If a girl wants a rose, she should just clip the bushes behind Brad and Chris. Done.

It’s a good thing I do nothing but watch TV. It’s not always a good thing, but from January-March it’s pretty grand.

AOL’s lovely and amazing TV Squad just unleashed its list of Winter/Spring 2011 season premieres. All the good stuff is coming back. (Except for “Project Runway” Season 9. Where the eff is it?)

Plan your life accordingly:

Saturday, January 1
‘Primeval’* at 10PM on BBC America
‘Candice Tells All’* at 8PM on HGTV
‘Dear Genevieve’* at 8:30PM on HGTV

Sunday, January 2
‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ at 7PM on ABC
‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ at 8PM on ABC
‘CSI: Miami’# at 8PM on CBS
‘Desperate Housewives’ at 9PM on ABC
‘Worst Cooks in America’* at 9PM on Food Network
‘What Chilli Wants’*# at 9PM on VH1
‘My Fair Wedding With David Tutera’* at 9PM on We
‘Brothers & Sisters’ at 10PM on ABC
‘Rich Bride, Poor Bride’* at 10PM on We

Monday, January 3
‘The Bachelor’* at 8PM on ABC (Gina’s note: Visit Wetpaint’s Bachelor site for my ramblings on the show, plus news, gossip, spoilers and stuff worth reading)

‘How I Met Your Mother’ at 8PM on CBS
‘Antiques Roadshow’ at 8PM on PBS
‘Pretty Little Liars’* at 8PM on ABC Family
‘Adventure Time’ and ‘Regular Show’ at 8PM on Cartoon Network
‘Rules of Engagement’ at 8:30PM on CBS (moves to Thursdays in February)
‘Robotomy’ at 8:45PM on Cartoon Network
‘Two and a Half Men’ at 9PM on CBS
‘Greek’* at 9PM on ABC Family
‘Mike & Molly’ at 9:30PM on CBS
‘Castle’ at 10PM on ABC
‘Hawaii Five-O’ at 10PM on CBS
‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’* at 10PM on Food Network
‘Disappeared’ at 10PM on ID

Tuesday, January 4
‘No Ordinary Family’ at 8PM on ABC
‘Million Dollar Money Drop’ at 8PM on FOX
‘The Biggest Loser’* at 8PM on NBC
‘V’* at 9PM on ABC
‘Detroit 1-8-7’ at 10PM on ABC
‘Parenthood’ at 10PM on NBC
‘Independent Lens’ at 10PM on PBS
‘Chopped’* at 10PM on Food Network

Wednesday, January 5
‘The Middle’ at 8PM on ABC
‘Human Target’ at 8PM on FOX (Moves to 9PM on Jan. 26)
‘Minute to Win It’ at 8PM on NBC
‘How & Howe Tech’# at 8PM on Discovery
‘Better With You’ at 8:30PM on ABC
‘Modern Family’ at 9PM on ABC
‘Friday Night Lights’ at 9PM on DirecTV Channel 101
‘Ghost Hunters International’* at 9PM on SyFy
‘Tyler Perry’s House of Payne’ at 9PM on TBS
‘Cougar Town’ at 9:30PM on ABC (replaced by new series ‘Mr. Sunshine’ in February)
‘Law & Order: SVU’# at 10PM on NBC
‘Are We There Yet?’* at 10PM on TBS

Thursday, January 6
‘Wipeout’* at 8PM on ABC
‘The Big Bang Theory’ at 8PM on CBS
‘$–! My Dad Says’ at 8:30PM on CBS (‘Rules of Engagement’ moves to this slot on Feb. 24)
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ at 9PM on ABC
‘CSI’ at 9PM on CBS
‘Private Practice’ at 10PM on ABC
‘The Mentalist’ at 10PM on CBS
‘This Old House Hour’# at 10PM on PBS
‘Selling New York’* at 10PM on HGTV
‘Jersey Shore’* at 10PM on MTV
‘Ace of Cakes’* at 10PM on Food Network

Friday, January 7
‘Supernanny’ at 8PM on ABC
‘Medium’ at 8PM on CBS
‘Primetime: What Would You Do?’ at 9PM on ABC
‘CSI: New York’ at 9PM on CBS
‘Confessions: Animal Hoarding’ at 10PM on Animal Planet
‘Star Wars: The Clone Wars’# at 8:30PM on Cartoon Network
‘Say Yes to the Dress’* at 9PM on TLC
‘Twisted’* at 10PM on ID
‘Merlin’* at 10PM on SyFy
‘Four Weddings’* at 10PM on TLC

Saturday, January 8
‘It’s Me or the Dog’* at 8PM on Animal Planet
‘Austin City Limits’ at 9PM on PBS

Sunday, January 9
‘The Simpsons’ at 8PM on FOX
‘Nature’ at 8PM on PBS
‘Food Network Challenge’* at 8PM on Food Network
‘Family Guy’ at 9PM on FOX
‘Masterpiece’ at 9PM on PBS
‘Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane’* at 9PM on Style
‘The Cleveland Show’# at 9:30 on FOX
‘Iron Chef America’* at 10PM on FOX
‘Alaska State Troopers’ at 10PM on NatGeo
‘Californication’*# at 10PM on Showtime
‘The Dish’*# at 10PM on Style
‘Robot Chicken’ at 11:45 PM on Adult Swim

Monday, January 10
‘Lie to Me’ at 9PM on FOX
‘The Bad Girls Club’*# at 9PM on Oxygen
‘You’re Cut Off’* at 9PM on VH1

Tuesday, January 11
‘NCIS’ at 8PM on CBS
‘Nova’* at 8PM on PBS
‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ at 9PM on CBS
‘Frontline’ at 9PM on PBS
‘The Good Wife’ at 10PM on CBS
‘The Game’* at 10PM on BET (previously on CW)
‘Tosh.0’*# at 10PM on Comedy Central
‘Teen Mom’* at 10PM on MTV
‘Southland’* at 10PM on TNT

Wednesday, January 12
‘Criminal Minds’ at 9PM on CBS
‘Chase’# at 9PM on NBC
‘Defenders’ at 10PM on CBS (moves to Fridays at 8PM starting Feb. 11)

Thursday, January 13
‘Naked Science’*# at 8PM on NatGeo

Friday, January 14
‘The Ricky Gervais Show’* at 9PM on HBO
‘Real Time With Bill Maher’* at 10PM on HBO

Sunday, January 16
‘American Dad’# at 7:30PM on FOX
‘Big Love’* at 9PM on HBO

Monday, January 17
‘Chuck’ at 8PM on NBC
‘House’ at 8PM on FOX
‘Explorer’ at 10PM on NatGeo

Tuesday, January 18
‘Life Unexpected’ at 9PM on CW
‘White Collar’* at 10PM on USA

Wednesday, January 19
‘Blue Bloods’# at 10PM on CBS (until Feb. 9)
‘American Idol’* at 8PM on FOX
‘Hot in Cleveland’* at 10PM on TV Land

Thursday, January 20
‘Community’ at 8PM on NBC
‘American Idol’ at 8PM on FOX
‘The Office’ at 9PM on NBC
‘Bones’# at 9PM on FOX
‘Parks & Recreation’* at 9:30 on NBC
’30 Rock’# at 10PM on NBC
‘Royal Pains’* at 10PM on USA
‘Outsourced’* at 10:30PM on NBC

Friday, January 21
‘Kitchen Nightmares’*# at 8PM on FOX
‘Fringe’# at 9PM on FOX
‘My Big Redneck Wedding’* at 9:30 on CMT (moves to 9PM starting Feb. 4)

Sunday, January 23
‘Holly’s World’* at 10:30PM on E!

Monday, January 24
‘90210’ at 8PM on CW
‘Gossip Girl’ at 9PM on CW
‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’* at 9PM on LOGO

Tuesday, January 25
‘One Tree Hill’ at 8PM on CW

Wednesday, January 26
‘Clean House’* at 10PM on Style

Thursday, January 27
‘The Vampire Diaries’ at 8PM on CW
‘Nikita’ at 9PM on CW
‘Archer’* at 10PM on FX

Friday, January 28
‘Smallville’ at 8PM on CW
‘Supernatural’ at 8PM on CW

Monday, January 31
‘Donald J. Trump’s Wonderful World of Golf’* at 9PM on Golf Channel

Tuesday, February 1
‘Million Dollar Listing’* at 10PM on Bravo

Friday, February 4
‘Who Do You Think You Are?’* at 8PM on NBC

Tuesday, February 8
‘Glee’ at 8PM on FOX (with preview on the 6th and special episode after the Super Bowl)
‘Raising Hope’ at 9PM on FOX
‘Law & Order: Los Angeles’# at 10PM on NBC

Wednesday, February 9
‘Justified’# at 10PM on FX

Wednesday, February 16
‘Survivor’* at 8PM on CBS

Thursday, February 17
‘Man vs. Wild’*# at 9PM on Discovery

Sunday, February 20
‘The Amazing Race’* at 8PM on CBS

Wednesday, February 23
‘America’s Next Top Model’* — at 8PM on CW
‘Ghost Hunters’* — at 9PM on SyFy

Friday, February 25
‘American Loggers’* at 10PM on Discovery

Monday, February 28
‘The Event’ at 9PM on NBC

Sunday, March 6
‘The Marriage Ref’*# at 8PM on NBC
‘The Apprentice’*# at 9PM on NBC
‘Ruby’* at 8PM on Style

Monday, March 7
‘Too Fat for 15: Fighting Back’* at 8PM on Style

Wednesday, April 27
‘South Park’* at 10PM on Comedy Central

Advertisements