By Gina Carbone
Oh it’s about time the Villains got served. I drink your mudslide. I drink it up!
“Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” had one of those classic mano e mano mud challenges on “That Girl is Like a Virus.”
And it was good.
Not only did the Heroes dominate, they knocked ALL the Villains on their faces.
In the case of James Clement, it wasn’t enough to finish the 8-8 job by knocking down old man Randy Bailey, he also threw his wrestling pad at Randy in the mud.
I can’t stand Parvati Shallow, but she’s right: James is probably on the wrong tribe. (Or was that Courtney Yates who said that? They didn’t show the person speaking, just the voice-over. I don’t like her either.)
Russell Hantz was the first to get thrown in the mud — “easily” — by Tom Westman.
That’s what Russell gets for not only sleeping with Parvati (aka the titular virus girl, a phrase courtesy of Jerri Manthey), hiding the Villains’ machete and threatening to hide Boston Rob’s Red Sox hat, but for daring to insult the Red Sox in favor of the Houston Astros. (Please. In your ugly mud dreams, baby face.)
Parvati got thrown in the mud by paranoid strategizer Candice Woodcock.
Rupert Boneham owned an angry Coach Wade after Coach — “inadvertent or not” — used his arm against Rupert.
Cirie Fields owned Jerri Manthey.
JT Thomas knocked out Tyson Apostol, which felt GREAT.
Amanda Kimmel barely knocked out Danielle DiLorenzo.
I was worried for my boy Colby Donaldson after his Coach debacle in episode one, so it felt PERFECT for him to beat Boston Rob Mariano.
And then James did his damage on Randy. Why the Villains let the biggest Hero take on their oldest man is beyond me. Especially when at that point the wrestling floor was so covered in mud it would take a true champion to stay afloat.
It just took one push for James to end the game.
The heroes got immunity and reward — coffee (that’s all I would need), sugar, rice and mementos from home.
And the Villains went to tribal council for the first time.
Never thought I’d agree with Tyson, but it did seem like the Heroes loaded up on steroids before the challenge.
It was kind of scary how pumped they got about winning each match. Colby and Rupert were especially amusing, but it was hilarious to see Coach’s epic self-congratulation before Jeff Probst finally got through to him that his first match against Rupert didn’t count.
Earlier in the episode, Boston Rob gave a classic “Survivor” tip: If you want to know the real alliances, watch who people sleep next to at night.
That’d be Coach next to Jerri and Russell (married) spooning with Parvati.
Parvati apparently flirts and smiles with everyone. People think she’s the queen waiting to be fed grapes.
But then during tribal council, Coach — who has the sensitivity of a 12-year-old girl — got insulted by a casual comment by Sandra Diaz, who wasn’t even in the challenge. (She and Courtney Yates sat it out.)
It’s interesting that right after it was mentioned at tribal that the machete grew legs and walked off, Russell (who stole and buried it at night) got a chance to compliment his tribe in comparison to the “dodos” he played with on “Samoa.” The Villains actually seemed flattered. Courtney even “awww”-ed a bit.
The vote came down to Randy vs. Rob.
Jeff Probst: Third person voted out of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”: Randy.
It sucks to get old, man!
Parvati’s name was never written down once. Apparently her spooning paid off. Randy, remember that if you ever come back.
These are the people who are still around:
Rupert Boneham (Pearl Islands, All-Stars)
James Clement (China, Fans vs. Favorites)
Colby Donaldson (Australian Outback, All-Stars)
Cirie Fields (Panama, Fans vs. Favorites)
Amanda Kimmel (China, Fans vs. Favorites)
JT Thomas (Tocantins)
Tom Westman (Palau)
Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands)
Tyson Apostol (Tocantins)
Sandra Diaz (Pearl Islands)
Danielle DiLorenzo (Panama)
Russell Hantz (Samoa)
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback)
Boston Rob Mariano (Marquesas, All-Stars)
Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Fans vs. Favorites)
Benjamin “Coach” Wade (Tocantins)
Courtney Yates (China)