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By Gina Carbone
She’s pulling a Jake! They’re letting her pull a Jake!
Ali Fedotowsky made a brief return to “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” Monday after leaving last week for work.
She made a pitch to Jake Pavelka to stay.
And today Ali’s telling Ellen DeGeneres she’d be happy to be the next “Bachelorette.” Sort of.
“That would be so nice,” Ali told Ellen Tuesday on her show. “I would be so flattered. … If (ABC) were to ask me, that would be so great.”
Once again, in your face, Facebook. She loves you. She loves you not.
Ali’s direct answer to Ellen was “I don’t know,” but mostly because Ellen also asked what about her job and she can’t very well tell her boss to screw it until she’s signed the “Bachelorette” paperwork.
But this reminds me of when Jake was dumped by Jillian Harris on “The Bachelorette,” but had his own orchestrated return to the show to tell Jillian that Wes Hayden had a girlfriend.
That didn’t work out too well for him with Jillian, but he did end up becoming a “fan favorite” — like Ali — and found himself dating 25 women.
(Meanwhile, in his People.com blog, Jake said “I will always love Ali and she will always have a great friend in me.” He also dispelled rumors about whom he would’ve dumped if Ali had stayed. “”Many speculate that if Ali had not left to go back to work, Gia would have gone home at the rose ceremony in episode six. This is absolutely not true. I had no idea which girl wasn’t getting a rose, and fortunately I never had to make that decision.”)
For the record, Ali should not be the next “Bachelorette.” She has proven herself incapable of making decisions without whining like a child.
Considering every “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” feels compelled to announce at least once an episode that “this is harder than I thought,” I can’t condone putting myself through more “I don’t knooooowww!” tears from Ali.
There. It’s on the record. I am 99 percent sure she will be the next “Bachelorette” but she does not have my endorsement.
Of course it doesn’t matter what I think and it’s never mattered who the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” really is because the 25-30 men and women they cast are the real draws.
So I’ve just talked myself into a circle. So what. It’s on the verge of snowing 4-8 inches in New Hampshire and I don’t feel like doing anything worthwhile today.
Anyway, USA Today has a poll up, but the choices are no good. They only offer Ali, Gia, Vienna or Tenley as “Bachelorette” options. I say none of the above.
Here is the poll as it stood on Tuesday morning, with 219 votes:
Should Ali be the next ‘Bachelorette?’
By Gina Carbone
We’re finally down to the final two on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”
Read a recap of the fantasy suite episode here. (Farewell Gia Allemand … and Ali Fedotowsky Part II.)
Jake Pavelka has whittled his choices from 25 to Tenley Molzahn, 25 of Newberg, Ore.; and Vienna Girardi, 23, of Geneva, Fla.
Both have been through failed marriages — Tenley’s 15-month marriage to Ryan Natividad ended after he allegedly had an affair with his now fiancee, Christina Latham. (Christina denies Ryan cheated on Tenley)
Vienna admitted she didn’t really know Josh Riley before marrying him, and during their 10-month relationship he claims she cheated on him and took his money to pay for breast implants.
During the fantasy suite dates in St. Lucia, Jake said he was falling in love with both women and could see either one as his wife.
SPOILER ALERT FOR THE FIVE PEOPLE WHO DON’T ALREADY KNOW
That may sound crazy. Even Jake admitted, in his way, that his decision goes against common sense.
“I think the ending is probably going to puzzle a lot of people,” Jake told TVGuide.com. “And I think some others are going to go, ‘Ok, yeah. If you look back, you could see this.'”
So, if this is true — and all signs point to Jake at least choosing Vienna, if not proposing and ending up engaged to her — do you think Tenley should be the next “Bachelorette”?
It seems like a stretch to see her dating 25 guys at once. But … maybe?
Catch up on the madness by reading these 38 “Bachelor”/”Bachelorette” stories/recaps/gossip/predictions/spoilers and other blather.
Don’t give me that look. You have time.
By Gina Carbone
Try not to stagger back from shock and anger, but I think I figured out why Jake Pavelka picks Vienna Girardi at the end of “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”
(Note “picks” not “proposes and is now engaged to.”)
I believe I cracked the code during the usually pointless video messages from the three ladies to Jake.
Vienna, Tenley Molzahn and ousted swimsuit model Gia Allemand all said they were falling in love with Jake.
And he said it back.
The word “love” has not been so blithely tossed around since Shakespeare doled out his first sonnets … probably after hearing a video message like this one straight from Vienna’s fake chest to Mr. Dateless’ heart:
Vienna: “I want to wake up in your arms for the rest of my life. And I want to flirt with you for the next 80 years ‘cause I’m completely in love with you and you mean the world to me. And I can’t wait to be your wife. You’re everything to me.”
I think that’s why Jake chooses Vienna. Because she chose him. She said all the things he wanted to hear — and maybe even meant them in the moment she said them.
But will they be flirting with each other in the next 80 years? Maybe. Doubt it.
Unless Vienna gets drunk at some Spring Break party and mistakes Jake for someone she hasn’t already flirted with. (Was that mean? Maybe that was mean. But was it probably true?)
So it’s down to Vienna and Tenley. Jake said he can see his future wife “in both of them.”
Obviously he should pick Tenley. That’s obvious, right? Too obvious, maybe. He looks at her like a cross between a porcelain doll and a puppy.
Vienna he just drools over. And when I say “he” I mean Little Jake. Little Jake is calling the shots.
Never mind about Ali Fedotowsky, by the way. That whole staged phone call was just a way for Jake to be seen as the one ending the relationship. No extra baggage. I agree with RealitySteve that it was most likely something the producers forced her to do, since she is still under contract.
“At this point in the journey I am not in love with Ali,” Jake said.
He got over her pretty darn fast. It had only been a week, Chris Harrison confirmed.
“I’m completely heartbroken,” Ali said. “I know with 100 percent certainty that I made the wrong choice.”
In your face, Facebook!
Not only that, she said she’s having trouble focusing on work. So she’s half-assing everything.
“I don’t know that I’ll find anyone like Jake ever again,” Ali sobs.
Well, here’s hoping that’s true. You don’t want to find a guy dating you and three other women at the same time.
Ali should be able to find such a guy, if she avoids Bill Paxton on “Big Love.”
I now have no viable candidates for “The Bachelorette.” I’m no on Ali, no on Tenley, no on anyone else this season. Ideas?
JAKE REVIEWS HIS OPTIONS
St. Lucia is like being in a dream, Jake said. It’s the perfect place to fall in love.
Oh-HO! We see him standing with hands on a white balcony. Great potential for sobbing-at-the-balcony-Mesnick-style. I look forward to this gun going off in the third act.
Lots of recapping, starting with Gia. She makes his heart skip a beat. Their chemistry is amazing.
I never noticed how Tenley described herself as “Tenley, like the number 10.”
I bet she’s been saying that her whole life.
Jake, predictably, calls Tenley “sweet” and would bring so much “joy” to a family. He would be “so blessed” with her.
Jake said he remembers meeting Vienna and having her be as “bold as she could possibly be.”
At the beginning he felt Vienna would be “a very risky choice” for him.
He lost it during their bungee jump and “at that moment, I realized she’s just an amazing girl.”
What if it had been Gia or Tenley on that jump?
He acknowledged that Vienna was the center of the drama, but “our connection is undeniable.”
So he’s decided to ignore what everyone else says.
He said Vienna is a little immature but not so much that they couldn’t mature together.
Sure, Jake. (Pat on the head.) Sure.
Then we talk about Ali…
FLASH TO SAN FRANCISCO
The cameras watch Ali wake up. Looks like a hotel room. There are PR pics of Jake next to her bed — the ones where he’s in a pilot uniform holding a single rose. Come on.
She makes her “my life is without love” speech. She said she can’t focus on work.
Point of order: If I were her boss, I’d just make this easy and fire her. Give her no choice but to go for Jake. If she can’t focus on work, then she’s not doing her job.
Man, St. Lucia looks windy as heck.
Jake still thinks Gia is holding back. What else do you need from her?
She has too much hair for that wind. Buy a Scrunchie.
They take a boat across the river and go shopping.
Jake said traveling together is a great way to get to know someone. If you can’t travel together, he said, it won’t work.
True enough, but having ABC foot the bill for fancy hotel rooms and boats and stuff is not traveling together. Traveling together is suffering through long waits at the airport together and having your luggage lost, then fighting over how to get from A to B at your destination. It’s “The Amazing Race” minus the race or exotic destinations. Maybe it’s not “The Amazing Race.”
Wait, Gia has $1,000 shoes? Are they made of solid chocolate? Nothing else is worth that much.
Jake got her a necklace.
They go swimming. She must get tired of lounging around water in a swimsuit.
Jake was really enjoying being there with Gia and he wants to see more of that tonight.
(He was going to dump her and keep Ali, wasn’t he. Yeah. Seems that way.)
Gia wants them to say “I love you” and “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Gia takes a moment to trash her ex-boyfriends again.
She’s a trained ballerina and she looks it to Jake with her dress and tiara hair thingee.
She’s bringing out his protective instincts.
They have a candlelit dinner by the beach. There are “Survivor” torches in the background. Gia, if Colby Donaldson walks out, RUN AWAY WITH HIM. Do it for me. It’s been my fantasy for years.
Jake pulled out her chair and it became another opportunity to quickly diss everyone else Gia has ever met.
He goes on about how “drop-dead gorgeous” she is. But she’s also “very deep.”
They’ve had this conversation at least a half dozen times. At some point I’d like to hear them ask each other about their favorite movies or songs or TV shows. What books are they reading? What’s the last great concert they went to? Where do they want to go that they’ve never been before? Real stuff.
Oh Lord, ANOTHER subtle dig to the exes, when Gia compliments Jake on saying so many things she can’t imagine any other guy she’s met saying.
If this were a drinking game we’d all be having one of those “FlashForward” blackouts.
Love how this is a card from Chris Harrison. Not Jake’s idea! Chris is the pimp. Jake is the john. Gia is the call girl, if she chooses to accept it.
“I’m ready to go all the way,” Gia said.
See, this is why Jake made such a pitch to be on “The Bachelor,” while on “The Bachelorette” — and why he picked girls like Gia and Vienna.
Nice guy my butt.
They made out in the hot tub and we watched for some sick voyeuristic reason.
Jake said his life with her flashed before his eyes.
He could see himself proposing to her in the end.
Or he could just get some and leave. One of the two.
Anyone else noticing that Vienna keeps getting the final dates?
For a guy that falls in love with every person he meets, he’s likely to be most impressed by the last impression. Which Vienna knew, which is why she wanted to be his final date girl many moons ago. Guess she always gets her way.
They go flying in still another helicopter.
They had a picnic outside in the middle of a rainforest. A sugar plantation?
Tenley said she can’t fall all the way in love without knowing he has the same marriage values as her.
Tenley hasn’t had a picnic with a boy in years.
She wants to know how he’ll “pursue” her when they’re together. Will they have picnics together?
He said one of the great things about the airline is they can just pick up and go.
She talks about how the little things are most important.
Tenley said she can see them together and she can see them being really happy.
Aww. Jake said 20 years into a marriage he’ll still have a “little boy crush” on his wife.
That’s actually nice. And he does look good in that light blue shirt … STOP! You are not allowed to like someone who likes Vienna. (Slap wrist.)
(Although his “crush” comment sounds like the same thing Vienna said about flirting when they are in their 80s.)
Tenley’s hair does not seem to be 100 percent in this rainforest. It must be very humid.
Another girl. Another ocean sunset swim.
Tenley hasn’t been with another man since she was married. In case we missed that.
She’s worried about the fantasy suite situation. I don’t like the idea of Jake and Tenley going all the way, knowing that he is probably also going all the way with Gia and Vienna. No one wants to be sloppy thirds.
Tenley’s ex-husband is the only person she’s ever spent the night with. In case we missed that.
It’s only 8:44 p.m. This is feeling a bit sloooooowww and tired. These dates are so similar. Too similar.
Lots of bugs in the background. Can we translate what they are saying? I bet it’s more interesting than this “having been married before…” conversation.
Tenley said she’s really falling in love with him. She “melted my heart,” Jake said.
OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. Tenley said Jake had to lead her in the dance and he can “lead me in life.”
“She deserves the world,” Jake said. He likes the way she looks at him. (Like a puppy does…)
“Every time we kiss I’m running on a treadmill,” he said, touching his heart after many kisses.
The “This came from Chris Harrison” speech again. Jake said he’s “really excited” about it. Twice.
I think that’s really “really nervous” about it. Because he knows this is Tenley.
“I want every second that I can have with you,” she said. So she accepts and says she’ll spend the night with him.
NOOOO! Tenley, don’t sell out, just out of fear of losing him to four fake boobs and one fake nose!
Can you imagine how disgusted she must feel knowing that Jake picks Vienna?
Jake said he loves her values, morals and temperament.
So … is she not going to have sex with him? Just spend the night together as in cuddling or spooning? Yes, I’m asking. No, it’s none of my business. I know that. Deal.
They are in the pool together, kissing. Apparently water nymph make-outs were mandatory for all the “ladies.”
Jake wants that “fun, light, almost immature side” of Vienna because he can be that way sometimes himself.
They get to ride the “Pirates of the Caribbean” pirate ship. So. Not. Fair.
She makes him wear an eye patch.
I can see why he likes her. I can. She’s fun. But is she … no … no…NO! NOO!
They are playing the instrumental “On the Wings of Love” music again! NOOOOOOO!
As I was trying to say before I was aurally traumatized, she’s fun. But is she wife material at this point?
I’d say no.
They climb the masts. What are they doing? I thought they were afraid of heights? They conquered their fears with that one jump?
They are high. I have been on a tall ship like this. That is seriously high.
Fearless? Since when? I thought they were both afraid of heights and that’s how they initially bonded. Why am I feeling betrayed by this?
Vienna walks the plank. If only.
Jake does his perfect dive into the water.
What are the odds — they have a swimsuit water nymph make-out session, “From Here to Eternity” style.
“It just works,” Jake said. She has a “nurturing” (ahem) quality that puts him at ease.
Rolling on the sand with Vienna was “pretty smoking’ hot,” he said.
Jake said that night he has to make sure he’s not just physically attracted to Vienna. He wants to make sure there’s some substance to her heart.
Way to leave that to the last minute. Something tells me you’re not going to crack that code on Fantasy Suite Night (as sponsored by Chris Harrison).
Vienna said she’s going to put her heart on her sleeve about how she feels. Shocker: She’s falling for Jake, too.
Vienna said she wants to be a mom, but she knows she wants to wait a few years.
Jake: “But you are ready to be married, right?”
23-year-old divorcee: “Absolutely. Absolutely.”
Jake asks about her Daddy ring. … But he asks the wrong question. He asks what kinds of rings she likes. She likes thin bands for skinny fingers.
Way to ask the tough questions, Jake.
She asks if he can see her as his wife. He immediately says yes.
But he tells her he has also fallen for the two other women.
The bugs are so freaking LOUD. Turn up the mics.
Vienna said she wants to be completely honest with him …
I’m so naïve — part of me thought she was going to talk more about her past.
Instead, she said she can’t see herself being without him.
“When I’m not with you, you’re all I think about…” And something about when she’s with him he’s everything or whatever.
“I love that you told me that,” Jake said. “That’s what I’ve always loved about you is just your brutal honesty. I always know where I stand with you. I always know that I can count on that. That means so much to me that I can’t put it into words.”
That she thinks about you all the time? That’s just a platitude.
“So with that said…”
He pulls out the Fantasy Suite card, as sponsored by Chris Harrison.
Jake gives off a nervous chuckle.
Vienna asks if he’s a good cuddler. She said they need some alone time.
Jake loved her white lingerie. We watch them makeout on the bed with rose petals on it.
He said she is so sexy. Most of it is fake, though. Literally. The hair. The boobs.
Little Jake doesn’t care. Little Jake is making this call himself.
“You’re amazing. I’m so crazy about you,” we hear Jake say through the bedroom doors.
(To Vienna, presumably, but wishful thinking: Maybe he’s talking about himself? Or Chris Harrison?)
Classic infatuation. Like Henry VIII turning England on its head over Anne Boleyn. Or not. That may be pushing it.
THE ALI PHONE CALL
She calls him. The ABC cameras happened to be in San Francisco to catch her talking to Jake.
“I know I made the wrong choice” she says at one point “and I want to come back.”
Jake is trying to process her request to return.
It’s so bad soap opera. Telemundo would turn it down.
Ali told the phone that she knew the second she drove away that she wanted to come back.
“I’m so sorry. I so, so unbelievably sorry that I put you through that night.”
“You drove away with a piece of my heart,” he said.
I’m doing an abridged version because this is truly even more LAME than I expected.
He said the time they missed together was so “critical.”
(Re: I didn’t get to spend the night with you in the Fantasy Suite, sponsored by Chris Harrison.)
Ali said she really wants to come back. She doesn’t care if he sees her and sends her right back.
What a waste of time!
Jake: “Ali, I was falling in love with you in San Francisco. But the problem is, when you left it really forced me to put what I felt for you aside and Ali I can honestly tell you I’m further along with these three women here. And I don’t know who I would send home, you know, to have you back. I don’t know how I could make that happen.”
The decision she made has given her the most regret.
Jake: “Everything about me wants to say ‘Get on a plane, get here right now.’ I’m falling in love with these women that are here. I just … Ali, I just have to go with my heart. I know what it’s telling me. I know exactly what it’s telling me….”
So that whole video clip they showed of him saying “Get on a plane, get here right now” was the classic (and expected) edit manipulation. They made it seem like he was asking her to come back when he was basically saying the opposite.
Keep that kind of editing manipulation in mind when you replay the Rozlyn Papa incident in your head. They do this ALL THE TIME.
Soft piano music as they apologize to each other.
So this was the producers giving Jake a chance to be the one to end the relationship.
It makes it look like his decision, not hers.
But, as RealitySteve noted, she did not physically return to the show and she is contractually obligated to do what they want her to do.
Jake: “At this point in the journey I am not in love with Ali.”
He’s trusting that his heart is leading him elsewhere.
“I’m completely heartbroken,” Ali said. “I know with 100 percent certainty that I made the wrong choice.”
Wow. What 180s on both sides.
It’s only been a week for us, but it’s only been at most, what, a month for Jake since he saw her last … right? He was able to forget her that quickly? Dang.
“I don’t know that I’ll find anyone like Jake ever again.”
Jake sat down with Chris and claimed he did not see Ali’s phone call coming. Sure, Jake. Sure.
Jake recaps the dates for Chris.
OK, now Gia’s shoes are “$700 shoes.” Maybe she really got them at Payless.
He’s falling in love with Gia.
Something about Tenley. I missed it. It floated away like a little feathery thing.
Vienna is always herself, Jake said, and it puts him at ease.
They have a natural chemistry.
Jake said last night Vienna told him she is in love with him.
And he feels he is in love with her.
“In love” is deeper than “falling for.”
Chris said Vienna is in love and Tenley is in love and Gia is “right there” with them — which seems to suggest that Gia is the one who has not said the word “I love you” or “I’m in love with you” or something.
Jake told Chris he is “in love” with “each of these women” for different reasons.
We watch Jake watch the video messages.
What secret messages have these things ever given conflicted bachelors? They all say the same things over and over again. Just “I am falling in love with you” and other things spliced together in creative editing.
“I want to wake up in your arms for the rest of my life. And I want to flirt with you for the next 80 years ‘cause I‘m completely in love with you and you mean the world to me. And I can’t wait to be your wife. You‘re everything to me.”
I think that’s why he chooses her. Because she chose him.
1st rose: Tenley
2nd rose: Vienna
Set the bar high for the next guy, Jake told Gia. “Make him work for you.”
Jake said their relationship was a little “start/stop.”
She cried, but said she was happy for him because he picked two great girls. That’s right. Gia is the only one who liked Vienna.
It was the only time Jake saw Gia cry.
THE WOMEN TELL ALL
Next week is “The Women Tell All.” We get to hear from Crazy Michelle and Ali, who talks about why she left, etc.
Oh and Rozlyn Papa gets thrown under the bus AGAIN with special never-before seen footage that supposedly nails down the huge betrayal of a woman “cheating” on a man dating 25 other girls.
I can’t wait to hear more from Wes Hayden. I always liked him. Not to date or anything, but just to have around for amusement’s sake.
Jake would never propose unless he was 100 percent sure. So do you think he proposes to Vienna? Do you think they are now engaged? Or does he give her some kind of promise ring? Are they still together now? I wanna know now!
By Gina Carbone
This sounds like much guido about nothing, but I’m posting it anyway.
Dominick Pierno, who is probably helping “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” swimsuit model Gia Allemand grow her insecurity to epic proportions, has just complained to the New York Post that Gia is not single — she’s been dating him on-and-off for two years.
(I’m guessing it just switched to a solid “off”!)
To quote the Post story:
“Gia Allemand — one of the three finalists hoping to snag the final rose from pilot Jake Pavelka on ABC’s “The Bachelor” — already has a boyfriend. The brunette stunner, who once dated oft-injured Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano, has been dating Dominick Pierno, owner of Lavatola restaurant in Lynbrook, LI, on-and-off for two years. ‘She was on the show and said she broke up with me. Meanwhile, we had dinner at Philippe the other night,’ an irked Pierno told Page Six. ABC said Allemand was too busy taping to talk.”
Considering the “Bachelor” episode in question was taped months ago — and Jake Pavelka reportedly dumps Gia tonight — it makes perfect sense for her to be having dinner with this guy “the other night.”
Except for the fact that he sounds like a twat.
Gia, why pick up all of New York’s trash? There are professionals for that.
Read more about Gia here — including the other sports guy she dated and why she supposedly regrets her boob job. (Oh. And Gia is not her real first name.)
Anyway, here’s a reminder/ABC press release about what we’re going to watch tonight:
“THE BACHELOR: ON THE WINGS OF LOVE,” MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15
“Episode 1407” – Romantic adventures await Jake and the final three women – Gia, Tenley and Vienna – as they travel to the picturesque Caribbean island of St. Lucia. From the rain forest to an old sugar plantation to a pirate ship, the dates are filled with excitement and passion, as Jake continues to explore what his future would be like with each of these potential mates. At the end of each evening, Jake will present the bachelorette with an invitation to spend an intimate night together in a “fantasy suite,” with the hope that she will accept. But will she? It’s a wild, romantic ride with each of the women – until Jake has to make another heart-wrenching decision – tremendously complicated by a departed bachelorette who pleads for a second chance, on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love,” MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.
Jake is falling hard for Gia and takes her by speedboat to the local marketplace in Gros Islet. Can Gia let go of her fast paced city lifestyle and enjoy relaxed island life? Over a romantic moonlit dinner in a secluded cove, she reveals to Jake that she has been more open with him than with the other guys she’s dated. But will she have the courage to share her true feelings for him?
The next day it’s Tenley’s turn, and Jake surprises her with a scenic helicopter tour of the island followed by a romantic picnic in the rain forest of an old sugar plantation. Tenley is smitten with Jake, but she’s worried about staying with him in the fantasy suite. Having only been with her ex-husband, the sensitive bachelorette questions whether she’s truly ready to take this intimate step and put her past solidly behind her.
Jake’s final outing of the week is with Vienna. The couple explore the enchanted island aboard a pirate ship, the Brig Unicorn, which leads to a romantic swim on a private beach. She’s falling in love with Jake, but she’s scared. Vienna must decide whether to lay her heart on the line even though she knows he has feelings for the other two women.
The Bachelor has fallen in love with all three women – all for different reasons – and he’s about to face his toughest decision yet. However, he finds himself unexpectedly challenged by a determined, departed bachelorette who has had a change of heart and hopes she can convince Jake to make her a part of his life again.
In the end, Jake sends one woman home in tears and offers the final two roses to the women who will meet his family in hopes that he’ll choose them in the dramatic season finale.
The three women are:
Gia, 26, a swimsuit model from New York, NY
Tenley, 25, a college admissions representative from Newberg, OR
Vienna, 23, a marketing representative from Sanford, FL
By Gina Carbone
Don’t you wish your breakups were this lucrative?
Melissa Rycroft — “The Bachelor’s” most famous dumpee — is reportedly up against Brooke Burke and Vanessa Minnillo for the gig to replace departing co-host Samantha Harris opposite host Tom Bergeron on “Dancing with the Stars.”
Melissa came in third during the eighth season of DWTS. Brooke won season seven and Vanessa is three people removed from the whole thing, since she’s dating Nick Lachey, whose brother Drew won the disco ball trophy.
If you like Mel, pray that ABC picks her and then dumps her for Brooke or Vanessa. That seems to be her lucky charm.
Sign me up for the world’s shortest engagement, followed by a televised breakup, followed within minutes by my ex-fiance asking the runner-up out for coffee — as long as it’s followed by a cushy timeline like this:
• Jason Mesnick dumped Melissa for Molly Malaney (whom he is scheduled to marry on ABC next month) in March of 2009.
• The same month — within days of the show airing, actually — Mel was picked to fill the slot vacated by Nancy O’Dell, who had to withdraw from the competition on March 5 due to a knee injury.
• In June 2009, it was revealed that Melissa would be joining morning television news and talk show “Good Morning America” as a special contributor.
• She was named to People magazine’s list of World’s Most Beautiful People 2009 and named #99 on Maxim’s list of “Hot 100 of 2009.”
• She married her boyfriend Tye Strickland last December in Mexico and it looks like she sold the pics to whoever wanted them.
• She joined Ryan Seacrest in December in Times Square for the “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest” special.
• She recently took on a reporting gig with “Entertainment Tonight” and her first assignment was covering the “We Are The World” recording session in Los Angeles. Future assignments will reportedly include parties, award shows, premieres and set visits. (Just like Tiger Woods’ “Mistress No. 1,” Rachel Uchitel, who just interviewed our boy Jake Pavelka for “Extra.”)
• And now this thing with DWTS.
“They’re only testing those three on camera for now,” a production insider told E! News. “The testing will happen some time next week.”
If the casting session doesn’t work out, E! reported, ABC has a backup plan to “rotate past contestants” in the role as backstage interviewer, with Rycroft, Burke, Drew Lachey and Nancy O’Dell among those at the top of the list. (Note: Nancy O’Dell was not a past contestant. She’s the whole reason Mel ended up on the show.)
And that’s not even mentioning that before “The Bachelor” Melissa was on the CMT reality TV series “Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team,” which is how she was able to introduce herself to Jason as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.
No offense, but am I the only one who’s done with this chick?
Besides, Tom Bergeron doesn’t need more tan & teeth as a sidekick. If he needs anyone at all backstage talking to the contestants it should be Crazy Cloris Leachman.
You know she’d do the best interviews.
By Gina Carbone
Actually, an ’80s side ponytail with raccoon eye makeup is a good look for Nicki … just saying.
For a show with “Love” in the title and a V-Day premiere date, there wasn’t much love in the “Big Love” season four episode “Under One Roof.”
There was, however, enough going on. It just happened to be pretty sad.
Especially since the most loving couple on the show was ripped apart — and creepy, loveless couplings grew stronger.
(Although there were some good online-liners, like perpetually not-pregnant Nicki snapping that she should just scrounge around a restaurant for a baby.)
Frank (Bruce Dern) and Lois (Grace Zabriskie) turned their family “vacation” to Mexico with Ben (Douglas Smith) and poor Jodean (Mireille Enos) into a Keystone Kops episode as they got dragged away by unfriendly old faces.
Way to try to make it right with Ben after screwing up Bill’s childhood!
Anyway, don’t expect to see Ben home anytime soon.
(I’m so tired of this “dad threw me out plot.” I saw that episode. Bill did not throw Ben out. Ben was already packing to leave. He told Bill he thought it would be best for him to go away for a while. Bill just agreed. Big, big, big difference between that and being dumped by the side of the road.)
On the creepy compound side of things, terrified Cara Lynn (Cassi Thomson) was about to be given away to a repulsive old man who told her they were both “lucky” that she would be his seventh wife.
This disgusting scene was salvaged by the heroic efforts of Nicki (Chloe Sevigny, proving why she won the Golden Globe) — in full tacky 1980s regalia in protest of her mother’s sealing to JJ (Zeljko Ivanek) — who stormed into their sleazy hotel room and dragged Cara Lynn away, screaming to the creepy man and JJ (Zeljko Ivanek) that if they ever touched Cara Lynn again she would kill them.
It was good to see Nicki get to play the hero. Usually she’s the whiny pill of the story.
Not so good to see JJ and Adaleen (Mary Kay Place) consummate their wedding. Talk about awkward. Not the sexiest honeymoon night. And the singing just made it worse.
Ana (Branka Katic) accidentally revealed her pregnancy while Bill (Bill Paxton) and Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn) were dining at the restaurant where she works.
Ana initially told the whole Henrickson crew to shove it, then reconsidered just to Bill. She’d let him be involved in the child’s life, but she didn’t want the full package. Just a la carte.
Bill said OK, which ticked Barb off. She talked to Ana directly and discovered Ana is — surprise! — engaged to someone else and — surprise! — the baby Barb wants to be involved with was conceived before Bill and Ana’s 48-hour marriage.
Stung, Barb decided to retaliate by making her own big decision behind Bill’s back — she let sneaky Marilyn (Sissy Spacek) sign her way into the casino world. (Bill on Marilyn: “She’s a shark, with a price tag of a whale.”)
It was interesting to hear Bill try to defend his pre-marital indiscretion to Barb. He did the same thing with Margene before they got married. I tell you, Barb is the most patient first wife of all time. She puts up with so much, especially since Bill’s response was basically that he’s not a perfect man and he’s been “tested.”
And failed every time!
The “tested” thing was interesting because it paralleled Dale’s personal struggle.
In this episode Bill learned about Alby’s (Matt Ross) affair with UEB trustee Dale (Ben Koldyke).
Bill got a little help with this intel, thanks to Alby’s scorned wife Laura (Anne Dudek, always down for some solid scorn).
Laura also paid a visit to Dale’s family.
Nicki knows about Alby’s homosexual feelings, too.
The saddest event of the episode came at the end when Alby held a bouquet of roses for his beloved Dale while he tried to reach him on his cell phone.
He ended the phone conversation with “I love you,” then opened the door to their secret apartment … and there was Dale, hanging from the ceiling.
Suicide is not good for the soul, man.
I’m heartbroken! I loved their love. They were the most affectionate couple on a show with many marriages and few love matches.
Dale’s inner struggle just consumed him. He couldn’t live a double life as easily as Bill.
I wish I could just grab these people smack them around and set them straight. Dale should’ve divorced his poor wife, who deserves someone who loves her, and Alby should somehow get unsealed from evil Laura.
Then Dale and Alby should move to the West Coast or Mexico or somewhere and just drink cocktails on the beach.
Pipe dream, I know, but it’s a more attainable goal than Bill actually coming out as a polygamist and living in that giant house in the open with Barb, Nicki and Margene.
Dale, I’ll miss you.
By Gina Carbone
I’ve been waiting for a few good “Project Runway” season seven spoilers. This isn’t much, but it’s something.
E! has news that “Project Runway” sent 10 designers to Bryant Park this morning for the finale show, as opposed to the usual three.
Could this be because season six took 500 years to air, thanks to the Bravo/Lifetime lawsuit situation, and now they want to … dunno … stave off the kind of fashion week spoilers that basically gave away the season six ending months in advance?
(Anyone who saw Irina Shabayeva‘s collection and didn’t know it would win is blind.)
The bad news: We’re told nothing that went down the runway rivaled Irina’s collection. I liked Irina, but she’s no Christian Siriano or even Korto Momolu.
**Update: See for yourself here at Blogging Project Runway. They show all 10 “Project Runway” season 7 designers with their 10-piece collections at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
Having seen the collections now myself, I like Amy and Seth Aaron best, with an understanding of what Mila may have been up to. Jay is overrated. No idea how Janeane is still in the competition. I liked one or two of Jesse’s pieces, which surprised me, since I’ve liked not much beyond his face since he got on the show. Jonathan still looks like David Cook.
The surprising news: There are currently still 11 designers in the competition, so 10 pieces down the runway means someone is missing. That person, who will be going home this coming Thursday, appears to be … Maya Luz, the mini Mila Hermanovski.
(*Update* Except, Maya wasn’t cut on Thursday during the children’s clothing challenge. Janeane was. WTF?)
(*March 28 Update* Will Maya “walk away” from the show this week?)
Based on what they saw on the runway this morning, E! made some guesses as to who will win “Project Runway” this year:
“Our guesses for who made the final? While we can’t be sure, we can tell you that Jonathan, Jeanane, Jesse and Ben probably didn’t make it to the end. Amy, Jay and Mila are probably good bets for the win.”
Click here to read details about each designer on the runway.
For the record, I thought Anthony Williams’ blue Marie Claire dress looked like a Leanne Marshall copy.
Ben Chemura had the best dress this week, although Emilio Sosa is still my favorite overall.
Seth Aaron Henderson is still my second. Amy Sarabi is my third.
When did Jay Nicolas Sario become a frontrunner? Big no from me on him, so far.
By Gina Carbone
“The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” was filmed a few months ago, and everything that went down between Jake Pavelka and Ali Fedotowsky — whether she returns in person or just on the phone in some attempt to come back to “The Bachelor” — is all past tense.
But it’s still interesting to hear that, not only does Ali still have her job at Facebook, she may already have a new boyfriend in San Francisco, too.
“A source close to Ali (close enough to attend one of her ‘Bachelor’ viewing parties), tells us Ali is ‘already dating somebody else here in San Francisco.’ Our source says he’s ‘in the online business,’ and that he was in fact at Ali’s viewing party.”
“Fun side note: Our source says Ali is a ‘nice girl,’ and ‘you could tell she was pretty perturbed by the way she’s been edited by producers of being ‘catty’ and ‘bitchy.'”
I never thought Ali was bitchy. Just whiny after that obnoxious display of “I don’t knooooooow!” tears.
“As for those rumors that Ali isn’t done with reality TV? Our source doesn’t know for sure, but says, ‘word is that she’s not the next Bachelorette.'”
Well, if she already has a boyfriend you’d think she wouldn’t need to be “The Bachelorette,” although that’s never stopped anyone in the past.
I hope she’s happy.
- ABC issues press release on ‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love — The Women Tell All’
- Gia Allemand, Vienna Girardi and Tenley Molzahn add ‘expert commentary’ on ‘Bachelor’ episodes
- Bad idea! Ali Fedotowsky wants to be ‘The Bachelorette’: ‘That would be so great’
- Tenley vs. Vienna: Who wins ‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love’?
- ‘Bachelor’ recap: Jake Pavelka does not take back ‘heartbroken’ Ali Fedotowsky; Jake loves Vienna, Tenley and Gia, but sends Gia Allemand home
- Restaurant owner says he’s been ‘The Bachelor’ model Gia Allemand’s boyfriend for two years
- ‘Bachelor’ video clip: Ali Fedotowsky tells Jake Pavelka ‘I made the wrong choice and I want to come back’
- Jake Pavelka: Ali Fedotowsky ‘was going to get a rose’ before leaving ‘The Bachelor’ for Facebook
- ‘Bachelor’ Jake Pavelka dances with ‘vulnerable’ Vienna-type Rachel Uchitel? Resist, Jake!
- ‘Bachelor’ defense: Tenley Molzahn didn’t love ex-husband Ryan Natividad, says his fiancee Christina Latham
- ‘Bachelor’ final 3 preview: Ali Fedotowsky is ‘determined, departed bachelorette’ who wants Jake Pavelka back?
- ‘Bachelor’ recap: Whiny Ali Fedotowsky dumps Jake Pavelka for Facebook after hometown dates
- Gia Allemand (really Gina) regrets implants, Tenley Molzahn’s ex is engaged and other Bachelor details
- US Weekly: Vienna Girardi cheated on ex-husband Josh Riley and used his money for boob job
By Gina Carbone
There’s no crying in “Survivor.” There’s also no forced cuddling or bad puzzle-making.
One, maybe you get a pass.
Two, you seriously get on my boy Colby’s nerves.
Three? You’re out.
Sugar, you’re out. Auf wiedersehen. Go clean up your space.
The premiere of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” has just come and gone.
True to the first episode’s title, “Slay Everyone, Trust No One,” my initial thoughts went to The Dragon Slayer, Coach Benjamin Wade.
Not only did Coach somehow manage to take out the still dreamy Colby Donaldson during a kind of rugby challenge — leaving the still hateable Tyson Apostol to say Colby should just give up his manhood and become a woman — he is running a flirty charm campaign on two fronts: With Jerri “Black Widow” Manthey and Rob “Boston Rob” Mariano.
He seems to be genuinely crushing on both.
Jerri’s fellow female villains are trying to make a cupid match between The Black Widow and The Dragon Slayer, but I’m rooting for more egregious sucking up as Coach repeatedly tells Boston Rob he’s “hanging on every word” Rob says.
*I sense a Valentine’s love match! Look out, Amber!*
Meanwhile a clearly envious Evil Russell Hantz silently seethes, still a patient spider waiting for the right moment to strike.
The Heroes tribe won reward — thanks in part to good football maneuvers by uber-threat J.T. Thomas and a topless run by Jessica “Sugar” Kiper.
They got fire as part of their reward, which didn’t mean too much when Boston Rob made fire from the sheer magical bounty of his awesomeness.
(Even Rob thinks his tribe would be smart to get rid of him first … but he doesn’t think they are that smart. Then again, judging by the previews for next week, Rob may take himself out of the game with a classic medical illness. There were already two injuries on night one — Rupert’s broken toe and … was it Stephenie’s shoulder? I still don’t know Stephenie.)
However, during the immunity challenge, the Heroes managed to blow a major lead from kayaking out to a torch when Cirie Fields, Sugar, Rupert Boneham and Amanda Kimmel couldn’t get it together to figure out a puzzle.
Meanwhile Boston Rob, Sandra Diaz-Twine and Randy Bailey owned their puzzle. (Are the villains smarter or just more able to work together this one time? It won’t last.)
On cue, Sugar started crying and — bless him — Jeff Probst called her on it.
Colby already wanted to dump Sugar (who competed during the Gabon season) because, as she told the camera, she’s used to having some kind of “protector” and wanted to snuggle up to him at night. And she talked too much at night when everyone wanted to sleep.
(Is Colby … not into women, or just some women? I only ask because he famously turned down Jerri, has no interest in Sugar and I’ve never heard about him linked to anyone, except that his Who’s Dated Who page says he was dating Vanna White in 2002 (?). Meanwhile, I’ve read gossip that JT has been linked to both Sugar and Parvati Shallow. I do not want to believe either.)
Tom wants to get rid of Cirie, because she’s a very strategic player and has played this game three times.
Cirie wants to keep Sugar around precisely because she is so annoying. She’s no threat. Cirie wants to ditch Stephenie LaGrossa. (Who?)
Amanda was debating between Sugar and Stephenie. “Cirie and I are here for blood,” Amanda said.”We are here to win this thing.”
Amanda has made it to the end twice? I am nowhere near a “Survivor” expert. She’s an unfamiliar face to me.
During the first tribal council, the Heroes went from 10 to nine by eliminating Sugar.
First vote: Sugar
(That was enough, but it was a 9-1 vote.)
Predictions? Even before “Survivor: Samoa” started I picked Russell Hantz as my favorite. He turned out to be evil.
This time, I am going to put my money behind … Jerri? Sure, why not. She’s manipulative without being too much of a threat. No one besides Colby is likely to have her on their radar. Coach has her back.
But I want Colby to win. He is such a gentleman. Still in love.
**Here are the remaining competitors**
Rupert Boneham (Pearl Islands, All-Stars)
James Clement (China, Fans vs. Favorites)
Colby Donaldson (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Cirie Fields (Panama, Fans vs. Favorites)
Amanda Kimmel (China, Fans vs. Favorites)
Stephenie LaGrossa (Palau, Guatemala)
JT Thomas (Tocantins)
Tom Westman (Palau)
Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands)
Tyson Apostol (Tocantins)
Randy Bailey (Gabon)
Sandra Diaz (Pearl Islands)
Danielle DiLorenzo (Panama)
Russell Hantz (Samoa)
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback)
Boston Rob Mariano (Marquesas, All-Stars)
Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Fans vs. Favorites)
Benjamin “Coach” Wade (Tocantins)
Courtney Yates (China)
- Survivor Samoa recap: The auction! The chickens! The blindside!
- ‘Survivor: Samoa’ recap: The Day of Reckoning
- ‘Survivor: Samoa’ recap: Russell does it again
- Unsolicited advice for Shambo on ‘Survivor: Samoa’
- Tribe leader pulled from Survivor: Samoa in ’scariest moment’
- ‘Princess’ Yasmin Giles is first Galu to go home on Survivor: Samoa
- Survivor Samoa recap: Yes! Jaison is my hero and Ben is gone
- Survivor Samoa: Ben kicked out, Mike leaves for health reasons
- N.H. cop voted off ‘Survivor: Samoa’ over ignorant outlaw
- Survivor Samoa recap: Yasmin vs. Ben (there is no winner)
- Survivor Samoa recap: Is Russell Hantz the devil?
- A guide to surviving ‘Survivor’
- N.H. police officer among ‘Survivor’ contestants
- ‘Survivor Samoa’ cast: Already rooting for toothless Texan
By Gina Carbone
Watch a sneak peek of Ali Fedotowsky’s phone call in this video.
We see Ali wake up in bed in San Francisco, with Jake Pavelka’s cheesy rose photos on her bedside.
(The ABC “Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” cameras just HAPPENED to be in her room! Total coincidence. Looks like a hotel room, though, so why isn’t she just staying at her own place?)
We hear Ali saying she’s been in San Francisco for a few days and even having her job “I’m still heartbroken without Jake.”
She realizes her life is without love and every day when she’s away from Jake her heart breaks a little more.
Ali: “So I’m going to fight for him.”
Meanwhile, Jake Pavelka is talking about how he got to St. Lucia and has opened his heart to the three ladies left (Vienna Girardi, Gia Allemand, Tenley Molzahn and Vienna’s bad reputation.)
But then we see the phone ring in Jake’s room. (The cameras just happened to be there, right?)
Through much editing — which RealitySteve believes is also not a coincidence — we hear Ali make her pitch to return.
Ali: “I’m a mess right now. And uh all I can just say is I know I made the wrong choice and I want to come back.”
Anyway, New York Magazine confirmed that Ali does still have her job at Facebook:
“A Facebook spokesperson confirms that Ali is still employed at the company: ‘We appreciate the personal decision to return to work was deeply difficult, but we’re glad Ali decided to come back.’ According to a source close to the matter, Fedotowsky told her manager about The Bachelor before she left (though, strangely, not her co-workers), and used up her entire vacation allotment for the filming of the show. But her bouncy personality and cute girl-next-door looks carried her farther than she anticipated; her vacation days ran out, and she was forced to return in order to keep her job.”
Meanwhile, RealitySteve insists Ali is not returning to the show and goes to town attacking her “fake phone call to Jake.”