You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘American Idol’ category.

Congratulations, Kris Allen! I mean, Scotty McCreery! I mean, well, you know what I mean.

Girls can’t win “American Idol” anymore.  It’s almost laughable now.

You don’t have to look like a crushworthy boy band singer and you don’t have to be from the South, but if you have both you are basically a lock to win “Idol.”

Phillip Phillips had both. Scotty McCreery had both. Kris Allen too. Lee DeWyze is from Illinois, but some people though he was cute. David Cook is from Missouri. Taylor Hicks is from Birmingham, Alabama. So is Ruben Studdard. The only girls who have won — Kelly Clarkson (Texas), Fantasia Barrino (North Carolina), Carrie Underwood (Oklahoma) and Jordin Sparks (Arizona) — are all from the lower half of the country. So girls from the north should only apply to “American Idol” for the exposure, not for any chance of winning.

A girl hasn’t won since Jordin on Season 6. I don’t think a girl is going to win anytime soon. Not only do boys win now, the same type of boy tends to win now.  The message to music producers seems to be sinking in, since we now have One Direction and The Wanted bringing back wholesome, blandly handsome boy bands. Makes sense. Sad, but makes sense.

She's in it to win it, dawg!

I may just be desperately trying to justify their existence, but the “American Idol” judges might be pulling a fast one on us.

They like to blame us for getting complacent and not voting for contestants we deem “safe,” so maybe Randy Jackson and Jennifer Lopez trashed Haley Reinhart’s genius decision to sing Lady Gagy’s unreleased “You and I” so that fans got angry on her behalf. It worked!

They positioned her as the underdog instead of the frontrunner. It helps that she also nailed “House of the Rising Son” by the Animals. She also got the last song of the night, which leaves the strongest impact in people’s minds. She definitely won the night.

I think the producers and judges love her and want us to vote for her.

They overpraised Jacob Lusk to such an extent that I have to believe they did it to turn us against him. There’s no other logical reason.

I’m not into James Durbin — and I know there are more ways to sing with emotion than to cry — but his fan base will propel him into the finale.

Scotty McCreery makes me laugh every time I see him. I live in North Carolina now and I shop at Lowe’s all the time, where there are posters celebrating him as a Lowe’s employee. His squinting Mad Magazine face is so cute. But he’s one note and I’ve heard it so I don’t know that I need to keep hearing it.

I love Lauren Alaina’s voice, but she’s a very young teenager. Some people are older than their years, but she is just a sweet kid. She’s too young for this. I don’t think Scotty’s age is as much of an issue as Lauren’s. I can’t imagine her leaving “Idol” and getting thrown into the music industry pit. Someone should protect her.

Still, I like this final four. I think America definitely made the right call this week, despite the judges being useless. We don’t need them … although they can be fun. Steven Tyler defended Haley. He knows.

Haley should win this season, but I don’t know if she will. (And not because she’s a girl. I’m over that tantrum.)

I hope she learns from the fans’ votes this week and IGNORES the judges’ advice to go with familiar songs. She needs to be taking these risks. Now is the time to introduce songs that feel “original” since the goal is to go out and create songs that we’ll hear for the first time on the radio. I hadn’t heard that Lady Gaga song before, but I loved it because Haley slayed it.

I wasn’t a Haley fan at the start of this season because she screamed everything. But she is getting better every single week, while everyone else is either coasting along or getting worse.

Catch up on my few-and-far-between “American Idol” stories in this archive.

I voted for you almost every week, Pia. I tried.

It’s the oldest story in the book. Guys will support other guys, even calling them “the man” sometimes. Girls, on the other hand, tend to look at other girls and immediately try to spot flaws. Anything to make themselves feel better. That’s not support. Support they often reserve for cute guys.

So it’s no shock that Pia Toscano was dumped from “American Idol” Season 10. Young girls have hijacked this show and they haven’t voted a girl as the winner since Jordin Sparks. Jordin was relatable and non-threatening. Just like Kelly Clarkson and Fantasia Barrino. Even Carrie Underwood started the show as a Lauren Alaina-esque farm girl and had a Cinderella transformation.

Girls tend to vote for boys. (Not all girls, obviously, since I’m still one and I know I’m not alone.) Girls voted for the Davids. They voted for Kris and Adam. They even voted for Lee over Crystal, which is still hilarious.

I voted for Pia. I know she’s more beautiful and talented than I am and I don’t give a crap. She can get in line behind everyone else. She’s inspirational and her song last night was kick-ass.

Girls need to support other girls — not just cute boys and girls they feel superior toward. This is not about ego, it’s about giving women a fair shot out there instead of often pushing them down. We’re our own worst enemies.

And don’t try to sell me the line that Pia is “boring.” She doesn’t have the most engaging personality, but neither does cocky JacobNaima had more unique personality than both of them combined, but she left along with Thia, who was one of my early favorites until she started to earn the pageant label I thought Pia got past this week. And just because J.Lo adores Stefano, it doesn’t mean he’s worth keeping around. Pia outsang both Stefano and Jacob and she has “the look” that is so necessary to sell, sell, sell.

She has trouble with wardrobe choices and Gwen Stefani didn’t help, but she looked gorgeous in black as she tearfully exited the stage.

Where’s that save when you REALLY need it? Pia > Casey Abrams, any day.

It doesn’t help that the judges this season are treating the contestants like their own children, adoring everything they do. When everything is special, nothing is special. The judges need to help viewers keep things in perspective — who did best, who did worst, why, what they need to work on, etc. — and right now they are not doing their jobs.

So now the only girls left are Lauren and Haley. Haley won’t make it to the final four, I can tell you that right now. That’s reserved for Scotty, Casey, Lauren (because she’s non-threatening) and probably Paul, because he’s pretty.

Scratch that. It’ll probably be James over Paul. I keep forgetting about James, because he was already on the show in a superior form back on season 8, when we called him Adam Lambert.

Video: Pia Toscano Sings “River Deep, Mountain High” by Tina Turner on April 6

Smells like teen suckage. He really is just Soul Patrol Part II, anyway. Am I alone on that? Can you really picture his voice on the radio, any more than Taylor Hicks?

I’m not even slightly surprised that Casey Abrams was on the bottom. It’s Megan’s fault. Megan, if you recall, is the “friend” in the audience that Casey pointed out on Wednesday’s “American Idol” season 10 top 11 performance show.

Ever since Jennifer Lopez dubbed Casey “sexy,” girls have screamed for him.  They don’t want to think that the cuddly teddy bear is already taken. That takes a shine off fast. It’s like Andrea looking at Matt in a whole new light after he bonded with fellow prayer warrior Krista on “Survivor: Redemption Island”. (See recap below)

Other reasons he was at the bottom: He performed first and sometimes the early singers are forgotten by the end of the night. Also, after he performed he was grossly overpraised. Casual fans probably figured he was safe and they didn’t need to vote for him. People who don’t have clear favorites (like me) probably weren’t so impressed by that performance that they would jump to the phone/web.

I think Casey is cute and funny, but the growl got old for me last week. I like the talent this season, but I don’t have a strong favorite anymore. I’m voting performance-by-performance. Last night I voted for Jacob and Pia. It was the first (and possibly the only) time I voted for Jacob but I’ve voted for Pia several times. I like her.

Anyway, the judges saved Casey. Which means we still have a top 11. And all 11 will go on tour. What a Disney special. Two people go home next week. Such melodrama.

Interesting week. I have a lot of catching up to do, so I’m combing my “American Idol,” “Survivor” and “Top Model” recaps.

***

American Idol Season 10 (stream of consciousness asides)

Is it just me, or was the Marc Anthony opening extremely awkward? Did the “American Idol” top 11 want a thing to do with him? Was he just bored? That whole relationship is weird. Jennifer Lopez and Marc, I mean. But J.Lo and Steven Tyler is coming off as weird to me, too. Steven seems to turn his back to her sometimes and Jennifer openly leans into Randy Jackson. It’s like two against one.

By the way, happy birthday, Steven! He really is the most adorable thing to happen to this show since the Davids of Season 7.

Unnecessary side note: I still have my old, pink “About Me” diary from when I was in grade school where I wrote “Hulk Hogan” as the strongest person I knew. I didn’t quite get that it was supposed to be someone I knew in person.

Is Ryan Seacrest a slightly good actor or did Hulk actually hit him a little bit there? Did those people know they were going to get Julianne Hough-close to Ryan when he crashed into their row?

Stevie Wonder rocks. And I noticed Jennifer had her arm around Steven when Stevie sang for the b-day boy. Is she jealous of his attention? I’ve heard that, but who knows.

Catch up on my “American Idol” stories here.

They deserve the pink undies as punishment for being lazy. (CBS pic)

Survivor: Redemption Island

Who was it that ripped Grant Mattos’s shirt off during the immunity challenge on “Their Red-headed Step Child”? Was that David Murphy or Mike Chiesl? Whoever it was, THANK YOU.

I’ve been praying to the Survivor gods for more shots of hot Grant. And, as we know now, God has a vested interest in the outcome of the show. He’s Team Matt Elrod and Team Ometepe. Matt now has a pink Bible, courtesy of The Other Blonde, Krista Klumpp, but no girl wants to see her crush bonding with another (similar) woman, so Matt may have lost the very important support of Andrea Boehlke — aka the only girl on Ometepe who is not completely useless. (I miss you, Kristina Kell.) Matt has turned out to be more Brett Clouser than Jud “Fabio” Birza and it looks like Krista was briefly Matt’s Natalie White.

Anyway, I’m disappointed in my boy David. He was my pre-season pick to be named fan favorite. But what was that nonsense about defending Stephanie Valencia over Sarita White? Even if he didn’t know Sarita had the support of her loyal allies, didn’t he hear shrill Stephanie’s pro-Russell Hantz screeches earlier in the season? Doesn’t he know that it’s better to enter a merge with fewer numbers as long as they stick together, rather than a large group with some people ready to be bought by the other side? How do you think Russell got to the end on “Samoa”? That Foa Foa Foursome was far from a majority.

I hate to support Boston Rob any more than he’s already been supported, but right now — other than Matt — he’s the only player really making a mark. He even pulled a fast one on my new faux boyfriend (I don’t care that he’s married) Grant, switching out the idol clues last week. Rob is also right when it comes to letting Natalie Tenerelli and Ashley Underwood dig their own finale graves.

However, how pissed is Rob going to be if/when Rob gets booted before the two useless girls? That was Phillip Sheppard’s point and —  I hope these words never pass through my keyboard again — he’s right. I’m growing fond of our resident Coach 2.0. Is it inevitable that Phillip and Coach 1.0 will be brought back together and put on the same tribe?

At this point, I’m in the market for someone to support. I guess it’s Matt for now, but I might be Team Andrea, just to support a girl who feels illogically hurt and betrayed by a guy. Who hasn’t been there?

Catch up on my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers (such as they are) here in this archive.

I am currently Team Brittani, but ask me again next week. From left: Hannah, Molly, Dalya, Jaclyn, Brittani, Alexandria, Monique, Kasia and Mikaela (CW pic)

America’s Next Top Model Cycle 16

Am I nuts or is Alexandria Everett not really THAT annoying?

Maybe I’ve just been watching too much “Survivor” and “Project Runway.” And I haven’t really been watching enough ANTM this cycle to really weigh in, but at this point Alexandria just seems like one of those girls who sounds more abrasive than she means to. She’s my Sharon Stone out there.

But I think I’ve switched allegiances from the machete cheekbones of Mikaela Schipani to the cute bob of Brittani Kline. I also like Monique Weingart and I wonder who she reminds me of. Someone. And as sweet as she may be, I CAN’T STAND Jaclyn Poole’s voice. I can’t get past it. I think Kasia Pilewicz is already overrated. And Hannah Jones. Hannah is not making a dent at all for me.

The just-eliminated Dalya Morrow said it’s going to come down to bad-weave Molly and Brittani in the end. Agree?

Catch up on my ANTM stories in this archive.

You had to know they would straighten Lauren Alaina's hair and give her the full Carrie Underwood makeover treatment.

To me, it’s obvious: The top 12 girls on “American Idol” Season 10 are far superior to the top 12 guys.

I think we should dump most of the guys and only keep:

I had to change the channel when most of these guys sang. It was too painful. So of course Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez adored them. The second J.Lo talks about a performance as "organic" my stomach wants to pull a Casey Abrams.

• Casey Abrams (one of my old high school buddies compared him to a Gorg on “Fraggle Rock” and I’m now fond of that idea)
The hilariously cheesy Scotty McCreery
Paul “Bradley Cooper” McDonald
Brett “Whip My Hair” Loewenstern and
Jacob Lusk — but Jacob only so he can prove he can indeed sing a contemporary song. He has a great voice but I can’t imagine hearing it on any modern radio station.

The girls killed it, with few exceptions.

Naima Adedapo shocked me with such a good version of “Summertime.” Yes, Fantasia owned “Summertime,” but not this version.

I loved Karen Rodriguez’s Spanish/English “Hero.” I really loved Thia Megia’s “Out Here On My Own.” I just voted online for Thia.

I wasn’t too into Lauren Alaina’s “Turn on the Radio” but that was partly because she was half-drowned out by the background singers. She is definitely getting the “American Idol” style makeover. I knew she would. She is part Kelly Clarkson and part Carrie Underwood. She’ll be fine.

Pia Toscano has a lot of buzz right now after “I’ll Stand By You,” but part of me wonders if that standing ovation was for her rehearsal performance, or some other version. She was good, but not great on the version we got to see. Besides, it’s never safe to peak too soon. Lauren is probably better off for taking it a bit slow.

I still think Lauren A., Scotty and Thia could take it to the end.

But I voted or Casey Abrams last night. So did my high school friend. He makes me smile. He is, as Jennifer Lopez put it, “sexy” in some weird, weird way. That’s probably the only thing she said that was worth hearing.

Funny how Randy Jackson is all-of-a-sudden the only judge actually doling out constructive criticism. How did that happen? Now he just needs to come up with critiques beyond “pitchy” and “sharp” … “dawg.”

Watch all of the performances in videos on Wetpaint’s “American Idol” page. It’s pretty cool.

Lauren, Scott and Thia. I think either Lauren or Scott will win. But what do I know.

There’s too much shouting going on. I miss Emily Anne Reed. She had a unique voice. She was my new Megan Joy Corkrey. And she’s gone.

Still around on “American Idol” Season 10 — the screamers. Like that James Durbin kid who is just a low-rent Adam Lambert. And the first girl on tonight’s Hollywood Week finale. She screeeeeaaaaamed her way through “God Bless the Child” as if the song were all vowels and no actual words.

The judges ate it up. They’re eating up all the screamers.

They don’t seem to realize most people on the radio are not screaming. A lot of them (*cough*Rihanna*cough*) can barely sing well enough to make it past the “Idol” auditions.

But when you hear their voices, you recognize them. That’s something I could say about Emily Anne Reed and Megan Joy Corkrey. But it’s not something I can say about 90 percent of the big-voice contestants on this show. They all sound the same.

Except for, say, Scott McCreery, the deep-voiced Southerner who cried over being a bully to poor Jaycee Badeaux and somehow added a lyric about jeans when screwing up “I Hope You Dance.”

(About Jaycee. He’s a sweetheart and I CAN’T STAND that guy in the glasses who made the decision to kick him out of the group song, but Jaycee probably made the top 40 out of sympathy.)

Go Casey! First time anyone used a stand-up bass during Hollywood Week.

I like Scott. I like red-headed Brett Loewenstern. I love Casey Abrams. But 15-year-old Lauren Alaina Suddeth is probably going to win. It couldn’t be more obvious that that’s what the judges want.

But, as we all know, “Idol” has been hijacked by 13-year-old girls, so unless they decide Lauren is cuter, or at least more relatable, than a guy like Scott, she may be cut before the end.

Same applies to cute little Thia Megia. But Thia’s voice isn’t that distinctive to me. Lauren could get to Carrie Underwood status, if she has the support.

Either way, I think this is the year a young’un wins. If David Archuleta were on Season 10, he’d win. But he’s not. So I’m going with either Lauren or Scott.

As long as it isn’t Ashley Sullivan. She’s kind of a local girl, but I’m sick of her emotional drama.

****UPDATE****

Check out the top 24 spoilers here. Actually, they just have 18 so far. I don’t see Thia! But I do see Jaycee…

**** END UPDATE****

American Idol Season 10 Top 40:

Alex Ryan
Brett Loewenstern
Casey Abrams
Chris Medina
Clint Jun Gamboa
Colton Dixon
DeAndre Brackensick
Jacee Badeaux
Jacob Lusk
James Durbin
Jerome Bell
Jimmie Allen
John Wayne Schulz
Jordan Dorsey
Jovany Barreto
Paul McDonald
Robbie Rosen
Scott McCreery
Stefano Langone
Tim Halperin
Tiwan Strong
Ashthon Jones
Brittany Mazur
Eryn Kelly
Haley Reinhart
Hollie Cavanagh
Jackie Wilson
Jessica Cunningham
Julie Zorrilla
Karen Rodriguez
Kendra Chantelle Campbell
Keisha Renee
Lauren Alaina Suddeth
Lauren Turner
Naima Adedapo
Pia Toscano
Ta-Tynisa Wilson
Thia Megia
Joey Dwyer-Mount
Rachel Zevita

Why do they keep ignoring her?

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

I’m convinced the Emmy voters don’t even watch the shows they nominate. They can’t. Otherwise there is NO WAY IN HELL they would snub Cat Deeley of “So You Think You Can Dance” for Outstanding Reality Show Host.

Ryan Seacrest just came off not only the worst season of “American Idol” in terms of talent and entertainment (it should never have been nominated for Outstanding Reality Show Competition), it was the worst for him as a host/human being.

And, look, I love “Project Runway.” I’ve seen every season. But Heidi Klum does not do enough to deserve a nomination for anything. Hell, the woman has turned most of the recent challenges into ways to dress herself and her kids.

Meanwhile, Cat Deeley is busy hosting LIVE shows. (Of the nominees, only Cat, Seacrest and Tom Bergeron of DWTS consistently host live programs.) Always warm. Always witty. Always supportive of her “babies” and challenging of the judges, but in a respectful way.

I have “So You Think You Can Dance” on in the background as I type this because I was convinced that they would address this error on air. Instead, the judges gushed over themselves and the Emmy nominations they did receive. Adam Shankman, you don’t need to cut into a dancer’s critique to add a shout-out to your co-producers. It’s cool that former SYTYCD contestant and current “Dancing with the Stars” pro Chelsie Hightower got an Emmy nod. And Mia Michaels. Whatever.

But come on. The FIRST thing they should’ve done was tell Cat she deserved an Emmy nomination. Make it plain. Make it public. Say it there in front of the fans and viewers to let her know she is appreciated. She needs to have that aired.

I love “Survivor.” I adore Jeff Probst. I wouldn’t have joined this Facebook group if I wasn’t pathetic about him. But he should’ve been nervous this year because of Cat Deeley. She, Jeff and Tom are the best hosts on TV. Period.

Part of me still wants Cat to replace Brooke Burke on DWTS. Leaving her out of the mix entirely cheapens the nominations as a whole. No matter what happens, she’s definitely on my list of Outstanding Reality Show Hosts. And, yes, I care about that list.

Anyway, here are the main reality show nominees, as copied from Entertainment Weekly, which is also upset about the Cat snub.

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW HOST
Ryan Seacrest (American Idol)
Phil Keoghan (The Amazing Race)
Tom Bergeron (Dancing with the Stars)
Heidi Klum (Project Runway)
Jeff Probst (Survivor)

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW COMPETITION
Project Runway
Top Chef
The Amazing Race
Dancing with the Stars
American Idol

By the way, happy birthday Derek. You deserve the gift of a mirror ball.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

It’s time for “American Idol” to pull a Brad Womack from “The Bachelor” and choose no one.

Go ahead and get to the final two — probably Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze, even though Casey James at least smiles and acts like it’s not torture to be there — then tell them they’re both really great people, but it’s not working out. It’s not them. It’s us.

Actually, it’s the judges, who screwed season 9 back when they chose a lousy top 24 and things just went downhill from there, especially after America dumped Alex Lambert (still love you, Mullet Boy!) and Siobhan Magnus.

I never thought he'd get this far (he certainly shouldn't have) but now that he's here, I prefer him to the others.

But if Casey can't win (and why would he) and they decide they have to give it to someone (they shouldn't), give it to Crystal.

Neither Crystal nor Lee is ready to be a decent Idol winner. Crystal still reminds me of a hippie street busker and Lee just makes me sad. Even Danny Gokey could’ve beat him last season and I never liked Danny Gokey.

Lee has little-to-no personality and if I hear a Lee song on the radio I’ll probably just wish it were by Chris Daughtry or David Cook. (Or Kris Allen. I acknowledge your existence, Kris, even if you are somehow persona non grata on Idol!)

If “American Idol” wants to salvage the worst and most boring season ever, it should make a quality control statement to the effect of “Our bad! These guys aren’t ready to hold the same title as Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. We’ll try again next time. Without Simon.”

Is that too much to ask? But if someone has to win, and it can’t be Casey, make it Crystal. She, at least, doesn’t instantly remind me of a half dozen better Idol contestants.

“Dancing with the Stars” has a very different problem. In fact, it’s the exact opposite problem: Too much talent. Nicole Scherzinger shot herself in the foot the first week, committing the cardinal sin of DWTS: She danced well. And then she made it worse for herself: She kept dancing well.

Lee DeWyze makes me almost miss Danny Gokey. Almost.

No one wants to see someone succeed! They want people to humiliate themselves, or at least talk about how nervous and awkward they feel, then have a slow progression that ends in tears of gratitude and joy and some kind of platitude like “Thank you for giving me back my smile.” (Oh, sorry, was that a real statement from Erin “Why Not Us?” Andrews?)

For some reason people are calling Nicole a professional dancer. As if The Pussycat Dolls are the Solid Gold Dancers instead of a new version of The Spice Girls. (Mel B. aka Scary Spice was a Spice Girl. And she made it to #2 on DWTS Season 5 with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, so it’s not like he hasn’t danced with alleged “pros” before.)

It drives me crazy. Because not only are the Pussycat Dolls not exactly out there practicing the Foxtrot or Viennese Waltz on stage, focusing all the “advanced dancer” hate on Nicole ignores the real issue: OLYMPIANS ALWAYS WIN. Three Olympic gold medalists have won the mirror ball in the past nine seasons: Apolo Anton Ohno, Kristi Yamaguchi and Shawn Johnson.

Evan Lysacek is now in the finals. He is exactly like Kristi and Shawn in that he is INCREDIBLY BORING. Always giving the trained PR answers that are blandly positive and will offend no one. Even his partner said he can come off as “cold.” And the Dance Center guys mocked him last week by falling asleep. The judges went nuts over his vampire Paso Doble, but if you actually looked at his face in the dance, he kept defaulting to his blank expression.

Nicole is the best dancer. If she has any extra edge at all it’s that she’s dancing with Derek Hough, the best dancer and choreographer in the competition. If Derek’s sister, Julianne, returns to the show he’ll have some real competition out there.

Stop the neurotic, bickering fourth-graders!

I guess I’m really disgusted because this is Mya & Dmitry Chaplin all over again. Mya was penalized last season for being too good too soon, thereby not seeming to live up to the spirit of the competition (humiliating someone in front of millions until they are either voted off or get good enough to sob and win).

Mya & Dmitry were the most entertaining couple for the season but they lost to Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson. Because if there’s anyone out there who has no song and dance experience, it’s Mr. Showman Donny Osmond. Good call, America!

Stop the Olympians!

Seriously, vote for Nicole & Derek. They are the most exciting couple to watch. They are not boring Olympians. They do not whine and bicker every week about how they are the “underdogs” instead of focusing on, you know, dancing well. A talent show that rewards actual talent! What a refreshing concept that would be this year.

***

For a stupid amount of stuff about DWTS — from recaps to top 10 lists and costume hits and misses — visit DWTSShow.com. My Nicole & Derek bias comes out there, too, but not as much as here.

Don't let JT win again. Russell the Evil Oompa Loompa may be the villain of the Villains, but JT is the villain of the Heroes.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

It’s never too early to make a finale prediction. Never.

I routinely make predictions on who will or should win a reality show before it has even begun.

I picked “The Toothless Texan” as my favorite “Survivor: Samoa” contestant just based on the photos and bios released before the first episode.

I was close.

And now I want Russell Hantz GONE from “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.” My tribe of one has spoken!

It’s tough to make a decent call on  a show that just started, like “Dancing with the Stars.”

(SIDENOTE: Read a ton of my DWTS stuff at this fun site. I write just about DWTS there. I’ll be working on a separate site for “The Bachelorette” soon. Huzzah!)

And it’s even tougher for me to make a call on a show like “America’s Next Top Model,” when I forgot to watch for the past two weeks.

(I get busy, you know. Sort of…)

But hell with it. I’m jumping in anyway.

Here are my predictions. Click on the title of each show for an archive of recaps/other stories.

***

DANCING WITH THE STARS 10

Nicole & Derek rule. And not necessarily in that order.

Erin & Maks are flirty tabloid darlings. And they're hot. And they're decent dancers. They could win.

WHO SHOULD WIN: I can already hear people giving Nicole Scherzinger the Mya treatment — “She’s too much of a pro!” “She has too much experience!” “She has an unfair advantage!” Stuff it. Booty shaking on stage and in music videos is not the same as dancing an elegant foxtrot or a funky new jive. If anything, the Pussycat’s “unfair advantage” is having such an innovative choreographer for a partner. That’d be Derek Hough. They are exciting to watch, although they should pace themselves. The public loves a “transformation” and if she’s already so strong there’s nothing to work toward.

WHO WILL WIN: Erin Andrews. Yes, there’s the sympathy vote for the peeping tom thing and now the death threats. Plus, she and Maks have that adorable chemistry. She’s pretty. She’s funny. She’s a good, if not great, dancer and she will probably just get better. Just don’t let Evan Lysacek win. I have nothing against him personally, but I am SO SICK OF THE DAMN OLYMPIANS taking all the mirror balls. Go shine your medals and leave this one to the real amateurs.

***

SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS

WHO SHOULD WIN: Speaking of America loves a transformation, here’s hoping Colby Donaldson continues his “Redemption, baby!” streak with the Heroes. If Superman gets out of that girdle and starts winning individual immunity after the merge, he could draw new followers and make it to the end. I’d love to see Colby and Jerri finale. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

I demand a Colby/Jerri reunion. Please?

Jerri, you know you want to go all the way with Colby.

WHO WILL WIN: I seriously don’t think it will be Evil Russell. His game, once again, is too big. Boston Rob was right — there’s cocky and there’s arrogant and Russell is straight-up arrogant. Instead, I think one of the women will win again. Possibly Amanda Kimmel, if the Heroes pull a Foa Foa from “Samoa” and break apart the now rudderless and Rob-less Villains. Amanda has connections on both Heroes and Villains camps and she’s never won before. She’s come close enough that she’s a threat, but not as much of a threat as people who’ve won before.

***

THE AMAZING RACE 16

WHO SHOULD WIN: Look, I just started watching this show so I have no idea what I’m talking about. Having said that, I never do. Having said that, cowboys Jet & Cord should win. They are entertaining. However, since that is unlikely, I pick father/daughter pair Steve & Allie as a second choice. I love their relationship.

WHO WILL WIN: Either Steve & Allie or the detectives, Louie & Michael. Good news: Both teams are cool. As long as obnoxious Brent & Caite and whiny Carol & Brandy don’t win, all is good.

*Update*: Steve & Allie were eliminated within an hour of me posting this. Did I curse them? Oops. Bye guys!

***

PROJECT RUNWAY 7

Is Seth Aaron on the Bluefly.com accessory wall? Should we use him thoughtfully?

WHO SHOULD WIN: Seth Aaron Henderson. He’s an upgrade from season three winner Jeffrey Sebelia. He’s edgy, exciting, meticulous at tailoring and consistent. His stuff is fun and different while always saying “Seth Aaron.” Now that Maya Luz is out of the picture his path is even more open.

WHO WILL WIN: Seth Aaron … or Jay Nicolas Sario. PLEASE don’t let it be Jay. His stuff is hit-or-miss with an emphasis on miss.

***

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL 14

WHO SHOULD WIN: I haven’t seen this show since the first episode when I said I wanted Ren Vokes to win. Well, she’s gone. So is Simone Lewis, another one of my early faves. So I am going with either Raina Hein or Krista White.

Alasia vamps it up.

WHO WILL WIN: Considering how many people LOVE Alasia Ballard, I have to imagine she’s the frontrunner. She did not give a good showing on the first episode, but apparently while I was away, she rallied. Her vampire photo won on “America’s Next Top Vampire” which I REALLY wish I had seen. I’m a serious fangbanger. She also won the previous challenge. So I believe the producers are in Alasia’s corner as well.

***

AMERICAN IDOL 9

WHO SHOULD WIN: Alex Lambert. I’m still bitter that he was not allowed to return. Now that he’s gone, I don’t really care too much. Didi is gone, too. So I guess it’s Siobhan Magnus for me. Adam Lambert lite.

Yeah, she's good. But if she has no real competition, where's the drama?

WHO WILL WIN: Crystal Bowersox. She is the only “star” of the season. Then again, we saw how the “star” situation worked last season. Will people learn? Or will — ha ha — Tim Urban win “American Idol” season 9? I’d die laughing. Tee hee.

Team Shiv. Maybe she can save the ending of last season. I have given up on this season being memorable on its own.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Brace yourself: Paige Miles is gone.

I know. It was a HUGE shock.

This has been such an amazing season of “American Idol.” I can’t wait to see what happens next.

This is probably the best top 10 ever.

Crystal and her guitar. Again.

Especially Crystal Bowersox. I’ve never heard anyone like her.

Certainly never in a subway or on a street corner by Quincy Market in Boston or downtown Portsmouth or on the porch during the summer when my neighbor breaks out his guitar.

And Siobhan Magnus isn’t just the female Adam Lambert. She’s her own person. Look at how zany she is! What an original.

Thank God they got rid of Alex Lambert. He was slowing the season down.

At least Tim Urban is still there to add a dose of real talent and star power.

I didn’t even know he had a great body because the camera never pans up and down his torso.

***Pause to take a deep breath and regroup***

OK, I’m done. My bitterness has passed. No more sarcasm. For now.

Look, here’s what happened on the results show, including a list of the top 10 who will be touring in a city near you this summer.

I want Siobhan to kick Crystal’s ass.

Because Siobhan IS this season’s Adam Lambert. I don’t care if she’s a knock-off. Someone needs to avenge Adam’s second place finish last season.

I love Kris Allen, but he won because he wasn’t Adam Lambert.

Kris is truly talented and he had the slow burn approach of building up to a huge finish. Crystal has started strong and is probably going to stay that way, so where’s the excitement and surprise?

At least Siobhan knows how to put on a show, and the producers are giving her The Adam Lambert Treatment with the lighting and stage direction.

She’s worth tuning in for.

Almost.

If they bring Alex Lambert back, I’ll tune back into the performance nights.

Mullet Boy, I have stayed loyal.

Twitter Updates

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 30 other followers