By Gina Carbone
And I don’t mean in terms of the Justin/Frank drama or Kasey and his tattoo.
I mean us.
Right here and now with our spoilers and sleuthing and general mayhem — even though most of the people running around like proverbial headless chickens have already read the spoiler that Ali picks no one and walks away single.
If we already “know” that from the one guy who started the Bachelor/Bachelorette spoiler phenomenon, what are we doing?
I can only guess that we’re going crazy trying to grasp at some other answer because Mike Fleiss and Chris Harrison are wrong: We’re not here for the drama, we’re here for the cheesy love story.
This season is the reality TV version of “Twilight”: Jacob vs. Edward. Roberto vs. Chris. Except I think this time Chris is Jacob, the jokester pal type.
Anyway, if you think about it, we’ve haven’t had a finale with two people worth fighting for in a while. Tenley & Vienna? Kiptyn & Ed? Melissa & Molly? (OK, that one wasn’t too easy a choice) Jason & Jesse? And they ALWAYS seem to make the wrong choice.
With Chris and Roberto, there is no wrong choice. Unless Ali picks no one, which is the main spoiler, which brings us back to the beginning.
I actually feel kinda bad for the non-spoiler fans on the Bachelorette Fansite Facebook page. There used to be a time when we were all just “fans” of the show. Now there are spoiler-philes and spoiler-phobes.
I happen to love spoilers and now seek them out for other shows too, like “Project Runway” and “Survivor.” It’s amazing how much more satisfying a show is, to me, when you can see it through from the end result back. You notice things maybe you wouldn’t if you hadn’t been tipped to the ending.
But I completely understand when people don’t want to be spoiled. This blog is obviously a spoiler site. I haven’t shouted it from the rooftops, but I’m all over spoilers. But sometimes people will write on the Facebook page that they just want to watch the show and not be spoiled. I get it! But some fans are not nice and will comment with all the spoilers they’ve read. Why would you do that?
I hate divisions in our little Bachelor and Bachelorette family! But that’s what’s become of us after Jason/Molly/Melissa/Reality Steve.
That insane season introduced “The Bachelorette” to screaming tabloid headlines and a ratings bonanza. Since drama seemed to fuel ratings, the producers just kept amping it up.
Jillian had a bunch of crazy guys with foot fetishes and “man code” fights and ultimately a guy who left her for work, then came back, and another guy who was dumped but came back. And who can forget the country singer who supposedly had a girlfriend back home, brought to light by another booted contestant. Ultimately she picked the guy with two girlfriends back home in Chicago. (Sounds kinda familiar.)
Then we had the season where the megabitch from hell was outed as the early frontrunner to win. That’s when the spoilers really came to life because who on earth could believe that it would be true that Jake would voluntarily choose Vienna over Tenley? This is when the tabloid stuff became daily online. It got out of control and we all fed into it. The most gorgeous girl on the show was accused of entering into an “inappropriate relationship” (whatever that means) with one of the producers and was called out by Chris Harrison, for some reason, even though Ali has had to do all the dirty work herself this season. Then Ali left Jake for work, tried to come back and was refused.
So now they have to up the ante. One guy with a girlfriend? Try two guys with a combined total of three girlfriends! Weatherman vs. The Hair. The crazy guy sings, gets a tattoo and turns “guard and protect your heart” into a stalker motto. The Bachelorette herself is put through the wringer and we’ve been “spoiled” with the idea that she has been so hurt by her defecting bachelors that she chooses neither of her wonderful final options.
Or do they refuse her? Or does she really get engaged? So many counter-spoilers have been released that fans sick with cynicism-fatigue are grasping at them like love life rafts.
Meanwhile, the tabloids have gone into overdrive. Ali is a superstah! She’s on every tab cover and she’s got a story on the front pages of every major entertainment outlet online. Fans are analyzing her every word and tracking the every move of her final two guys. Someone is even supposedly trying to sell her diary. The guys who spurned her, Justin and Frank, have been vilified, even though they are just real people. Their names will now be connected to this drama forever. (The Internet never forgets. )
This never happened to Trista and Ryan, which is probably why there is a Trista and Ryan.
Has it gone too far? Is there even a chance that people can still find a connection on this show, now that wading through tabloid trashing, online rumors, cheating accusations, magazine covers, hair/fashion/makeup/weight insults and the 24-hour news cycle have all become mainstays of the show?
The post-show drama seems like a much bigger hurdle than trying to find a spark with someone after two months of off-and-on dating in a controlled setting.
I’ll say this: Jason and Molly must really, really, really love each other if they went through that mess and came out the other side as a married couple. Trista and Ryan never had to deal with any of that.
If Ali and her Chosen One do find each other, I hope they are secure enough to get through this. Get through it and then hide from us. Because we’re a crazy bunch.
Now that I’ve had my existential crisis … I’m back in the mix! Because this is fun, dang it! And we still have a weekend of spoiling and sleuthing to get through before the finale. For all kinds of “Bachelorette” news, spoilers, recaps, top 10 lists, fashion face-offs and various general “stuff” visit BacheloretteFans.com.
Catch up on my own nifty spoiler-and-speculation-filled Bachelor/Bachelorette archive here. I’ve been updating this frequently in the last few days, so do a lot of scrolling to get it all!