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Here's Jason, gracing us with the original Mesnick. This is how I feel about the current Jake-is-everywhere situation.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

My TV just filed a restraining order against Jake Pavelka.

 

Here's Jake's Mesnick. He's not even leaning into the railing. Appalling lack of commitment.

“Bachelor Pad” was originally supposed to have 20 people, but the official cast list left it at 19.

Why? Were they perhaps waiting for Jake to end his “relationship” with Vienna Girardi? Looks like it to me.

It was just announced that Jake will drop into the “Bachelor Pad,” which is currently filming and will premiere Monday, Aug. 9 on ABC.

I don’t care if “drop into” just means he stops by for five more seconds of air time. It’s five more seconds than I want.

So, I’m sorry, but the label “fame whore” is all too appropriate. This whole charade makes me want to pull a Mesnick.

Make. It. Stop.

***

For all kinds of “Bachelorette” news, spoilers, top 10 lists, fashion face-offs and various general “stuff” visit BacheloretteFans.com.

Catch up on my own nifty Bachelor/Bachelorette archive here.

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One crazy blonde is as good (or bad) as another.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

So I guess they ran out of methods for mutual self-promotion. Except for this one last way to get headlines: Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi are no longer together.

They met on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” danced on “Dancing with the Stars” and milked their fame on “Extra” and “Drop Dead Diva” and whatever else they did that I’ve gone out of my way to ignore.

Tenley Molzahn is busy sort of flirting with Kiptyn Locke (major upgrade from Jake), Gia Allemand is back with her ex-boyfriend and Ali Fedotowsky has a bunch of other guys to deal with.

So Jake is pretty much stuck with … Kate Gosselin? Hey, they are both overly intense and earnest and seemed to get along well on DWTS. Why not? And if they start dating now, it will save us the trouble of ever dealing with Kate on her own *special* season of “The Bachelorette.”

***

Read a stupid amount of Bachelor/Bachelorette news & gossip here at BacheloretteFans.com. And catch up on my personal thoughts here at my own nifty Bachelor blog archive.

Jake and Chelsie practice their romantic Viennese waltz...as real dancer Tenley Molzahn quietly seethes with jealousy. You know Vienna Girardi is probably already flirting with whoever sits next to her in the ABC studio.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

“Dancing with the Stars” isn’t exactly “So You Think You Can Dance” — think way more sequins and way less talent.

(Think zero talent and you won’t leave disappointed.)

But any show that gives an extra 15 minutes to Crazy Cloris Leachman and introduces Gilles Marini’s chest to prime time gets a spot on Gina’s Must Watch list.

And that’s even before the arrival of Jake Pavelka of “The Bachelor” and his No. 1 blonde squeeze Chelsie Hightower Tanya Douglas Vienna Girardi.

(Jake tweeted earlier today that Gia Allemand will be in the audience tonight with Vienna.)

Tonight, Jake and Chelsie will supposedly dance a Viennese waltz to Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose.”

The Viennese waltz is a snore, but five of the pairs will be doing it, for some reason, on opening night. (Seriously, five waltzes on opening night? You want us to WATCH the show, right?)

Maybe Nicole will actually be too stiff for DWTS. Loosen up her buttons, Derek!

Six others will actually do something interesting: The cha-cha-cha.

No idea how Sexy Nicole Scherzinger and even Sexier Derek Hough got stuck with ballroom instead of Latin, but I’m sure there is a grand design … that misses the point of getting people hooked early on in the season.

Please consider the train wreck potential of tonight’s liiiiiiive! broadcast of DWTS season 10, from 8 to 10 p.m. on ABC.

Yes, in “The Bachelor” timeslot. I know you’ve kept it open.

And then return here around 10:30 p.m. ET or thereafter to read my thoughts on the show.

Unfortunately no one will be eliminated this week, so we’ll just have to suffer through enjoy the process and wait for next week to take a moment and say our goodbyes to one of these 11 “stars” and their more attractive pro partners:

* BUZZ ALDRIN, legendary astronaut, partners up with ASHLY COSTA (formerly DelGrosso), who returns for her fourth season.

* PAMELA ANDERSON, actress and model, joins professional dancer DAMIAN WHITEWOOD, who makes his “Dancing with the Stars” debut this season.

* ERIN ANDREWS, ESPN host, teams with MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY, who returns for his eighth season.

* SHANNEN DOHERTY, actress, teams up with two-time “Dancing with the Stars” champ MARK BALLAS, who returns for his sixth season.

* KATE GOSSELIN, TLC star, teams with TONY DOVOLANI, who returns for his ninth season.

* EVAN LYSACEK, Olympic figure skating champion, teams with ANNA TREBUNSKAYA, who returns for her fifth season.

* NIECY NASH, comedienne and host, teams up with LOUIS VAN AMSTEL, who returns for his sixth season

* CHAD OCHOCINCO, NFL Star, teams up with two-time champion CHERYL BURKE, who returns for her ninth season.

* JAKE PAVELKA, “The Bachelor” star, joins CHELSIE HIGHTOWER, who returns for her third season.

* NICOLE SCHERZINGER, pop star, teams with Season 7 champ DEREK HOUGH, who returns for his sixth season.

* AIDEN TURNER, soap star, teams with EDYTA SLIWINSKA, who is the only pro to compete in all 10 seasons of “Dancing with the Stars.”

My money is still on The Hottie Hough and his Pussycat to win.

More notes from the original ABC press release:

In week two, all of the couples will return and try to outshine each other once again in a two-hour show, MONDAY, MARCH 29 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET). The couple with the lowest combined judges’ scores and public votes for both performances will be sent home on TUESDAY, MARCH 30 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) in the season premiere of “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show.”

Viewers may cast their votes for their favorite teams via phone on Monday night during and up to 30 minutes after the “Dancing with the Stars” performance shows. AT&T customers may also text message their votes by texting the word “VOTE” and entering the number that corresponds to the team they want to support (message and data rates may apply). Viewers may also vote online at http://www.abc.com starting from the opening of each episode on the East Coast and until 12:00 Noon, ET the following day.

Read my pre-season interview with host Tom Bergeron here.

He was a DJ in Portsmouth, N.H., and he’s still good about supporting local stuff. But I think he’s jealous that his new co-host, Brooke Burke, is kicking his ass on Twitter followers.

I think I'm allergic to this photo.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Did you know Jake Pavelka has an official Web site, an official blog, an official Twitter and an official Facebook page?

You’d think among the group there’d be a few exciting comments, but Jake is known for his gorgeous abs, not his sparkling insights.

(But he did reveal he likes an 800 clean calorie breakfast, including  “Oatmeal, Eggs, Almond butter, Spark by advocare, Banana, Blueberries all blended together.”)

He unleashed his first blog post on March 9, but I must’ve been in the corner of a bog that day because I’m just finding it now.

(Interesting sidenote: I found it by going to Vienna Girardi’s Twitter page to find out if she really said she thought Gia Allemand would be a better choice for “The Bachelorette” than Ali Fedotowsky. She sort of did, but sort of didn’t. She wrote “@AliThompson08 I can’t tell you how much I agree. @giaallemand would have been the best bachelorette!”)

Jake unleashed a second blog post on March 18 and promised more soon.

In his March 18 post he discussed re-meeting Vienna’s parents:

Vienna and I went to Florida this past weekend to visit her parents. I haven’t seen them since the filming of The Bachelor in November. Her family is great! We really had a good time dodging paparazzi…”

He gave a nod to our favorite tabloid:

“Oh… Its crazy. US Weekly interviewed my dry cleaners… LOL! Thats just great! Now all of America knows I like light starch.”

He talked about how tough it is training for “Dancing with the Stars”:

“I’m not a whoow-as-me type guy, and not pulling a sympathy card, but this dance stuff everyday is rough on your body. I don’t know how Chelsie does it. I have 2 blisters on my feet. 3 pulled muscles in my back, and I don’t sleep a whole lot thinking of the competition coming up. But when you get right down to it. Everyday we are in the studio for 5-6 hours, at least, there’s been dramatic improvement everyday.”

(I’m going to start calling it “whoow-as-me” from now on, too.)

He talked a bit more about Chelsie Hightower:

Chelsie is a pretty hardcore dance instructor and she knows her stuff cold! . I’ve really been having a great time. So far we have run through 5 of the possible dances for this season.”

He will also respond to fan feedback:

“My blogs will start to happen more frequently and will definetly get one written before the DWTS premier this Monday Night on ABC. Keep the facebook and twitters going! Im trying to answer all of the messages on there.”

Now you know. Do you feel informed, or just a little queasy — like you ingested too much junk food?

Me too.

Catch up on “The Bachelor” stuff by reading my archive of “Bachelor/Bachelorette” stories.

(Can you believe Reid Rosenthal was the first choice to be “The Bachelor” but they went with Jake? I guess it worked out well for Reid. Not so much for me.)

Paging Ali Fedotowsky: If you or your exes have photos like this sitting around somewhere, BURN THEM NOW before your season starts.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

I don’t know about you, but to me the whole timing of this Tanya Douglas bombshell is a wee bit suspicious.

If Jake Pavelka really tried to contact her after the filming of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” — and she has text messages and e-mails the usual crap to prove it, which radio guy Steve Kramer confirms — why just come out about it now?

If he told her, as she claims, that he was forced to propose to Vienna Girardi (my condolences), why not say something ahead of time? Like back in the fall, before the show started airing in January? Why wait until after the finale aired in March?

And so what if Jake told this chick he was only going on the show to further his acting career? Is this really a surprise? There he is, in line behind EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON that ever went on “The Bachelor”/”The Bachelorette.”

Including Vienna. Excuse, me, especially Vienna.

It sounds like Jake might’ve been doing what Ed Swiderski supposedly did with the texts and e-mails to his ex-girlfriends in Chicago during “The Bachelorette” with Jillian Harris.

And if she can get past that, Vienna — former Hooters waitress/teen divorcee — can probably forgive Jake.

I’m more frustrated that these idiots keep such damaging evidence on their phones and cameras. Learn, already!

Smile though your heart is breaking!

But according to this E! story, Vienna may really be ticked about the Tanya situation. Or just ticked in general.

While at an Oscar party over the weekend at Soho House, sources told E! that Vienna “seemed to be in a mood.”

“She loves the recent media attention, but it was clear she was pissed off about something,”  an eyewitness to the quasi-bitchy account told E!. “While people were approaching Jake and Vienna to congratulate them, Vienna wouldn’t even acknowledge some of them. She would just stare off somewhere else. Jake was really friendly, though.”

This “relationship” has a shelf life of two weeks after his season of “Dancing with the Stars” ends.

***

Jason & Molly’s wedding literally makes former ‘Bachelor’ stars sick

I made a point to not watch the Trista/Ryan wedding and I continued the tradition of not giving a hoot when it came to Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney.

I thought it was cute when I heard they would walk down the aisle to Jason Castro’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” I loved his version of that song, too.

But the only thing that really caught my eye was when I checked out the Twitter pages for Jillian Harris, Trista Sutter and DeAnna Pappas (Yes, I’m a crazy stalker. Deal.) and they all complained of feeling ill, right after coming back from the wedding (which was taped more than a week before the air date).

As DeAnna tweeted to Jillian on March 2: “@designerjillian OMG! Something must have been going around at the wedding! I woke up sick Sun morning & have been sick every since!”

And Trista piped in: “@DeAnnaPappas @designerjillian I’m sick 2. What the heck?? Ryan’s not sick tho & neither are the kids, altho B has been sleeping for hrs!”

“The Bachelor” makes us all sick at least once a year. We get over it.

*****

Rozlyn Papa is not in this sex tape

Rozlyn, I wish you were involved in the 20/20 special.

Let’s not jump the gun and say Rozlyn Papa has never made a sex tape. Who knows. But Rozlyn’s rep is denying that her client is the girl featured in a porn clip released online today.

That’s all I really want to say about that.

*****

20/20 ‘Inside The Bachelor: The Stories Behind the Rose’ special looks to be light on ‘special’

Just got this ABC press release on the continuation of Monday nights as “Bachelor” nights. (Question: What are we supposed to do after this coming Monday when there is no more filler to stretch out “The Bachelor” season before the May 24 launch of Ali’s “Bachelorette”?)

Considering most of the people they interview are ABC-friendly lightweights like Dr. Travis Stork, Ryan and Trista Sutter, Andrew Firestone; Meredith Phillips and Charlie O’Connell, I’m not expecting too many insights.

They’re even threatening us with more 15 minutes of fame talk from “GMA contributor Melissa Rycroft as special correspondent.”

(Ha! She didn’t get the “Dancing with the Stars” job. Wonder why not?)

Please. Give me Wes Hayden. Rozlyn Papa. Or at least Graham Bunn talking about what he wrote in that lost loner’s love letter to DeAnna.

Anyway, this I will watch, although I’ll be coming back from my trip to Wilmington, N.C. and I may be crankier than usual.

Here’s the press release:

On Monday, March 15, ABC News’ “20/20” will air a special, two-hour edition of the broadcast, “Inside the Bachelor: The Stories Behind the Rose.” Anchored by Deborah Roberts and Chris Connelly, with “GMA” contributor Melissa Rycroft as special correspondent, “20/20” takes viewers inside ABC’s “The Bachelor.” From casting sessions, to never-before-seen audition tapes, “Inside the Bachelor: The Stories Behind the Rose” will include exclusive interviews with former Bachelors and Bachelorettes, as well as former contestants, including: Dr. Travis Stork, Ryan and Trista Sutter, Andrew Firestone; Meredith Phillips, Charlie O’Connell and many other fan favorites.

Brad Womack, Season 11’s “Bachelor,” who left both final women without a rose – and without a ring — opens up to “20/20” about his life today and what he’s learned from being front and center in the reality TV’s spotlight. Womack is also reunited with one of the final women during that season, DeAnna Pappas. Loveable, funnyman Bob Guiney — who did not find love on-camera — talks to “20/20” for the first time since his split with his soap star wife, Rebecca Budig. “20/20” also catches up with former “Bachelor” Byron Velvick and the woman who won his heart and the final rose, Mary Delgado. When the cameras stopped rolling, Byron and Mary were enjoying their engagement and planning a life together, that is until a late night call to the police and years of tremulous ups and downs put an end to their romance. “20/20” updates viewers on where they are now.

In addition “20/20” features more of Jake Pavelka and his new fiancée, Vienna, including what viewers didn’t see during this season of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.” The program also explores surprise endings that contestants encounter from their 15 minutes of fame, most notably Melissa Rycroft. Millions tuned in to watch single father Jason Mesnick propose marriage to Melissa. But on the “After the Final Rose” special, Jason famously dumped Melissa for runner-up Molly Malaney. Rycroft went from being humiliated on national television to find herself a surprise contestant on “Dancing with the Stars,” with an aspiring television career.

“Inside the Bachelor: The Stories Behind the Rose” will revisit some of the most shocking and memorable moments in “Bachelor” history, and share a rare interview with “Bachelor” creator/executive producer Mike Fleiss and executive producer, Martin Hilton. Host Chris Harrison talks about what goes on behind the closed doors of the mansion.

David Sloan is the executive producer of “Inside The Bachelor: The Stories Behind the Rose.”

Uh oh. I sense trouble from this trio of blondes.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

I just wonder how fixed Vienna Girardi’s smile is going to be when watching her “Bachelor” fiancé Jake Pavelka dance with hot little Chelsie Hightower on season 10 of “Dancing with the Stars.”

Chelsie was on my favorite season of “So You Think You Can Dance” (she wasn’t my favorite dancer, although I loved her original partner, Mark. My heart belongs to Joshua and Katee) and she’s a funky little flirt.

She danced with snowboarder Louie Vito last season and I believe Aaron Carter was nursing a crush on her while dancing with Karina Smirnoff (who was cut from the competition).

Chelsie Hightower and Ty Murray

She also had great chemistry with Jewel’s hubby, Ty Murray.

Anyway, ABC released a press release with the full celeb and pro pairings.

Since the pros are the real stars, to me, this is the key announcement.

No offense to lovely Anna Trebunskaya but I’m disappointed that dreamy Evan Lysacek didn’t get someone a little more fun, like Karina or Chelsie or Kym Johnson (nowhere to be found and she’s the reigning champion. Odd.) Or Lacey Schwimmer, who is gone for some reason this season. Or Julianne Hough, the best dancer on the show, who is probably never coming back.

I think Jake will do well with Chelsie.

I think anyone paired with Cheryl Burke will do well — and suffer for it.

But at this point it seems clear that Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger and my boy Derek Hough are the team to beat.

Sex appeal like mad. Get ready for a lot of “raunchy” complaints from head judge Len Goodman and some mad drooling and unintelligible gibberish from Bruno Tonioli.

******

ABC ANNOUNCES THE CELEBRITY AND PROFESSIONAL PAIRINGS

FOR “DANCING WITH THE STARS,” PREMIERING MARCH 22 ON ABC

The “Dancing with the Stars” Pros Begin Training Their New Celebrity Partners,

As the Couples Get Set to Showcase Their Fancy Footwork

One New Professional Ballroom Dancer Joins the Show, Damian Whitewood

An all-new cast of celebrities and their professional partners hit the dance floor on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” with the highly anticipated two-hour season premiere, MONDAY, MARCH 22 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.

In alphabetical order, and with their professional partners, the 11 stars making their ballroom dancing debut are:

  • BUZZ ALDRIN, legendary astronaut, partners up with ASHLY COSTA (formerly DelGrosso), who returns for her fourth season.
  • PAMELA ANDERSON, actress and model, joins professional dancer DAMIAN WHITEWOOD, who makes his “Dancing with the Stars” debut this season.
  • ERIN ANDREWS, ESPN host, teams with MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY, who returns for his eighth season.
  • SHANNEN DOHERTY, actress, teams up with two-time “Dancing with the Stars” champ MARK BALLAS, who returns for his sixth season.
  • KATE GOSSELIN, TLC star, teams with TONY DOVOLANI, who returns for his ninth season.
  • EVAN LYSACEK, Olympic figure skating champion, teams with ANNA TREBUNSKAYA, who returns for her fifth season.
  • NIECY NASH, comedienne and host, teams up with LOUIS VAN AMSTEL, who returns for his sixth season
  • CHAD OCHOCINCO, NFL Star, teams up with two-time champion CHERYL BURKE, who returns for her ninth season.
  • JAKE PAVELKA, “The Bachelor” star, joins CHELSIE HIGHTOWER, who returns for her third season.
  • NICOLE SCHERZINGER, pop star, teams with Season 7 champ DEREK HOUGH, who returns for his sixth season.
  • AIDEN TURNER, soap star, teams with EDYTA SLIWINSKA, who is the only pro to compete in all 10 seasons of “Dancing with the Stars.”

All 11 teams will showcase their fancy footwork for the first time on MONDAY, MARCH 22 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET), with no eliminations in first week of the competition. In week two, all of the couples will return and try to outshine each other once again in a two-hour show, MONDAY, MARCH 29 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET). The couple with the lowest combined judges’ scores and public votes for both performances will be sent home on TUESDAY, MARCH 30 (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) in the season premiere of “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show.”

Viewers may cast their votes for their favorite teams via phone on Monday night during and up to 30 minutes after the “Dancing with the Stars” performance shows. AT&T customers may also text message their votes by texting the word “VOTE” and entering the number that corresponds to the team they want to support (message and data rates may apply). Viewers may also vote online at www.abc.com starting from the opening of each episode on the East Coast and until 12:00 Noon, ET the following day.

Hosted by Tom Bergeron (“America’s Funniest Home Videos”), the celebrities perform choreographed dance routines which will be judged by renowned Ballroom judge Len Goodman and dancer/choreographers Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba, who all return for their tenth season together.

Ali said she was shaking with nerves when she came out on stage to sit with Chris.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

We all knew, or at least suspected, that Ali Fedotowsky would be named the next “Bachelorette.”

And it has happened.

Her new season will start Monday, May 24.

Ali and Chris during the "After the Final Rose" special.

What will be the cheesy title for season six? “The Bachelorette: In Your Face, Facebook”?

She told host Chris Harrison during “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose” that she wants 50 guys instead of 25, which I have no problem with.

She wants “a funny, smart, kind of quirky guy.”

YES! SHE WANTS REID ROSENTHAL!

So do I.

See.

I’ve been back and forth on Ali.

At first, I wanted Ali as “The Bachelorette” because I knew she would pick 25 Reids, whereas Tenley would pick 25 Jakes.

Reid! Reid! Reid!

Then she left for her job at Facebook and made such a whiny pill of herself I got irritated.

But now I am just impressed. Because she was playing the long game this whole time.

Why settle for Jake when you can have 25 better men?

Well played, ma’am. Well played.

***

ABC just issued a press release on Ali being named as the new “Bachelorette:”

ALI FEDOTOWSKY PUTS IT ALL ON THE LINE FOR HER SECOND CHANCE AT LOVE

WHEN SHE BECOMES “THE BACHELORETTE,” PREMIERING MAY 24 ON ABC

Ali Fedotowsky has finally decided to risk it all for love. The energetic and charismatic career-oriented woman from San Francisco has re-prioritized her life – and now love comes out on top. She will have her own opportunity to find her soul mate when she stars in the sixth edition of “The Bachelorette,” which will premiere MONDAY, MAY 24 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. The identity of the new Bachelorette was revealed tonight on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love — After the Final Rose.”

Ali, 25, has been a fan favorite from the moment she stepped out of the limo with her sexy raspy voice and a peacock feather to meet Jake Pavelka on the last season of “The Bachelor.” She became the front-runner for Jake’s heart, but instead they found themselves in a heartbreaking situation when she made a gut-wrenching decision to choose a job she loved over the man she loved. Ali made the surprising safe choice to go back to work, but regretted it immediately. By the time she sorted out her work affairs, Jake had already moved on with his search for love with the three fabulous women who stayed with him, and he did not allow Ali to return. But it’s not too late for Ali now. Admitting that she made one of the biggest mistakes of her life, she has let go of everything this time – her apartment, her job, her stability – to really make a life-changing commitment to put her heart first.

Ali grew up in Williamstown, Massachusetts, with one sister, one brother and their parents. Although she gave up her chance at a future with Jake, she has set her sights on a reliable, funny and humble guy who can challenge her. Even though this Bachelorette is known more for her work ethic, she loves to play. She enjoys hiking, wake boarding and playing soccer, but also takes pleasure in going to wine tastings.

After attending Mount Greylock Regional High School, where she played varsity soccer for four years, she graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in psychology from Clark University in New England. She also was a member of Phi Beta Kappa. Ali moved to California after graduation in 2006 and most recently was employed as an account manager in online advertising.

***

A full recap of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” finale.

Jake and Vienna talk to Chris during “After the Final Rose.”

If you run into Jake and Vienna on the street, sing "On the Wings of Love" to them. They'll love it. Just love it.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

Chris Harrison sat down with Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi during “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose.”

It was Jake and Vienna’s first public outing as a couple.

They are looking forward to the usual things couples do — walking around in public, going out to dinner, defying logic…

Chris said they got engaged on the show, then had to go back to real life as the show played out on air.

Here's the rock ABC bought Vienna. Do they have to return the rings if/when the relationship sours?

He asked how it’s been, since the tabloids and even some of the fans (Hi!) were not very kind to Vienna.

Vienna: “It’s been extremely difficult for me.”

The tabloids have been coming out with “fabricated stories” from people she hasn’t spoken with since junior high. If they spoke to her best friends they’d see a different side.

Vienna: “America is seeing this image of me and it’s not me.”

What Jake has seen so far from the tabloids is nowhere near the truth.

Jake: “They’re painting a picture of her … that she has no values and is a really miserable person. And none of that is true.”

Chris Harrison said he knows them well enough that he knows they know it’s all ridiculous.

He’s even read reports that they are broken up.

Vienna: “And I have a secret boyfriend that’s so secret I don’t know about him.”

Vienna is moving to Jake’s hometown, Dallas, “immediately,” they said.

But Jake is “immediately” going on “Dancing with the Stars” season 10.

The show starts March 22. And it’s filmed in L.A. So…?

They don’t have a wedding date yet.

But ABC is already giving them an engagement honeymoon by giving them a trip back to St. Lucia.

NOOOOOOOO!

Jeffrey Osborne showed up to play “On the Wings of Love” for Jake and Vienna.

He’s been waiting years for this, I’m sure.

He’s probably gotten more money in the last two months than the past 10 years.

Vienna is busting up laughing as they dance on stage to the song. I think she can’t help it. It is ridiculous and cheesy. At least she can see that. Tenley wouldn’t even recognize the humor of it.

Jake had to kiss her to shut up her laughter.

Thank you, Jeffrey, but it’s officially time to never hear that song again.

Jake proposes to his "baby," Vienna. He is so in love with her. Fine.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

No shock from “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” finale.

Jake Pavelka proposed to Vienna Girardi. He loves her. She loves him.

And they will REALLY love all the camera time he’s going to get as the 11th cast member on “Dancing with the Stars” season 10.

More on that here.

I swear. I thought they would be broken up by now, but they found the secret to “Bachelor” success: More TV time.

He should credit Tenley Molzahn if he wins DWTS. She’s the real dancer.

Actually, Gia Allemand was a ballet dancer, too.

It was sad to see Tenley’s goodbye tears. Cartoon characters should never cry!

She did not make it easy on Jake. Better to scream and yell and get angry.

Instead, she thanked him for allowing her to love and be loved again.

Never mind sobbing at a balcony, I would seriously have thrown myself off that balcony.

Read a full stream-of-consciousness recap of the finale here.

This is what I'm looking forward to.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

As if you could forget!

Tomorrow — almost exactly 24 hours from now — on the Monday night season finale of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” Jake Pavelka will sob at a balcony and then propose to Vienna choose between Tenley Molzahn and Vienna Girardi.

OR WILL HE?

Yes, he will.

And according to Chris Harrison, “He’s still with the woman he chose, very much in love, and they’re doing great.”

But that hasn’t stopped TV Guide readers from voting for Jake to pick Ali Fedotowsky, even though she left “The Bachelor,” tried to come back and was refused.

TV Guide has a poll up, with the following results as of Sunday evening:

Who do you think Jake should choose?

    • Vienna
    • 7%
    • Tenley
    • 33%
    • Ali
    • 46%
    • No one
    • 14%

Total votes: 9158

I would’ve gone with Tenley or no one, at this point. Jake and Ali had their shot — more than one shot, really.

******

Other things to keep in mind:

• Also during the two-hour finale, from 8 to 10 p.m. on March 1 on ABC, the cast of “Dancing with the Stars” season 10 will be announced by DWTS host Tom Bergeron and “Bachelor” winner/DWTS finalist Melissa Rycroft.

• Immediately following the “Bachelor” season finale, both Tenley and Vienna will join Jake to look back on their journey on the one-hour special, “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose,” from 10 to 11 p.m. on Monday.

• Also during the “After the Final Rose” special, America will be introduced to the next “Bachelorette” … although I think we met her back when she waved her peacock feather at Jake when she first came out of the limo. Her name is Ali. Unless it’s Tenley. Or Gia Allemand. Or me?

• And on Monday, March 8 at 8 p.m. we can watch Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney’s wedding on ABC. They were married yesterday in a “private” ceremony at Terranea Resort, located on the coast of Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.

• We’re not done! On Monday, March 15, from 8 to 10 p.m., there will be a special edition of 20/20: “Inside The Bachelor — The Stories Behind the Rose.” It never flipping ends!

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I’m preparing this photo for after Jake proposes to Vienna:

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