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By Gina Carbone
This is what I wanted to happen:
- “Hurt Locker” wins best pic and best director for my hero Kathryn Bigelow. (Which would make her the second woman to win this award, after Barbra Streisand for “Yentl.” It’s time for Babs to be dethroned, no?)
- Jeff Bridges (“Crazy Heart”) or Jeremy Renner (“Hurt Locker”) for Best Actor in a motion picture drama.
- “Mad Men” gets anything and everything it’s nominated for, including Jon Hamm for Best Actor TV drama and January Jones for Best Actress TV drama.
- Christoph Waltz for best supporting actor for “Inglourious Basterds”
- “The Weary Kind” from “Crazy Heart” for best original song.
- And I want host Ricky Gervais to do something shocking to make everyone in the audience uncomfortable.
But as the sun now stands, Julianna Margulies won over January Jones (and Anna Paquin of “True Blood”), which upsets me, although Julianna looked GORGEOUS.
Michael C. Hall won over Jon Hamm and Hugh Laurie and I have to say, that head wrap is a good look for him. Not happy about why he has to wear it, but at least his cancer is in remission. He is quite the cutie and we need him (and “Dexter”) around for a long time.
“The Weary Kind” did win best song, but T Bone Burnett couldn’t find my new crush, Ryan Bingham. Was he in the “loo,” like Toni Collette was, way back when?
And everyone who won said they worked with the best people in the world and they have the best jobs in the world and it made me want to take their awards away. If you have the best job in the world, that should be reward enough.
In this lousy economy with countries falling apart, you don’t deserve major gift bags and free liquor at the table and fancy dresses and jewelry AND the best jobs in the world. Pick one.
Now let’s get to the arrival pics. These are all AP photos. Sorry, in advance, for any weird formatting issues.
By Gina Carbone
Sigourney Weaver is such a rock star. I love that she — and, it turns out, James Cameron — can poke fun at herself.
Weaver hosted “Saturday Night Live” on Jan. 16 and Andy Samberg made up for the lame Alicia Keys Digital Short last week with “Laser Cats 5.”
It was a cross between “Aliens,” “Terminator 2” and “Avatar” — plus a shot of “Titanic” when the band refused to leave the exploding room of hatched cats.
The skit started with James Cameron — as himself — walking into Lorne Michaels’ office to talk about pitching a skit for the show.
(First Michaels told him parts of “Avatar” reminded him of “Three Amigos.” “You noticed,” Cameron said, with a “Three Amigos” poster in the background. Michaels co-wrote the film.)
Michaels said he’d put the skit on the air, but then Andy Samberg and Bill Hader rolled in a little TV to show “Laser Cats 5,” starring Samberg, Hader, Fred Armisen as The Chief and Sigourney Weaver as Ripley.
(“Believe it or not.”)
There was even a love connection between Weaver and Hader, although it was spoiled by …. well, I won’t spoil it for you. Click here to watch it.
I actually enjoyed it more than “Avatar,” which could’ve used some cats, puke and time travel.
“This movie combined with ‘Avatar,’ could make a billion dollars,” Cameron told Michaels, which is true enough.
Can’t wait for “Laser Cats 6.”
SNL continued “Avatar” spoofing with “Avatar Chamber,” where Bill Hader (playing Jake Sully) got to have some awkward and sometimes painful virtual sex as Weaver, Armisen and an envious Jason Sudeikis (still my fave SNL cast member) looked on.
Weaver needs more comedic roles.
Case in point: Her reactions in “Internet Buzz” where a more narcissistic version of herself (I hope) reads online comments — the good, bad and ugly — during a Golden Globes party and threatens to punch an online hater in her “bitch mouth”!
It was actually a pretty raunchy show. She wondered if men (or women) would masturbate to some images of herself online and during her monologue she said when she watched “Aliens” she got so scared she peed for two hours straight.
I love her nasty humor. More! Stop giving Meryl Streep all of the good funny bitch roles. SigWeav is on the prowl.