What women want is not to have their boyfriend or husband designing their garments. Because, chances are, most of them are designing for the little man downstairs. Like Anthony The Human Stereotype, who tells Bert he is a “booby monster” and that his special lady friend is “a hot piece of tushie.” He even motorboats a mannequin with excitement. Bada bing!
On “Project Runway” Season 9 Episode 8, “What Women Want,” the designers had men as their clients, but they had to design for the men’s wives or girlfriends. (It’d be awesome if one of the guys had both — and the wife and mistress got into a brawl on the runway.)
Good for drama, bad for the designers. Every season the designers hate the “real woman” type challenges, because the human body scares them.
Olivier’s model also has “ginormous” boobs and he doesn’t like that. “Those boobs to me are trouble.” Ha! He also doesn’t like fat people. Or clients who speak. And his clients don’t like what he does. I never like what he does. Olivier is hilarious, though. The stuff he says in his deadpan drone! Love hearing him swear. It’s like hearing your quiet alien grandpa swear.
Bryce starts crying because he misses his boyfriend. And because he hasn’t won a challenge yet. And because his client loves pink. Josh is unhappy because his clients want things to be simple and there’s nothing simple about him or his aesthetic. However, his simple black dress is stunning. Good for him. For once. Laura Kathleen thinks his dress is too simple, but she’s in Barbie mode and I liked Josh’s look much more than hers. Her client’s wife is an older version of a Barbie doll. She’s a classic Real Housewife type which, Laura notes, is the kind of woman who often has the money to buy clothes. So she’s the perfect test client.
Viktor is on to something. He’s like this dark horse that is slowly getting better each week. He didn’t start strong, but he’s doing well now. And the top 9 Season 9 designer just showed at Fashion Week and Viktor’s collection was pretty good. I didn’t care for most of the collections, but his is growing on me.
My boy Anthony Ryan had a nice idea — recreating the favorite dress his client lost at one point. I think that’s sweet. However, he is a designer on a competitive TV show and just recreating an old-fashioned dress may not have been the best idea.
ON THE RUNWAY
Laura Kathleen — Total Real Housewives of Beverly Hills look. Or RH of anywhere. As classy as a braless dress that shows off the ta-tas can be. JUDGES: SAFE (She wasn’t happy to be “safe.” Did she expect to be in the top 3? With that?)
Anthony Ryan — He likes the way the red pops but he wishes there were more of himself in the dress. Me, too. Nice idea, but it’s about you as much as the client and his wife. JUDGES: LOWER SCORES. The client explains the “favorite dresses” story. Malin said the first thing she thought it was her old cheerleading outfit or she’s a cigarette girl. It doesn’t look hip to Heidi. The white belt makes her look boxy and with no waist, Nina said. Nina is shocked that Anthony thought that white belt looked good. Heidi calls it “super safe and super boring.” They think it’s an ugly uniform dress. Uh oh.
Bert — Short tight shiny Jersey Shore look, but with a touch of Bert’s class. JUDGES: LOWER SCORES. The clients love it. They don’t know why they are at the bottom. MK said it was made beautifully and cut well, but it looks like a dress that you could buy at a million stores. It shows off her boobs but it’s not creative. Nina pulls her short, tight, shiny line as I knew she would!
Joshua — That black dress that I love with blue shoes. I like it. The shoes and all. I really do. JUDGES: HIGHER SCORES. Heidi is shocked that Josh did not “bedazzle” her. He nailed it. Michael Kors says she looks like a modern Grace Kelly. And he loves the shoes, too. Nina says “wow.” WINNER
Bryce — It’s just all pink. Too much pink, although a cute-ish style otherwise. Not too exciting. JUDGES: LOWER SCORES. Nina says there are too many details from the pockets and the lines in the back and the belt. The dress is wearing her. There’s too much going on. Malin likes the pockets. True! More dresses need pockets. Malin said it doesn’t look like it was made well for her. Heidi only likes the color. The pockets are too big. You don’t want that stuff on your thighs. MK said the tailoring is so off. “It looks like she slept in the car on the way to the wedding.” HE’S OUT.
Kimberly — I love her model. She’s working it. But I don’t think the skirt is flattering. Then again, baby got booty for real. She’s showing it off, as she should. JUDGES: SAFE
Olivier — We’ve seen that top before, haven’t we? This looks a lot like Kimberly’s gold winning look for Nina Garcia. JUDGES: SAFE
Anya — Very busy asymmetrical outfit. Not into it. JUDGES: HIGHER SCORES. Really? Come on. Their Anya favoritism is getting old. Bert compared the sleeve to a hostess from the Tiki Tiki lounge. It looks like a cougar jungle look. Trashy. Nina loves the print, but not the sleeve. It was the model’s choice to hide one arm. Malin Akerman likes the sleeve and would wear this on the red carpet.
Viktor — Love this! Love his model, too. It’s so him. JUDGES: HIGHER SCORES. His model is an attorney and the couple is so cute and quirky. Love the necklace he added, too. MK said she didn’t need the bag. Nina called it “charming” but she could lose the glasses.
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