I signed.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Seriously, I go away for a few days and America lets the terrorists win.

Where were you when Mullet Boy needed you?

I don’t know what to say when my Mullet Boy Alex Lambert and indie rock girl Lilly Scott are evicted from “American Idol” season nine — already the worst on record, even before this auditory genocide — and Tim Urban is STILL wandering around the stage with Who Is Aaron Kelly and Paige Miles, who practically dared America to keep her after the horror show of “Smile.”

I can only guess that America is voting for the people they deem most in need of serious help. (Vote for the Worst is loving this season.)

I’ve been playing up Mullet Boy because I was worried people wouldn’t appreciate the slow burn of his appeal.

Lilly I never worried about for a minute. I thought she was keeping Crystal Bowersox nervous as the already-declared frontrunner.

No surprise to see Katelyn Epperly and Todrick Hall out of the “American Idol” top 12 — she blew every shot and he was never really understood by the judges — but Alex and Lilly were the wrong choices to go if the final objective is still to introduce America to the next big hitherto undiscovered talent.

Sorry, but that was Mullet. I love Siobhan Magnus, but Mullet is everything that “American Idol” was supposed to be about.

So not only do I support this petition to “Bring Alex Lambert BACK on American Idol” (which currently has 15,295 signatures out of its goal of 25,000), I think it’s time for “American Idol” to change its voting process to closer match something like “Dancing with the Stars.”

Lilly, I never thought you were in danger.

On DWTS, contestants are saved or sent home based on a combination of viewer votes and the judges’ scores.

This makes even more sense for “Idol” because at the end of the show Simon Cowell and company have to keep the singer and use them to make money.

When America makes silly knee-jerk choices based on fleeting likability — (*cough*Taylor Hicks*cough*) — this reveals itself to be a bad idea.

We all know the “Idol” voting system has been hijacked by 13-year-old girls and the state of Arkansas.

So why continue to cater to them when there’s a country full of people who maybe vote once or twice for their favorite singers and then go to bed?

It’s not like the 13-year-olds are going to buy Tim Urban’s songs 1,000 times on iTunes just because they vote for him 1,000 times. They’ll just buy one song, if that.

I’ll also buy one song at a time — from Alex or Lilly, wherever they go next.

At least once a year I threaten to stop watching “American Idol,” but this time I am really doing it.

At 8 p.m. tonight I will promptly not watch “Idol” and I will continue to not watch for the rest of the season, unless they bring Alex Lambert back.

Sorry, Team Shiv. I wish you all the best, but my heart is no longer in it.

Read past American Idol stories here.

Advertisements