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Good for her. Although, she should probably be the one eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups right now, not me.

I wasn’t even planning to care about the Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG is such a depressing acronym), but then I saw Jennifer Carpenter in this dress.

Love this dress. Love it. Love her hair, too. Love that the shoes are staying out of it. A fan.

He was there too, but they didn't pose together. He looks ... not hot. Is the facial hair necessary for a role?

So now I have to ask: What’s up with her and Michael C. Hall? I have a history of caring too much about this couple and I’ve tried to be good but I’m afraid I’ve been sucked back in.

I believe the “Dexter” couple’s divorce was finalized in December, but I read that they were out on a candlelit date and even kissed — and “the next morning” they were spotted having coffee. That was maybe two weeks ago.

I also saw this blind item via

“Which Golden Globe-winning TV star’s short-lived marriage ended because he couldn’t curb his sex add*ction? The twice-mar­ried hunk was attending 12-step meetings to cure his cravings, but when he relapsed, his actress wife told him to hit the road!”

Everyone thinks that’s MCH. So is he a sex addict? Is that his marriage issue? Both times? Are he and Jennifer trying again anyway? What is the deal? And how can I stop caring? Is there a 12-step program for me?


If he's still into tall brunettes, I may have a shot. That's what I'm going with, anyway, and I don't want to hear otherwise.

This is it. This is my shot. Fingers crossed, I’m on the short list to be Michael C. Hall’s Wife #3.

Here's Michael (does he ever go by Mike?) and Amy.

I’ve loved him since he played uber-hot David Fisher on “Six Feet Under.” And by “uber-hot” I mean “adorably repressed gay undertaker.”

He was married to stage actress Amy Spanger from 2002 – 2006.

I felt betrayed when he married Wife #2, Jennifer Carpenter, because she’s a fellow tall brunette, but a younger and thinner one. SLAP!

(He’s 39. I’m 34. She just turned 31 on December 7. Happy birthday, eh?)

But now that she’s exiting stage left I can finally admit I think she’s amazing on “Dexter.” She probably deserves an Emmy for the underrated and underappreciated Debra Morgan.

They were married on Dec. 31, 2008 and new reports are saying they’ve been separated for a while.


He's so put-upon. Why do I love when they're put-upon?

To quote Access Hollywood’s report about the split:

A source tells Access that, according to a person very close to the production, the real life husband and wife, who play brother and sister Dexter & Deborah Morgan on the hit Showtime show, haven’t been getting along on set all season and that it’s widely known an official separation announcement is imminent.

In fact, Access’ source was told that Carpenter was going around the set talking about the couple’s problems during the course of the show’s production.

Additionally, our source was informed that Hall, Carpenter and the rest of the show’s cast are very worried about how the two of them are going to work as closely together on set next season as they’re usually required to do.

“Dexter” held its fifth season finale party in New York Sunday night –Carpenter was present, but Hall was not.


TMZ says she’s the one filing for divorce. She seemed very supportive as he battled Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but maybe he’s too focused on his work? Or … is he … uh … not that into women? Or is he too into women and cheating? Did he and “Dexter” co-star Julia Stiles get too close? He does seem to fall for his co-stars.


Ted Casablanca of E! has a blind vice about Michael C. Hall and I wonder if it has anything to do with his marriage issues.

Dear Ted:
Hope you enjoyed your vacation. So glad to have you back and bitchy as ever! My question is about Michael C. Hall, the fabulous Dexter. He seems very clean, but has he ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Dex the Halls:
Yes. Should we have put him in our Blind Vice Gallery?

Dear Ted:
So Michael C. Hall has secrets? Not too surprising, but I’m so curious to know what they are! Maybe we will see a Blind Vice in the future? Pretty please?

Dear Backward:
Future? Hon-pie, he’s already been one.

Dear Ted
I’ve started to get into Dexter recently (great show!) and I have completely fallen for Michael C. Hall! There is just something about him that I find so sexy! My question is does he have any Vicey habits? What about he and his wife? Are they a normal couple like they seem?

Dear Killer Instinct:
Yep, Michael has been a BV. But when his TV alter ego’s Vice is, uh, being a serial killer does any naughty habits he’s up to between takes even compare?


So what is that about? Which Vice is he? Do I care? I guess I do. Not like I have a huge shot at being Wife #3. But for some reason it matters when a celeb is married or not.

Besides, whatever bad Blind Vice he has may be made up for by this revealed good Blind Item. Heart!

Anyway, why do you think the divorce news came out EXACTLY ONE DAY after the “Dexter” season 5 finale? How long have they been apart, waiting so the breakup news didn’t trump the dramatic finale to a show where MCH is an executive producer?

Dexter and Daddy pose in a shot of muted colors — fitting with the slow pace of the season premiere.

My favorite part has to be the subtle “Six Feet Under” homage:

Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) walks into a funeral parlor, marveling at how the funeral director can so smoothly say “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Dexter: “How does he do that? He sounds like he actually means it.”

Oh David Fisher. I still miss you.

The “Dexter” season 5 premiere, “My Bad,” just aired on Showtime. (I almost wrote “HBO,” just like John Lithgow!) It’s quiet and somber and, like most good funerals, ends with a death. I’m looking forward to more action and suspense, but I’m fine if both Dexter and “Dexter” take it slow. For now.

Season 5 picks up right where season 4 leaves off. Rita is in the tub. Dexter is on the front lawn telling his sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) and a bunch of cops, “It was me.”

It’s just the kind of frustratingly vague thing Dexter loves to say to (sometimes inadvertently) mess with people. It’s amazing how much leeway everyone gives him.

Anyway, it’s good to see Julie Benz again as Rita. We see her — sweet, innocent Rita — in a flashback on her first date with Dexter. She’s eager to talk to him about his work or anything else. But not only does he keep her waiting, sitting there alone at the restaurant for so long, he spends the date looking at a mark sitting behind her, and leaves when the guy walks out. Then lies to Rita, saying he had a stomach bug.

Same old Dexter: Rita has always been second — at best — on the list of things to do. And when he finally gets around to dealing with her, it’s with lies.

She did deserve better.

At least she finally learns the truth that he’s a serial killer — when he announces it to her casket. So now dead Rita joins the list of the departed who know Dexter’s secret and baby Harrison remains the only living soul to hear the truth.

But Astor (Christina Robinson) seems to be suspicious of Dexter, in some way. I’m having trouble buying that.

Astor, Cody (Preston Bailey) and the grandparents reacted a little too quickly to the news of Rita’s death and Astor was much too quick to blame Dexter and start crying. It felt false. You don’t go Disneyland happiness to “I blame you” anger in two seconds.

Also on the list of people not sure about Dexter: Joey Quinn (who is now sleeping with Deb; it was only a matter of time).

Quinn (Desmond Harrington) is as overly (spray?) tanned as ever. And he is onto Dexter. Sort of. He’s suspicious. (Then again, doesn’t Dex still have some ammunition to throw back at Quinn — the money that Quinn took from a crime scene?)

Usually Dex can weasel his way out of these things, but even Deb is noticing his odd reaction to the Rita news.

Dex is so blank and lifeless, it’s hard to feel for him. Usually the voice-overs are good about getting us into his head, but for the first half of the episode his mind is blank, too. He’s not sure how to even mimic human emotions.

I was wondering if he would show guilt or grief or anything. He does, in his way, with dead Rita and little Harrison. (I worry for that kid.)

Strangely enough, even with this lack of overt emotion, it’s never been hard to root for Dexter. He goes after bad guys and always narrowly escapes. Because we see things from his point of view, it’s natural to get nervous for him and want him to find his umpteenth way out.

But now that Dexter’s not the secret(ly sadistic) superhero, and an innocent woman is dead because of him, I’m finding it hard to get my bearings with him. I want to shake him into some kind of action. If not fury, then at least fear and panic over how to cover his tracks.

At least by the second half of the premiere he’s doing something — deleting files to erase traces of himself … and then killing.

It’s sick to see Dexter stab someone half a dozen times and think “That’s the first human thing I’ve seen you do since she died, Dexter” but that’s exactly the response. The ghost of Dexter’s father, Harry, says the words, but the violent physical response unleashes a torrent of emotions — primal screaming as he’s covered in blood, like when he was as a baby at the crime scene that birthed his Dark Passenger — and it’s actually good to see the torment after so much emptiness.

So it looks, from the extended previews, like season 5 is going to be Dexter vs. Quinn. I hope this ends with both of them alive, since I do like them both. Or, I find them both interesting.

Also interesting: Debra Morgan.

Deb takes a lot of heat for her mouth and her emotional outbursts, but Jennifer Carpenter doesn’t get half as much credit as she deserves. Her Deb is the yin to Dexter’s yang. And if her husband is going to get kudos for his subtlety, she shouldn’t be penalized for her character’s natural volatility. I have a feeling Deb is going to be the heart of this season, whether she wants that or not.


Catch up on my “Dexter” archive here.

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