By Gina Carbone
I blame the cutting.
While waiting to fly to San Francisco for the final leg of their journey, cowboys Jet and Cord McCoy arrived after models (for how not to behave) Brent Horne and Caite Upton, but six hours before brothers Dan and Jordan Pious.
But Jordan, the “Amazing Race” megafan, pulled a “Survivor” move and dropped his backpack behind Caite, cutting the cowboys in line while they slept.
Jordan & Dan got onto the plane before the cowboys and then upgraded themselves to first class. They kept that lead for the duration of the finale. The cowboys kept coming close to catching up, but never quite made it.
The models on the other hand, were just as useless as ever. How did they make it this far instead of detectives Louie & Michael or cute Dad & Daughter Steve & Allie?
After 23 days, five continents and 40,000 miles, Dan & Jordan won $1 million and “The Amazing Race” season 16.
Although I’m disappointed in the outcome and how the brothers arrived at it — (I love “Survivor,” but I thought “The Amazing Race” was supposed to be classier) — I am happy for Jordan since this was his dream come true. And Dan made his little brother’s dream come true. So that’s very sweet.
My boys Jet & Cord came in second.
Who cares about the models. (They were third, obviously.) More trash talking between the models and Carol & Brandy (aka “the lesbians”) during the finale. Too much drama.
Random stream of consciousness notes from “Huger Than Huge,” the finale:
The brothers got help finding San Francisco’s Coit Tower from a cyclist. One of the bros, Jordan I think, noted that “People who ride bicycles are smart. It’s a general rule.”
The cowboys didn’t need help finding Coit Tower since they had already purchased a city guide.
The models were being bitchy to their poor cab driver, but what else is new.
They had to climb Coit Tower for the next clue, which took them to Letterman Digital Arts Center, home of Industrial Light and Magic.
One of the brothers hasn’t seen Star Wars?
Storm Troopers escorted them inside.
One of them had to be the motion capture searcher and the other had to be the director.
Jordan, Jet and Caite were the searchers. In the director room, Cord tried to distract and misdirect Jordan, who was trying to listen to Dan. Payback time!
Cord was having trouble reading the message on the computer screen. That’s why Jordan was spinning, man! That lost them some time.
“Oh my gravy!” Love that line from Cord!
The models caught up with the cowboys fast. How?
Models lost their money and stuff, thanks to Caite. Brent flipped out, as usual.
At The Great American Music Hall, they had to post psychedelic posters of the contestants in order of eliminations. Megafan Jordan had written them all down just for this purpose.
Sports fan Dan knew immediately the finale was at Candlestick Park. The cowboys knew, too. It wasn’t a rocket science riddle.
The bros ran onto the field first. Alas!
Here’s the final leg itinerary:
Leg 12 (People’s Republic of China → United States)
* Flight: Shanghai (Shanghai Pudong International Airport) to San Francisco, California, USA United States (San Francisco International Airport)
* San Francisco (Coit Tower)
* San Francisco (Letterman Digital Arts Center)
* San Francisco (The Great American Music Hall)
* San Francisco (Candlestick Park)