You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Dexter’ category.

If he's still into tall brunettes, I may have a shot. That's what I'm going with, anyway, and I don't want to hear otherwise.

This is it. This is my shot. Fingers crossed, I’m on the short list to be Michael C. Hall’s Wife #3.

Here's Michael (does he ever go by Mike?) and Amy.

I’ve loved him since he played uber-hot David Fisher on “Six Feet Under.” And by “uber-hot” I mean “adorably repressed gay undertaker.”

He was married to stage actress Amy Spanger from 2002 – 2006.

I felt betrayed when he married Wife #2, Jennifer Carpenter, because she’s a fellow tall brunette, but a younger and thinner one. SLAP!

(He’s 39. I’m 34. She just turned 31 on December 7. Happy birthday, eh?)

But now that she’s exiting stage left I can finally admit I think she’s amazing on “Dexter.” She probably deserves an Emmy for the underrated and underappreciated Debra Morgan.

They were married on Dec. 31, 2008 and new reports are saying they’ve been separated for a while.

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He's so put-upon. Why do I love when they're put-upon?

To quote Access Hollywood’s report about the split:

A source tells Access that, according to a person very close to the production, the real life husband and wife, who play brother and sister Dexter & Deborah Morgan on the hit Showtime show, haven’t been getting along on set all season and that it’s widely known an official separation announcement is imminent.

In fact, Access’ source was told that Carpenter was going around the set talking about the couple’s problems during the course of the show’s production.

Additionally, our source was informed that Hall, Carpenter and the rest of the show’s cast are very worried about how the two of them are going to work as closely together on set next season as they’re usually required to do.

“Dexter” held its fifth season finale party in New York Sunday night –Carpenter was present, but Hall was not.

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TMZ says she’s the one filing for divorce. She seemed very supportive as he battled Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but maybe he’s too focused on his work? Or … is he … uh … not that into women? Or is he too into women and cheating? Did he and “Dexter” co-star Julia Stiles get too close? He does seem to fall for his co-stars.

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Ted Casablanca of E! has a blind vice about Michael C. Hall and I wonder if it has anything to do with his marriage issues.

Dear Ted:
Hope you enjoyed your vacation. So glad to have you back and bitchy as ever! My question is about Michael C. Hall, the fabulous Dexter. He seems very clean, but has he ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Dex the Halls:
Yes. Should we have put him in our Blind Vice Gallery?

Dear Ted:
So Michael C. Hall has secrets? Not too surprising, but I’m so curious to know what they are! Maybe we will see a Blind Vice in the future? Pretty please?
—Stewart

Dear Backward:
Future? Hon-pie, he’s already been one.

Dear Ted
I’ve started to get into Dexter recently (great show!) and I have completely fallen for Michael C. Hall! There is just something about him that I find so sexy! My question is does he have any Vicey habits? What about he and his wife? Are they a normal couple like they seem?
—Andie

Dear Killer Instinct:
Yep, Michael has been a BV. But when his TV alter ego’s Vice is, uh, being a serial killer does any naughty habits he’s up to between takes even compare?

*

So what is that about? Which Vice is he? Do I care? I guess I do. Not like I have a huge shot at being Wife #3. But for some reason it matters when a celeb is married or not.

Besides, whatever bad Blind Vice he has may be made up for by this revealed good Blind Item. Heart!

Anyway, why do you think the divorce news came out EXACTLY ONE DAY after the “Dexter” season 5 finale? How long have they been apart, waiting so the breakup news didn’t trump the dramatic finale to a show where MCH is an executive producer?

How did Pete turn out to be the hero of "Mad Men" season 4? He doesn't even have his name on the door. But he does wear the cutest pajamas.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

As the light fades, so does my energy. And my patience.

I still watch all of the shows I usually watch — plus a few more, now that I’m writing about “Castle” and “The Vampire Diaries” for Wetpaint, on top of “The Bachelor,” “Bachelorette” and “Dancing with the Stars” — but some of these things sap my strength.

So here are capsule recaps/performance reviews for most of the current shows I watch, with notes on whether I will actually keep watching them once it gets dark around 4 p.m. and I start to think I’d be better off sleeping for 16 out of 24 hours.

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MAD MEN (Click title links to be directed to my archive of recaps/other stories)

Season 4 status: Awesome. Epic. Best season ever. But see below…

Recent episode, “Chinese Wall” status: Frustrating. It’s hard for me to accept season 4 as Don Draper hitting rock bottom and finding himself when EVERY SINGLE WOMAN HE MEETS HITS ON HIM. Even Megan. Megan who said she wants to do what Don and Miss Olson do. Megan who has ambitions. I loved hearing that about Megan but, of course, it had to be followed with her speaking to Don like a scene from a cheesy Harlequin romance novel. He’s in her head all day, at work and at home… Then he kisses her in the office? So that’s Allison, Faye and now Megan, on top of the women outside the office, like Bethany the Betty clone and the prostitute who slapped him because that’s what he wants (and deserves). Look, Don is an attractive, powerful man and maybe he smells like the Old Spice Guy, but this is a bit much. We’re supposed to sympathize with this guy going through a crisis and his “crisis” involves hot young things hitting on him constantly. Stop it.

By the way, tonight’s episode, “Blowing Smoke,” was directed by John Slattery, aka Roger Sterling. We finally found something for Roger to do!

DEXTER

Season 5 status: Boring

We’re only two episodes into the new season. I accepted that the first episode was slow. But the second one was slow too. Glacial. There’s a happy medium between the slow pace of “Dexter” season 5 and the frenetic pace of “True Blood” season 3. (It’s called “Mad Men” season 4.) Pick up the pace before I fall asleep by 9:30 p.m. every Sunday night.

Update: Oct. 10 episode picked up the pace big-time. We’re back on track with an actual stalking/murder. For once this is a good thing!

Kelly Macdonald seems to have accent issues on "Boardwalk Empire." I know she's Scottish, but she sounded one way in the pilot and then had a heavy Irish accent after that. Now it goes in and out. Still love her, though.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE

Season 1 status: On notice

I want to like “Boardwalk Empire” but I’m having trouble getting into it. Part of this is due to the too-perfect set. That does not look like a boardwalk anyone actually walks on. Those shops look like they’re freshly painted every week. The windows are pristine. Was it really like that? Maybe it was. Then there’s the dialogue. Even before the first episode aired there was a preview where Michael Shannon’s (WORSHIP) agent Van Alden says of Nucky Thompson (Steve Buscemi) “he’s corrupt as the day is long.” The second I heard that, I deflated. Really? With all the millions they are spending on the set they can’t do better than a trite line like that? I was hoping they would never actually air that line, but they did last week. Nothing about the rest of the dialogue has shown they are planning to do anything but navigate through more cliches. I’ll give it a few more chances, but I don’t owe it anything. If it can’t show me something new I’m going to leave Atlantic City for good.

Update: Oct. 10 episode was my favorite so far. Plenty of action and interesting character development. Give Chalky more good speeches.

Why is Sash already this thin after four episodes? He's going to disappear before the end.

SURVIVOR: NICARAGUA

Season 21 status: Meh

Everything old is new again with “Nicaragua.” Maybe I’ve been spoiled from The Russell Show, but I’m not feeling too strongly about any of this season’s contestants. Even NaOnka Mixon is such an obvious villain I’m not upset with her as much as CBS for so gleefully casting someone they had to know was just going to self-destruct and ruin her own reputation. She’s just plain unstable. It’s old vs. young and I do like Jane of the old tribe, but not so much that I’m compelled to root hard for her. I’m just sort of biding time to see which boot list is correct. On the way I’ll stare at Chase and Jud/Fabio, but I’m really just waiting for Russell vs. Rob.

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Cycle 15 status: Too obvious

Just give the Vogue Italia cover to Ann Ward already. She just won her fourth challenge in a row — the first time in “Top Model” history for that particular feat, Tyra says — and if she somehow DOESN’T win, whoever does win is going to have to feel like a usurper. Ann was the star of the cycle before the first episode aired. She was thrust into the controversy spotlight for being 6’2″ and having the world’s tiniest waistline. (Or something. Has anyone really gone around measuring all the grown women in the world?) My girl Kayla is still in play, but we lost my previous favorite Rhianna and the challenges just keep getting more and more ridiculous. A conveyor belt in heels? Do you hate the contestants that much? This show has no connection to reality anymore. It’s a parody of itself. So why do I keep watching?

DANCING WITH THE STARS

Season 11 status update: Borderline rigged

People need to stop trying to convince me that this isn’t already an open-and-shut case. Even if Jennifer Grey weren’t the best of the crop so far, she has a RABID fan base dying to give her the mirror-ball trophy. Seriously, if you go to Wetpaint’s Dancing with the Stars Facebook page, people adore her. She is going to get the votes no matter what she does. Which means Derek Hough will be the first pro to win three mirror-balls. He also won last season with Nicole Scherzinger and won season 7 with co-host Brooke Burke, who favors Derek too. Derek runs the place. Meanwhile, Maks is mouthy. He needs to stop making everyone adjust to his attitude/the way he was taught and actually adjust himself a drop for the people around him. Just a drop.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Season 36 status: Disappointing

The premiere was all about the old school and since then each episode has given little glimpses of the new cast members. Meanwhile, the guest stars are not being served well by the material. To put it mildly. I thought Bryan Cranston was pretty much wasted last week but that was before I saw them completely waste Jane Lynch. She deserved the Betty White treatment and instead she didn’t even get a bottle of sparkling apple juice moment. What gives? She’s definitely funny and game to do whatever — same as Bryan Cranston — but they give her such weak sketches. Last season SNL had some good stuff for Jon Hamm, Taylor Swift and even Blake Lively. This season they seem more focused on the cast members, especially Kristen Wiig injecting herself into everything. Why?

Seth Caro does kind of have a Michael C. Hall/"Dexter" thing going on.

TOP CHEF: JUST DESSERTS

Season 1 status: Sweet and sassy — love it!

Am I going straight to hell if I miss Seth Caro? I thought he was hot from day one and his inherent bitchiness just made him more intriguing. Until it didn’t. As in, I think he may have a serious but treatable mental illness. I want him to seek treatment and then return. Because, man, is he interesting.

I had the crazy idea that a show about sugar and spice and everything nice would be, you know, sweet. Nothing could be further from the truth. Meltdowns like crazy, and not just from Seth. Malika just quit and her face when she announced she was leaving showed such joy and relief. Maybe it makes sense. Baking is harder than cooking. If you’re a chef you can experiment more than a baker. The slightest thing can ruin a pastry. Love watching it all play out.

Sidenote: Stop teasing me with the idea of Hubert Keller as a permanent judge when he’s not even there every week. I need more face time with my beloved French Gandalf!

PROJECT RUNWAY

Season 8 status: Love the drama, not the clothes

Mondo Guerra is going to win, despite me not really getting most of his clothes. To me, he is the naked emperor. But as a person, he is fascinating. Quirky, funny, cute, and alternately vulnerable and arrogant. He laid his soul on a slab last week by announcing his HIV positive status. But this week he showed himself to be above-it-all with his rudeness to Heidi Klum, aka a judge and producer on the show and this week’s client. The editing of the previews has been very “Bachelor” manipulation, which is a shame since the natural drama speaks for itself. Ivy Higa needs to go on “Survivor” with NaOnka Mixon. Gretchen Jones should spar with Seth Caro on “Top Chef.” So many crazy reality TV personalities to deal with. But on “Runway” they are more bitchy than mentally unstable. I prefer that. I’m fine with disliking people’s behavior on TV. I’m not fine with potentially unstable people being exploited for ratings.

Dexter and Daddy pose in a shot of muted colors — fitting with the slow pace of the season premiere.

My favorite part has to be the subtle “Six Feet Under” homage:

Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) walks into a funeral parlor, marveling at how the funeral director can so smoothly say “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Dexter: “How does he do that? He sounds like he actually means it.”

Oh David Fisher. I still miss you.

The “Dexter” season 5 premiere, “My Bad,” just aired on Showtime. (I almost wrote “HBO,” just like John Lithgow!) It’s quiet and somber and, like most good funerals, ends with a death. I’m looking forward to more action and suspense, but I’m fine if both Dexter and “Dexter” take it slow. For now.

Season 5 picks up right where season 4 leaves off. Rita is in the tub. Dexter is on the front lawn telling his sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) and a bunch of cops, “It was me.”

It’s just the kind of frustratingly vague thing Dexter loves to say to (sometimes inadvertently) mess with people. It’s amazing how much leeway everyone gives him.

Anyway, it’s good to see Julie Benz again as Rita. We see her — sweet, innocent Rita — in a flashback on her first date with Dexter. She’s eager to talk to him about his work or anything else. But not only does he keep her waiting, sitting there alone at the restaurant for so long, he spends the date looking at a mark sitting behind her, and leaves when the guy walks out. Then lies to Rita, saying he had a stomach bug.

Same old Dexter: Rita has always been second — at best — on the list of things to do. And when he finally gets around to dealing with her, it’s with lies.

She did deserve better.

At least she finally learns the truth that he’s a serial killer — when he announces it to her casket. So now dead Rita joins the list of the departed who know Dexter’s secret and baby Harrison remains the only living soul to hear the truth.

But Astor (Christina Robinson) seems to be suspicious of Dexter, in some way. I’m having trouble buying that.

Astor, Cody (Preston Bailey) and the grandparents reacted a little too quickly to the news of Rita’s death and Astor was much too quick to blame Dexter and start crying. It felt false. You don’t go Disneyland happiness to “I blame you” anger in two seconds.

Also on the list of people not sure about Dexter: Joey Quinn (who is now sleeping with Deb; it was only a matter of time).

Quinn (Desmond Harrington) is as overly (spray?) tanned as ever. And he is onto Dexter. Sort of. He’s suspicious. (Then again, doesn’t Dex still have some ammunition to throw back at Quinn — the money that Quinn took from a crime scene?)

Usually Dex can weasel his way out of these things, but even Deb is noticing his odd reaction to the Rita news.

Dex is so blank and lifeless, it’s hard to feel for him. Usually the voice-overs are good about getting us into his head, but for the first half of the episode his mind is blank, too. He’s not sure how to even mimic human emotions.

I was wondering if he would show guilt or grief or anything. He does, in his way, with dead Rita and little Harrison. (I worry for that kid.)

Strangely enough, even with this lack of overt emotion, it’s never been hard to root for Dexter. He goes after bad guys and always narrowly escapes. Because we see things from his point of view, it’s natural to get nervous for him and want him to find his umpteenth way out.

But now that Dexter’s not the secret(ly sadistic) superhero, and an innocent woman is dead because of him, I’m finding it hard to get my bearings with him. I want to shake him into some kind of action. If not fury, then at least fear and panic over how to cover his tracks.

At least by the second half of the premiere he’s doing something — deleting files to erase traces of himself … and then killing.

It’s sick to see Dexter stab someone half a dozen times and think “That’s the first human thing I’ve seen you do since she died, Dexter” but that’s exactly the response. The ghost of Dexter’s father, Harry, says the words, but the violent physical response unleashes a torrent of emotions — primal screaming as he’s covered in blood, like when he was as a baby at the crime scene that birthed his Dark Passenger — and it’s actually good to see the torment after so much emptiness.

So it looks, from the extended previews, like season 5 is going to be Dexter vs. Quinn. I hope this ends with both of them alive, since I do like them both. Or, I find them both interesting.

Also interesting: Debra Morgan.

Deb takes a lot of heat for her mouth and her emotional outbursts, but Jennifer Carpenter doesn’t get half as much credit as she deserves. Her Deb is the yin to Dexter’s yang. And if her husband is going to get kudos for his subtlety, she shouldn’t be penalized for her character’s natural volatility. I have a feeling Deb is going to be the heart of this season, whether she wants that or not.

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Catch up on my “Dexter” archive here.

Here's the "Amazing Race" 17 cast. My friend Trinh Luu wants to do this show with one of her sisters. So if you see them on CBS someday, show some love!

It’s Sunday, September 26, which means all of this stuff will be on TV tonight:

7:00 – ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ (ABC) 21st season premiere
7:30 – ’60 Minutes’ (CBS) 43rd season premiere
8:00 – ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ (ABC) 8th season premiere
8:00 – ‘Nature’ (PBS) 28th season premiere
8:00 – ‘The Simpsons’ (Fox) 22nd season premiere
8:30 – ‘The Amazing Race’ (CBS) 17th season premiere
8:30 – ‘The Cleveland Show’ (Fox) 2nd season premiere
9:00 – ‘All American Handyman’ (HGTV) 1st season finale
9:00 – ‘Desperate Housewives’ (ABC) 7th season premiere
9:00 – ‘Dexter’ (Showtime) 5th season premiere
9:00 – ‘Family Guy’ (Fox) 8th season premiere
9:00 – ‘I Survived…’ (Biography) 5th season finale
10:00 – ‘Bored to Death’ (HBO) 2nd season premiere
10:00 – ‘Brothers & Sisters’ (ABC) 5th season premiere
10:00 – ‘Delocated!’ (Cartoon Network) 2nd season finale
10:00 – ‘Sister Wives’ (TLC) series premiere
10:00 – ‘Undercover Boss’ (CBS) 2nd season premiere
10:30 – ‘Childrens Hospital’ (Cartoon Network) 2nd season finale
10:30 – ‘Eastbound & Down’ (HBO) 2nd season premiere

Now what?

And that’s on top of “Boardwalk Empire” on HBO and the #1 best show on TV, “Mad Men,” on AMC.

I have to watch “Dexter” because I’m dying to know how Dexter handles life with Rita’s kids and Harrison. Is he going to feel guilty or will he have to fake guilt and grief? If he genuinely feels even numb after her death, doesn’t that prove he’s human like everyone else?

By the way, Michael C. Hall is #1 on my list of perfect men. I don’t have a full list going, but I’m working on it. I should be fair and include a list of perfect women, too. Emma Thompson will be high on that list.

Check out my Five questions after the ‘Dexter’ season four finale, written right after The Rita Incident, watch this trailer for “Dexter” Season 5 and get pumped for tonight!

Then return to my “Dexter” archive, at some point, for my thoughts on the season 5 premiere.

He'll never love us back.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

It’s the first day of spring and neither “Mad Men” nor “True Blood” is actually in season, so to speak.

There was a time when that would’ve stopped you from catching up. Not anymore.

In this lovely age of DVD and On Demand you can rent almost any show at any time, whether it has been off the air for years or not returning for several months. And sometimes at your local library FOR FREE!

Imagine that.

So you have no excuse but to catch up on these 15 shows, which are my current faves.

I’m only including series that are still running — so no “Northern Exposure,” “Six Feet Under” and “Father Ted,” which are my three favorite shows of all time.

Warning: I do love reality TV, including the heavy cheese, as #3 here will attest.

***

What Up With That?

15.”Saturday Night Live”

It’s not always good. It’s never consistent. This is far from the best season. And yet there are plenty of reasons to stay up for SNL every week, even now. There’s Jason Sudeikis in every skit, but especially dancing in his red track suit on Kenan Thompson’s “What Up With That?” BET show. If you watched Taylor Swift’s monologue, Jon Hamm’s “Sergio!” skit or any of Andy Samberg’s Digital Shorts, you were prepared for the Sunday Internet watercooler chatter. If you missed them, you missed out. And I defy you to find a more perfect thing to watch at 1 a.m. than this potato chip skit with Blake Lively.

14. “The Tudors”

This show ticks me off almost as much as it excites me. I’m still frustrated about the casting of beautiful Joss Stone as the “unattractive” Anne of Cleves. But there are just too many things that I love about it. (Starting with Henry Cavill.) I have always been a Tudor-phile and this is a rich, colorful, sexy, vibrant world to dive into. It’s a history lesson CW-style, but with Showtime sex and violence. We’re getting to the end years for Henry VIII (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and the fourth and final season starts April 11. I can’t wait to see this world come alive again. Long live the king.

13. “Project Runway”

My friend Trinh still finds it hard to believe I like “Project Runway,” since my fashion sense consists of wearing the same Walmart clothes I’ve had for 5-10 years — and Payless shoes. But I love the challenges on “Runway” — take a potato sack and make an evening gown. Go to the supermarket and use corn husks to make a cocktail dress. Use newspapers to make pants. It’s not just clothes, it’s art. I’m addicted to seeing creativity in action and that’s the show. I can’t even sew a button onto a jacket correctly (as my jackets know too well) but I find myself imagining how I would approach the challenges. It gets me thinking about color and fabrics and art supplies differently. It sounds girlie and I’m not usually girlie (then again, I love “The Bachelor” and “Project Runway”) but it’s fun.

She'll cut a bitch. Don't you forget it.

12. “Damages”

Season one was genius. Glenn Close scares the crap out of me and Tate Donovan plays wounded puppy so well. And Ted Danson! His best role in years. It’s not easy to make a corrupt CEO lovable, but he found the right balance of egomania and infectious optimism. Season two was disappointing, but it did manage to find a key role for Timothy Olyphant and for that I will be forever grateful. So far season three is amazing. I was worried it would be too gimmicky with its ripped-from-the-headlines Madoff plot, but it’s working. Very, very well. Props to Campbell Scott and especially Martin Short for playing so far against type. Keep it coming.

11. “Big Love”

I’m worried about “Big Love.” This was one of my favorite shows, but season four was all over the place. Too many plot threads, too many characters. And a Monty Python moment with a severed arm. I still have high hopes for this series and I have invested too much time and energy to give up on it, but GET IT TOGETHER. Please.

10. “Parks and Recreation”

Leslie and Ron make me smile.

Somewhere along the way, this show got as good as “The Office.” Then, for me, it got better. Mostly because I am not a fan of Jim and Pam and they dominate everything. So done with their smugness. “Parks,” on the other hand, is consistently warm, funny and uncluttered with self-congratulatory shmaltz. Special props to Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson. You will always be my Woman of the Year, man.

9. “House”

I get frustrated with everyone walking around psychoanalyzing everyone else’s reactions, but I’m a loyal Hilson (House + Wilson) fan and I love watching their bromantic banter. Now that we’re past the extended torture of House hiring his new team, and the old team is back in action, I am happy with “House” again. And the medical mysteries are still good after all this time. My friend Lisa has sarcoidosis and we like to see it make cameo appearances — alongside lupus — during the differential diagnosis. I know Wilson’s first wife is coming back into the picture and I am looking forward to House getting jealous, but please don’t break up my favorite couple for long.

8. “30 Rock”

I keep waiting for this show to run out of steam and stop being so sharply funny and on point. Guess I should grab a snack for that wait. Alec Baldwin is still the funniest person on television but the entire cast is right there with him. I laugh out loud — guffaw, really — at least twice an episode and I’ll never turn down a good belly laugh.

7. “Dexter”

Talk about season finales. Every Other Show, please take note: The way “Dexter” ended season four? That’s how it’s done. I can’t wait to see what happens next and that’s the sign of a good show. I get dizzy watching Michael C. Hall (forever part of my “Six Feet Under”

Rita! Dex! Sobs!

family) run all over the place lying to everyone, but the show always manages to figure out how to balance everything without drowning the important stuff in superfluous plot threads. There was always one overarching storyline tying everything together. That’s smart. Keep doing that and tell “Big Love” about it.

6. “Survivor”

I just get caught up in the drama. Every time. I want to scream at the castaways. Tear my hair out. Vote them out myself. And that’s just for Russell Hantz. Whenever you think you can see exactly where things are going, they take another turn. “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” is one of my favorite seasons of all time. And it’s the 20th one they’ve done. That’s a good sign for the future … or a good place to stop. But look at the characters they’ve given us, just in this season alone: Evil Russell, Boston Rob, Coach, Colby, JT, Rupert. All brand names, thanks to the show. And that’s without even mentioning Captain Dimples himself, Jeff Probst. The single best host on TV. I mean it!

The Man!

5. “Lost”

I’m not one of those Losties who memorizes every little detail and keeps flow charts to catalogue the connections. I’m here for the human element. And the No. 1 human element on this island was, is, and shall always be Terry O’Quinn as John Locke (with or without Smokey). I have never — and I mean never — seen stronger acting from anyone on television than this man as this character in the six seasons of this show. O’Quinn has created an icon and he will be missed when this ends. Michael Emerson, you get the silver medal and on any other show you would be gold. That’s saying something, especially since “Lost” is known mostly for its trippy sci-fi plot, not the strength of its character acting. Humble actors doing crazy things without getting in our faces about it. Love it.

4. “In Treatment”

I don’t blame Gabriel Byrne for getting tired of sitting in that chair all day. That’s tough acting — just sitting there. (I mean it!) But

Mia Wasikowska was amazing as Sophie the gymnast on "In Treatment." Not so amazing in "Alice in Wonderland."

there is no other show on TV that gets under my skin as much as “In Treatment.” After listening to problems from a divorcing couple, a cancer-stricken college student, a lonely lawyer, an embattled CEO and a troubled teenage gymnast, among others, I turn off the TV and just soak everything in. What do I think is the root of their issues? What would I do? What would I suggest? I’m so glad there will be a third season. This is the most thoughtful and thought-provoking show on television. It hits a nerve and that’s an important part of life.

3. “The Bachelor”/”The Bachelorette”

If this is not your first time glancing at this blog (don’t worry, I’m not really expecting you to hang on every word) you know I am obsessed with the land of Chris Harrison and the most dramatic rose ceremony ever. If you can’t get past the cheese of this beautiful manufactured drama, take a moment and say your goodbyes. I accept this rose. Now and always. Especially for “The Bachelorette.” One woman. 25 guys. Nuff said.

2. “True Blood”

Yes, it’s campy. Yes, it’s soft-core porn. Yes, I’m incredibly grateful for that. Alexander Skarsgard. Ryan Kwanten. Stephen Moyer. Sam Trammell. Nelsan Ellis. Jim Parrack. And a few women. (Kidding. Love ya, Anna Paquin, Carrie Preston, Deborah Ann Woll and

Eric with long hair or short hair? Discuss.

Rutina Wesley.) This is how you tell a vampire story, y’all. Fresh, original, exciting, sexy as HELL YEAH, with the best opening sequence on TV right now. Season one was good. Season two was outstanding, except for the maenad junk. (Eric made up for it. More. Please. Now.) Season three is looking pretty jam-packed and I just hope Alan Ball remembers to stay true to the characters we’ve come to lust over care about. That’d be Eric as No. 1.

1. “Mad Men”

Season three started kind of slow and I was worried the most amazing show on television would slip down my rankings. But it picked up steam and ended with a perfect, caffeinated, plot-heavy episode of “Survivor: Sterling Cooper.” This is a perfect show. So much character development I feel like these people just have to be real. There’s no way Peggy Olson is not an actual person. I expect to find Pete Campbell still wandering around somewhere on the Upper East Side. And the Drapers … well, Don Draper never existed as we know him and Betty Draper is about to become someone else. I cannot wait to see what they do next. Literally. I’m angry that we have to wait for the summer. Jon Hamm has created a screen icon. There is no one else who could bring

Joan c'est magnifique on "Mad Men."

Don Draper to life and somehow make you not hate him. He’s so freaking suave. Women want him. Men want to be him. And I just love to watch the show around him. The best writing. The best ensemble. The absolute hands-down best production design on television. My eyes worship this show.

Dexter Morgan: Single father?

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Holy crap. I actually had a gasp-and-cover-the-mouth moment when I saw little Harrison sitting in blood, just like the blood young Dexter’s Dark Passenger was born from.

All that blood. Rita. Julie Benz.

Rita was a pill this season with all the nagging and whining — really, she should’ve known what she was getting into, even if she didn’t quite understand the scope of it — but she didn’t deserve to die such a cold, gruesome death, right when she and Dexter (Michael C. Hall) were getting back on track.

But now what?

Some lingering questions:

1. Will Dexter be a suspect? I vote no. This is obviously a Trinity (Quad?) Killer murder. What is more likely, to me, is Debra (Jennifer Carpenter) and Quinn (Desmond Harrington) will dig into the investigation of why Trinity (the great John Lithgow) went after Dexter. They’ll find out Trinity’s family knows Dex as Kyle and a whole pack of lies will unravel.

2. Did Trinity tell Rita about Dexter before killing her? I think not. Or maybe I just want to think not since she already had to die, why die hurt and confused as well as terrified and tortured? I wish Rita had lived long enough for her to catch Dexter or find out somehow about his Dark Passenger. I’ve been waiting four seasons for that. This is kind of a cop out in that respect. So now the main issue is…

3. Will Deb find out about Dexter’s Dark Passenger? My theory is, she will understand at least some of what he’s doing and become his new Harry in that she’ll be his protector and moral compass. She’ll try to keep him on the straight and narrow. After all, she made that speech about how he kept her alive and made her the person she is today. They are connected for life and she is nothing if not f–king loyal. Plus, she knows Dex will be left taking care of Harrison, Cody and Astor and she won’t want to put away their only surviving parental unit.

4. Are we done with LaGuerta and Batista’s romance now? I am so sick of this subplot. I never bought them as having some kind of passionate, illicit affair. (What was wrong with the chick in vice?) And they really were arrogant in front of the boss. They swore they were not together anymore, then kept their affair going. When they were called on it, they got a quickie marriage and threw it back in his face as if they had actually proved a point beyond “We’re both about 15 years old.” That poor guy must have better things to do than play hall monitor with them. They’re boring, move on.

5. Are Deb and Quinn going to get together? Quinn had that line a few episodes back, if you put two people in a room together long enough, sooner or later they’re going to f–k. And since his girlfriend went the way of murder-suicide — and Deb is still reeling from being engaged to the Ice Truck Killer (Dexter’s bro, which she just found out) — they are kind of perfect together. But it needs to be done right. At this point if they got together it wouldn’t be as out-of-nowhere as LaGuerta (Lauren Velez) and Batista (David Zayas), but they also shouldn’t be allowed to dominate the season with an on-again-off-again thing. It’s Dexter’s show. Don’t forget that.

***

What are you hoping to see in season 5? Read more of my “Dexter” stories in this handy archive and come back for my thoughts after the Sunday, Sept. 26 season 5 premiere.

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