It would be the most controversial season EV-AH!

It will never happen, but it would be so much fun.

Emily Maynard seems very sweet and genuine and she’s undeniably gorgeous. The camera — along with everyone and everything else on the planet — adores her. But she would not be fun to watch as “The Bachelorette.”

First of all, she has yet to show a personality on “The Bachelor.” She looks worried most of the time. When she’s not worried, she’s pining (understandably) for her daughter. When she’s not doing that, she’s crying and talking about how she sabotages relationships.

We should all be kissing her ring.

She has no romantic spark with Brad Womack at all and it’s pretty much understood that she is this season’s Chris Lambton. The job of choosing between 25-30 (better?) guys on “The Bachelorette” is hers if she wants it and I HOPE TO GOD she doesn’t want it.

On top of not having much personality, Emily is the third rail of this season. You can’t say anything about her without getting a lashing from her adoring fans. Chris Lambton at least had a sarcastic sense of humor. He would’ve been fun to watch as “The Bachelor.”

But you saw the fan (over)reaction to taking Emily on a NASCAR date, can you imagine what will happen when she’s faced with a Justin “Rated-R” Rego or a Wes Hayden?

And ABC would feel compelled to cast some crazy person — like Madison “Fang Girl” Garton or Michelle “I”m Even Crazier Than The Last Michelle” Money, because that drama is what gets people talking, aka ratings.

Another day, another serious sit-down with Emily.

If Emily is off-limits for drama, there is no season to be had. She’s not exciting enough to carry a season on her own and if all of her guys are as gosh darn sweet and vanilla it will be even worse than Brad’s therapy sessions.

On top of that — I hate double standards, but Emily has already spent a lot of time away from her daughter, Ricki, and if she becomes “The Bachelorette” it’s unlikely Ricki would be traveling the world with her. Jason Mesnick was a single dad “Bachelor” but his ex-wife is still among the living. I’m sure whoever is caring for Ricki now could continue to do so during “The Bachelorette,” but is that something Emily would want?

Am I alone here? I don’t care if I am.

Honestly, I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch Michelle as “The Bachelorette. Seriously. I love the way she tries to control and dominate Brad. She knows what she wants and she knows how crazy she needs to be to get it. No wishy-washy behavior.

It’d be refreshing to have an exciting, mildly insane person in the hot seat for once. And the one-liners she comes out with! I want more. I’m dreading the week after next when she’ll be gone.

(Of course, Michelle is a single mother, too, but I believe her ex-husband, Ryan Money, is still with us and should be able to care for Brielle during the show. … Not that ABC will cast her. They’d probably cast Vienna Girardi before Michelle.)

Is my Michelle a lock for “Bachelor Pad” Season 2? Probably, if she’s into it. Is that enough? No. No, I’ve decided it isn’t. I want her to either be “The Bachelorette” or get her own spinoff. I’m well aware that she’s an actress who has a (straight to video?) movie coming out. And I love the rumor that ABC has been paying her to play the villain. If they aren’t, they should be.

Who else would be good for “The Bachelorette” if not Michelle? Last year I would’ve said Gia Allemand, but not after “Bachelor Pad” Season 1 and certainly not after the online drama between Gia, Vienna and Wes. I want nothing from them anymore.

Maybe Shawntel Newton. I really like her. I like her more than the Ashleys and she’s much more sane than Michelle. I could compromise and go with Shawntel, but please not Emily.

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Catch up on tons of “Bachelor” stories at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor — including my recap of Michelle’s not-so-dramatic departure on Episode 7.

Here’s the start:

Ding dong! The witch has fled! Which old witch? The wicked witch …

Yes, in a rare good decision, Brad Womack said goodbye to Michelle Money on The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 7. No more birthdays, ninjas, monkeys, black eyes and repellent rappelling dates. Maybe now she can go replace the “crazy” girl who looks and acts just like her in the Virgin Mobile commercials. (Read full recap here.)

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Here’s my previous recap of Episode 6: Michelle Needs to be Dumped in All’s Cave:

Knock Knock.
Who’s There?
Michelle.
Michelle Who?
Exactly what Brad should’ve said weeks ago!

(No good? Leave a better Michelle knock-knock joke in the comments. There’s gotta be a great one out there somewhere.)

When Michelle Money came a knockin’, Jackie Gordon and Alli Travis went a walkin’ on The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 6. Sanity seemed to check out of Costa Rica at the same time… (Read full recap here)

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And if you miss Michelle already, catch up on 15 of her best quotes from Season 15. Come back to us, luv!

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And catch up on my Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad stories in this blog archive.

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