Lorena, why can't you bond with Franklin? He's lonely, too.

Hell with Bill Compton. I’m putting out an APB on “True Blood’s” charm, sex appeal, entertainment value, character development and sharp scripts. They all appear to have been abducted. If spotted, please send them to Alan Ball and his team of writers. Then punch them in the face for losing them to begin with.

Having said that, please check out my recap of “True Blood” season 3 episode 4, “9 Crimes,” and see if you even remember any of these top 15 quotes from the show. (I was going to do 20 but couldn’t come up with enough.)

Catch up on my “True Blood” recaps, best quotes, sneak peeks, etc., in this nifty archive.