Did you know I was married to Sean Bean for a while? Yeah, he didn't know either. Here he is in "Game of Thrones," which is like watching him in "The Lord of the Rings" all over again.

I don’t understand why “Project Runway” and “Mad Men” can’t be more like “Top Chef.” It seems like “Top Chef” is constantly serving up fresh seasons. They’ve got another “Top Chef Masters” starting this week, even though my boy Richard Blais just won the “All-Stars” season last week. No complaints. I just wish other shows did that. PR should at least premiere by the end of the year. “Mad Men” is a total disappointment right now. Nothing until 2012, which is a total cop out since we all know the world is ending in 2012.

Anyway, I’m going to try to watch “The Borgias” and “Game of Thrones” and compare Showtime and HBO’s latest attempts to tell vaguely similar stories in vaguely similar ways.

Here’s the full April schedule as copied wholesale from the lovely and amazing AOL TV Squad:

Friday, April 1
8:00 – ‘Chaos’ (CBS) series premiere
8:00 – ‘Star Wars: The Clone Wars’ (Cartoon Network) 3rd season finale
8:00 – ‘Working Class’ (CMT) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘I Was Conned’ (ID) special presentation
9:30 – ‘Say Yes to the Dress: Randy Knows Best’ (TLC) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Camelot’ (Starz) series premiere
10:00 – ‘The Haunted’ (Animal Planet) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘The Soup Awards’ (E!) special presentation

Saturday, April 2
6:00 – ‘NCAA Men’s Final Four’ (CBS) special presentation
8:00 – ‘How Do I Look?’ (Style) 12th season premiere
8:00 – ‘2011 Kid’s Choice Awards’ (Nickelodeon) special presentation
8:00 – ‘The Best of the American Comedy Awards’ (TV Land) special presentation
8:30 – ‘NCAA Men’s Final Four’ (CBS) special presentation
8:30 – ‘Curb Appeal’ (HGTV) 3rd season premiere
9:00 – ‘Style Star’ (Style) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘My Ghost Story’ (Biography) 2nd season premiere
11:00 – ‘Purgatory’ (A&E) special presentation

Sunday, April 3
7:00 – ‘Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom’ (Animal Planet) 9th season premiere
8:00 – ‘Bert the Conqueror’ (Travel) 2nd season premiere
8:00 – ‘The 46th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards’ (CBS) special presentation
8:00 – ‘The Kennedys’ (Reelz) mini-series premiere
9:00 – ‘The Borgias’ (Showtime) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Game of Thrones: Preview’ (HBO) special presentation
9:00 – ‘The Killing’ (AMC) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Kourtney & Kim Take New York’ (E!) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Last Cake Standing’ (Food) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘River Monsters: The Deadliest’ (Animal Planet) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Strange Sex’ (TLC) 2nd season premiere
10:30 – ‘Holly’s World’ (E!) 2nd season finale

Monday, April 4
12:00AM – ‘Superjail!’ (Adult Swim) 2nd season premiere
8:00PM – ‘Intervention In-Depth: Pregnant and Addicted’ (A&E) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Taking on Tyson’ (Animal Planet) 1st season finale
8:00 – ‘NCAA Pre-Game’ (TruTV) special presentation
8:00 – ‘WWE 2011 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony’ (USA) special presentation
8:45 – ‘The Problem Solverz’ (Cartoon Network) series premiere
9:00 – ‘NCAA Men’s Championship’ (CBS) special presentation
9:00 – ‘His Way’ (HBO) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Kidnapped by the Kids’ (OWN) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Relapse’ (A&E) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Harry’s Law’ (NBC) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Heavy: Where Are They Now?’ (A&E) special presentation
10:30 – ‘Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory’ (MTV) 4th season premiere
11:00 – ‘WWE Tough Enough’ (USA) 5th season premiere

Tuesday, April 5
8:00 – ‘No Ordinary Family’ (ABC) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘Deadliest Catch: Best of Season 6’ (Discovery) special presentation
9:00 – ‘The Real Housewives of Miami: Reunion’ (Bravo) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Addicted to Food’ (OWN) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Auction Hunters’ (Spike) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Cuff Me If You Can’ (ID) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Jersey Cheer’ (Lifetime) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Lights Out’ (FX) series finale
10:00 – ‘Pregnant in Heels’ (Bravo) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Teen Mom: Finale Special: Check-Up with Dr. Drew’ (MTV) special presentation
10:30 – ‘Let’s Stay Together’ (BET) 1st season finale

Wednesday, April 6
8:00 – ‘Scream: The Inside Story’ (Biography) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Earth Made of Glass’ (HBO2) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Extreme Couponing’ (TLC) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Weird Warfare’ (History) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Mythbusters’ (Discovery) 9th season mid-season premiere
9:30 – ‘Breaking In’ (Fox) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Glamour Belles’ (Lifetime) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Off the Map’ (ABC) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Top Chef: Reunion Special’ (Bravo) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings’ (Oxygen) series premiere
10:30 – ‘Workaholics’ (Comedy Central) series premiere
11:00 – ‘Top Chef Masters’ (Bravo) 3rd season premiere

Thursday, April 7
7:00 – ‘Out of the Wild’ (Discovery) 2nd season finale
9:00 – ‘Police Women’ (TLC) 6th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Bear Whisperer’ (Animal Planet) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Mounted in Alaska’ (History) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew’ (MTV) 6th season premiere
10:00 – ‘The Real Housewives of New York City’ (Bravo) 4th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Top 20 Most Shocking’ (TruTV) 4th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Unleashed: K-9 Broward County’ (TLC) series premiere
10:30 – ‘Secret Diary of a Call Girl’ (Showtime) 4th season premiere
11:00 – ‘Gigolos’ (Showtime) series premiere

Friday, April 8
8:00 – ‘The Singing Bee’ (CMT) 3rd season premiere
8:00 – ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ (NBC) 2nd season finale
9:00 – ‘CMT’s Next Superstar’ (CMT) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Law & Order: UK’ (BBC America) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘Merlin’ (Syfy) 3rd season finale
10:00 – ‘Tiger Man of Africa’ (National Geographic) series premiere
10:30 – ‘DC Cupcakes’ (TLC) 2nd season finale

Saturday, April 9
9:30AM – ‘Sym-Bionic Titan’ (Cartoon Network) 1st season finale
8:00PM – ‘How Big Can It Get?’ (National Geographic Wild) series premiere
8:00 – ‘It’s Me or the Dog’ (Animal Planet) 3rd season mid-season premiere
9:00 – ‘Being Human’ (BBC America) 3rd season finale
9:00 – ‘Ferocious Planet’ (Syfy) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Colin Quinn: Long Story Short’ (HBO) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Oddities’ (Science) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ (TLC) special presentation

Sunday, April 10
6:00 – ‘Inside the Vault’ (WGN) 1st season finale
8:00 – ‘Human Planet’ (Discovery) series premiere
8:00 – ‘My Future Boyfriend’ (ABC Family) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Secret Millionaire’ (ABC) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘The Comedy Awards’ (CMT/Comedy Central/Logo/Nick-at-Nite/Spike/TV Land) special presentation
9:00 – ‘The Judds’ (OWN) series premiere
9:00 – ‘The Kennedys’ (Reelz) mini-series finale
9:00 – ‘Mildred Pierce’ (HBO) mini-series finale
9:00 – ‘Shark Men’ (National Geographic) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Inspector America’ (History) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Khloe & Lamar’ (E!) series premiere
10:00 – ‘River Monsters’ (Animal Planet) 3rd season premiere
10:30 – ‘The Dance Scene’ (E!) series premiere

Monday, April 11
6:00 – ‘Seriously Funny Kids’ (Lifetime) 1st season finale
8:00 – ‘Civil Warriors’ (National Geographic) series premiere
8:00 – ‘House’ (Fox) 150th episode
8:00 – ‘Intervention In-Depth: Hillbilly Heroin’ (A&E) special presentation
9:00 – ‘The Bad Girls Club’ (Oxygen) 100th episode
9:00 – ‘Being Human’ (Syfy) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives’ (Food) 11th season finale
9:00 – ‘Law & Order: Los Angeles’ (NBC) 1st season mid-season premiere
10:00 – ‘All About Aubrey’ (Oxygen) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘The NewNowNext Awards’ (Logo) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Paranormal State’ (A&E) 6th season premiere

Tuesday, April 12
8:00 – ‘Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution’ (ABC) 2nd season premiere
9:00 – ‘Braxton Family Values’ (WE) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Deadliest Catch’ (Discovery) 7th season premiere
9:30 – ‘Playdates’ (Lifetime) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Royally Mad, Part 1’ (BBC America) special presentation
10:00 – ‘I (Almost) Got Away With It’ (ID) 3rd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Cheer! Mini All-Stars’ (Lifetime) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Sinbad: It’s Just Family’ (WE) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Toya’ (BET) series premiere
10:30 – ‘Sports Show with Norm MacDonald’ (Comedy Central) series premiere

Wednesday, April 13
8:30 – ‘Throwdown with Bobby Flay’ (Food) 9th season finale
9:00 – ‘Countdown to Zero’ (History) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Shedding for the Wedding’ (The CW) 1st season finale
9:30 – ‘The Franchise: A Season with the San Francisco Giants’ (Showtime) series premiere
9:30 – ‘Happy Endings’ (ABC) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Nothing Personal’ (ID) 1st season finale

Thursday, April 14
8:30 – ‘The Paul Reiser Show’ (NBC) series premiere

Friday, April 15
8:00 – ‘Lemonade Mouth’ (Disney) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Friday Night Lights’ (NBC) 5th season premiere
9:00 – ‘Hooked’ (National Geographic) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Killer Outbreaks’ (Animal Planet) series premiere
9:00 – ‘The Ricky Gervais Show’ (HBO) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘American Restoration’ (History) 1st season mid-season premiere
10:00 – ‘Sanctuary’ (Syfy) 3rd season mid-season premiere
10:30 – ‘The Whitest Kids U’Know’ (IFC) 5th season premiere

Saturday, April 16
8:00 – ‘HGTV Green Home 2011 in Stapleton Colorado’ (HGTV) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Truth Be Told’ (Fox) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Beverly Lewis’ the Shunning’ (Hallmark) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Aries Spears: Hollywood, Look I’m Smiling’ (Showtime) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Parking Wars’ (A&E) 5th season premiere

Sunday, April 17
8:00 – ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ (ABC) 8th season mid-season premiere
8:00 – ‘Mob Wives’ (VH1) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Audrina’ (VH1) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe’ (USA) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Game of Thrones’ (HBO) series premiere
9:00 – ‘2011 TV Land Awards’ (TV Land) special presentation
9:30 – ‘Saddle Ranch’ (VH1) series premiere
10:00 – ‘On the Case with Paula Zahn’ (ID) 4th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Police POV’ (TruTV) series premiere

Monday, April 18
8:00 – ‘Intervention In-Depth: Heroin Highway’ (A&E) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Wild Case Files’ (National Geographic Wild) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘William & Kate’ (Lifetime) special presentation
10:00 – ’20/20: William & Catherine: A Modern Fairy Tale’ (ABC) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too’ (Oxygen) 2nd season premiere
11:00 – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: William & Kate, a Love Story’ (Lifetime) special presentation

Tuesday, April 19
10:00 – ’16 & Pregnant’ (MTV) 3rd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Royally Mad, Part 2’ (BBC America) special presentation
10:00 – ‘National Geographic Explorer’ (National Geographic) 7th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Hogs Gone Wild’ (Discovery) 1st season mid-season premiere
10:00 – ‘Parenthood’ (NBC) 2nd season finale
10:30 – ‘Dresscue Me’ (Planet Green) series premiere

Wednesday, April 20
9:00 – ‘Ghost Hunters’ (Syfy) 7th season premiere
9:00 – ‘Jesus: The Lost 40 Days’ (History) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Cold Blood’ (ID) 3rd season mid-season premiere
10:00 – ‘Hoarding: Buried Alive’ (TLC) 2nd season finale
10:30 – ‘Glamour Belles’ (Lifetime) 1st season finale
11:00 – ‘Being Erica’ (SOAPnet) 3rd season finale

Thursday, April 21
9:00 – ‘Call Me Fitz’ (DirecTV) series premiere
9:00 – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: A Tale of Two Princesses’ (Lifetime) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Archer’ (FX) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘Bear Whisperer’ (Animal Planet) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: Kate’s Gown of Renown’ (Lifetime) special presentation

Friday, April 22
12:00AM – ‘Eagleheart’ (Adult Swim) 1st season finale
8:00PM – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: Feast Fit’ (Lifetime) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Girls Night Out: Superstar Women of Country’ (CBS) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’ (TeenNick) 10th season finale
9:00 – ‘Dual Survival’ (Discovery) 2nd season premiere
9:00 – ‘Talking Funny’ (HBO) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: A Day to Remember’ (Lifetime) special presentation
9:30 – ‘Gigantic’ (TeenNick) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Ice Pilots’ (National Geographic) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: The Future King & Queen’ (Lifetime) special presentation

Saturday, April 23
9:00 – ‘Cinema Verite’ (HBO) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Doctor Who’ (BBC America) 6th season premiere
9:00 – ‘Roadkill’ (Syfy) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Jon Lovitz Presents’ (Showtime) special presentation

Sunday, April 24
7:00 – ‘Charles and Di: Once Upon a Time’ (TLC) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Beyond the Blackboard’ (CBS) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Human Planet’ (Discovery) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘Untold Stories of a Royal Bridesmaid’ (TLC) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Japan Superquake’ (Discovery) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Royally Astounding: 30 Defining Days of the Monarchy’ (TLC) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Treme’ (HBO) 2nd season premiere
11:00 – ‘After Lately’ (E!) 1st season finale

Monday, April 25
10:00 – ‘Wild About Prince Harry’ (TLC) special presentation
10:30 – ‘Unleashed: K-9 Broward County’ (TLC) 1st season finale
11:30 – ‘Setup Squad’ (Logo) series premiere

Tuesday, April 26
9:00 – ‘Destination Truth’ (Syfy) 4th season finale
9:00 – ‘The Voice’ (NBC) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen’ (Syfy) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Top Shot’ (History) 2nd season finale
11:00 – ‘Top Shot: Behind the Bullet’ (History) special presentation

Wednesday, April 27
8:00 – ‘William & Kate: Inside the Royal Wedding’ (NBC) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files’ (Syfy) 2nd season mid-season finale
10:00 – ‘South Park’ (Comedy Central) 15th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Extreme Royal Collections’ (TLC) special presentation

Thursday, April 28
8:00 – ‘The Making of a Royal Wedding’ (TLC) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Countdown to the Royal Wedding’ (TLC) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Break It Down’ (National Geographic) 2nd season premiere
11:00 – ‘Son of a Gun’ (MTV) series premiere

Friday, April 29
5:00AM – ‘Royal Wedding Live Coverage’ (TLC) special presentation
8:00PM – ‘The Royal Wedding: A New Generation’ (CBS) special presentation
8:00 – ‘Kathy Griffin’s Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding’ (TV Guide) special presentation
9:00 – ‘Python Hunters’ (National Geographic Wedding) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Bar Karma’ (Current TV) 1st season finale
10:00 – ‘Fashion Police: Royal Wedding’ (E!) special presentation
10:00 – ‘FBI: Criminal Pursuit’ (ID) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ (TLC) 2nd season premiere

Saturday, April 30
8:00 – ‘Fight Camp 360°: Pacquiao vs. Mosley’ (CBS) special presentation
8:00 – ‘NASCAR: Richmond Cup’ (Fox) special presentation
10:00 – ‘Too Cute! Kittens’ (Animal Planet) special presentation

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