By Gina Carbone
It’s a worrying sign when someone makes Miss J look sane.
Vogue editor-at-large André Leon Talley — he of the “Famine of beauty” line in “The September Issue” — has replaced J. Alexander on the “America’s Next Top Model” judges panel.
He provided not much beyond crazy asides and new terms like “Dreckitude” during the second week of ANTM cycle 14.
Even Tyra Banks gave him the eyebrow raise once or twice.
Eccentric is one thing — J. Alexander is that in spades — but André saved Alasia during the first of two eliminations on “Dreckitude” by being the only judge who liked her nude photo where she wore a jacket backwards with her arm across her and her ass hanging out.
That’s not eccentric, that’s just loopy.
But he not only liked it, he made some long-winded pitch about how he’d hang the photo in his salon. Then defined salon.
He also seemed to love Alasia’s cold, colorful perfume ad photo (why, why, why did they need to have wind and rain and colored perfume dye? None of those elements add up to “that looks like it smells great!”)
So Alasia Ballard is in and somehow exotic Naduah Rugley is out.
I don’t care if Naduah wears too much makeup, even after the makeup artists put stuff on her.
I don’t even care if she is a pathological liar, although there’s no proof of that beyond gossip from the girls in the house.
She’s uniquely beautiful. She took one bad photo.
Alasia also took a hideous nude photo, didn’t stand out during the Rachel Roy fashion show and produced a perfume photo that looked like snot was dripping from her chin.
(And Alasia really, really, really does need to shut the eff up. Ren Vokes is coming off like an arrogant beyatch, but she’s right about Alasia’s mouth.)
Jessica Serfaty, who looks like a Disney character, won the naked photo shoot.
Alasia was in the bottom two after that, along with Gabrielle Kniery, aka The Other Angelea.
Gabrielle was sent home and I’m glad for it. She was odd looking and not in that ugly-pretty intriguing way that works for “Top Model.” She had a famine of beauty.
Poor Alexandra Underwood. What’s the worst case scenario when you picture a runway walk where you have to get down a set of stairs and then walk through two huge swinging pendulums?
She fell first going down the stairs, and her face showed her frustration and anger. Then she was knocked clean off the runway by one of the pendulums.
But she still made it longer than Naduah.
I don’t know what the heck they are thinking, but I never want to enter any salon with that ugly ass photo of Alasia.
Dreckitude is right.
Here are the remaining contestants, in order of my preference: (For photos of all the contestants, visit the official Web site here.)
1. Ren Vokes — I’m suspicious about how she ended up on this season, but she is so arresting and “model” looking I can’t help but want to see more of her.
2. Raina Hein — I like her personality and judging by her winning perfume ad photo, she has the confidence and modeling chops to go far.
3. Krista White — Tall, skinny, gorgeous skin, those cheekbones. Love some good cheekbones.
4. Brenda Arens — Shut up about your hair, it looks good. She won the runway challenge and got to keep her clothes. I think she actually wanted to keep them, too, unlike Jessica, who was probably less excited.
5. Tatianna Kern — I think Andre called her perfume look romantic and that’s the best word to describe her so far.
6. Anslee Payne-Franklin — Speaking of cheekbones. But I’m not completely sold on her yet.
7. Simone Lewis — She does look like a pretty girl used to being called pretty without putting forth any effort, as Rachel noted.
8. Jessica Serfaty — Just looking at her I’m not impressed, but she’s shown she can impress the judges.
9. Alexandra Underwood — I feel sorry for her and I know she’s competitive, but she doesn’t belong here and I don’t think she’ll be around for long.
10. Angelea Johnson — Never thought I’d have her be the SECOND to last, but I’m too frustrated about Alasia to put her last.
11. Alasia Ballard — Looking forward to when Andre stops saving her.