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Get your hands off my Nigel! Quick, Miss J, smother Tyra with that orange thing you're draped in!

It’s like she’s daring us now.

All the crazy “Pot Ledom” stuff. Tookie. The branding words. The insane challenges. The “All-Stars” disqualification of Angelea Preston with no explanation. The failure to give any kind of award — even for Most Patient Model To Sit Through This Crap — to Allison Harvard.

All of it. It’s like Tyra Banks is daring us to keep watching “America’s Next Top Model.”

Last week on Cycle 18, “British Invasion” — which, yes, I am still watching — they dumped one of the frontrunners, AzMarie, for refusing to wear a (sigh) “booty tooch pad” in Tyra’s tooch class. That’s where we are now.

But all of that, somehow, I can stand. I’ll shake my head, but I can stand it. But I wake up today and — lo and behold — my three favorite people on the show have just been fired: sexy noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, the fabulous runway diva coach extraordinaire Miss J. Alexander, and the on-shoot style director/therapist, Ice Man Jay Manuel.

I can’t see the end game with this.

Are they seriously thinking this will help ratings — because ratings are down because of Nigel and the Jays? Ratings are not down because of Nigel and the Jays. We all know ratings are down because:

1. Lisa won “All-Stars” instead of Allison.

2. There’s been no explanation about Angelea.

3. The show has just gotten too bizarre and too much about Tyra’s own ego as opposed to finding raw new talent and supporting it.

Kelly Cutrone was added to the judges’ table this cycle and so far it sounds like she’s still going to be around. She gets to stay, the guys have to go. Unbelievable. I really think they must want the show to end so they’re going to go out of their way to kill it.

If you are still curious/sad/determined enough to still want to keep up with ANTM news, be sure to check out for all kinds of daily updates, polls and my recaps. I want Sophie to win this cycle, and not just because she’s best friends with Hermione Granger. It won’t change everything that’s happened but Sophie winning would end the men’s reign on a high-ish note.

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