Season 10.

Jakey-poo gave his A game O face during his trippy Samba last night. He dressed his partner Chelsie Hightower like an ugly jungle tranny and he (once again) tripped by the stairs. Also, Vienna Girardi gave classic bitch face from the audience. All in all, not his best night.

For all things DWTS, click here on

For all things Bachelor, including The Bachelorette, click here at A separate Bachelorette site is coming soon.

See ya, Jake! You’ll have to find Vienna a new way of getting camera time. You know that’s why Jake’s “beautiful fiancee” looked extra pissed tonight. Not because Jake told Chelsie “I love you.”

Eric is back in his tracksuits. Nice.

HBO seriously rocks. Not only are we getting “True Blood” Season 3 video teasers and posters, we are now getting six original webisodes.

Learn more and watch the first one here.

First look at the "True Blood" season 3 cast photo. Nice to see Eric in the center.

Dying over Pam and Eric and their Fangtasia dance auditions. So glad they started there. Having said that, can we stay? No need to visit Sookie and Bill or anyone else.

Catch up on “True Blood” stuff here in my little archive.

Bald is not always beautiful.

By Gina Carbone

I’m going to post a tidbit from the latest CBS press release on “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains,” but first I want to acknowledge the off-stage drama going on with Russell Hantz.

Our favorite Evil Oompa Loompa was charged with pushing a woman (what a shock!) near a bar he owns in Lafayette, Louisiana. Russell’s camp is saying the whole thing was a misunderstanding, and in true Oompa fashion he is considering taking legal action against the cops who arrested him.

On to the press release:


“Jumping Ship” – With two swing votes hanging in the balance, no one can be sure of their safety heading into Tribal Council, and even the most formidable villain in the game makes a potential miscalculation, on SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS, Thursday, April 29 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

Catch up on “Survivor” recaps here in my nifty archive.

Spoilers: Want to jump ahead and find out who is eliminated next? How about the whole boot list, including this season’s winner? Read that here.

I liked the idea of the Cherry Battle Digital Short more than the execution.

By Gina Carbone

“Saturday Night Live” was painful last night. I spent a good portion of it looking at my feet because I felt so bad for Gabourey Sidibe, who tried hard and gave a lot of energy, but kept stumbling over her lines and messing up her timing.

Not that she had a lot to work with. When SNL is good it’s very good and when it’s bad it’s lazy and self-indulgent, as it was last night.

Another long, dull Obama cold opening. (It’s like they know we don’t find them funny and they air them just out of spite.)

Her monologue was a peppy musical number, but it pales in comparison to Taylor Swift and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Still, that was one of her highlights.

Kristen Wiig was allowed to do more annoying voices — Suze Ormon and Judy Grimes (Just kidding! Just kidding…No, I’m not. Yes, I am. Just kidding…).

Why choose nervous Judy to bring back to Weekend Update? I’d like to see Nicholas Fehn (Fred Armisen) return to make more attempts at commenting on news stories, before cutting himself off mid-sentence.

Bill Hader once again cracked himself up as Stefon, who was supposed to give family-friendly advice to tourists on what to see in New York in the spring. Instead he talked about the hottest and most disgusting clubs in the city. That was probably the only time I laughed out loud, and partially because Hader always has so much trouble keeping a straight face.

Seth Meyers is the head writer on the show and you’d think he’d spend a little more time focusing on the writing for the hosts and not his own solo Weekend Update endeavours.

Instead, he brought out one of his writer friends to give a spoken-word essay on how he’d like to buy Girl Scout cookies all year round. Well, yeah, me too. And I’d also like to have pumpkin muffins from Dunkin Donuts year round. And Shamrock Shakes from McDonalds. (Shut up, they’re good!) And Cadbury Mini Eggs beyond Easter. It was classic Seinfeldian “you ever wonder…” stuff that came off as filler for a weak night.

I love Will Forte as creepy white supremacist Hamilton and his love story with Gabourey at the end of the night was a half-decent sketch. But it can’t touch anything from, say, host Blake Lively’s hosting gig and Blake’s night was only really notable for that Blessed From Above potato chip skit.

Last week Ryan Phillippe also performed on a weak show and I didn’t write anything about it because I was too busy trying to figure out how his voice had dropped. “Cruel Intentions” was on the other night and his voice is about an octave higher there. He has (supposedly) already gone through puberty, so … does working out a lot do that? Or taking steroids? Or just working hard to sound manly? I’m curious.

Either way, I can’t think of anything from his skit last week that I loved, but he also gave it his all. More bad writing.

He wasn’t quite up to January Jones‘ high standard of Worst Host Ever, but Gabourey fell into the same traps of obvious nervousness, line flubbing and bad timing. She’s not naturally funny in a live forum, which does not mean she’s not funny in real life. SNL producers (Lorne!) need to do a better job of distinguishing the difference.

I’m going to post the entire list of hosts from season 35, in order of my preference. For now, I am giving Gabourey a slight lead over January, but I may change my mind tomorrow.

Don’t forget: SNL is a repeat next week, then BETTY WHITE! They will not let her fail, so look for all the best material to have been saved for her. I hope that’s what they do, anyway. My God, can you imagine if they screw up Betty’s night?


This list was just copied wholesale from Wikipedia and re-ordered, so that’s why it has dates and crap at the end. I don’t feel like deleting any of it.

Keep in mind, some of these are ranked higher than others because of non-host stuff — like the digital short, inclusion of a particularly good skit or (rarely) the musical guest.

1. January 30, 2010 Jon Hamm/Michael Bublé (35.13, live)

2. November 7, 2009 Taylor Swift (35.5 live)

3. October 3, 2009 Ryan Reynolds/Lady Gaga (35.2, live)

4. October 17, 2009 Gerard Butler/Shakira (35.4, live)

5. March 6, 2010 Zach Galifianakis/Vampire Weekend (35.16, live)

6. November 21, 2009 Joseph Gordon-Levitt/Dave Matthews Band (35.7, live)

7. December 5, 2009 Blake Lively/Rihanna (35.8, live)

8. April 10, 2010 Tina Fey/Justin Bieber (35.18, live)

9. January 16, 2010 Sigourney Weaver/The Ting Tings (35.12, live)

10. December 19, 2009 James Franco/Muse (35.10, live)

11. October 10, 2009 Drew Barrymore/Regina Spektor (35.3, live)

12. March 13, 2010 Jude Law/Pearl Jam (35.17, live)

13. September 26, 2009 Megan Fox/U2 (35.1, live)

14. December 12, 2009 Taylor Lautner/Bon Jovi (35.9, live)

15. January 9, 2010 Charles Barkley/Alicia Keys (35.11, live)

16. February 6, 2010 Ashton Kutcher/Them Crooked Vultures (35.14, live)

17. February 27, 2010 Jennifer Lopez (35.15, live)

18. April 17, 2010 Ryan Phillippe/Ke$ha (35.19, live)

19. April 24, 2010 Gabourey Sidibe/MGMT (35.20, live)

20. November 14, 2009 January Jones/The Black Eyed Peas (35.6, live)

Coming soon: May 8, 2010 Betty White/Jay-Z (35.21, live)

Love, love, love Seth Aaron. Willy Wonka meets the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak.

By Gina Carbone

It’s fitting that “Project Runway” season 7 came down to Emilio Sosa and Seth Aaron Henderson.

And the right designer won.

The buddies worked well together, won a challenge together, and were neck and neck for talent throughout the season. Yes, Emilio won more challenges. And perhaps he should not have won the fabric challenge that may or may not have pushed Maya Luz over the edge to quit the show. And yes, Emilio had attitude. He was the Meana Irina of season 7.

Meanwhile, third place winner Mila Hermanovski was inexplicably viewed as something of a bitch and was enemies with Jay Nicolas Sario, but that just came off as manufactured drama.

Through it all, everyone loved Seth Aaron. His work is more edgy and unique than commercial, but so what. He’s the commercial one. Look at the guy. Hollywood is going to eat him up.

I’m so happy for his family! He did this for them.


Kristina is red, white and awesome for my boy Seth Aaron.

Seth Aaron Henderson, 38, Vancouver, Wash. — Edgy, fun, colorful, exciting. Very, very Seth Aaron — even though he was inspired by 1940s military. You can always pick his stuff out right away, while still being surprised by it. Friggin love this guy. So jealous of his wife. My boy Nigel Barker from “America’s Next Top Model” called Seth’s collection “sexy” and I think that’s exactly it. Howard Stern’s wife, Beth, also singled out Seth. I agreed with Nina that the silk sort of parachute dress was amazing. The purple dress? Not so much. Nina and Michael felt he had gotten more sophisticated and grown up, but he was a bit costumey and could go overboard. Nina called him “fearless.” He has guts.

Seth finale collection:

Gross color, but to each his own.

Faith Hill loves this coat, too.

Emilio Sosa, 43, New York —I hate that vomit green shade he had as his first an signature look but I LOVE his blue turquoise coat. I also liked that he went for a global feel to his collection. And so much color. You know Nina Garcia loves the color. But he was an ass to Tim Gunn this entire season and that is not OK. Tim Gunn is a national treasure, even if you don’t always agree with him. Anthony Williams singled out Emilio’s work during the interviews. Jonathan Peters said Emilio and Mila’s collections could be bought right off the runway, whereas Seth’s looks were more “whimsical.” Michael Kors said this was the most commercial collection. Guest judge Faith Hill was “knocked out” by his work. She repeated that. Nina said Emilio was thinking more business-wise. Michael wasn’t wowed and said there was a lack of showmanship, but the clothes were the easiest to wear.

Emilio finale collection:

This was Mila's first look. It should hook me, but it doesn't.

Mila Hermanovski, 40, L.A. — Her collection looked like Seth Aaron lite. The same love for black an white and stripes, but without as much pop and wow. Joanna Coles of Marie Claire liked Mila’s shadows inspiration. Irina Shabayeva, who won season 6, also liked Mila’s looks. Then again, Ping went with Mila, too. I agree with Heidi that the shirt with the stripes crossing was a great look. That was my favorite.

Mila finale collection:

You got what you deserved, man. Stephen would be ashamed.

By Gina Carbone

Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

Is this the first time someone has blindsided Russell Hantz? Sure, he’s still in the mix on “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains,” but he did not see Parvati Shallow playing two idols on the episode appropriately titled “Going Down in Flames.”

He decided to give Parvati the idol JT Thomas had given him, ignoring his own taunt last week that you should never give the enemy the idol.

Make no mistake, troll, Parvati is the enemy. And she is kicking your Oompa Loompa Ass! LOVE IT.

Especially since Oompa was so blinded by his own sense of being the heroic and magnanimous King Villain, he didn’t realize Queen Parvati already had her own idol.

I think Jerri Manthey was right. The name of the newly merged tribe should be All Villains. There is no Yin and Yang. They are all scrambling in the exact same way. Except maybe Parvati. She is “dangerous,” as Amanda Kimmel noted, but so far people are just handing her opportunities like grapes to the gods. Doesn’t seem terribly savvy.

I don't like you, but I respect you. Now, what's your big plan for next week?

By the end of the episode, Parvati’s real ally, Danielle DiLorenzo, had won the immunity challenge (which Parv let her win), and Parv gave her two idols to Sandra Diaz-Twine and Jerri.

Candice Woodcock said the five Heroes voted for Jerri because she was considered the least likely of the Villains to be given an idol. So those five Jerri votes were invalid, leaving only the five Villain votes for Idiot Boy JT.

It was a masterful play, but now what?

Hey, speaking of who is kicking Russell’s ass, Sandra is now coming into her own. She had the most powerful thing you can have in this game: Information. And she played it well. She told Rupert “The Banana Whisperer” Boneham the truth about Russell, knowing he would believe her but maybe his compatriots wouldn’t. Now that the Hero leader is gone, she can sweep in and be the new leader of the minority tribe.

Oh and JT? He said in his goodbye that he felt like “a total idiot” for believing Russell so completely, but instead of turning around and blaming Russell and the Villains, his key conclusion was: “Don’t trust women, ever ever ever.”

That’s what you got out of what happened? How about don’t trust yourself, ever ever ever, since you are so blinded by your own alpha male arrogance you STILL can’t see you got screwed by you.

And your good pal Russell — who whispered to Parvati that she had some “explaining to do” — got screwed by the exact same thing.

Parvati, I tip my hat to you. I still can’t stand your obnoxious laugh and I have no idea what you’re going to do next week when you have no idols to play, but good on ya.


Heroes Camp To Be Home Base

Rupert and Amanda find a trunk that can only be opened when the Villains show up with the key. (Very “Ghostbusters.” Are you the Keymaster? I am the Gatekeeper! Maybe Jerri and Colby can role-play that out.)

So the 5 Villains will be moving in with the 5 Heroes at Chez Heroes.


Villains Plot Stuff

Russell thinks he has the only immunity idol. He had a pow-wow with Parvati and Danielle about what to tell the Heroes when they show up — “they” including Parvati, whom JT and the Heroes instructed Russell to ditch in their hilarious love letter. Danielle got all “Shh!” when Sandra was wandering by. What are you, 4?

Danielle annoys the crap out of me. So keep her. No one ever wants to vote for the obnoxious ones at the end, so it’s good to have someone like that sitting next to you.


The Villains Are Coming!

Parvati once again referred to herself as the Queen and Russell as the King. She called Danielle her “Lady in Waiting.”

And here I thought Coach was gone.

A toast to being completely ruled by the Villains!

JT said “Thank God” when he saw Russell there, behind the (*sponsorship alert*) Sears box.

So he figured Parvati played an idol and there are no more idols in the game. … Except for the two Russell and Parvati have! Way to be, JT.

They opened the black box and vegetables and fruits and stuff arrived.

They talked about what to call themselves. Hillains. Yin Yang. Jerri suggested “All Villains,” and despite Rupert’s frustrations, that’s a good idea. Rupert is another one I would be glad to see gone.

Parvati doesn’t feel like she’s part of the new tribe because they all wanted her gone. She’s “offended” by how the Heroes are treating her. (The Queen is not amused!) They don’t know it, she said, but they are about to be picked off one by one.

Russell spinned his lies to JT and Rupert. He told them Parvati played her idol at the same time. He said there was a revote and that’s how they got to Courtney. He told them — ha ha! — he hasn’t been comfortable since day 4.

He told them — ha ha — to just “breathe” and let it happen.

Seriously, Coach is still around. He’ll probably break into Tai Chi.

JT admitted to the camera Russell could actually be the leader of the girls, but he doesn’t believe it. He knows the idol move could come back to bite him, but he’s so DELUDED confident he’s sure of the new alliance.

Sandra wants revenge. She told Rupert the truth, that Courtney was part of her alliance. She said Russell is the kingpin and Parvati is his right-hand man. She said the Heroes are going to be picked off one by one, starting with a man.

Rupert said he has to believe Sandra (why?) and that means Russell is playing them.

Now, we know Sandra is telling the truth, but Rupert doesn’t know that. He just believes whatever the last person said. Not a good plan.

Maybe it should be All Idiots instead of All Villains.


We’re Back to Banana Etiquette Already!

Rupert has no patience for big eaters. Ironic since he’s the fat guy.

Rupert: “Greedy ass, eatin ass, pain in the ass tribe.”

They have plenty of coconuts, but when you want to eat their bananas it becomes war.

Rupert makes Sandra’s case about Russell. “He’s on the Villain’s side for a reason!” (Tip: So is Sandra.)

JT believes Russell. They all just believe whoever has looked in their eyes.

Rupert proposed a test. They will tell Russell who they are voting out then the five of them will vote for someone else.

JT told Rupert he was “paranoid.” It’s “Survivor.” You should be.

“There’s a reason I’ve been doing Rupert’s strategical play for him thus far,” JT said, chuckling. (DUMBASS)

He laughed and told the camera Rupert should think about it, should he believe Sandra or should he believe the obvious thing, which is Russell and the women’s alliance?

Rupert is talking sense at this point, telling Candice that Russell swore on his kids’ lives that he was telling them the truth, and anyone who would say that he doesn’t trust.

But it took Sandra telling him that for him to believe it. Sandra made a smart move in picking Rupert to tell. She knew who would believe her.


Amanda and Parvati

Amanda told Parvati she has no power on her tribe (ha!). She said she’s working hard to get rid of Sandra and that’s the only way to save Parvati. These two should not be allowed to talk to each other.

Parvati decided to tell Amanda about her idol. Why?

They aren’t telling each other the whole truth, but they say they trust each other. That’s what they say to each other’s faces, anyway. But Amanda told the camera she knows if Parvati gets to the end she’ll win.


Immunity Challenge

Russell said they settled on a name of Yin Yang.

Simple hang-onto-the-pole challenge. I like the simple ones.

They are very high up. Candice, JT and Parvati have done this challenge before but have never won.

Sandra couldn’t get good footing. Colby and Sandra were the first ones out.

Look, I LOVE Colby, but WTF? What’s wrong with his feet? Train yourself, man. I like you a lot more than Rupert but Rupert has a broken toe and he’s hanging on.

This is another challenge that favors women because they tend to have smaller feet. Same as last week, which is curious.

That said, JT did well last week and he’s doing well again. His deluded overconfidence is irritating, but he’s a VERY strong physical player. There are so many reasons to get rid of him.

After JT dropped it was down to Candice, Parvati, Jerri and Danielle.

Jerri dropped from dehydration more than pain, she said. She was up there for 1 hr 30 min.

Candice and Parvati had a showdown back on Cook Islands.

Candice stepped off the post to end the challenge and Jeff called her out on that move. Why is she doing that?

Danielle and Parvati were left and they chatted. Danielle said she would win because Parvati has the idol. So Parvati got down. That’s the downside of telling her about that idol, Parv.

So Danielle got immunity, not that she needed it.

Rupert told the camera Parvati wouldn’t have walked off the pole if she didn’t have the idol. (It’s true.)

He wants to out Russell as the weasel he is. (It’s true.)

The downside of this whole Sandra Told Rupert thing is Rupert will now puff himself up as the voice of wisdom when he was just lucky that she chose him to tell. She could’ve been lying, just like Russell was lying to JT. After all, Sandra is a villain, too.


Who To Vote Out?

JT said the plan is for Russell to write down Parvati’s name where the Heroes will write down either Jerri or Sandra’s name.

JT and Colby were confused by Parvati giving up during the challenge. They think it’s suspicious.

Sandra really wants Russell out bad. “But right now I’m stuck with Russell. I’m stuck with Russell.”

Girl, I feel your pain. I do. I want him out BAD.

Russell plans to save Parvati again. So he — ha ha! — gave her the idol JT gave him.

So now — ha ha! — Parvati has two idols. Everyone wants to get rid of her and yet they can’t stop giving her idols.

Amanda said of Parvati: “She’s so dangerous.” She wants Parvati to play her idol to flush it out. She told Parvati they were voting for her, but Parv knew Amanda was lying.

Amanda made some bad acting sigh and said “My head hurts.” Whatever. No wonder Parvati beats you at this.


Tribal council

Rupert is back on the bananas! My God, man! Danielle gave a “with all due respect…” speech, which we all know means “I have no respect for you…” So it’s Danielle vs. Rupert over food. This is embarrassing.

Russell said there are two separate tribes and the game is on. Let’s forget about green bananas. “Tonight’s vote will dictate the rest of the game.” This is the most important vote. If a Hero goes home, the Villains will be in the top 5. And vice versa.

JT now believes his name will be written down, because no one is talking to him. (Wah!)

Jerri, are you trying to flirt with JT now? I like your style, girl. Colby, then JT. Good eye.

Now there’s a fight over who is being ignored the most. Parv said she feels like a “leper” and SNAP! Jeff asked if it was because she’s used to getting attention in real life.

Candice said they decided to vote for Jerri because out of all of the Heroes she was the least likely to be given a hidden idol. (Ouch!)

LOVE watching Coach and Courtney whisper about the “troll.” Coach is such a lounge lizard.

Parvati played two idols! She gave one to Sandra and one to Jerri. So funny!

JT said “damn it.”







JT said “well done” — to Russell?

Russell turned to Parv and said she had some explaining to do. Ha! She owes you nothing, troll.


These people are still around:

Rupert Boneham (Pearl Islands, All-Stars)
Colby Donaldson (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Amanda Kimmel (China, Fans vs. Favorites)
Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands)

Sandra Diaz (Pearl Islands)
Danielle DiLorenzo (Panama)
Russell Hantz (Samoa)
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Fans vs. Favorites)


Psst? Want to know who wins “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”? Or just who goes next? The boot list is already out. Read it here.

We all go a little mad sometimes.

By Gina Carbone

Don, grab your old-fashioned! Joan, grab your accordion! Roger, grab your nearest PYT! Lois, grab your nearest piece of dangerous machinery! We’re back in business.

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce will continue its war with whatever remains of Sterling Cooper 1.0 when “Mad Men” season 4 begins on Sunday, July 25.

Isn’t that swell?

Bad-ish news now.

There’s some up-in-the-airness about this, but show creator Matt Weiner made some comment at the National Association of Broadcasters convention last week that he could not see writing or continuing the series beyond season 6.

According to the LA Times, that came as a big surprise to fans, but also execs at AMC.

“A spokeswoman for AMC assures that no end date has been set for the show and issued this statement on behalf of the network: ‘No one wants to see Don Draper wearing a leisure suit.  We trust Matthew’s vision and that he knows where to take the show.  But with that said, M*A*S*H figured how to stretch the Korean War for more than a decade, so stay tuned!'”

Don’t speak too soon. If Jon Hamm is the one wearing Don’s leisure suit, there’s at least one person here who wants to see it.

By the way, is our girl Joan — aka Christina Hendricks — the hottest woman alive? Esquire seems to think so. Seems like a good call from here.

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