Bye Marty. Go play chess with that Argentine tennis player. You may even beat him and boost your own ego. Just stay away from Jimmy Johnson. I doubt he wants to see you.

Fabio: “I hate playing stupid so much, but it’s like the smartest thing to do right now.”

Fabio’s strategy of playing dumb, not doing much and “being cool” could take him far on “Survivor: Nicaragua.”

Just saying. It makes me sick, but looking back on the past 20 seasons, this is how people win. More often than not, the Russells don’t win. The Robs don’t win. The Martys don’t win. The Sashes don’t win. The Brendas don’t win. The Stephenies and Colbys don’t even win. Instead, the Fabios win. The Hollys win. Sometimes even the Dans win.

A moment of depressed silence, please.

*Update* After the Nov. 17 episode, I’d be happy if Holly won. Nice power move ousting Brenda without getting blamed for it! That’s hard to do… *End Update*

One minute Brenda and Sash were talking about how Marty was right about Jane's threat level, then it came down to Jane vs. Marty and Marty went home. Who is really "Running the Camp"?

The problem with “Survivor: Nicaragua” contestants voting out anyone suspected of having an IQ over 100 is we’re left with mentally unstable fools who build alliances based on the sound of each other’s accents.

Take “humanitarian” NaOnka, for example. I want you guys to know I’m not dumb. I’m very far from stupid.” She doesn’t mind that being a nasty b*tch will take her to the end, even though going off on everyone from Marty to Fabio to Jeff Probst himself is probably not going to win her any dough.

Funny how everyone is keeping her around under the assumption that both she and they will make it to the final 3. She doesn’t act on logic. She turns on a dime. What makes anyone think she will make it that far and be loyal enough to bring them along?

Last week they got rid of Alina for no reason other than the fact that she seemed smart. Never mind that the numbers were against her and she wasn’t likely to go on any immunity streak.

This week the group turned on “evil, diabolical” Farty Marty Piombo, whose arrogance and wit I miss because it means we have to listen to more of the village idiots congratulating themselves on handling this major threat. Huge threat! Because anyone who insults a beloved old lady and gives a playa like Sash an idol is a huge threat to get to the end and run away with the votes. Right.

At this point there are very few people to actually root for. I’m familiar with the spoilers so I have an idea of what’s going to happen, but think about it. Fast-forward to the final three with any three of these folks. Mix them up and who is legitimately worth rooting for?

Don't irk Brenda!

My former fave Jane Bright is no longer on my good side. So what if “Mr. Farty” attacked her? He had nothing to lose. He knew if he didn’t go last week he was going to go this week. He had no numbers and no reason for anyone to keep him. So why not put a target on the back of an enemy? Why did everyone act so surprised?

And what was that nonsense from Jane about insulting Marty as a father and not letting her grandkids play with his kids? Could this be any more fourth-grade?

Marty is a smart guy, but not as smart as he thinks. He had a valid plan to get rid of Jane or NaOnka (via the idol), but once again, the best laid plans died on the stupid vine.

I don’t know what Jeff was talking about, saying the survivors are not thinking as a group anymore. They are. Previous alliances seem to matter more to this crowd than “what’s my best case scenario?” decisions.

Except when it comes to the reward challenge when all the guys went with their stomachs, except for sweet, paranoid Chase. (Chase, go ahead and keep “irkin'” Brenda, I still love ya.)

I think I missed the part where it was explained why the plan to flush out NaOnka’s idol died, but in the end Marty vs. Jane ended with Marty on the jury. We know he won’t vote for Jane, if he gets to the end.

Point to ponder: Who would get his vote?


Jeff Probst claims it was a coincidence that it came down to men vs. women in the reward obstacle course. Chase had to sit out but he was allowed to choose a team to back. He went with the girls, probably because Brenda jumped up and down for him.

Jane held the women back, just like Dan held the men back. But the men had such a head start and it was such a physical challenge, it was inevitable that they’d win. Purple Kelly cried, which is the most we’ve seen of her.

Chivalry had a chance to be revived, but it stayed dead. No guys volunteered to give up their spot for a lady.


Marty compared Chase backing Jane to “Dumb and Dumber.” That’s only true if neither gets to the end. If Chase gets to the end, this is just the kind of vote of confidence — and alone time to solidify the bond — that could earn him social game votes. Would the other guys hold it against him? They shouldn’t. They’ll have full bellies and can come back to camp and mock him for being swayed by Brenda’s body and Jane’s twang.

The boys went ziplining, which Dan thought was “OK.” Marty had a “thrilling, exhilarating” time. He felt free. Dirty squirrel Benry can feel whatever he wants as long as I don’t have to hear about it later. Fabio is just goofy enough to be cute. Sash’s insincere smile gives me the heebie jeebies.

Poor Marty thinks it’s a good idea to talk strategy with everyone. This is the season where smart people are targeted. The best plan is to play dumb, like Fabio and Jane. Fabio isn’t that dumb. He tells Sash to talk to Brenda, whom the guys respect as a smart girl who shouldn’t be casting her lot in with “kooks” like NaOnka and Chase.

Brenda thinks Chase made a bad move by making an emotional “North Carolina” vote and backing the women. Brenda: “Chase doesn’t make smart moves. That’s his problem.”

Chase isn’t sure they can trust Brenda. “We don’t talk much anymore.” Aww! Everyone’s afraid of getting on Brenda’s nerves. That’s such a weird thing to hear from NaOnka.

Brenda: “Chase is like a little baby that’s always going ‘wah wah wah.'” She can’t stand paranoia and he’s paranoid.

Chase’s alliance is sick of him? Maybe Chase is too smart for this crowd. Paranoia makes sense, especially in a group that doesn’t act on logic.


Memory challenge with symbols. Jane and NaOnka were the first ones out. Dan was out next. Holly, Sash and Kelly were out next.

In the second round, Fabio was out first. Chase was out next. Benry out next. It was down to Marty and Brenda. Both are a little too smug, but it was extra smug Brenda ftw.


Fabio and Benry seem close, which makes me respect Fabio less. They plan on telling everyone they are voting off NaOnka.

Do you think her father is proud of her? How about those kids she teaches ... or taught, before this show aired?

This is why Chase’s paranoia is valid: Somewhere along the way, Sash & Brenda — who think they are “Running the Camp” — decided to listen to Smarty Farty Marty and change their votes from Marty to NaOnka + idol and Jane.

Brenda wanted to get rid of her buddy, Jane, which would constitute a bigger betrayal than Marty going after Jane. But in the end both Brenda and Sash voted for Marty, and the Fabio/Benry crowd targeted Jane.


Uh-oh. It’s Jane vs. Marty at Tribal Council, but Brenda makes a statement comparing NaOnka to Jane. Which would you want to take to the end? Troublemaker (but she’s only a “humanitarian!”) Na or Jane, who gets them fish? Brenda sits next to Na as she says that. Is that something Na would want to hear? Sure, she’d get to the end, but it would be with Brenda.

Na: “I want you guys to know I’m not dumb.” They can say it as many times as they want. “I’m very far from stupid.”

Now it’s Na vs. Marty. Now it’s Na vs. Fabio. For a minute there it was Na vs. Jeff.

The vote came down to Jane vs. Marty. No NaOnka votes. Marty went home. He’s better off at Ponderosa anyway. Alina probably has that wine waiting for him…


“Dirt squirrel” Benry and Holly are upset by a major event at camp. This must be the fire…


Catch up on my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers here.


Ben “Benry” Henry, 24; bar owner
Brenda Lowe, 27; former Miami Dolphins cheerleader
Chase Rice, 24; NASCAR jackman/singer
Judson “Fabio” Birza, 21; student/model/musician
Kelly Shinn, 20; student
Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, 30; luxury broker
NaOnka Mixon, 27; P.E. teacher
Dan Lembo, 63; property management
Holly Hoffman, 44; swim coach
Jane Bright, 56; dog trainer