You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Dionne Warwick’ tag.

Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The Dionne witch!

Dionne Warwick to NeNe Leakes: “You’re a coward, baby.”

Oh the big, bright smile she gave when saying that. It chills me. The woman is diabolical.

God I hate passive-aggression. I can’t say I’ll miss Miss Dionne. In fact, hell with her.

And now we know his, uh, package is called "Big Wednesday." Sigh.

I love how whenever someone on “Celebrity Apprentice” wants to build up to an insult, they feel compelled to start with “Gary Busey is an incredibly talented actor…” or “I have a lot of respect for Dionne Warwick…”

BUT

He’s also crazy. Unfocused. Unstable. In his own world. Frazzled. All over the place.

She’s lazy. She walked out. She’s rude. She can’t keep up. She STILL can’t look at Marlee Matlin when talking to her.

And now Dionne is gone. She pulled a half-Niki Taylor, offering herself to be fired, but only after everyone else (including Ivanka Trump, bless her) went after her for walking out during the challenge. Then she took it back, saying she wanted to stay. But it was too late. Mr. Trump doesn’t like to be tested. No game-playing, please.

Ivanka asked Dionne if leaving early was an issue of stamina or indifference. Dionne seems oblivious to the fact that the same rules apply to everyone, including her. As project manager, NeNe Leakes should’ve told Dionne to stay. But these ladies are too passive-aggressive. And now they’ve lost three challenges in a row.

The men on the other hand, are enjoying a love fest — literally, if Richard Hatch and Jose Canseco have a few drinks and get some alone time in a dark room.

I like a risk-taker. And a good leader.

On “Off the Hook,” the teams had to create a 30-second commercial for ACN’s new video phone. The men won with a hilarious and very “risque” (the buzz word of the night) commercial featuring Jose Canseco as another guy’s fiance. It was a close vote, since the women’s commercial featuring Marlee signing had the heart-tugging feel-good factor.

NeNe volunteered to be project manager for A.S.A.P., which was smart timing since at that point the women finally realized they should at least attempt to work together instead of pulling Lisa Rinna sabotages over and over again. Plus, Niki Taylor out c-l-a-s-s-e-d them by volunteering herself to be fired (and who can blame her for wanting to walk out on them), exposing the others as catty hussies.

Speaking of hussies, Dionne put herself in the center of the commercial and everyone agreed that it was a good idea. But then the ACN guys showed up and said “emotion” 100 times and the women realized they had to do something else. Because Dionne is not really in touch with any positive emotions.

Marlee volunteered an option about a 16-year-old girl calling her family. They included an element about hearing impairment which — let’s be honest — Marlee brings up every week. Yes, she’s deaf but there’s a lot more to her than that. She needs to come up with new ideas.

After many expletives, Lil Jon agreed to be the project manager for Backbone. Jose wanted to do a commercial about contacting aliens and I’m shocked that Gary didn’t jump all over it as a great and c-l-a-s-s-y idea. Instead, Jon went for a big gay gamble … that still put Gary and Jose in the forefront.

I'd cry, too, if I had to work with Dionne.

Dionne actually said something positive about NeNe, which is just odd — considering it’s Dionne. And NeNe. Although NeNe calling her “Miss Dionne” probably squeaked those wheels. Meanwhile, La Toya Jackson suddenly went blind (which explains her Curious George outfit) and Hope Dworaczyk (WHO?) said her only skill is finding props.

Hope and Dionne went to get props and La Toya was in charge of keeping time. When they were all gone, NeNe mentioned to Marlee and Star Jones that they were the only competent people. So it’s now three against three … with the other three not really aware that they are currently on the outs.

For Backbone’s commercial, Jose played an older gay guy trying to look young. This follows Jose’s cross-dressing teacher from a couple of eps ago. Could this be his calling? Turns out, Richard Hatch thinks Jose is hot. So that fight they had on the premiere could probably be considered foreplay. (When is Hatch going to go naked like he does on “Survivor”?) My boy Mark McGrath got them a purple couch which he tried to pass off as a pink grandma couch. Sorry. My grandmothers both have more c-l-a-s-s than that.

During A.S.A.P.’s commercial production design, Dionne got testy (what are the odds?) with Marlee, which means she got testy with Marlee’s amazing interpreter because she STILL WON’T LOOK AT MARLEE when Marlee is trying to communicate with her.

At some point after that, “matriarch” Dionne took a nap. Consider it a blessing. (Did Joan Rivers nap on her way to the “Celebrity Apprentice” win two seasons ago? I feel like Annie Duke would never have let her.)

He's a good gay man.

It was good timing that she left right when Trump’s slick-haired son showed up. People have talked about Dionne in passing in the boardroom, but this is proof of her lack of contribution. Unfortunately, this just cast harsh light on NeNe as the leader. Can someone please blame Dionne for Dionne’s actions? La Toya was accused of not being able to keep time, but at least she stayed awake.

The Backbone commercial with Jose and his gay fiance and Gary in his (revealing) bath robe had the surprise and humor factor. (Hey, shock is an emotion.) The A.S.A.P. commercial was more sweet and heartfelt, with Marlee signing “I love you” to her screen daughter.

The teams had to make presentations in front of a group of ACN people that cheered for Donald Trump like a Roman gladiator when he walked into the room. NeNe was awkward in her intro, but Star was smooth … and smug. She wrote with applause points in mind and they worked.

When the men get on stage, Lil Jon shouted at them to get them fired up. I would’ve liked a nice “WHAT????” in honor of Dave Chappelle, but I’ll take what I can get. Their commercial was a huge gamble because it wasn’t middle-of-the-road stuff. It could offend a large group of customers. But it was definitely memorable.

The men’s strong point was bringing in the audience. They liked how Lil Jon included the word “viral.”  The women took the company’s task to heart. It was a close vote.

Hatch called Lil Jon the best leader. He gushed over him. It’s nice to hear some positive stuff for a change. Trump brought up the word “risque” over and over again. Lil Jon made an argument for trying something different. The company’s slogan is “no boundaries.” He put it all on black and took his own chance.

NeNe started crying when the men talked about their harmony and how they all got along. There were no weak links. Dionne said NeNe was superb. NeNe brought up how many of the women were in abusive relationships. It ties to her charity. Even Marlee said NeNe “rocks.” They are each other’s girls. Which NeNe is this? Can we get the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” in the house to give the other side? Kim?

It finally came out that Dionne left early. NeNe said she is not a babysitter. Star threw La Toya and Hope under the bus. NeNe said her son could keep the time. She rolled her eyes over La Toya. Mr. Trump loves La Toya and likes how she’s stepped up.

Trump loves La Toya and Gary. They can coast.

Once again, the women fell apart whereas the men got along.

It turns out, the men won. Which was the right call. Congrats to Lil Jon.

It was the third loss in a row for the women. Star told Mr. Trump she’s never seen a group of women pull together like this. Wow. Who is she hanging out with? All of the women I’ve met have gotten along better than this group.

Dionne — ha! ha! — tries to blame the challenge criteria. Nice try. La Toya can’t choose a weakest link. Star says Hope and La Toya have been more followers than leaders. What about Dionne? Trump asked Marlee point blank “Who doesn’t contribute?” Marlee said La Toya.

WHAT ABOUT DIONNE?

Trump asked NeNe, who can the team do without? She said Dionne. Thank heaven someone called it. She said the girls are afraid of Dionne. It’s a level of respect, Star says. But when Dionne offers herself to be fired, Star basically says she’s quitting on her charity. Star wants to have it both ways.

Trump asked Hope (WHO?) which lady he should fire. (Hope may coast to the end just because no one notices she’s there.) Hope said Dionne. That’s when Dionne held her own pity party, saying to fire her. She had to be pulled back by Trump. But it was too late.

Next week, Meat Loaf bakes Gary Busey. He goes nuts. I can’t wait to see it. I think this is my new favorite show. Don’t tell anyone.

Here’s the cast, in order of my preference:

* Mark McGrath
* John Rich
* Lil Jon
* Marlee Malin
* Meat Loaf
* Richard Hatch
* NeNe Leakes
* Jose Canseco
* Gary Busey
* La Toya Jackson
* Hope Dworaczyk (Who?)
* Star Jones
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND
* Niki Taylor — ELIMINATED 3RD
* Dionne Warwick — ELIMINATED 4TH

***

Read my “Celebrity Apprentice” recaps here.

I'm frightened of Gary Busey. He's goofy-funny in some ways, but when he gets out his crazy person growl, I worry. Why is Donald Trump so in love with him? Are they related? They both have bad hair...

God love Gary Busey, but what on Earth is he babbling about?

On “Celebrity Apprentice” episode three, “Unhappy Campers,” the laughably un-outdoorsy teams had to put on an interactive outdoor experience to promote Camping World. This is funny to me for many reasons, mostly for the idea that Donald Trump could ever really rough it in an RV.

It was also funny for Gary Busey’s introduction to the challenge boss, Marcus Lemonis of Camping World: “I know nothing’s free, but my heart to your heart is free.” (?)

How sane is Star? And how valuable is Dionne? Oh you're much too generous!

Gary always gives good, if inexplicable, value. What did he say about creating definitions for words from the letters in the words? Ivanka is right: You can’t say you’ve ever worked with someone like Gary because there are no others.

And THANK GOD for it.

Gary and Niki Taylor were the project managers. Gary is a human train wreck, but he is his team’s #1 train wreck. Other than Gary (and, to some extent, Jose Canseco’s Negative Nelly attitude), the men of Backbone are very good and want their team to win.

Niki, on the other hand, had to battle the additional challenge of Star Jones insisting she’s the only one who knows how to do anything … while insisting she won’t be taking charge. Then there’s Dionne Warwick, a patronizing naysayer who looks for fault in others while doing nothing helpful herself.

Gary and Lil Jon did not get along. Or, as Gary growled, “Lil Jon turned out to be an antagonist to me.” (Run, Lil Jon!)

Jose also decided he was against everyone and everything that was suggested. As my boy Mark McGrath put it, “I feel like you have an opinion and it’s very strong but it’s not necessarily right.” YES.

Jose didn’t want a charming little country song to go along with their RV challenge. And then Richard Hatch called country “backward” and for the “less educated.” John Rich made a huge fuss, which he kind of had to do since his own reputation was on the line. He has to represent country music fans, aka “my audience.”

Thankfully, Backbone has my boy Mark. John called him a “panicker” but I see someone actually focused on the task at hand. And I’d panic, too, if I saw Gary and Jose just sitting around during a challenge. Then playing catch. Mark seems to be the men’s saving grace — especially when Gary loves “mistakes” because they lead you figure things out another way, or something. Love Mark for taping the ball game to show at the boardroom. My boy is wicked smahhht!

I love Marlee's interpreter. I wonder what he thinks about all of this.

In short, this challenge was the ladies’ to lose. I thought Gary had set the fail bar too high, but the ladies couldn’t work together enough to get a good thing going. And The Men Minus Gary were great, even with Meat Loaf’s little presentation gaffe.

Really, Gary and Star should have their own team and name it Delusional. Star wants to be known as someone who solves problems instead of creating problems, then goes right ahead and slashes the metaphorical tires of everyone on her team. (Remember when Star said she wanted to show that women could work together? Every day is Opposite Day with Star!)

Niki decided her best strategy was to bond with fellow model Hope “Who The Hell is This Chick?” Dworaczyk. At least she would have someone on her side. She also assigned the rest of the A.S.A.P. ladies to design portions of the set-up. Good. Keep them busy.

But while she was at the printers, she got a call from Star asking for clarification about her “vision.” “Vision” has become the new code for “I’m going to bring this up at the boardroom.” Star overcomplicates everything. Because she’s looking for ways to help others fail. Because she’s a bully. No one deserves a Star working against them, especially when Dionne is right there helping her find fault.

Niki made the mistake of playing nice and saying the ladies all got along. She’s a cheerleader. She said if they lost she should go home. Marlee, on the other hand, sold out Dionne — but only to a point. Not nearly enough. And wasn’t Dionne the one who was paying her bills during the challenge? What is she doing there, by the way? Did she think because Joan Rivers won, that anyone of any age could do this? Maybe it’s true, but you have to show up and WORK not just putter around and do the bare minimum.

I wish The Donald would let people speak in the boardroom instead of interrupting them. He doesn’t seem to know what really goes on, but he rarely lets people finish their thoughts. But Marlee and Niki had the opportunity to explain Dionne’s passive-aggression and they decided to just play it safe.

Trump loves “genius” Gary. Why? Who knows. Gary says he was legally deaf and now has two hearing aids and can hear his own toenails grow. But the hearing aids haven’t checked the crazy. The crazy doesn’t wait for sound. Mark should’ve mentioned how Gary and Jose were playing catch and sitting around when they should’ve been working. Why is no one spilling the beans?

In the end, John Rich and my boy Mark held their team together and led the men to a win. Niki did herself no favors with her martyrdom cheerleading and, for that, she deserved to go home. She had a classy exit, but it was an unnecessary one. Since Dionne never should’ve been there to begin with, she was my #1 pick to be fired. Get. Rid. Of. Her. Now.

ASSESSMENT

Right now I like Mark, John, Lil Jon and Meal Loaf on the men’s side — in that order — and Marlee and La Toya on the women’s side.

Here’s the cast, in order of my preference:

* Mark McGrath
* John Rich
* Marlee Matlin
*  Lil Jon
* Meat Loaf
* La Toya Jackson
* Hope Dworaczyk (Who?)
* Richard Hatch
* NeNe Leakes
* Gary Busey
* Jose Canseco
* Star Jones
* Dionne Warwick
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND
* Niki Taylor — ELIMINATED 3RD

***

Read my “Celebrity Apprentice” stories here.

Mark and Marlee could go far. Dionne, it seems, can't efficiently run a cash register or speak directly to someone who is deaf. She's just arrogant as hell.

Was it Gary Busey who just compared Mark McGrath to the hood ornament on your car of creativity? Or something?

Whatever was said, I agree. Last week on “The Celebrity Apprentice” premiere, Mark stood out to me with his positive energy — for everyone on team Backbone — during the pizza challenge. This week the children’s book story — based around Lil Jon, which is hilarious — was his idea. Everyone seems to like him and he’s a creative, likable guy who knows how to stay on task. If he stays on this track, he should win.

Never let these two crazy fools work together.

John Rich is another standout. He raised a lot of money last week and he’s a creative force this week. Jose Canseco is annoying. The sooner he’s fired the better. Gary Busey is a homeless drama queen. There are as many divas on the men’s side as the women’s.

I felt sorry for Meat Loaf when he screwed up the logistics, but things turned out well for him in the end.

(Although, I’m all set with all this tearful “Thank you, Mr. Trump!” gushing. Mr. Trump wasted a full minute talking abou Lisa Rinna’s lip reduction and how much he effing hates tattoos. Mr. Trump is what we generously call “eccentric.”)

Meanwhile, the women of A.S.A.P. are imploding. They bullied and sabotaged Lisa Rinna and tried to make her fail, which was both stupid and sad. It seems like only last week that the increasingly insufferable Star Jones made her heartfelt speech about how women can work well together. Not quite.

I’m tired of Star, but I think she’s sticking around. She’s the head mean girl. She raised more than $40,000 last week and that definitely displayed some staying power. Dionne Warwick, on the other hand, is useless. She needs to leave now. I can’t believe how rude Dionne was to Marlee Matlin. Dionne wouldn’t even look at Marlee. So deafness is not the right kind of diversity for Dionne? Wow. I lost total respect for her.

I like the idea of LaToya Jackson as a lion. That’s fine, even if a shy lion isn’t that original. They could jazz it up. The group didn’t have to go with hearing impairment, but the idea that it’s too heavy or hard to understand is truly ignorant.

Star Jones is the Queen B*tch of this season, with NeNe Leakes as her toadie.

Anyway, I’m really starting to love “The Celebrity Apprentice.” I have fond memories of the showdown between Joan Rivers and Annie Duke. I predict just as many below-the-belt insults this season.

Here are the celebs of Apprentice, in order of my preference:

* Mark McGrath
* John Rich
* Marlee Matlin
* Meat Loaf
* Niki Taylor
*  Lil Jon
* La Toya Jackson
* Richard Hatch
* NeNe Leakes
* Gary Busey
* Hope Dworaczyk (Who?)
* Jose Canseco
* Star Jones
* Dionne Warwick
* David Cassidy — ELIMINATED 1ST
* Lisa Rinna — ELIMINATED 2ND

***

Read my “Celebrity Apprentice” recaps here.

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