Hell hath no fury like a dog trainer terrifically pissed off.

Jane: “My alliance have turned on me.”

Don’t worry, dear. Unless they turn 180 degrees, they’re all still facing the wrong direction. What was it Mr. Farty Marty called Chase? Dumb as a bag of hammers? That bag needs room for two more members this week.

Jane Bright is proud of the way she played “Survivor: Nicaragua.” Stealing stuff, making fish behind people’s backs, getting outraged over just about everything. When her dumbass alliance of Chase/Holly/Sash announced in front of her that they would be voting her out on “This is Going to Hurt,” she unleashed “the wrath of Jane.”

Fabio — aka “Jud the Stud” — won immunity right when he needed to and apparently EVERYONE except for Dan’s son has forgotten that Dan still exists.

So instead of voting out Dan, which would’ve been an easy call salvaging the Chase/Holly/Sash/Jane majority, Jane ended up going home — damaging the reputations of her alliance members in front of the jury in the process.

Can we credit Fabio? He wanted Jane gone, which of course makes sense for him. Fabio said if Chase doesn’t vote out Jane it could go down as his worst decision. First of all, that list is way too long at this point. Second, Chase should vote out Jane AFTER Dan.

By the way, Jeff Probst, stop strategizing for the players at tribal council. Yes, they are dumb as a bag of hammers, but that doesn’t mean you and your impression of your own mom need to jump in and do the work for them.

Both Sash and Chase played their idols, but they didn’t need to. No one went after them. They went after Jane. Who, again, was on their side. They didn’t even have the sense to blindside her. They let her trash them. In front of the jury. After dousing the fire. They now have no fire because they told an emotionally unstable woman their plans to backstab her.


I’m disappointed in my girl Holly. All she’s doing is giving Chase and Sash rope to hang themselves, but Jane targeted Holly more than anyone else. This was not well played.


Has anyone ever screwed up a good thing faster than Chase? It's like he can't stop himself from losing this win.

Holly: “What the f–k is wrong with Chase?”

They call him Flipper! Flipper! Faster than lightning!

Seriously. It’s like a compulsion. Chase got the whole intro, which made him seem like “a portrait of indecision,” but also the one running the camp. Everyone — including Chase — thinks Chase is flighty, but how can that be the case when he’s in charge and no one is even trying to get rid of him?

On the flip side, I’m tired of hearing from everyone — including Fabio — that Fabio isn’t that stupid. Fabio started the episode by insisting that everyone is underestimating him, but if that was the case then why did he vote Holly last week when everyone else voted either Benry or Fabio? He had no idea. Pure dumb luck that he’s still around and scrambling Benry is gone.

Some people think Benry was voted out because he scrambled, but Brenda was eliminated because she didn’t scramble. It had nothing to do with them and more to do with what the other survivors wanted. Holly convinced everyone to get rid of Brenda. Chase convinced everyone to get rid of Benry. It was that simple.

Yes, Jud the Stud is young and strong and sharp enough to win immunity challenges, but he remains strategically challenged. Why the hell didn’t Jud and Dan cover their asses by trying to win over Jane? They could’ve tried to vote out Holly. At least force a tie and forge an attempt at a new alliance. Sash and Chase had to play their idols and they would be totally exposed next time.


And now a special gratuitous plug from Chase Rice: “Something as simple as a Sprint cell phone can bring you to tears.”

It was nice to actually see Dan is alive and well on the island. He cried over his son, which is about as much as we’ve seen him do all season. (Except get mad at Holly and NaOnka for stealing.)

I'm allowed to drool. He's legal.

Jud’s mom is hot. Dang. So that’s where he gets his model genes. I’m jealous. Mom Ann (or Anne) informs us that Jud used to be called “Jud the Stud.” Fabio is better. Unless he cuts his hair.

Jud/Fabio wants to go on the family visit reward with Sash and Chase. Chase agrees to it, but if a breath of wind passes him he’ll probably change his mind. That’s Chase’s downfall.

I love watching loved ones run through the forest into the arms of their “Survivor” players. It always makes me want to roll my eyes about how emotional they get after less than 40 days, but I do understand emotions are heightened out there.

Sash’s mom is hot too! What’s in the water? There should be a “Survivor” season just with the hot moms. Why is everyone blonde?

Jane’s daughter is cute too. It’s Jane and her daughter against the world. Sweet.

Holly’s hubby seems like an adorable teddy bear guy. They missed their 25th wedding anniversary for her to be out there. Aww! Holly is still my favorite at this point. I appreciate her journey.

Loved ones have to participate in the reward challenge. More tiles! Enough with the tiles, I say. They have to form a phrase, like “Wheel of Fortune” without the wheel.

Fabio is a stud. Hate to say it, since he’s only 21 or 22. But there it is.

Chase’s mom gets “Family comes first.” Chase gets reward, which means …


Screw up in 5, 4, 3, 2 …

Chase can pick one Survivor and their loved one…

He picks Sash. Actually, that’s fair. And it’s true, Sash hasn’t been on a reward in a while.


Nice one, Flipper!

Chase gets to pick a second person. He picks Holly. And there it is.

Way to go, Chase! Way to tell Fabio he would go with you and then take it back. Fabio cries and Mommy has to “shhh” him. Poor Fabio. His mom must live in Missouri. He’s in Venice, California. So just fly home when you win your money!


Dan and Fabio wonder WTF is up with Chase flip-flopping. Fabio and Chase both love their mamas (like Colby in Australia!)

Fabio: “He straight up lied to me.”

Oh it does not pay to win rewards, that’s for sure. Now Jane is pissed at Chase, too. They all wanted to go on reward.

Jane feels like the odd one out of a 4-person alliance, since Chase, Holly and Sash are all on reward.

So now it’s pretty clear that Chase Cannot Win This Season, no matter what. Maybe Holly would vote for him, and NaOnka, since she’s allowed on the jury (although quitters should NOT be allowed on the jury), but that’s probably it.

On reward, Chase says he could’ve made a more strategic choice, but he wants to keep Holly close. They want to get rid of Fabio, since he could ruin their plans. Fabio and Dan are the only remnants of their Marty/Benry/Dan/Fabio alliance.

This plan is OK as long as they do get rid of Fabio. But Fabio is young and strong and that’s a threat to win challenges…


Chase comes back from reward. Fabio asks how it was. It was a rhetorical question. Because he knew it was great. Fabio launches into Chase immediately.

Jud says he sees his mom twice a year. That’s not Chase’s fault. Move closer to her.

Jud says the best thing he can do is try to win immunity. Yes, that would help.

It’s a blindfold challenge. They go over and under rails. Using sense of touch they have to memorize symbols and use the same symbols to create a shield. What happened to the water challenges? Is there something wrong with the water? I miss Palau.

Fabio had a quick lead with Chase right behind. I think we’re going to need to get used to hearing that.

Funny how the people who really need to win immunity manage to step up and get it. Survivors are good at energy management.

Chase spent too long studying the symbols. But it’s Fabio vs. Chase, as usual.

Fabio does not have it… but he tries again and … WINS IMMUNITY!

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Jeff: “When you need it, you get it.” That’s what I said! Oh Jeff. You old soul mate, you.


Aww, sweet! Funny how Dan says he's exhausted AFTER DOING F--K ALL FOR THE WHOLE SEASON.

If not Fabio … shouldn’t it be Dan? He’s the only other alliance member left. But Dan is such a non-entity, maybe they can’t even see him anymore.

Fabio wants to vote off Jane tonight and Dan tomorrow. Not that they vote out a person tomorrow.

Chase wants Jane to stick around. Fabio says if Chase doesn’t vote out Jane it could go down as his worst decision.

Not likely! That list is growing too long.

Besides, Jane is in Chase’s alliance. Fabio has a vested interest in dumping Jane. Scratch that, in getting CHASE to dump Jane, thereby getting rid of the threat of a feisty old lady and making it Chase/Sash/Holly’s fault.

Jud the Stud was not in her alliance, so she wouldn’t blame him.


Voting out Jane would be a big mistake. Jane wants to vote out Dan. That actually makes sense, so of course it won’t be done.

Jane gives Chase the hairy eyeball. She knows. She knows!

Chase/Holly/Sash have the Jane discussion in front of Jane. IDIOTS.

Jane: “My alliance have turned on me.”

So she WENT OFF on them in front of the jury.

Fabio is being handed this game. Even if he keeps winning the last immunities, I can’t say that I’m going to be satisfied if he wins. Holly was my favorite and now I am favorite-less. Fabio’s hotness/coolness is not enough to make him a good “Survivor” winner.


Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, 30; luxury broker, New York City
Chase Rice, 24; NASCAR jackman/singer, Fairview, N.C.
Judson Birza, 21; student/model/musician, Venice, Calif.
Dan Lembo, 63; property management, Water Mill, N.Y.
Holly Hoffman, 44; swim coach, Eureka, S.D.


Catch up on my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers in this nifty archive. See you on Sunday for the finale! Don’t forget!