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Would she marry him if he weren't heir to the throne? He's not exactly hot and he seems kinda dull. Harry, on the other hand...

Because people care. Sometimes even I care. Although it’s easy to care MUCH TOO MUCH. I’m not quite that into this wedding but … if Prince Harry ever gets married, I want to watch that one. He’s the cute one. But will he marry that Chelsy Davy girl?

Here’s a Royal Wedding guide, as copied wholesale from the lovely and amazing AOL TV Squad:

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27

‘Inside the Royal Wedding’ (8PM, NBC) — Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera host the preview special.

‘Biography: Kate Middleton’ (10PM, Bio) — The debut of the episode about Middleton’s real-life fairy tale.

‘Extreme Royal Collections’ (10PM, TLC) — Who better than the ‘Hoarders’ network folks to profile people who’ve amassed large collections of royal memorabilia?

THURSDAY, APRIL 28

‘Watch What Happens Live!: Royal Wedding Spectacular’ (11PM, Bravo) — The Countess, of course, LuAnn de Lesseps, helps Andy Cohen preview the big wedding.

FRIDAY, APRIL 29

Wedding Central Live Coverage (3AM) — It is the only network devoted to all things wedding 24/7, so it’s fitting that Wedding Central’s royal wedding coverage kicks off at the crazy early 3AM.

MSNBC Royal Wedding Coverage (3AM) — Martin Bashir helps MSNBC get a jump on the other networks with his 3AM appearance from London.

BBC America Royal Wedding Coverage (4AM) — British royal wedding coverage in a commercial-free, direct simulcast with BBC One in the U.K.

CNN Royal Wedding Coverage (4AM) — Anderson Cooper and Piers Morgan provide commentary for their cable network.

Fox News Royal Wedding Coverage (4AM) — Shepard Smith is live at Buckingham Palace.

‘Good Morning America’ (4AM, ABC) — Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters and Robin Roberts do play-by-play on ABC’s wedding coverage.

‘Live From the Royal Wedding’ (4AM, E!) — Giuliana Rancic hosts E!’s five hours of coverage, live from London.

‘Today’ (4AM, NBC) — Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Al Roker, Brian Williams and Ann Curry report live from London.

CBS Royal Wedding Coverage (5AM) — Katie Couric travels to London to anchor her network’s telecast of the nuptials.

‘The Royal Wedding — Live!’ (5AM, Reelz Channel) — Fours of coverage of the wedding, including British TV presenter Adrian Dickson reporting live from Westminster Abbey.

TLC’s Royal Wedding Event and Live Broadcast (5AM) — The network is broadcasting live event coverage, with PopEater’s own Rob Schuter emceeing the activities and singer Colbie Caillat singing her new hit ‘I Do’ live from Times Square in New York City.

‘Royal Wedding Highlights’ (7PM, Reelz Channel) — It’s the post-game show for the nuptials.

‘Will + Kate Forever’ (7PM, Wedding Central) — Perez Hilton (allegedly) cracks wise while unspooling highlights from the wedding.

‘Kathy Griffin’s Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding’ (8PM, TV Guide Network) — Jackie Collins is among the guests who’ll help the comedienne put the wedding hoopla in proper perspective.

‘The Royal Wedding: Modern Majesty’ (8PM, CBS) — Katie Couric presents CBS’ highlights-o’-the-day package.

‘Dateline’ (9PM, NBC) and ’20/20′ (9PM, ABC) — More wedding day wrap-ups.

‘Will and Kate: Road to the Altar’ (9PM, E!) — Ryan Seacrest hosts E!’s hourlong recap of the day’s best moments.

Turner Classic Movies Royal Wedding Movie Marathon (8PM, TCM) — If you’re still in a wedding mood after the real-life wedding, TCM is airing a five-movie marathon of royal wedding-themed flicks, including ‘Royal Wedding,’ ‘Roman Holiday,’ ‘The Glass Slipper,’ ‘The Swan’ and ‘The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg.’

‘Fashion Police Royal Wedding’ (10PM, E!) — Joan Rivers, Kelly Osbourne, George Kotsiopoulos and Giuliana Rancic dish on the day’s fashions.

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