Most of these "Men" won't even be around to "Tell All."

How dull.

I’m going to post what Reality Steve wrote just now about “The Bachelorette: Men Tell All,” which taped Saturday. But, really, the more interesting stuff is what he says about Us Weekly.

Because, whatever happens in “The Bachelorette” finale, it’s very likely to come down to Reality Steve vs. The Tabloids.

Steves sources tell him Ali Fedotowsky chose no one in the finale and is single. Us Weekly and Hollywood Life say Ali is engaged and planning the wedding with her winner.

Granted, Us has nothing to back that up. It has old quotes and speculation. But the Fans of Reality TV may be on to something with Roberto. Follow FORT before Us.

Fans like me cling to the hope that creepy “Bachelor” producer Mike Fleiss has “Fleissed” Steve on the ending. Nothing against Steve (although he does seem to be an egomaniac), but I want my surprise endings back.

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Anyway, here’s what Steve has to say about “Men Tell All,” which airs Monday, July 26 after the Tahiti drama with Frank.

“Well, I said I would try to report last night if there was any breaking, important news from the “Men Tell All”. There wasn’t. Here are the notes I’ve gathered from my sources regarding things that did happen:

-Jessica and Kimberly did not show up. As of late last week, they were set to go and pile on Justin. Something went down, but the producers changed their mind last minute and decided not to have the girls on. Don’t know why, and honestly, don’t care at this point. I’m glad they didn’t go.

-Justin did not show up as he’s stated he wouldn’t. There is more to his story than what was shown, he felt betrayed, and he didn’t want to help them in any way, so he didn’t show up. So neither of the final three (Frank, Chris, Roberto) were there, nor was Justin, Jessica, or Kimberly.

-Jessie Sulidis was there but was just brought up on stage briefly to talk about what she knew about Justin. Considering she didn’t even know the guy before Jessica called her, I have no idea what Jessie could’ve said about the guy that’s first hand.

-Kasey and Kirk were the only two called up to the hot seat. Kasey sang another song for Ali, everyone laughed and Ali thought it was funny. The weatherman was picked on again for his “dangerous” comment about Craig, and Craig called some guys out on the show. Seriously, a whole lot of nothing. Man that episode is gonna suck.

-There was a red carpet afterparty that many former contestants were invited to. A lot of “Bachelor Pad” stuff, cameras rolled (I’m guessing they’ll show a lot of footage from the party on the MTA episode since, well, not much else happened), a lot of drinking, and I’m sure a lot of hooking up. Honestly, since most of them have seen the insides of each other’s mouths at this point, it’s not even a big deal anymore when I hear who hooked up with who. I’ve become immune to it at this point because I expect it. Put it this way: It’s actually news when all these former contestants get together and people DON’T hook up.

-No news to report with Ali. She did appear at the “Men Tell All”, fielded a few questions, but then was whisked off stage, didn’t shoot the sh** with the guys backstage or anything, and definitely wasn’t at the afterparty. Typical of seasons past. Ali was not asked anything regards to the finale while she was on stage. No “Are you happy?”, or “What’s your status?”, or “Are you engaged?” Nothing. They didn’t even show any footage from the finale either. Two weeks away from the finale, and we’ve yet to see any footage of Ali at her final rose ceremony, unless something happened to air on a promo on ABC over the weekend and I missed it.”

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Steve also takes on Us Weekly here:

“However, as for US Weekly’s claim this week that backs their story from two weeks ago which says Ali is engaged, once again, it’s in how they word it. The headline says “Bachelorette Ali: ‘I’m Confident I Picked the Right Guy’.” But when you read the story, her quote is “I’m just confident in the decisions I’ve made.” So all they’re doing is using the headline to lure you in. IF Ali were to be engaged, the last people she’s gonna break it to is a tabloid. Remember, US Weekly are the ones reporting Ali is engaged, not Ali herself. Big difference.

-The other line from the article that’s laughable is this: “The reality star admitted that she’s anxious to step out with her husband-to-be once the finale airs. ‘I’m sort of in a limbo phase in my life right now…I’m really looking forward to everything sort of wrapping up!’” Ummmm, where in her quote does it say she’s anxious to step out with her husband-to-be? She says she’s looking forward to “everything sort of wrapping up”, not, “I cannot wait to show my husband to everyone.” Once again, I’m not putting much stock into what they’re reporting. These are the same people who reported Ali and Roberto knew each other before the show started, and their only proof was because when she was 18, Roberto played baseball one town over from where she lived, and a “source” said there was a blonde who always used to cheer Roberto on that looked like Ali. Might be the worst story they’ve ever ran. That’s your evidence? Really? Embarrassing.”

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For all kinds of “Bachelorette” news, spoilers, top 10 lists, fashion face-offs and various general “stuff” visit BacheloretteFans.com.

Catch up on my own nifty Bachelor/Bachelorette archive here.

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