The hypnotic "Beetlejuice" carnival pants stood out to me right away — when I first saw these garments in June — but now I also like the skirt and the red dress. Everything on the right, really. What is that random ugly cupcake dress to Heidi's right?

I’m sorry, was this episode called “Go Big Or Go Home” or not? Can anyone explain the point of having stilts and a huge outdoor crowd as part of the challenge if the designers who utilized those “larger than life” elements were punished?

It seems like the ones who went big — like Josh & Julie, most of all — were mocked for being too “costumey,” whereas boring ready-to-wear junk — like the sheer matron receptionist with alien hair that Cecilia & Danielle barfed up — were rewarded. They had to be kidding to have that look in the top three. That was chic?

And as much as I’m glad that Anthony Ryan’s gorgeous red dress won this week, I’m pissed that he was all Gryffindor about letting Laura take the win. So now three weeks in a  row he should’ve won and didn’t.

Since this was the first outdoor show in “Project Runway” history, photos and intel have been out about it since June. I already formed my opinion right from the images, but my thoughts changed a bit watching the actual Season 9, Episode 3.

I love having those kinds of *spoilers* ’cause you can see the process in reverse. It’s like taking a watch apart to see the gears. It’s also interesting to see who did what, after the fact. I loved the ballet skirt garment — from afar —and couldn’t believe Bryce “Wee-Wee Pads” Black and Fallene “Yep, You’re Right, I Suck” Wells were the ones to make it. Until I saw it up close.

But I can’t get over the gall Bryce had to act like he knew everything and had to hold Fallene’s hand. Did he not see what he made last week? But Fallene is too insecure and emotional for this show and I’m glad she’s gone. I don’t know if it’s because she’s self-taught — although half of them seem to be self-taught — or just lacks the necessary self-esteem.

And her tears. I won’t miss her tears. Why is there always at least one big crier?

"Beetlejuice" pants!

For the challenge, the designers had to perform in teams of two (dun dun DUN) without choosing their partners (DUN DUN DUN!!!) to design for stilt-walkers. They had $500 to spend at Mood. What’s with the huge budgets? Last week it was $300 at the pet store. Huh. Then they had to have their stuff shown at Battery Park.

Here are the teams:

Bert Keeter & Viktor Luna
Anthony Ryan Auld & Laura Kathleen
Joshua McKinley & Julie Tierney
Danielle Everine & Cecilia Motwani
Anya Ayoung-Chee & Olivier Green
Kimberly Goldson & Becky Ross
• Bryce Black & Fallene Wells

Bert is apparently a pretentious Bertzilla diva, although pretty much all the guys were catty trash-talkers who dissed their partners behind their backs. Viktor was definitely no better.

Well, not all the guys were catty. For some reason Anya and Olivier were considered a “dream team.” Team Accent! (By the way, is it pronounced Oliver like Oliver Twist or Olivier like Laurence Olivier? Why does nothing about this guy make sense?) I didn’t care too much for what they made, but I’m not surprised to feel that way either. I think he is definitely overrated as a designer and she is good but not consistent.

Speaking of consistent, my #1 boyfriend Anthony Ryan Auld and his lovely partner Laura Kathleen got along great and made that beautiful red dress with shoulder pads that Tim Gunn said were “right on trend.” I hate trends, but PR loves when people are “right on trend.”

This is a terrible photo of my TV but it actually improves the garment and hair. I am not crazy to think this was a miss. I'm blaming Michael Kors.

ON THE RUNWAY

Josh & Julia — Up close, I love the details on the pant design. It’s a bedazzled Spanish matador outfit. I love it, but the model seemed to have trouble walking in it. JUDGES: Lower scores. Really?! Josh said ready-to-wear was appreciated more than costumes, even though it’s a larger-than-life challenge. Blame MICHAEL KORS. For everything. As he says “drama doesn’t mean tacky.” He said it’s another Halloween costume. Nina said it looks well-made, though. I wish they had made it clear the point of the challenge was to pretend the stilts and crowd didn’t even exist. What a waste.

Bert & Viktor — Fug. JUDGES: Lower scores. MK said it was like the wallpaper and curtains at a tacky catering hall. True. Kim said it looked like curtains, like in the Sound of Music. Now Bert and Viktor are fighting over who is responsible for the mess. Bert said Viktor didn’t sketch the look, he made Bert do it?

Bryce & Fallene — Oh, up close the hat clashes with the belt. JUDGES: Lower scores. Heidi said they literally gave her “Black Swan.” Kim said there was no effort. The model is wearing the kind of tank top that Kim wears to bed. She thinks they could’ve done it in 15 minutes. MK liked Fallene’s hat, though. Fallene throws herself under the bus again.

Becky & Kimberly — This outfit is great, but the model ruins it by making it look like it was hard to walk in. Borrowed stilts suck! JUDGES: Higher scores. Heidi was very impressed with the outfit. They tailored the pants but it was still a show-stopper. They are kick-ass tailors and cut a mean pant, MK said. The model does have a good tattoo. Nina loves the pants, too. Her only detail issue is the half collar. It looks a bit circus-y — which should’ve been a bonus. Sorry, but what the hell was the point of this challenge if not to make good use of the elements? They usually bash designers for being too safe when it comes to the super-creative challenges and this week only the safe ones are being praised.

Anya & Olivier — Boring. JUDGES: Safe. Very safe, really. Dull as dishwater.

Cecilia & Danielle — Oh I don’t like this one at all up close. The hair is sci-fi Mad Men evil queen. JUDGES: Higher scores. REALLY?! They liked this and not the Beetlejuice pants? Kim loves this look too. Insane. She looks like a matron receptionist. Nina said the challenge was about drama and this was too quiet. Michael loved that they used chiffon. Please.

Anthony & Laura — YES! Three in a row for my boy. This guy can’t miss. He should win one, finally. AND he works well with a partner. JUDGES: High scores. Heidi liked it and said it was dramatic enough. Kim Kardashian loved this look. She loved the color and the detailing. It looked elegant and not costumey. Nina liked it too and liked how the wind made it move. Her worry is that it’s a little referential and she thinks he’s not original enough. Are. You. Kidding. Me? This is from Nina? And what did Anthony just say? If they win, she gets to take it? But he’s already long overdue for a win.

WHO GOES HOME?

It’s down to Fallene vs. Viktor.

Bryce just dodges bullets left and right, doesn’t he?

Fallene was out. She made the only part of the garment that they liked — the hat — but she’s out anyway. Because Bryce has “spunk”? Ugh. Fallene was glad to go. No more tears.

NEXT WEEK

Oh, now Nina is going to be the client! Because it wasn’t bad enough when Heidi was the client half a dozen times. Free labor!

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