Whatever happened to your plan to lay low?

NaOnka: “Sorry about smushing your bananas.”

Kids today. No banana etiquette.

“Survivor: Nicaragua” is becoming Samoa + Heroes vs. Villains minus Russell Hantz. And if you remember, Russell was the best part.

Marty Piombo, you’re trying — and I give you credit for it — but you’re no Russell. At this point Jill Behm, who let Marty take credit for finding the idol, is looking strong behind the scenes. She calls Marty the puppet master, but he has his neck out in front of everyone. She doesn’t. He thinks she follows his lead and maybe that’s true.

She’d be smart to. Because we just learned what happens to leaders.

Coach is down. No more Jimmy Johnson. Which means no more pep talks. No more “Pick me! Pick me!” schoolyard yipping and subsequent wound-licking from Jimmy Tarantino. No more inexplicable deference.

(By the way, spoilers fans, this Jimmy J. elimination fits with a lot of the current boot lists here, so maybe they’re on to something after all.)

Then again, was Coach Jimmy ever really the leader? Sounds like Jeff Probst is really calling the shots. Every time he asks a question at tribal council, it elicits a dig-your-own-grave response. First it was Wendy. Last week it was Shannon/Shambo. This week, Jimmy Johnson reminded everyone he was the oldest member of the tribe and also said he was one of the weakest.

Bad idea.

The other Jimmy — mouthy and needy Jimmy T., who demands to be heard! — backs Marty. He’s drinking the Kool-Aid that Marty was being a team player when showing “his” immunity idol to the group.  Marty was instrumental in getting people to vote out JJ, mostly through his own obsessive envy. He hated that his tribe got “the celebrity.” He hated how everyone had “glitter in their eyes” for Jimmy. He has ego issues. (Maybe he is the new Russell?)

Tyrone doesn’t buy it. He thinks Marty is “shady,” which is true. Tyrone also took unnecessary heat for losing the immunity/reward challenge. He dominated in the beginning and just couldn’t recover. But considering everyone else sat around, they don’t have a leg to stand on.

Here's NaOnka with Kelly Purple, aka the Kelly NaOnka does not hate and want to dismember.

Speaking of legs …

If Shannon Elkins was the “Nicaragua” version of “Samoa’s” obnoxious Ben, NaOnka Mixon is the new version of Samoa’s Yasmin — and unfortunately she’s still around.

NaOnka is spending a lot of time in “in the moment” with the cameras in the confessionals. That’s where she lets us know everyone is being as fake as faux fur in pretending to get along at La Flor.

Say what you want about her, she isn’t fake. She’s genuinely mean.

She’s in an alliance with the “strong five”: Chase Rice, Brenda Lowe, Kelly Shinn (aka Kelly Purple) and Matt “Sash” Lenahan.

She dislikes Jud Birza, aka Fabio — even his hair gets on her nerves — and seems to absolutely hate Kelly Bruno. Especially her fake leg.

Why? Is it because Na thought Kelly’d be weak and is ticked off to be wrong?

NaOnka got “hood” with Kelly when La Flor won the reward/immunity challenge — without using the medallion of power, thanks entirely to Benry — and the two women carried a fruit basket back to camp. They both noticed the immunity idol clue at the bottom of the basket.

What happened next was very Danielle vs. Amanda on “Heroes vs. Villains.” The second the basket hit the ground, the women fought — with NaOnka fighting “hood” hard, which is different from “ghetto” hard, she explains.

NaOnka knocked down Kelly B., artificial leg and all. Then, for no reason, she told the camera she’s up for pulling Kelly’s leg off. She is definitely earning her spot as — Jeff Probst’s words from last week’s EW blog — “the bitch of the show.”

Jeff goes off on her this week too.

Apparently it’s only going to get worse next week when Hurricane NaOnka hit’s the island.

Off topic: Are the challenges fair? So far they have been pretty physical, more physical than I expected for something divided by age. The old folks (I still love how Chase called them “antiques”) are already falling apart, especially Danny. Is this whole season subtly set up to favor the young guns?

THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL AROUND:

La Flor Tribe (The Flower)

Alina Wilson, 23; student/model
Ben “Benry” Henry, 24; bar owner
Brenda Lowe, 27; business owner, former Miami Dolphins cheerleader
Chase Rice, 24; NASCAR jackman/singer
Judson Birza, 21; student/model/musician
Kelly Bruno, 25; medical student, amputee triathlete
Kelly Shinn, 20; student
Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, 30; luxury broker
NaOnka Mixon, 27; P.E. teacher

Espada Tribe (The Sword)

Dan Lembo, 63; property management
Holly Hoffman, 44; swim coach
Jane Bright, 56; dog trainer
Jillian Behm, 43; ER physician
Jimmy Tarantino, 48; fisherman/government seafood inspector
Marty Piombo, 48; wine industry executive
Tyrone Davis, 42; fire captain
Yve Rojas, 41; stay-at-home mom

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