Should've picked a brunette, man. Always pick the brunette.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Yes! Another week, another US Weekly cover ripping Jake Pavelka a new one for picking a crop of sour lemons on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”

The most sour lemon on the tree? Obvious. Vienna Girardi.

This latest cover, “Jake’s Mistake: As Vienna lies to Jake about a boyfriend back home, Ali gets her sweet revenge” has underneath it, in caps, “THE BETRAYAL TV DIDN’T SHOW!”

Is that Chris Harrison betraying Rozlyn Papa?

Not likely, and though I’m glad Rozlyn will be back for this coming Monday’s “The Women Tell All,” I don’t expect she will be given a fair edit.

No, this latest “betrayal” is clearly about Vienna Girardi, aka Satan Herself.

(Ali’s revenge is likely that she will be picking from 25 guys when she’s the new “Bachelorette.” Pick 25 guys like Reid Rosenthal. PLEASE! Or just stick with the guy you are supposedly already dating.)

Funny how Tenley Molzahn isn’t even on the cover of the magazine. Is she “too boring” for Jake? That’s literally one of US’s questions at the bottom of the story. Ouch.

I have a few questions of my own, after the online story about how Vienna is supposedly still obsessed with her ex-boyfriend.

To quote the US Weekly story:

“When he gives out the final rose on The Bachelor’s March 1 finale, Jake Pavelka must choose between two women. But one of those women, Vienna Girardi, has a second guy on her mind: Lee Smith, her ex-boyfriend from back home in Florida.”

Vienna and a hunk Starcasm doesn't officially name but says at one point "(Let’s call him “Lee”)"

Now, that stopped me, because Starcasm already did a story on Vienna’s ex-husband, Joshua William Riley (or Josh Riley), and added some gossip about another guy Vienna was reportedly dating on and off for three years — including while on “The Bachelor.”

(Which sounds like the same situation Gia is/was in with this guy.)

Not only that, an “anonymous source” gave Starcasm a bunch of photos of Vienna with the guy.

To quote the story:

“The source claims the hunk in the photos is from Vienna’s hometown of Sanford, Florida and that Vienna told her beau ‘she was going to the bachelor so she can be on TV and to wait for her.’ The source also claims that Vienna and he were together the night before she left to be on The Bachelor!”

Not sure if this “hunk in the photos” is the same Lee Smith in the new US Weekly, but Starcasm did an update calling the man “Lee” and it certainly looks that way.

(But Starcasm did note they didn’t know when the photos were taken, so these could all be from years ago when it’s completely irrelevant to “The Bachelor.” Never underestimate a bitter ex. Just putting that thought out there.)

I suspect one of these blurred-out people as being "sources" of information and photos in the Vienna/Lee story.

A source (the same one that Starcasm spoke with?) told US Weekly in its new issue that Vienna “wants to get back together with him,” meaning Lee.

“Indeed, multiple Girardi insiders confirm to Us that Girardi, 23, remains head over heels for Smith — to perhaps unhealthy extremes,” US reported.

It gets a bit white trash from here.

“When The Bachelor on the Wings of Love wrapped production in November, Girardi rushed home to reunite with Smith at his Florida apartment,” the story continued. “To her surprise, Smith had already taken up with a new woman, local waitress Cassie Heaberlin.”

(This Cassie Heaberlin of Oviedo, Fla.?)

Who would have this kind of photo on their camera, besides Lee ... and the person whose face is blurred out to the left.

Vienna allegedly went into the bedroom and physically threatened he couple.

Smith and Heaberlin “woke up to see Vienna standing at the foot of the bed holding a wine bottle, like she was going to hit them with it,” another source claimed.

“She was just on (‘The Bachelor’) to be famous,” a source explains. “She never thought she’d make it so far.”

According to the story — which never seems to quote Smith, the girlfriend, Vienna, or anyone by name — it was Smith who hooked Vienna up with a Bachelor casting director.

Vienna told Lee she’d be back for him,” someone said.

So, are we meant to understand Vienna wants this Lee back but Lee is now into this Cassie girl?

Wouldn’t that push Vienna further into Jake’s arms? He could play the protector again! He LOVES that role. And he can forgive Vienna anything, so maybe this isn’t a big deal at all.

Poor Tenley. She’s not boring. She’s just too classy for this mess.

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