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Is there a rabbit under that hat?

When Donald Trump said “I’m going to do something a little different tonight,” I expected him to say “The winner of The Celebrity Apprentice 2011 is John Rich … AND Marlee Matlin.”

I thought he’d pick both. What was different about just picking one of them?

*UPDATE* Thanks to the person who commented below for this explanation: “Regarding your question above, the difference was he chose not to fire the runner up, which he does in every season. He simply stated the winner. By contract with NBC he still has to choose a single winner.” *END UPDATE*

Of the two, he definitely picked the best. John was a strong leader throughout the competition, whereas Marlee occasionally deferred to others and just tried to keep her head down around all the drama on the women’s team.

John and Marlee both raised more than $1 million for their charities. He worked for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (a cause dear to the Trump family’s heart) and she for The Starkey Hearing Foundation.

It was cute seeing that kid say "mama" for the first time, when he was wearing a hearing aid.

Since both John and Marlee are nice and professional and actually respect each other — unlike, say, Joan Rivers and Annie Duke — it was a surprisingly kind and gentle finale, with Marlee only getting irritated when John dared to bring in about $250,000 during the 7-Up challenge to put himself over the $1 million mark. They even sang a song together “For the Kids.”

Marlee had a smooth 1970s retro 7-Up challenge featuring the Harlem Globetrotters. But it sounded like she wasn’t as organized at first, and both La Toya Jackson and Richard Hatch were initially waiting for her to delegate tasks. Her team’s 7-Up can wasn’t as dynamic as John’s team, and their commercial was cool but not as funny as John’s Twisted Sister spoof.

John Rich, on the other hand, seemed very organized with this 1980s Def Leppard task, except he didn’t welcome Trump and the 7-Up executives and he introduced Def Leppard 20 minutes before they were actually intending to perform. (*Ooops*) It was an awkward mistake, but he covered well by performing himself. John and Lil Jon (The Jonz!) were such an adorable team and a majority of the “Celebrity Apprentice” cast picked John Rich to win over Marlee.

The only real drama of the night was when Star Jones called out NeNe Leakes for going after all the black women on the show. She brought race into it, which just opened the wounds between the two of them.

Gary Busey also tried to explain his kite plan again, revealing that Omaha Steaks actually went with his kite idea and somehow added a tiny kite into their product. I still don’t get it, but there it is.

All told, I think it was a satisfying and positive ending for a strange and extremely dramatic season.

Congrats, Hot John!

Two out of three ain't bad.

After “The Celebrity Apprentice,” Meat Loaf needs to go on “The Bachelor.” He knows how to sob at the drop of a hat. He knows how to wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s ripe for the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.

I got your number, hussy.

NeNe Leakes is a quitter and a loser and she should be ashamed of herself for so many reasons, but mostly for giving up on her charity.

She should’ve been fired last week for having a tantrum in front of the client — never mind losing another challenge as project manager — but “Mr. Trump” has been making drama-related decisions since Week 1, so it’s no shock that he kept her. But now Star Jones gets to win their feud.

But not win the whole thing. No. Star just got fired. It was the wrong time to fire her — that time was a while ago —  but better late than never, I guess. Honestly, as much as I love her, it should’ve been Marlee Matlin who got fired.

The winner of this whole thing is either going to be John Rich or Marlee Matlin. 

John Rich has been impressing me for a while now and after he volunteered to match Meat Loaf’s money for The Painted Turtle, I melted. I didn’t cry like Meat did, but I melted.

Thankfully, Meat’s team did win the comedy challenge so John didn’t have to pay up.

The extended episode got out of control thanks to NeNe and Meat, but things have been crazy since Hope was fired and La Toya Jackson was brought back.

At the start of the ep, Trump re-shuffled the deck and moved NeNe from the women’s team to the men’s team. He did it because Star didn’t feel like she could work with NeNe. NeNe decided since Trump did what Star wanted, she couldn’t be on the show anymore. She quit. Good riddance.

Marlee, you showed zero leadership on a losing challenge. How did you completely escape blame?

Meat Loaf was moved to the women’s team, where he almost immediately began sobbing at the idea of raising money for his charity but only getting the money if they win. You know, like every other challenge on every season of “The Apprentice.”

In a rare good decision, Trump said Meat couldn’t just keep the money, win or lose. The show is about raising money for charity, but it’s even more about winning. (And it’s even more about drama, so Meat should’ve promised a huge fight if he got the dough. It would’ve been a fair promise, since he did have a fighter later on!)

At the end of the first part of the extended ep, La Toya was fired all over again. She’s the first person to be brought back and the first one to be fired twice. The point of her return still escapes me.

The second part of the episode was a rematch between the two heavyweights — John vs. Marlee. They were their teams’ project managers for the OnStar challenge.

John and Lil Jon are adorable and should have their own spinoff show. I heart them. But Trump clearly hearts Meat Loaf and he complimented Meat several times. (I’m surprised that didn’t push him into tears again.) Meat and Star seemed to clash during the task and Marlee took a backseat, which was probably a bad idea, even if it didn’t hurt her.

Even though The Jonz made an OnStar commercial featuring a woman who did NOT wear her seatbelt — a major faux pas for a safety company — they still won the challenge. Hot John won even more money for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. And Hot John is even in another OnStar commercial that just aired during the show. Nice.

The women + Meat Loaf made a commercial focused on the stereotype of cops loving doughnuts. Police officers don’t like that stereotype much and the executives didn’t like it either. (For the record, I love doughnuts and I’m not ashamed to admit it.)

The boardroom started as Marlee and Star vs. Meat and turned into Star vs. Meat. Poor Meat was ganged up on. Honestly, he probably should’ve been fired earlier in the night when he burst into tears and had to be talked down off the ledge.

Star and Meat fought over getting a particular “OnStar” shot in the commercial. Meat called her “sweetie” and Star got upset about it, as a professional woman in the middle of an argument. (Fair enough, actually, in that context.) Star was in charge of branding and Meat was in charge of the filming process. Funny how the fight was between these two and not Marlee, who was the project manager. Shouldn’t she be blamed since she was in charge of this mess?

I never thought I'd feel sorry for Star Jones, but this was the wrong time to fire her.

Star said you have to come with her credentials to have a debate with her. “Enough,” she said to Meat, trying to cut him off. Meat did not like that one bit: “How dare you cut me off, young woman!” Hee hee.

I love that whenever anyone fights, Marlee’s interpreter furiously interprets every word.

Back in the boardroom, the whole thing turned into a “sweetie” debate, which ticked Trump off, since he’s so anti-PC. Then things turned against Star, which is bizarre since there have been so many opportunities to fire Star and they picked the most random one. It should’ve been Marlee first or Meat Loaf second.

But the final four are John, Lil Jon, Marlee and Meat Loaf. I’m surprised to see Meat “Anger Management MY ASS” Loaf still there. And Marlee really dodged a bullet this week. John Rich will win. He has to.

Catch up on my “Celebrity Apprentice” stories in this nifty archive.

Everyone vs. La Toya! She's got your number, hussy.

Coming up: NeNe Leakes vs. Star Jones. Anyone else just rooting for the “vs”?

Out of curiosity, has NeNe ever met NeNe? She doesn’t get along with anyone, not for more than a few minutes.

Poor La Toya Jackson did not deserve to be fired. Donald Trump made another bad call in thinking that the women’s team would be stronger without La Toya — rather than firing the project manager, Star Jones. La Toya and NeNe both called Star “evil,” which may be pushing it, but she should’ve taken responsibility for her actions.

At the start of “The Celebrity Apprentice” Episode 8: “Bitter Suites,” NeNe was still upset at poor La Toya for telling Trump she would keep in touch will all of the ladies after the show — except for NeNe.

NeNe insisted she’s not a negative person (weirdly enough, Star agreed) and she can’t imagine what she did to La Toya to deserve that. Clearly she’s already forgotten the Australian Gold challenge when, in a koala suit, she told Trump’s son that La Toya was doing a crap job as project manager. La Toya ended up winning the task, despite NeNe’s negativity. But then NeNe refused to apologize to La Toya in the boardroom or admit to Trump that she did a good job.

Dang, NeNe is tall.

But since La Toya was honest in her answer to Trump’s question about which ladies she would keep in touch with, NeNe flipped out in front of the other ladies of A.S.A.P.

As NeNe so memorably put it: “It’s very difficult for somebody like me to work with fake women. I’m very real.” And yet she was mad that La Toya was real to Trump. Only NeNe is allowed to be real.

La Toya dealt with it very well, bringing up how the ladies keep rolling their eyes about her behind her back (TRUE). She complimented NeNe and hugged her. Very well played. La Toya and NeNe are now acting like besties.

This week, the teams had to create a four-page advertising campaign for the Trump Hotel Collection. So now we can add shameless self-promotion to shameless nepotism.

Star Jones asked to be the project manager for the women. John Rich kind of became the project manager for the men by default. Star has stayed at several of Trump’s hotels. John has not.

Does John ever take off the hat?

Star delegated different photo shoots to the other four ladies and La Toya felt like Star was positioning herself to avoid blame. (La Toya is extremely paranoid, but she’s occasionally right to be.) NeNe also felt Star was using some strategy.

Star felt like La Toya was pretty useless. Poor La Toya is getting the Lisa Rinna treatment when she’s clearly more competent in projects and handles personalty conflicts better than anyone else on her team.

At one point during Hope’s bathtub photo shoot, Star tried to (micro?)manage and she got into it with NeNe. Definitely a taste of things to come.

John seemed to struggle with the Backbone concept, but he, Meat Loaf and Lil Jon get along and work well together. However, Meat somehow slid into the role of Gary Busey 2.0. John said Meat Loaf is like a riddle wrapped in an enigma. Just when you think it’s safe to go back in the rainbow…

La Toya thought the women’s concept had been seen before. Nothing new. The men focused a lot of time on proofreading. They don’t have spell-check?

The guys had a fun presentation that included some clever Trump ass-kissing. Is that the food guy from “Top Chef”? James Oseland? I missed the names. I recognize him. The women shouted out a bunch of individual words like “extravagance” and “luxury.” I’m with La Toya: “Corny!” By the way, I like her voice when it’s raspy like this.

The food guy really ripped apart the women’s brochure as something you’d see on a flyer for a strip club. Plus, Hope was wearing a towel in the bathtub and her champagne bottle was still corked. However, the men STILL had misspellings in their brochure and they didn’t have a lot of meat inside it. No phone number or website at all? Wow. It doesn’t sound like the two hotel guys were very impressed with either team. Food guy called it “more of a car wreck than an ad campaign.”

There was no real “winner,” so it came down to a lesser of two evils. Fire everyone! Then stop making yourselves the clients!

In the boardroom, La Toya said everyone worked well together. Hope said Star did an amazing job and Star is the most impressive member of the team. NeNe said the strongest member of the team is Marlee. (TRUE)

Trump felt NeNe was holding back her true feelings, so she really let loose. She talked about the negativity they went through with the “phoniness.” Then, for no good reason at all, she said a couple of the women were crawling up Star’s ass. Trump decided to add that that’s easier now that Star has lost a lot of weight.

(Classy. This is the boss? Does he have any new comments about Lisa Rinna’s lips?)

NeNe singled out Hope and Marlee as crawling up Star’s ass. There is no way in hell I would “hire” someone as consistently negative as NeNe.

Both teams sucked but the women’s list of bad things was called a “Greek tragedy.” Their brochure was a cluttered eyesore. Even though the men didn’t even include a website or phone number, the men still won over the women. That’s bad.

So, as the “winning” project manager, John Rich got $20,000 for St. Jude’s. Didn’t Donald Trump just get into a kerfuffle with Jerry Seinfeld because Seinfeld backed out of Trump’s St. Jude’s fund-raiser? Is that a hint that John Rich wins this puppy? Not that we needed more hints that he makes the finals. That’s a given.

The women lost and Star was the project manager but she said she should “definitely not” be fired. So she’s not going to follow the Niki Taylor/Mark McGrath path.

Star is a control freak and she controlled a train wreck campaign. She was the project manager. It's obvious that she should be fired.

NeNe couldn’t answer Trump’s direct question of whom he should fire. He should’ve fired her right there for that.

La Toya said to fire Star. Marlee threw a curve ball and said Trump should fire La Toya, not based on this task but because collectively La Toya is the weakest. (By that rationale, Gary should’ve been fired weeks and weeks ago.) Trump’s son VERY WISELY said that Hope was just as weak as La Toya in projects.

However — and no one brought this up — La Toya and Hope have both won past projects for the team. So has Star. So has Marlee. NeNe has not.

Star chose NeNe and La Toya to bring back into the boardroom. Once again, Trump proved he’s out of it by saying he’s surprised — because he thinks NeNe has been doing a good job so far. Really?

Star said she picked NeNe basically so she had some backup when it came to piling on poor La Toya.

La Toya is not that weak. Her voice is weak this week, but she has been called the best of her team several times. She is the strongest of the three in the boardroom. She’s actually a better hire than Trump himself, who can’t stop interrupting people.

Star actually brought up the La Toya/NeNe fight in her own defense, which is odd. La Toya should’ve brought up Star’s overbearing attitude before getting into the boardroom, but it’s a fair point that someone as strong as Star should be held responsible for her team’s actions.

NeNe should’ve told Trump to fire Star. It’s true that Star is a bigger long-term threat than La Toya. It’s in NeNe’s interests to be the strongest person on her team as they approach the finale.

Trump fired La Toya and I’m thinking it was just because Star and NeNe are so good for drama, as we’ll see next week…

*

Catch up on my “Celebrity Apprentice” recaps here.

Here’s the cast, in order of my preference:

* John Rich
* Lil Jon
* Marlee Malin
* Meat Loaf
* Hope Dworaczyk
* NeNe Leakes
* Star Jones
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND
* Niki Taylor — ELIMINATED 3RD
* Dionne Warwick — ELIMINATED 4TH
* Jose Canseco — ELIMINATED HIMSELF (QUIT) 5TH
* Richard Hatch — ELIMINATED 6TH
* Mark McGrath — ELIMINATED 7TH
* Gary Busey — ELIMINATED 8TH
* La Toya Jackson — ELIMINATED 9TH

Pay no attention to any man without a cowboy hat.

We all have one. Someone who just rubs us the wrong way.

Person X can say something and it’s fine. But if Person Y says the same exact thing, you lose it. Suddenly you’re raving things like “I BOUGHT THOSE MOTHERF–KING SPONGES!!!!” even though you’re a grown man in a room of other grown men, working on an art project to raise money for charity. And the whole thing is being filmed.

Girl power?

Poor Meat Loaf. It may be time for more “anger management.” But I can’t blame him too much. Gary Busey is … let’s go with “an acquired taste.” If he started coming after me with all those s-p-e-l-l-e-d o-u-t w-o-r-d-s and stuff about dancing on rainbows or whatever — I’d lose it, too.

As John Rich put it, “Gary Busey is kind of like a one-legged cat trying to bury a turtle in a frozen pond.” That makes no sense to me, but I agree. (Did he say “turd” or “turtle”? I like both.)

Speaking of John Rich, how awesome was he on “The Celebrity Apprentice” Episode 5 “The Art Of The Deal”? I want him, Marlee Matlin and Mark McGrath in the finals.

John and Marlee Matlin were the project managers for an art show challenge. They all made pieces of “art” and sold them to family, friends and anyone else with money. Everyone had to create baseball caps and an artist/”Sopranos” actor deemed La Toya Jackson’s hat the best.

Both teams did incredibly well. Trump said they’ve never raised this much money in a season before. He was so impressed, he offered a deal: If both project managers agreed, the losing team would keep the money for his or her charity. Trump wouldn’t have gone for it, but they both went for it. Then they got the numbers: Backbone raised $626,908. The ladies’ team, A.S.A.P., raised $986,000 for an all-time “Apprentice” record. Even Marlee’s interpreter cried! Trump gave Marlee’s charity, The Starkey Hearing Foundation, the extra $14,000 to get to $1 million.

Now they can hang out together...

Trump made another deal — since at that point Jose Canseco had already quit (see below), it was Marlee’s choice whether Trump fired one of the men or not. She decided he should fire someone, because it’s business and the women had lost so many challenges, it was time for the men to feel the pain.

Richard Hatch had raised the least amount of money. But when Trump asked the men about the weakest player, going forward, everyone said Gary. They know that Trump loves “brilliant” Gary but, as my boy Mark put it, passion and focus are not the same things. Marlee defended Gary, which was nice of her, but she doesn’t have to work with him. Marlee wanted Trump to fire Hatch.

It came down to money. Hatch was fired. Poor guy. He didn’t even get a chance to defend himself, which is his strong suit. Too much time was spent on Gary’s ramblings.

Marlee may have won the challenge, but she didn’t have to deal with behind-the-scenes drama this week. John Rich did. John won, in my opinion, for helping his idiot boys keep some perspective. More than anyone, John has his head in the right part of the game. It’s not about kissing Trump’s arse. It’s not about doing as little as possible while getting to the end. It’s not about being crazy. It’s not even about winning. It’s about raising money for charity.

John said the only reason he’s on this show is to raise more money than anyone else for his charity, St. Jude’s. He guaranteed $500,000 from his “hillbillies” and he demanded his fellow men of Backbone also raise something. Unless they are “all hat and no cattle.”

Apparently Jose Canseco is all hat and no cattle.Yes, I’m evil. I don’t doubt that his father is sick with cancer, and I wish him the best. But the timing is more than suspicious. Jose didn’t raise any money in the pizza challenge and he thought it wouldn’t be possible to raise money for this challenge either (but WHY?) so he went to the principal’s office and told Trump his father was sick so he had to go home. Why can’t Jose raise money? And why would he go on the show if he couldn’t raise money? Anyway, Jose left the show. He quit. No more dressing in drag.

At least Richard Hatch stuck around and sold his painting for $1,000. It wasn’t much, but a guy fresh out of prison, famous for a show that aired 10 years ago, probably isn’t going to raise as much as, say, La Toya Jackson.

What happened to this love, from the last episode?

I’ll talk about the women eventually, but I have to discuss the Meat Loaf vs. Gary incident. It seems to have started in the supply store.

Gary asked Meat if he was buying Gary’s things. He said it in a way that bothered Meat. Meat feels Gary has an air of entitlement about him. (That’s what happens when people like Trump call you a “genius” even though you’re just babbling nonsense 90 percent of the time.)

My boy Mark tried to talk Meat down off the ledge and hold back the anger, but Gary has a way of bringing out the crazy in others. So when they got back into the work room and Meat couldn’t find his bag of art supplies, he assumed that Gary had stolen his paint and sponges and passed them off as his own.

He went off. Like I’ve never seen. So many f-bombs and motherf-bombs. You’d never know it was about art supplies — especially when it turns out (oops!) that Meat’s bag was just hiding under a table. Gary, to his credit, just stood his ground and let Meat rant. He didn’t engage, but he didn’t run either.

Mark and Meat appear to be close and Mark tried to hold Meat back. Meanwhile, project manager John talked to Gary and tried to keep him away from Meat. Later, John told Meat that kind of language and energy were embarrassing. They were there for charity. He basically told the guy to man up.

I agree. Meat agreed too, apologizing to Gary and saying he was embarrassed. Gary blathered on something about rainbows and he spelled out a word and the whole time I was cringing, because I thought it might set Meat off again.

But they moved on. The guys had their art show up way before the women, who were stuck in Friday night New York traffic. But since La Toya Jackson offered up a Michael Jackson T-shirt, they had some solid stuff to sell. Jill Zarin of “Real Housewives of New York” and Jason Taylor, one of my favorites from “Dancing with the Stars,” showed up to support the ladies.

But the guys had country power and people with enough money to buy a guitar for something like $450,000. That’s especially interesting considering the Michael Jackson shirt sold for $99,000.

But in the end, the women outraised the men — by a lot. Hatch was on the chopping block for not raising enough money, but Gary was named the weakest link in terms of focus. Money ruled. Based on the previews I’d say that was a bad call. We’re due for Gary vs. All the Guys and NeNe vs. La Toya.

By the way, who is Hope and why is she still there?

*

Here’s the cast, in order of my preference:

* Mark McGrath
* John Rich
* Lil Jon
* Marlee Malin
* Meat Loaf
* La Toya Jackson
* NeNe Leakes
* Gary Busey
* Hope Dworaczyk (Who?)
* Star Jones
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND
* Niki Taylor — ELIMINATED 3RD
* Dionne Warwick — ELIMINATED 4TH
* Jose Canseco — ELIMINATED HIMSELF (QUIT) 5TH
* Richard Hatch — ELIMINATED 6TH

Read my “Celebrity Apprentice” recaps here.

I'm frightened of Gary Busey. He's goofy-funny in some ways, but when he gets out his crazy person growl, I worry. Why is Donald Trump so in love with him? Are they related? They both have bad hair...

God love Gary Busey, but what on Earth is he babbling about?

On “Celebrity Apprentice” episode three, “Unhappy Campers,” the laughably un-outdoorsy teams had to put on an interactive outdoor experience to promote Camping World. This is funny to me for many reasons, mostly for the idea that Donald Trump could ever really rough it in an RV.

It was also funny for Gary Busey’s introduction to the challenge boss, Marcus Lemonis of Camping World: “I know nothing’s free, but my heart to your heart is free.” (?)

How sane is Star? And how valuable is Dionne? Oh you're much too generous!

Gary always gives good, if inexplicable, value. What did he say about creating definitions for words from the letters in the words? Ivanka is right: You can’t say you’ve ever worked with someone like Gary because there are no others.

And THANK GOD for it.

Gary and Niki Taylor were the project managers. Gary is a human train wreck, but he is his team’s #1 train wreck. Other than Gary (and, to some extent, Jose Canseco’s Negative Nelly attitude), the men of Backbone are very good and want their team to win.

Niki, on the other hand, had to battle the additional challenge of Star Jones insisting she’s the only one who knows how to do anything … while insisting she won’t be taking charge. Then there’s Dionne Warwick, a patronizing naysayer who looks for fault in others while doing nothing helpful herself.

Gary and Lil Jon did not get along. Or, as Gary growled, “Lil Jon turned out to be an antagonist to me.” (Run, Lil Jon!)

Jose also decided he was against everyone and everything that was suggested. As my boy Mark McGrath put it, “I feel like you have an opinion and it’s very strong but it’s not necessarily right.” YES.

Jose didn’t want a charming little country song to go along with their RV challenge. And then Richard Hatch called country “backward” and for the “less educated.” John Rich made a huge fuss, which he kind of had to do since his own reputation was on the line. He has to represent country music fans, aka “my audience.”

Thankfully, Backbone has my boy Mark. John called him a “panicker” but I see someone actually focused on the task at hand. And I’d panic, too, if I saw Gary and Jose just sitting around during a challenge. Then playing catch. Mark seems to be the men’s saving grace — especially when Gary loves “mistakes” because they lead you figure things out another way, or something. Love Mark for taping the ball game to show at the boardroom. My boy is wicked smahhht!

I love Marlee's interpreter. I wonder what he thinks about all of this.

In short, this challenge was the ladies’ to lose. I thought Gary had set the fail bar too high, but the ladies couldn’t work together enough to get a good thing going. And The Men Minus Gary were great, even with Meat Loaf’s little presentation gaffe.

Really, Gary and Star should have their own team and name it Delusional. Star wants to be known as someone who solves problems instead of creating problems, then goes right ahead and slashes the metaphorical tires of everyone on her team. (Remember when Star said she wanted to show that women could work together? Every day is Opposite Day with Star!)

Niki decided her best strategy was to bond with fellow model Hope “Who The Hell is This Chick?” Dworaczyk. At least she would have someone on her side. She also assigned the rest of the A.S.A.P. ladies to design portions of the set-up. Good. Keep them busy.

But while she was at the printers, she got a call from Star asking for clarification about her “vision.” “Vision” has become the new code for “I’m going to bring this up at the boardroom.” Star overcomplicates everything. Because she’s looking for ways to help others fail. Because she’s a bully. No one deserves a Star working against them, especially when Dionne is right there helping her find fault.

Niki made the mistake of playing nice and saying the ladies all got along. She’s a cheerleader. She said if they lost she should go home. Marlee, on the other hand, sold out Dionne — but only to a point. Not nearly enough. And wasn’t Dionne the one who was paying her bills during the challenge? What is she doing there, by the way? Did she think because Joan Rivers won, that anyone of any age could do this? Maybe it’s true, but you have to show up and WORK not just putter around and do the bare minimum.

I wish The Donald would let people speak in the boardroom instead of interrupting them. He doesn’t seem to know what really goes on, but he rarely lets people finish their thoughts. But Marlee and Niki had the opportunity to explain Dionne’s passive-aggression and they decided to just play it safe.

Trump loves “genius” Gary. Why? Who knows. Gary says he was legally deaf and now has two hearing aids and can hear his own toenails grow. But the hearing aids haven’t checked the crazy. The crazy doesn’t wait for sound. Mark should’ve mentioned how Gary and Jose were playing catch and sitting around when they should’ve been working. Why is no one spilling the beans?

In the end, John Rich and my boy Mark held their team together and led the men to a win. Niki did herself no favors with her martyrdom cheerleading and, for that, she deserved to go home. She had a classy exit, but it was an unnecessary one. Since Dionne never should’ve been there to begin with, she was my #1 pick to be fired. Get. Rid. Of. Her. Now.

ASSESSMENT

Right now I like Mark, John, Lil Jon and Meal Loaf on the men’s side — in that order — and Marlee and La Toya on the women’s side.

Here’s the cast, in order of my preference:

* Mark McGrath
* John Rich
* Marlee Matlin
*  Lil Jon
* Meat Loaf
* La Toya Jackson
* Hope Dworaczyk (Who?)
* Richard Hatch
* NeNe Leakes
* Gary Busey
* Jose Canseco
* Star Jones
* Dionne Warwick
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND
* Niki Taylor — ELIMINATED 3RD

***

Read my “Celebrity Apprentice” stories here.

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