More TMI from Phillip: "I enjoy being on the bottom." Hey now!

I lack a feather — and therefore the courage, determination and knowledge of when to hold my tongue — so I’m going to go ahead and agree with David’s assessment of Phillip: “You sound like a lunatic.”

Oh, David. I wish your Rob vote had counted four times. ‘Cause now things are downright boring. Ometepe Cult vs. Zapatera Zzzzs. Phillip’s crazy babbling and Rob’s mafia plotting have taken over “Survivor” and sucked all the air out of the island. No one else is on the show, it seems, including the people who actually win the challenges and get voted to Matt’s Island.

Make a move, Grant. Make a move.

There were two Tribal Councils on “The Buddy System” episode of “Survivor: Redemption Island.”

My great-great grandfather was not a full-blooded Cherokee and he did not come to me in a meditation with a spoiler on what would happen, but it was pretty clear that Mike would be the first one heading to Redemption Island to face Matt/Jesus.

It was the Ometepe Six against the Zapatera five and nobody flipped after the first challenge, which Gorgeous Grungy Grant won over David and Mike.

The Mariano Crime Syndicate put out a hit on Mike, the guy they considered their biggest physical threat and also the guy with the best chance to take out Matt/Jesus, who is like the landlord of Redemption Island. He should just charge rent whenever anyone stops by.

The second challenge was an immunity or food challenge and Phillip and Steve immediately decided to eat burgers instead of hang on a pole. (Burgers > a scoop of the crispy brown rice?) Rob was the first one out of the challenge, which was a total waste since he got no immunity and no food. Andrea won immunity, but only because Ashley and Natalie decided they could just give up. Their objective was just to beat David and they did it.

The Robfather said the second Tribal Council vote was down to strategic David vs. T-Rex Steve, who apparently wants to go home. (Why haven’t we heard about this yet? Too much time spent on Phillip and Stealth R Us?) David ended up going to Redemption Island, too. So now it’s a hoppin’ joint!

The Robfather has decided Phillip is a loyal soldier, and after Natalie tattled on her buddy Ashley’s “I’d vote for you over Rob” conversation with Ralph, Rob decided Phillip and Natalie would go with him to the final three. The ego. The arrogance. Someone needs to check it.

Phillip, bless him, isn’t a complete drone. He’s “a smart guy and a complex person” (or at least one of the two) and he claims he’s preparing to make a move on Rob. It’s just a matter of when.

Rob wants to run “his” tribe like an Army. He controls their diet, including fish. But Grant is hungry. I’d like him to be hungrier for a big move in this game, but I think I’m going to have to wait.

Rob made “his” tribe use “the buddy system” (hence the ep title) and they are not allowed to talk to anyone else alone. “It’s cult-like” is right. David gets it. They have The Fear in them because of the Matt decision — if you waver in loyalty, he’ll take you out in a boat and kill you.

Julie also gets it. Matt is a good guy, a nice person who thought Ometepe was his home but they cut his throat like it was nothing. They are an island mafia and it would be impressive if Rob weren’t the only one appearing to make any moves. If anyone else gets to the end, how can we even decide who to vote for? Would any of the Zaps even vote for Rob? Even though he isn’t blindsiding them, he’s controlling everyone in a way that seems to be ticking them off. Only David and Mike seem truly impressed. Ralph has decided he would vote for Ashley over Rob. Did he mean it? COULD anyone mean it?

I understand wanting to wipe out Zapatera, but think of the jury. Wouldn’t they love and appreciate a Rob blindside? If Grant made a move like that, let’s say, wouldn’t the jury appreciate that more than blind loyalty, even when it comes to eating habits? No one can respect that in the end.

It’s hard to know who is winning — or even in — this game, other than Rob. But one thing is clear: Jeff Probst and the producers/editors love Phillip a little too much. Other people are on the island, too, you know!


Catch up on my “Survivor” stories in this archive.

These people are playing the game:

Ometepe Tribe

* Grant Mattos, 29, West Hollywood; former NFLer, yoga instructor
* Phillip Sheppard, 52, Santa Monica; technology executive
* Natalie Tenerelli, 19, Acton, Calif.; professional dancer
* Ashley Underwood, 25, Benton, Maine; nurse
* Andrea Boehlke, 21, Random Lake, Wis.; student
* “Boston Rob” Rob Mariano
* Francesca Hogi, 36, Washington D.C.; attorney— 1st sent to Redemption Island
* Matt Elrod, 22, Nashville; pre-med student — 2nd sent to Redemption Island, first to be “redeemed,” 8th sent to Redemption Island
* Kristina Kell, 46, Malibu; law student — 4th sent to Redemption Island

Zapatera Tribe

* Ralph Kiser, 44, Lebanon, Va.; farmer
* Julie Wolfe, 50, Oceanside, Calif.; firefighter
* Steve Wright, 51, Huntington Beach, Calif.; former NFL player
* Russell Hantz — 3rd sent to Redemption Island
* Krista Klumpp, 25, Columbia, S.C.; pharmaceutical rep. — 5th sent to Redemption Island
* Stephanie Valencia, 25, Long Beach, Calif.; waitress — 6th sent to Redemption Island
* Sarita White, 36, Santa Monica; visual effects producer — 7th sent to Redemption Island, aka “Matt’s Island”
* Mike Chiesl, 31, Del Mar, Calif.; former Marine — 9th sent to Redemption Island
* David Murphy, 31, West Hollywood; defense attorney — 10th sent to Redemption Island