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I don’t know what to say.
I didn’t know Gia Allemand personally, but I talked to her for interviews and she seemed like someone I’d like in real life. She and I are both Ginas (although she went by Gia) and big advocates for helping homeless animals. She was the compassionate heart of “Bachelor Pad.” She even made Wes’s country song seem tolerable (although I disagree that he’s like Shakespeare but “better and cuter.”) She just seemed cool and sweet, although a bit sensitive and insecure. I never imagined she’d ever be in a place where she’d take her own life at age 29, as reports have suggested.
Whenever I think of Gia, I think of that conference call she was on during BP2, when we were trying to figure out what happened between Ames and Jackie. They were both on the call and it was kind of awkward, since Ames had apparently dumped Jackie and no one really understood what happened. Gia jumped in to ask her own questions, since she was a fan of Team Jackie Brown too.
Gia, you are already missed — and you’ll never be forgotten.
Sad that out of the final four I ended up rooting for Kiptyn Locke and (HOW?) Natalie Getz to win “Bachelor Pad.”
But they were not paired together so they were not an option. Alas.
I can’t say I’m happy that Dave Good and Natalie Getz won. I love that they beat Kip-Ten but once Peyton Wright and Jesse Beck left there were no good options. The super six sucked.
I’m happy that Wes Hayden and Gia Allemand may now be a thing. (Check out their nightclub activity from last Friday.)
I’m even happier that Michelle Kujawa told off Tenley Molzahn. About time!
And I’m happy that Elizabeth Kitt went back to brunette — she looked good — but it didn’t help her get in touch with sanity.
Dave is a jerk and I have no idea why women love him. He’s Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast.”
Gwen, I’m glad you called him out. You should’ve won that money.
***Live blog/stream of consciousness recap***
The super six are congratulating themselves. I can’t stand them.
Dave talks about his pact with Kovacs to make the final two, but that’s not possible since it’s a couples game.
Natalie is falling hard for Dave but it was a mistake to vote out Peyton and Jesse.
Love how Kovacs gazes at Dave in the kitchen.
Chris H. calls them all into the living room.
The couple that wins the competition will guarantee them in the final 4.
Kiptyn’s eyes go wide about ballroom dancing. Tenley is a trained dancer.
Kiptyn isn’t a good dancer, he says.
Elizabeth doesn’t like to dance. Now she is “smitten by Kovacs.” What happened to love?
They take limos to meet their trainers. Elizabeth and Kovacs make out in the limo.
Natalie is glad that her gym class dance training will come in handy.
Kiptyn’s biggest fear is letting Tenley down. Aww.
Elizabeth is already stressing over whether they’ll get a male or female instructor.
Elizabeth: If it’s a woman you have to still focus on me because it might make me lose focus.
Tenley is a big fan of Chelsie Hightower.
Elizabeth is happy to see Edyta, she says.
Edyta will teach them the Rumba.
Kovacs: Edyta, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a girl in person with that great of a body. It’s incredible. Edyta is so hot it’s almost unbearable.
Tenley and Kiptyn will do the Foxtrot.
Dave and Natalie are doing the Cha-Cha-Cha.
Dave will do whatever it takes to win.
Dave: I’m twirling him, I’m dipping him and this is business to me. I’m not afraid to get in touch with my feminine side and dance with another guy.
Oh it’s like Edyta is teasing Kovacs.
Elizabeth: Edyta is extremely sexy. I get a little tinge of jealousy every time she puts her hands up on my man. The first time that Edyta straddled him and looked at him with those eyes, I felt very insecure actually.
Ha! You should.
Kovacs is spending way more time dancing with Edyta than him. Don’t worry. Dave is only dancing with Louis.
Kiptyn is frustrated. He’s not moving his feet right.
Don’t overanalyze it, Kip!
Natalie is overthinking it too.
Dave says they need to be passionate. He has great chemistry with Natalie, he says.
Louis: Do you guys have sex in the house?
He wants them to dance as if they have sex. That’s what Cha-Cha is.
Louis: Rumba is romantic. This is get to the point, let’s just get it over with.
That’s hilarious. I love Louis.
This is good for Dave and Natalie who are “sexual people.”
Louis does a doggie-style move too. Hello!
Natalie: Louis has told me so many times throughout these lifts and spins to throw my head back with a feeling. And you know Dave and I are definitely used to those positions.
Louis: In the history of me teaching as a pro I’ve never heard a woman ask ‘Please grab my boobs, it’s safer.’
Elizabeth is stressing that she’s not as sexy as Edyta.
Chelsie is giving good advice. Don’t show your mistakes because the judges won’t even notice them unless you point them out.
The sextestants are getting their styling done.
They walk outside and it’s just like Dancing with the Stars. Kiptyn has been in the audience a few times.
They will be judged by performance, chemistry and effort on a scale of 1 to 10.
Chris H. brings out three special judges.
Melissa Rycroft finished third on DWTS
Jake Pavelka comes back. He’s the last guy Tenley kissed before Kiptyn
Trista Sutter was on the first season of DWTS
Kip-Ten is first. Kip kissed her on the neck before the dance.
Tenley kept telling Kiptyn to smile. It’s very cutesy and energetic.
Melissa – 8, Jake – 9, Trista – 9
Kovacs and Elizabeth dance their Rumba. You can see Edyta’s mark on this, but it’s not as much of a crowd pleaser as the peppy Kip-Ten dance, so I think they have no shot.
The choreography is just not helping them.
Natalie: Watching Elizabeth and Kovacs dance was like watching Bambi on Ice. It was awful.
It was “uncomfortable and distracting” like a bad wreck.
Elizabeth is one of the worst dancers ever.
Ha! Jake says he can tell they are a couple. Trista said they had no problem in the chemistry department. Poor Kovacs is probably gritting his teeth.
They got kind comments from the judges, but 8s from all three. Kovacs said they blew it. He’s never one a challenge or a rose. Elizabeth feels like she let herself and Kovacs down.
They are out.
Dave and Natalie are last. They dance the Cha-Cha.
Dave looks good in his open shirt.
They both look stiff and stone-faced. Natalie has no hip rhythm. Tenley says they are “on fire”? Is she blind? They kept screwing up.
They impressed Melissa and Jake with the lifts. Trista says “hello sexiness.”
Dave and Natalie have to beat 26 points to beat Tenley and Kiptyn.
Trista gives them an 8, making Tenley and Kiptyn the winners.
Dave is frustrated. Something about the light at the end of the tunnel and bleeping down your leg.
Natalie is ticked at herself. They nailed it in the studio and failed in crunch time.
They couldn’t even finish the dance.
Oh no. Tenley and Kiptyn are bathing together. Gross.
Dave thinks he and Nat have a good chance to beat Kip-Ten, if they chose him.
Will Kip-Ten follow their heads or their hearts? Blah blah.
Dave says Natalie is the perfect partner for him. She’s beautiful and he’s falling in love.
Elizabeth thinks this show has helped bring them together.
The fairy tale may be over if they leave that night. Dear, there was no fairy tale.
Dave said if he and Nat lived in the same city things might be different. She’s in Hollywood. He’s in Dayton, Ohio. If they won they could move closer to each other. But would they?
Natalie and Tenley are good friends. Women code.
Kovacs is making his pitch to Kiptyn. It’s basically a “we suck so pick us” argument. How sad.
Tenley wants to keep Nat and Dave. Kiptyn wants to keep Elizabeth and Kovacs.
Kiptyn walks into the rose ceremony very conflicted. They are friends and they will feel the repercussions of the decision long after the show ends.
Tenley is already teary eyed. This isn’t about you, dear.
Kiptyn makes a speech about how much they liked each other, etc.
Tenley and I would like to extend the invitation….
To Dave and Natalie
So Elizabeth and Kovacs are finally gone.
Reality Steve’s spoilers were right so far…
Tenley said she and Natalie are close and Dave showed such loyalty.
Kiptyn hopes that Kovacs did find love with Elizabeth. RIGHT.
Elizabeth hopes the experience has genuinely changed Kovacs. What about you? You are the one who needs to change more.
Kovacs isn’t as angry as he thought he would be because he has an “awesome” relationship with Elizabeth.
He went on “The Bachelorette” hoping for a relationship and left with nothing. He went on “Bachelor Pad” hoping for money and he ended up with a relationship.
Nope. Not anymore, man.
The next time the final four see Chris H. will be in front of a live studio audience.
Oh no. Dave called it “the process.” I HATE when they do that.
Natalie wants to win the money so she and Dave can start their lives together.
Kiptyn and Tenley live sort of close to each other in SoCal.
They are leaving the mansion forever.
Not-so live finale (taped Wednesday) with all the former contestants.
Peyton, Jesse, Wes and Gia seem to get the biggest applause.
Melissa has a cute baby bump.
Elizabeth has dark hair again.
They are not together.
Elizabeth: He’s single, Anyone who wants to date a player, here you go. Good luck.
He led her to believe he had certain feelings about her but behind the scenes he was saying she had a screw loose.
To be fair, we were all saying that.
After the show they gave their relationship a shot for a quick minute, but that didn’t work out.
He wanted a casual relationship and she didn’t.
Chris H. asks about the Insiders vs. Outsiders.
He talks to Gia about how they screwed that up.
She says her decision to save Wes was not an emotional vote.
Gia still has an attraction to Wes!
She does not still have her boyfriend from before the show.
Wes just wanted to take the money and run like a robbery, but then he met Gia.
Wes: Bad boys need love too.
Where do they go from here?
There’s only one girl he wanted to kiss in the kissing contest but she pulled away. So he got his kiss!
Chris H.: If you should choose to forgo the studio, you can go straight to the fantasy suite.
Tenley gushes “Kiptyn’s my boyfriend.” Love Michelle’s face!
Dave and Natalie are taking it slow.
Chris wants to hear if the contestants believe that the relationships are real. Ashley was surprised because Dave was just with Jessie before the Vegas trip.
Dave said he and Natalie started as friends. Dave said they are not on the same level as Kip-Ten.
Krisily now says she knows Dave didn’t lie to her, but why didn’t he come to her first and tell her what was going to happen?
Dave said he didn’t want her to be upset. He didn’t see the point of going up to her with one minute left. She feels like it was a respect issue. I agree with her.
Chris H. brings up Kiptyn’s lie to Peyton that he was not in a relationship with Tenley.
Kiptyn is glad that he brought that up. Kip was being 100 percent honest that night. The next week Tenley won the Catalina date and that’s when things started. (So what was with the comment to the camera that he lied?)
Gia asks why he said he would never vote off Tenley. Kip said they were friends. Gia keeps challenging him, like about Nikki. Nikki saved Kiptyn and she did not keep her safe.
Gia was upset that Kip didn’t save Nikki.
Yes! Michelle talks about how what happened with Tenley will affect her decision.
She and Tenley were on the same season of The Bachelor. They seemed like they got along. She confronted Tenley because she was upset about the rumor about Craig.
Michelle: I was pissed. I was livid, Tenley, that you — bubbly, smiling all the time — would make up a rumor and not even come up to me first but spread it through the entire house. I lost respect for you. I didn’t care for you and to this day I still don’t care for you. I’ll tell you right now, you don’t have my vote.
Tenley said she is sorry. The audience loves Tenley, no matter what she does.
Wes questions everybody’s integrity. Money talks. He feels hurt that Dave told Krisily that Wes was running behind people’s backs.
Aww! Wes on Gia: I mean hell I got a million dollars right here, I don’t need $250,000.
He is such a player.
Natalie talks about the fun she had on the show. She wants to pay off her debt and start a small charity for prostate cancer because her father survived it. She talks so fast.
Dave feels like he played the game as honest and fair as she could.
God Jesse Beck looks hot. But Dave said he looked Jesse in the eyes and told him he would vote him out. It was honest.
He hopes he and Nat brought some comic relief to the show. (VOMIT!)
Gwen said she overheard a conversation he had with some people in the house. Dave said anybody in their 30s is a loser to be in the house? He is SUCH an ass.
Dave said if you’re in “your upper 30s” then being on a dating show is getting a little older. As a personal preference it’s not something he would do.
Gwen didn’t go on the show for a relationship, she came for the money. SUCK IT, DAVE.
Tenley makes a pageant speech. She tried to play as true to her character as she could. Sadly, I think she did.
She lost her home? She disses her marriage again. Her ex is never going to live that down. She wants to pay her parents back.
Kiptyn is planning to give 20% of the money to charity, so that’s $50,000 off the top. He wants to take vacations and do “selfish” things, but he also wants to give back.
Juan said Kiptyn played with integrity and Dave and Natalie were strong, but what did Tenley do?
Jessie defended Tenley, saying she was strong and she won the pie-eating contest. Blah. Blah. Blah.
The life-changing vote is up!
Everyone has paddles under their seats. First couple to 8 votes wins.
Craig’s vote: Kiptyn and Tenley
Jonathan/Weatherman: Kiptyn and Tenley
Jessie: Dave and Natalie
Krisily: Dave and Natalie
Peyton: Dave and Natalie
Jesse B.: Dave and Natalie
Juan: Kiptyn and Tenley
Gwen: Kiptyn and Tenley
Ashley: Dave and Natalie
Michelle: Dave and Natalie
Nikki: Dave and Natalie
Wes: Dave and Natalie
Wes is a good guy for getting past his ego to make that vote. I doubt Dave would have been as mature about it.
I love Wes. I do. Not the way Gia loves him, but I’ve always liked him.
Dave and Natalie’s relationship will be put to the test. They have to go to separate deliberation rooms.
If they want to split the money they pick share. If they want to keep the money they pick keep.
The twist is, if they both pick share they will split the money evenly: $125,000 each. If one chooses share and the other chooses keep, the other will get all the money.
If they both pick keep then neither gets the money. The money will be split between the former housemates. (Juan and Jonathan hug each other. They love this idea!)
How much do they trust each other?
The best answer is “share” at this point. It doesn’t take a strong relationship to make that decision. You could do this with strangers and come to that decision.
Kovacs believes Dave will pick share. Gia believes it would be selfish if they don’t pick share.
Nikki believes Natalie puts Natalie first and she could go either way. She says that as a friend! Krisily thinks Natalie could pick “keep” too.
Kovacs doesn’t think it should ruin a friendship if one keeps the money. True! That’s what happens on “Survivor” and this show was supposed to have one winner, not two.
Dave reveals first: He picks share.
Natalie wants to say something. Chris says no, at first.
Natalie: I think that we all said get your friends as far as you can get your friends and the only time to be selfish is when you get your friends as far you can get them.
Everyone thinks she’s going to pick “keep” but then she turns her card around to reveal “so I’m gonna share with ya!”
They hug and Dave bounces around. Did he kiss Chris Harrison?
Then, inexplicably, Wes plays “Love Don’t Come Easy” AGAIN!
Gia Allemand and Jonathan Novack did the whole media conference call thing today.
Jonathan pretended to be confused by being called Jonathan instead of The Weatherman (first and last name) and for some reason someone asked him if he would want to be the next “Bachelor.” He said he’d consider it. I say NO and I think I speak for all of us there.
Inevitably Gia was asked about Wes Hayden and her (ex?) boyfriend NHL player Chris Campoli. She played coy but she did say she hasn’t “spoken” to Wes since the show ended. Is there more to it than that?
Also, Gia calls Kiptyn Locke the biggest liar in the house. Jonathan says Elizabeth Kitt is the biggest liar and also “demonic.” They both picked Kiptyn to win the $250,000. Gia has nasty words for Nikki Kappke, whom she blames for everything.
And they call out one of the “Bachelor Pad” housemates for farting up the bedroom. Seriously. Find out who at the end of the interview.
Miss anything from Monday’s episode? Check out my stream-of-consciousness recap here: “Bachelor Pad episode 3 recap: Wes can’t save Gia, Gia can’t save reputation”
Am I going straight to hell if I can’t get “Love Don’t Come Easy” out of my head?
It’s been a week now! It started after the previews from last week’s “Bachelor Pad” and for whatever reason ABC let Wes Hayden play the whole dang song on air this week.
I … I almost want to buy it. (Don’t hate me!)
Gia Allemand completed her tour of self-delusion this week on episode 3. If I were her boyfriend, I would dump her less for cheating with Wes than having no idea why anyone would blame her for the collapse of The Outsiders.
Jonathan Novack is a victim of his looks and his desperate attempt at charm. It’s high school. A really crap high school. And Dave Good and Natalie Getz are the Homecoming King and Queen (of STDs). If there are two trashier people on TV, never tell me about them.
It’s still a shock to me that Wes Hayden has had any girlfriends, never mind that he might’ve had one back home while courting Jillian Harris on “The Bachelorette.” Jill should’ve sent that player home long before “that bird has no foot.”
But apparently the guy has mad charms, because he’s now bragging to friends that he broke up “Bachelor Pad” co-star Gia Allemand’s on-again/off-again relationship with NHL star Chris Campoli of the Ottaway Senators.
“Wes felt he was instrumental in breaking up Gia and her boyfriend’s serious relationship,” said a source who heard Wes boasting at a bar in Texas this past week. “Wes has a really big ego and seemed proud of being the main cause of their breakup.”
Wes also talked about how the swimsuit model was still contacting him after the show. “Wes claimed Gia stayed in touch with him even after the taping of the show, and that Gia’s boyfriend was really upset with them talking with each other so much.”
This is probably bull. Who knows what half of RadarOnline’s stuff is ever true.
Gia was crazy to save Wes last week and I disagree with her assessment of Wes as “the modern-day Shakespeare, but better and cuter!” But I refuse to believe she’s so mentally unstable — and her NHL man so insecure — that Wes could break them up. Chances are something else was a factor there.
Watch Gia defend her decision to give Wes the rose here in this Access Hollywood video.
Catch up on my archive of Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad stories here in this nifty archive.
And read a bunch of “Bachelorette” and “Bachelor Pad” news, spoilers and top 10 lists here at BacheloretteFans.com.
Anyone else shocked that the Jesse Beck/Natalie Getz relationship went from third base to the bleachers within an hour? Or is it not that surprising since that hour included Gia Allemand?
How much does Jesse wish Gia was “The Bachelorette” instead of Ali Fedotowsky?
They don’t know who’s going to be the Bachelorette until they get there and I think both Jonathan and Jesse wanted it to be Gia. Probably everyone wanted it to be Gia.
I am so mad at Gia right now. She lied. She betrayed everyone. FOR WES of all people. Guess he was wrong: Love comes a little too easily.
And Gia’s mad at Nikki for making the same bad call, just for a better guy (aka Kiptyn)?
“Bachelor Pad” makes me a borderline misogynist. At least Krisily, Peyton and Gwen are worth liking and respecting. Don’t do anything to change that!
I apologize in advance to “REALLY. Really” for not writing about “Dating in the Dark.” I thought about it, but I hate shows that try to prove they’re not shallow by reinforcing their shallowness. At least “Bachelor Pad” is open about its lack of real depth. I tried!
For all kinds of “Bachelorette” and “Bachelor Pad” news, spoilers, top 10 lists and various general “stuff” visit BacheloretteFans.com.
Catch up on my own nifty Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad archive here.
By Gina Carbone
As if you could forget!
Tomorrow — almost exactly 24 hours from now — on the Monday night season finale of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” Jake Pavelka will sob at a balcony and then propose to Vienna choose between Tenley Molzahn and Vienna Girardi.
OR WILL HE?
Yes, he will.
And according to Chris Harrison, “He’s still with the woman he chose, very much in love, and they’re doing great.”
But that hasn’t stopped TV Guide readers from voting for Jake to pick Ali Fedotowsky, even though she left “The Bachelor,” tried to come back and was refused.
TV Guide has a poll up, with the following results as of Sunday evening:
Who do you think Jake should choose?
- No one
Total votes: 9158
I would’ve gone with Tenley or no one, at this point. Jake and Ali had their shot — more than one shot, really.
Other things to keep in mind:
• Also during the two-hour finale, from 8 to 10 p.m. on March 1 on ABC, the cast of “Dancing with the Stars” season 10 will be announced by DWTS host Tom Bergeron and “Bachelor” winner/DWTS finalist Melissa Rycroft.
• Immediately following the “Bachelor” season finale, both Tenley and Vienna will join Jake to look back on their journey on the one-hour special, “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose,” from 10 to 11 p.m. on Monday.
• Also during the “After the Final Rose” special, America will be introduced to the next “Bachelorette” … although I think we met her back when she waved her peacock feather at Jake when she first came out of the limo. Her name is Ali. Unless it’s Tenley. Or Gia Allemand. Or me?
• And on Monday, March 8 at 8 p.m. we can watch Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney’s wedding on ABC. They were married yesterday in a “private” ceremony at Terranea Resort, located on the coast of Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.
• We’re not done! On Monday, March 15, from 8 to 10 p.m., there will be a special edition of 20/20: “Inside The Bachelor — The Stories Behind the Rose.” It never flipping ends!
I’m preparing this photo for after Jake proposes to Vienna:
By Gina Carbone
Does anyone want to place a purely theoretical bet with me on who will be named “The Bachelorette” on March 1?
I’m willing to bet $1,000 completely theoretical dollars that it’s Ali Fedotowsky.
But it could very well be Gia Allemand or even Tenley Molzahn.
Or, what if we’re all wrong and it’s Vienna Girardi. Ha! Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. (Wipe tears.) Ha!
Long odds there. You could make a theoretical mint.
Anyway, ABC issued a press release today with details on the season finale and “After the Final Rose” special.
IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC AND DRAMATIC NIGHTS EVER ON ABC,
ON THE SEASON FINALE OF “THE BACHELOR: ON THE WINGS OF LOVE,”
MONDAY, MARCH 1
And Immediately Following the Season Finale, Both Tenley and Vienna Join Jake
to Look Back at the Dramatic Ending to His Journey to Find Love,
on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose”
America Will Get a Sneak Peek at Next Season’s Bachelorette
“Episode 1408” – In this emotional special conclusion, Jake prepares to make one of the most difficult choices of this life. His search for love is now narrowed down to two very different women — Tenley and Vienna — and he is falling in love with both of them. Now, after having his family meet them on the exotic island of St. Lucia, he must make one final heart-wrenching decision that could change his life forever, on the season finale of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” MONDAY, MARCH 1 (8:00-10:05 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network.
With Jake’s search for his soul mate over, he talks to Chris Harrison about both Tenley and Vienna, taking us back to that final day in St. Lucia. And both women are back with Jake to discuss the dramatic outcome of this rollercoaster season. Then America will be introduced to the next “Bachelorette” who will have a chance to find her Prince Charming, on the one-hour special, “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose,” MONDAY, MARCH 1 (10:05-11:00 p.m., ET).
Jake’s family arrives in St. Lucia to meet the final two women and offer their advice. Jake is very clear on one thing: He cannot choose a woman who does not get along with this family. Tenley makes a winning impression over brunch, but she feels compelled to be honest with Jake’s mom about her past and the fact that she’s divorced. The next day, Vienna immediately admits that she didn’t get along with the other women in the house. Jake’s mom is quick to notice some warning signs about Vienna and shares them with her son. Vienna’s brutal honesty and confrontational style don’t go over well, and the family wonders if she would ever fit in with them.
The women both have one last romantic date with Jake. He takes Vienna to a steamy mud bath in St. Lucia’s volcanic sulphur springs. There’s no question that he has plenty of passion for her, but will that chemistry translate into a lifelong commitment? Now Vienna worries that she might well lose Jake.
The next day Tenley and Jake cast off in a sleek private yacht for a wonderful day of snorkeling among the dolphins in the coral reefs of St. Lucia. This time he’s worried that, although he has an incredible emotional connection with Tenley, their chemistry may be lagging behind. When he shares his concerns with her, she is hurt and anxious that she might lose Jake to Vienna.
Jake has pulled no punches in his search for true love this season, but how could that search end with two women as different as Tenley and Vienna? Both women have captured his heart and both would love to share their lives with him. How and whom will he choose? Will he prove that, this time at least, nice guys don’t finish last in love?
The remaining two women are:
Tenley, 25, a college admissions representative from Newberg, OR
Vienna, 23, a marketing representative from Sanford, FL
Hosted by Chris Harrison, “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” and “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: After the Final Rose” are productions of Next Entertainment in association with Warner Horizon Television. Mike Fleiss and Martin Hilton are the executive producers.
By Gina Carbone
If I have to suffer through two hours of this “The Bachelor on the Wings of Love: The Women Tell All” nonsense — at least half of which will be self-congratulation, and the other half a mix of self-defense and recaps of what we’ve already seen — I’m going to do it in real time.
So here’s my live blog, with classic stream-of-consciousness rambling…
***** THE RECAP CRAP *****
Chris Harrison and Jake Pavelka sat down with a steaming vat of fresh gossip (that one was for real Harry Potter fans) about “the ladies.”
They talked about the Rozlyn Papa incident and congratulated each other on how they handled it.
Chris said Rozlyn was “not the only one playing games,” and segued into a talk about Elizabeth Kitt from Nebraska.
She was too forward and played mind games. We know.
Then we got to hear about Vienna Girardi and they showed her bungee jumping clip with Jake and the subsequent upside down kiss.
Then we got to hear about Tenley Molzahn and how Jake started falling for her during their matching “kiss me” fortune cookie stuff.
Then we heard about Ali Fedotowsky leaving the show.
It’s 8:09 p.m. at this point.
Are we ever going to get to the “Women Tell All” part, or is this going to be all recap?
Jake’s going to see Ali for the first time at the “Women Tell All” (which was shot, what, two weekends ago in L.A.?)
***** BACHELOR REUNION CRUISE *****
Nearly 500 people have come on the show?
Chris talks about “Bachelor cast reunions.”
It’s kind of like a fraternity, past contestants say.
We see pool parties, crazy Erica the Tiara Girl from that awful Rome season. (She’s a lawyer now?)
Where are the cool guys? I want Graham Bunn!
They went on a “Bachelor” cruise to Mexico.
I see Robby the bartender guy from Jillian Harris’ season and Nikki and Natalie (“I love bears”) from Jason Mesnick’s season.
YES! Wes Hayden! My fave. He’s had a “thousand more nibbles” or something (meaning dates) since being dumped by Jillian Harris after Jake Pavelka told her he had a girlfriend on the show.
***** BACHELOR GIVES BACK*****
A bunch of past Bachelors give back by working with Portraits of Hope, painting murals with fifth graders to be placed at lifeguard stands up the coast.
I see Matt Grant, DeAnna Pappas, Michael Stagliano, Erica the Tiara Chick.
Stagliano (brother of Stephen Stagliano, DeAnna’s boyfriend) was made for this.
DeAnna said after the murals are on the lifeguard stands they could go to Haiti.
DeAnna got dumped by some kid named Carlos, who said he did not want to go on “The Bachelor” to find love with her. Good call, Carlos!
Then we hear more self-congratulation about how “The Bachelor” gives back. (After taking the money our eyeballs give them when we watch commercials.)
JUAN! Juan is here. He said giving back is part of “man code.” EAT IT, DAVE GOOD!
Oh, creepy Robin from Matt’s season is there, too.
Kiptyn! Kiptyn Locke was there. Nice.
***** THE WOMEN TELL ALL*****
Finally. The women come out.
Judging from the applause, the audience LOVES Ali. Gia got more tepid applause. Ali for “The Bachelorette”? Looking more like it every day.
Ashleigh confirmed that she did plan her “fall” into Jake’s arms when she came out of the limo. She got to try out his biceps.
They all laugh about how spacey Michelle is and how Tenley “fell out of a Disney movie.”
Gia made a great comment about how Tenley s–ts rainbows.
And they REALLY lit into Vienna as a white trash trailer trash wh-re. Ashleigh said that and now she regrets it.
Chris asked what was it about Vienna that everyone hated. What did she say or do to piss them off?
Ella said Vienna is 23 and she was very immature. She would do or say things that she wouldn’t think about before she did them.
***** THE WOMEN BASH ROZLYN*****
Chris said he wanted to talk about the elephant in the room, which I would’ve thought was Tenley vs. Vienna, why does he pick Vienna as we all know from the Reality Steve spoilers?
But, no, he meant Rozlyn Papa.
And lots of women had stuff to say.
“I don’t know if something sexual went on, but something went on,” Gia said.
She was Rozlyn’s roommate and Rozlyn was not sleeping in her bedroom.
Ashleigh said several of them witnessed things, the cuddling, the kissing on the forehead. They (Rozlyn and the producer, Ryan Callahan) weren’t hiding anything.
Ashleigh said she and some others went to the producers because they were uncomfortable.
Jessie said she saw something specific. One day, the day just before Rozlyn was booted off, Jessie heard something on the stairs and there was Rozlyn and the producer and she was laying on top of him and they were making out.
Ella told a story about how they were all “fixin’ to go to bed” one night and asked if Rozlyn was going. She was on all fours on the couch with her butt in the air. Rozlyn told the girls if they saw the producer to send him in because “I need to be put to bed.”
So that’s Ella’s story.
And, of course, they go to commercial after that, instead of letting Rozlyn defend herself.
And when they come back, Chris said, they would talk to Gia, the most recent one to get her heart broken. So they’re just going to let the allegations hang there with no rebuttal. Nice.
***** GIA IN THE HOT SEAT****
If Rozlyn was the elephant in the room, why didn’t you let her come out and talk about things and get it over with?
Instead, we do a Gia Allemand recap.
She wasn’t ready to watch her journey again, she said, wiping away a tear. She was just able to open up to him and he let her go, etc.
Frankly, I’m done with this part of it.
***** CRAZY MICHELLE IN THE HOT SEAT****
I do like Michelle Kujawa. She’s nuts, but that’s great.
She cried more than anyone else and was kicked out in the middle of her date with Jake.
I like watching her watch herself — at least she can laugh. She recognizes she was crazy.
Uh oh. Except she just said she wore her heart on her sleeve and she has no regrets. So maybe she doesn’t really recognize the crazy.
Michelle said she doesn’t believe this show is the right way to find love.
Ali jumped in to defend the show, saying it did work for her and she did find love.
And if you need even MORE PROOF that Ali will be the next “Bachelorette”: She called it “the process.”
That’s when you know you’ve become The Borg.
Cue all the women to say Michelle got a fair edit, she is crazy, thereby discrediting her claims that “The Bachelor” is not the right way to find love.
“I don’t need a therapist, Elizabeth,” Michelle said to Hot Nanny Elizabeth, who needs her own therapist for all the game playing.
***** ALI IN THE HOT SEAT****
More recaps, more gushing over Ali.
I forgot that she supposedly hated to fly. How did she get from Williamstown, Mass., to San Francisco if she can’t fly?
More tears. She wiped away tears watching her own exit. Loved how Jake had trouble getting her limo door closed.
Ali said she was thinking if it was really love, Jake would come find her. “He’s a pilot.”
So she was playing games, just the same as Elizabeth.
She was afraid of getting her heart broken and afraid that Jake would feel like he owed it to her to keep her.
Ali: “If I could go back and do it differently I probably would.”
Chris asked about her relationship with Vienna.
Ali said something she’s learned about herself is that she’s blunt — and not always in a good way.
She was “disappointed” in herself for the time she told Vienna she was sorry that Jake went on a one-and-one with her and she wasn’t sent home. She regrets that. “That was mean.”
She said we should all be supportive of Vienna.
“Because she’s getting trashed in the tabloids. She’s a person … no one deserves that. And, you know, honestly, like, Vienna, if you’re watching, like, I’m sorry. I mean, I’m sorry for the things I said. I’m sorry that it turned out that way. And, like, stay strong.”
Chris asks what she’s learned.
It’s true. We should stop trashing Vienna. … But I do like to read US Weekly … What to do?
ANOTHER BACHELORETTE CLUE: Ali said moving forward she’s going to put love first.
This is such an ad for Ali as the next “Bachelorette.” Makes. Me. Sick.
***** ROZLYN IN THE HOT SEAT****
I support you, Rozlyn!
Chris started by saying he has no ill will toward her and he wasn’t intending for this to turn into a he said/she said.
Rozlyn said she was prepared for a cage match.
Rozlyn met the producer, Ryan, when they filmed in her hometown.
“Is that where the relationship started?” Chris asked. Nice try at a gotcha!
Rozlyn said that’s where their friendship started, with the whole camera crew. They were “super nice.”
According to you, nothing physical happened at the house between you and the producer, Chris said to Rozlyn.
She said absolutely.
Chris asked her why didn’t she stop him during their conversation when he kicked her out.
Rozlyn said she thought it was about how she used a producer’s phone to call her child. Chris never said anything about an alleged sexual relationship. Just inappropriate behavior.
Chris asked Ella about her access to her phone. She got to talk to her son every day.
Rozlyn asked her if her ex signed release forms for him to be on TV. She said yes. Rozlyn said that makes a difference. Chris said not for phone calls.
Valishia (who?) said she talked to her kids every other day. She thinks the calling your son issue and the other issue are separate.
Chris asked if anything physical happened in the house.
Rozlyn: “Absolutely nothing.”
Chris talked about what he says to his son when he’s going on about unicorns and magical things. He says “isn’t the truth the simplest thing?”
The audience laughed and clapped. I hate the audiences they have for these things.
Chris said he’s confused because the only thing this is about is the physical relationship with the producer.
What physical relationship? Rozlyn asked.
We’ll answer that after a quick break! While I prepare my answers!
Back from break. Chris asked the women to weigh in.
Chris said Rozlyn had said they were vague before. So he wants details.
Christina said she has lots of male friends but she doesn’t touch her male friends’ thighs.
Rozlyn made faces and said “When did I touch somebody’s thigh? You guys are so silly, come on!”
Jessie said she’s not a drama queen, she doesn’t call attention to herself. She told her she saw Rozlyn and the producer kissing on the stairs.
Rozlyn: “You are so…”
She swore on her dog’s life that it happened.
Rozlyn: “I swear on my child’s life that never happened.”
The audience ooooohhhed.
Ella told her fixin’ to go to bed story again. WHY ARE WE HEARING THIS TWICE?
Rozlyn had a shocked/horrified face on during the story.
Rozlyn: “You are, oh, this is unreal. Is this the same girl that was talking about fried uterus on the show? Come on.”
Ella said don’t try to make her look bad. She is a mother and she would not make another mother look bad.
Ella said when she left that night she was worried about her.
Rozlyn: “I was already asleep. …” She said there was footage of Ashley Elmore saying she looks like a little angel.
Chris: “Did you sleep in your bed or did you sleep downstairs?”
There was one night when the girls were on their Six Flags date when she stayed on the couch.
She thought that might be after the producer was fired.
The girls said no.
That was the exact same night they saw her there, Ella said, and went to the master bedroom and asked what the hell she was talking about.
Rozlyn said she didn’t understand why the girls were talking bad about her.
Valishia said she and Rozlyn were friends. Valishia said at first she never thought it was true. But there was one night she went to bed at 7 o’clock ’cause she was sick. She got up at 4 a.m. and looked for Rozlyn and didn’t find her anywhere.
So now Valishia doesn’t believe her anymore.
Rozlyn asked about the cameras.
Rozlyn: “You have cameras all over the place and you somehow missed the biggest scandal of the season? That’s impressive.”
Chris said that’s been brought up. They’ve done this for eight or nine years now, they know what they’re going to use. Rozlyn knows very well, he said, they are not shot 24 hours a day, they don’t wear mics 24 hours a day. They have a lot of downtime.
They — especially overnight producers — know where and when the cameras will be around.
Is that not true?
Rozlyn said she didn’t know.
You were there, Rozlyn, Chris cut in.
She snapped at him — if he asks a question, he can calm down and wait for an answer.
(The audience ooohed.)
Rozlyn thought there were hidden cameras. Ali jumped in and said she’d bet her job there were no hidden cameras. (Always about you, Ali.)
Chris asked if she still has a relationship with the producer.
She said they are still friends.
She even admitted he came to her hometown and she met his dad.
It makes sense to me, since they were both thrown under a bus. They have to stick together.
Chris said, clearly this comes down to “a mountain of evidence” with multiple confessions and multiple sightings. (It’s like Bigfoot.)
Rozlyn said just because he says it doesn’t make it so.
Chris said it’s not him saying it.
Rozlyn: “Oh that’s right, you just hide behind other people’s speculation.”
Ali: “You’re saying they’re all liars, right?”
Gia: “You’re bashing a TV show that gave you an opportunity and all you had to do was say …”
Rozlyn: “I’m not bashing a TV show.”
Gia: “All you had to do was say I love this man and I’m gonna get off the show and that was it…”
Loud clapping for Gia.
THE BACHELORETTE PENDULUM SWINGS!
Chris said the producer is not a nameless man. He was a friend.
Rozlyn said that’s a surprise because the producer said they were not friends, especially when Chris was hitting on his wife in New Zealand.
Gasps from the easily led audience.
“I clearly won’t dignify that with a response,” Chris said. He said he has no ill will for Rozlyn. “I hope truly in my heart that you have learned a life lesson and I hope you will become a better person from this. I do. I wish you the best.”
Cheers from the easily led audience.
***** JAKE IN THE HOT SEAT****
Jake Pavelka comes out. Is his hair darker? I think it is. It is.
He made some weak speech about how it was his honor to be on the show with those amazing women.
Chris asked about Gia.
Jake turned to Gia.
Jake: “When we were sitting on that bench, my heart was crying.”
How are they not all snickering? Come on. “My heart was crying”?
Chris asked about Ali. Jake talked to Ali about how he hated that Ali had to make that decision. He expected Ali to jump out of the limo when she left. Just like she expected him to fly and get her? Not buying either one.
Jake said Ali is an amazing woman and she’ll always have a friend in him.
(Apparently Ali was “in the lead” before she left. As Jake supposedly told ETOnline, “That night, when she left, she was ahead of all the other women. … I can’t tell you if she was going to be The One, but, that night, if somebody had said, ‘Gun’s to your head. Pick a girl,’ it would have been her.”)
Chris asked if there’s anyone he wishes he had gotten to spend more time with.
Jake immediately said Christina and gushed about how funny she was and how she could laugh at herself. He only saw that watching the show back. It broke his heart to see her leave after seeing her like that on the show.
She was the one who called herself “bitchy.” That was her, wasn’t it? She was nasty to all the ladies? He LOVES chicks like that. Apparently.
They showed some bloopers.
Apparenty Corrie farted on the bus, among other things.
Chris said he knows Jake can’t say what happens, but “Are you happy.”
Jake, looking anything but happy: “Yes, I’m happy.”
Then he made a “glad that’s over with” type face.
***** A LOOK AT VIENNA AND TENLEY****
You’ll never guess: More recaps.
I love how the finale is being billed as “Sugar or Spice.” Hee hee!
He SHOULD pick Tenley, not least of which because she just said something about how he made her “heart smile.” They could make each other ill with that kind of talk for the rest of their lives. God love them!
I hate to say it, man, but it’s time to pull a Double Mesnick: After you pick Vienna, sob at a balcony and then trade her in for Tenley. It’s not original anymore, but that’s OK. We’ll forgive you this time.
Vienna, no hard feelings, but I’m ready for your 15 minutes to be over.
By Gina Carbone
A tabloid showdown! How darling.
In this corner we have US Weekly doing its weekly dump on Vienna Girardi of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”
RadarOnline also found some “friends” to say Vienna did not cheat on her ex-husband.
I love the balance!
RadarOnline.com said today it “has exclusively obtained new details about the arrest of Brian Lee Smith at the home of Vienna’s parents on October 10, 2009 and we’ve learned that alcohol was involved.”
I love this next subtle dig at US Weekly:
“Although some reports claim Vienna has been obsessed with Smith, the details uncovered by RadarOnline.com indicate the opposite.”
“According to the police report obtained by RadarOnline.com, Smith was at Vienna’s parent’s front door around 4 am on October 10, 2009, and when he wouldn’t leave, police were called. When officers arrived on the scene Brian Lee Smith ignored their instructions.”
(E! News also got a copy of the police report, in case you don’t trust Radar.)
RadarOnline said the incident was listed as alcohol related on the police report; the report also allegedly stated “Smith also opposed our efforts by repeatedly attempting to charge the occupied dwelling and actively made aggressive attempts to get to the front door of the house.”
Brian Lee Smith entered a Pre-Trial Diversion Program for the trespassing charge and was fined $300 plus a $50 prosecution fee, RadarOnline reported. Smith was ordered to complete 10 hours of community service and take an anger management class.
He’s also not allowed to return to Vienna’s parent’s home, so there’s no chance for Papa Vinny to catch him snuggling in bed with Vienna like her dirty prom night moment with Jake.
By the way, Jake Pavelka said he did not have sex with Vienna, Gia Allemand or Tenley Molzahn during their fantasy suite dates, which aired this past Monday.
I believe him. And for that reason — among many others — I wish he would(‘ve) pick(ed) Tenley over Vienna.