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If this is true, will Chantal be the next Bachelorette? Or is Ashley H. still the one?

Have you read the Brad-picks-Emily-not-Chantal story? It’s the latest spoiler out of FORT.

Reality Steve is going to post something tomorrow that may or may not address this spoiler. It could be that he is (and by that I mean “his sources are”) right and Brad Womack is engaged to Chantal O’Brien. Or he could be wrong and Brad is engaged to Emily Maynard.

** UPDATE **

Steve just posted his column. Brad is engaged to Emily.” He was wrong. Fleissed again! I need to stop believing him. I feel sorry for Chantal…

** END UPDATE **

If Steve is wrong, this will be his second finale Fleiss-ing in a row. If he’s right, he’s going to be ticked about everyone doubting him.

It’s probably safe to say Brad is not engaged to Ashley Hebert, who may or may not be the next Bachelorette. (Will it be Chantal, if Brad does pick Emily?)

Chantal is better off sticking with Boca, anyway. Boca > Brad!

Here’s the unnecessary backstory: I took a random day trip yesterday to Charleston, South Carolina. It was lovely, thanks.

When I came back, I saw that Reality Steve had posted stuff about the “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All,” which was filmed on Friday and will air a week from Monday.

That was expected. Not expected was his note about a big announcement coming, regarding Brad’s season. His Twitter added the detail that it would be coming on Monday.

I checked out the comments on his blog post and that’s where I saw the FORT news. Fans of Reality TV is doing a nice job, again, of sleuthing out stuff. Steve bashes them. They bash Steve. Rinse. Repeat.

The second I read BlondieGal’s thing about how Brad is really engaged to Emily, I wrote up something for Wetpaint. (I am a FORT lurker, but I’ve never posted anything there.)

I really hope it’s true. Emily is boring, but so is Brad. I thought Chantal would bring out his spark or something, but she seems to just be determined to fall in love. I think she’d tell herself she was in love with Joan Rivers if Joan were cast as The Bachelor.

I like this. It’s Ali/Roberto all over again. Or it seems like it is. Who knows. We have to wait until March 14 to find out.

The Ali-picks-no-one thing really felt wrong, especially after Frank left and it turns out he didn’t break her heart. After that, it seemed impossible that she would walk away alone. So she had to pick someone. Roberto made the most sense.

This time, I could see Brad with either Chantal or Emily. And I can see him with neither. Brad says he doesn’t want an emotional roller coaster, which would rule out Chantal. But Brad also wants a friend and someone he can be himself with, and he can’t even get one sentence out around Emily.

I still just want the big news to be that Emily is going on “Dancing with the Stars.”

***

Visit Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor for a crapload of “Bachelor” stories. Do the same for “The Bachelorette” at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette.

And catch up on my “Bachelor/ette/Pad” articles in this nifty blog archive.

Gwyneth Paltrow's posture is not doing her any favors here. On TV, I like her dress a lot more than Nicole Kidman's, but here Nicole's poise is giving her a win.

I wish I cared. This is the first Oscars in memory where I am not passionate about ANY of the categories. And by passionate I mean I don’t even hate anything (*cough*TheBlindSpot*cough).  Last year I wanted “The Hurt Locker” and Kathryn Bigelow to win and thank God, they did.

Some people I just don't get. I don't get Amy Adams.

Sometimes it’s even more fun to root against something. So I’ve decided the best I can do is root against Melissa Leo for Best Supporting Actress in “The Fighter.”

To me, Christian Bale was the only good thing about that movie. I not only grew up in the Boston area, I lived in Lowell, Mass., for five years. He was great. Melissa was over the top. And I normally love her. She’s amazing. Not this time. And then there’s that whole thing with putting out “for your consideration” ads for herself. Not cool.

Why Amy Adams is even on the list is beyond me. Hailee Steinfeld should win. I’m not even into “True Grit,” but she was the best thing in it and it was a lead role.

I would be happy if Natalie Portman lost Best Actress to Annette Bening or Jennifer Lawrence, but that’s a pipe dream.

“Social Network” vs. “The King’s Speech”? Meh. I liked both. I’d be OK with both. I prefer “Social” mostly because it’s very right now, whereas “King’s Speech” is evergreen. But I’m shrugging either way.

I just want Ricky Gervais to host. Then I’d care.

Anyway, on to the fashions. I admire Jennifer Lawrence for going for a simple red dress with little makeup and jewelry. I love what Sharon Stone is doing — and that Sharon Stone is still very much Sharon Stone, know what I mean?

BEST DRESSED

Wow. This is a good way to get noticed.

No one does this. No one just wears a simple red dress without the frills, without jewels, without smoky eyes or whatever. Love this. Jennifer Lawrence is showing a lot of confidence to do this. Good for her.

 

She's so cute.

I really like Hailee Steinfeld. She knows how to dress for her age (14) and act her age, without being obnoxious. I want to see her in something better than “True Grit.”

 

 

Oh HELL yeah.

Frankenstein’s bride meets Cruella De Vil meets Sharon Stone, who is a goddess. I just love her. And I miss her. Not as much as I miss Cher, but still. (And, yes, that’s meant to be a compliment. Take it or leave it!)

 

Holy crap. Which one of these two is famous, again?

Wow. Matthew McConaughey has never been my cup of tea, but he has great taste in women. His girlfriend, Camila Alves, looks insane. Definitely the best significant other of the night.

 

 

Very mod squad.

I like the simple stuff. This is what I like about Reese Witherspoon. It’s actually one of the only things I like about her. She doesn’t do anything for me as an actress. But she has great style. And I love her hair in this ponytail.

 

 

I barely recognize her anymore.

I love this. Jennifer Hudson should just be “Jennifer” or “Hudson” now since she lost half of herself in the past few years. This is tangerine, I guess. It should clash with the carpet, but it doesn’t. Even the side boob isn’t too much.

 

 

Can do no wrong.

Halle Berry is timeless. And if Halle Berry can’t find a decent boyfriend/husband, I’m thinking no one else should even try.

 

WORST DRESSED

 

Nah.

Is Melissa Leo trying to be the new Helena Bonham Carter? Because she can’t pull it off. She can’t pull off HBC or Tilda Swinton. Or Bjork. So she should stop trying. Melissa is awesome and actually quite beautiful, but she makes the oddest choices.

 

I'm surprised by this.

I expect Anne Hathaway to wear something simple and classy and instead she wears a busy dress that clashes with the carpet. She’s co-hosting, so I’m sure she’ll wear 100 things before the night is done, but this is the red carpet dress. I’m disappointed.

 

Love her, but not the dress.

I’m too lazy to look it up, but many moons ago Cate Blanchett wore this amazing metallic dress to … I think it was the Oscars. Now she’s wearing this. She and Michelle Williams seem to be channeling the same brain and unfortunately I’m on a different wavelength. I trust that they know better, but I’m just not impressed.

 

When bad ideas happen to good people.

I don’t mind Marisa Tomei. Sometimes I even like her. But this dress is incredibly unflattering.

 

Who is this?

Ugh. Nicole Kidman is always a lock for the best dressed lists. Now she’s just … wtf? Why do hip wings exist? And I’m not into the ruby slippers.

 

She doesn't have enough boobage to fill this.

I like the simplicity of Jennifer Lawrence’s red gown, but I don’t like this on Sandra Bullock. Not only is she missing the required, uh, assets upstairs, she looks pale-in-a-bad-way and her face looks too tight. I don’t like her hair either. Sorry.

 

 

Really?

Mark Wahlberg’s wife, Rhea Durham, wins for worst-dressed significant other.

 

SPLIT DECISIONS

 

Javier Bardem is definitely a win, anyway.

I love Penelope Cruz, but this dress — with her ta-tas hanging out — is a little too night-out-in-Vegas for me. The color is great on her, but it looks kinda cheap. I feel like I could buy this down the street.

 

There she goes again with the "I'm so f-cking hot" face.

I think my problem is with the stuff over the boobs. When she was talking to Ryan Seacrest on the carpet, I kept thinking that lace stuff was going to give a wardrobe malfunction. I do love the color, though. It’s not her, though. I don’t see this kind of romantic thing for her.

 

 

When good dresses happen to the wrong people.

I like this dress for someone else, just not Hilary Swank. That’s all.

 

 

For heaven's sake, SHAVE already!

Christian Bale needs to shave and his gorgeous wife, Sibi, needs to come up with a second hairstyle. She has worn her hair in this center part forever. There’s nothing wrong with mixing things up every so often.

 

Get your hands off She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's future husband!

I don’t like Scarlett Johansson’s messy hair, but at least she’s not doing the Hillary Clinton helmet anymore. The top of her dress looks too sheer. It looks like we can see her bra. Why do men just wear tuxes? So boring.

 

Meh.

I don’t know. Fine. Sure. Whatever. Natalie Portman. Color is good.

 

 

What is this about?

Busy Philipps and Michelle Williams were holding hands as they arrived on the red carpet. I don’t know how I feel about Michelle’s very simple, color-less, fitted dress. I wish she would do something exciting for once. On the red carpet, I mean. Beyond holding Busy’s hand.

 

 

I just hope there's at least one juicy judge vs. pro fight this season.

It’s almost time for Len Goodman to break out his 10 paddle! (Or at least the 5.) The cast of Dancing with the Stars Season 12 will be announced on Monday during Episode 9 of The Bachelor.

DWTS Season 12 will hold its two-hour premiere from 8 to 10 p.m. on Monday, March 21, a week after The Bachelor finale. The first Results Show will air from 9 to 10 p.m. on Tuesday, March 29.

It won't happen, but it should. She'd be much better as a DWTS contestant than The Bachelorette. And the DWTS audience would LOVE her.

Pretty much everyone on the planet has been rumored to be in the cast this season, so check for your own name in this gallery of possible DWTS stars and return to Wetpaint’s DWTS site on Monday night for the actual list of contestants.

Will Christine O’Donnell be the new Kate Gosselin/Bristol Palin? Will the world end if that happens? What if she’s actually a good dancer?

And Bachelor spoiler fans, whaddya think about this wild theory: What if Emily Maynard dances this season?

Think about it.

She turned down The Bachelorette and it could just be because she was away from Ricki for so long, but it could be because she decided to do DWTS instead.

*** FEB 26 UPDATE ***

Is Emily not the Bachelorette because Brad actually picked her in the end? FORT says Steve got it wrong (again) and Brad is engaged to Emily, not Chantal. Emily is actually a much better match for Brad, since they are both vanilla bland. Michelle Money called them Ken & Barbie and I think that’s the truth. Maybe Brad & Emily should dance together?

*** END UPDATE ***

It’s probably not the case, but it’s my favorite wild theory of the day. Besides, she’s gorgeous and she’d be great paired with … Maks? she’s so sweet, he’d have to keep his temper around her.

I'm not feeling it.

Is Maks even coming back, or is he still busy being the Ukrainian Bachelor? If Maks doesn’t come back, and Derek Hough is still gone, who will we stare at?

By the way, I’m not into the Ashley Hebert idea. At all. She’s, like, 10th on my list of good Bachelorettes. Michelle Money is still #1. Then Shawntel Newton, Madison “fang girl” Garton, Gia Allemand, Jackie Gordon, Jillian Harris 2.0 … I’ll think of more…

Visit Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor for a crapload of “Bachelor” stories. Do the same for “The Bachelorette” at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette.

And catch up on my “Bachelor/ette/Pad” articles in this nifty blog archive.

I like having another Fabio to stare at, but this one needs to stop showing off his undies. Who does he think he is, Chase?

Rob Mariano seems like he’s back in The Robfather role on “Survivor: Redemption Island,” but I don’t know… He and Russell Hantz are back to playing their 1.0 games and the whole “Redemption Island” thing seems to be getting lost in the shuffle.

I get Rob wanting to prevent another Rob + Amber, but was it smart to vote out Matt Elrod on Episode 2, just because:

1. He flirted with Andrea Boehlke
2. He — gasp! — showed good sportsmanship after his tribe, Ometepe, lost the reward/immunity challenge
3. He’s the biggest male threat in his alliance?

I vote no.

Because Matt is now going to meet Francesca Hogi on Redemption Island. It’s possible that Francesca will beat Matt, but it’s also possible that Matt is truly another Fabio clone and will dominate in whatever challenge they throw at him.

*
Pause for a brief spoiler break:

The very limited and probably wrong spoilers out there have said that Matt is part of a core alliance that does well. There were even mutterings that he might make the final 3. Wrong? Right? Who knows. They also said Matt and Natalie Tenerelli had a flirtation, when it looks like (so far) it’s really Matt and Andrea.

End spoiler break!

*

Now what? I love how big you're playing, Kristina, but now you have no idol and no allies.

I feel like the Matt decision may come back to haunt Rob. He should’ve voted out Phillip Sheppard, who said the episode’s title to Rob: “You Own My Vote.”

So use it, Rob. Send former-federal-agent-and-current-lion Phillip to Redemption Island to do what he wants to do — face his “nemesis,” Francesca/Francesqua. (Maybe he should just call her Fran.)

Or (wild idea) vote out a weak player so your tribe might actually start winning a few challenges.

Meanwhile, Russell Hantz has turned into the clown of his own season. He’s back to collecting pretty young things, telling anyone who’ll listen that he’s Russell Hantz. He’s that good!

But while he’s playing Russell 1.0, his nemesis — the exceptionally hairy Ralph Kiser — has become Russell 2.0, the kinder softer version the real Russell should’ve tried to be.

Ralph now has an idol. He found it without a clue while … uh … looking for rocks? Russell has an idol clue. Does he have the clue to the idol that was already found? How many idols are out there?

And why isn’t Redemption Island its own cool little island in the middle of nowhere? Why does it look like any other beach?

Right now only about a handful of players have gotten any real camera time — Rob, Russell, Ralph, the power-playing Kristina Kell, crazy Phillip, Russell’s #1 gal, Stephanie Valencia, and Rob’s #1 gal, Natalie. Mike Chiesl may have some potential, but it’s quiet potential right now. That’s probably for the best.

Considering how Rob & Russell are so patronizing to the girls they believe they’ll have to carry to the end, I am rooting for Kristina at this point. I’m also rooting for Matt to beat Francesca, but only to show Rob that he’s not as in control of this game as he thinks.

But most of the people on the show have not said more than two words, so I have no idea who I’ll be rooting for by the end. Has Julie Wolfe even said one word? How about my boy David Murphy? Move the cameras off Rob for a second, please!

Catch up on my “Survivor” stories in this archive.

These people are still around:

Ometepe Tribe

* Francesca Hogi, 36, Washington D.C.; attorney— 1st sent to Redemption Island
* Matt Elrod, 22, Nashville; pre-med student — 2nd sent to Redemption Island
* Kristina Kell, 46, Malibu; law student
* Grant Mattos, 29, West Hollywood; former NFLer, yoga instructor
* Phillip Sheppard, 52, Santa Monica; technology executive
* Natalie Tenerelli, 19, Acton, Calif.; professional dancer
* Ashley Underwood, 25, Benton, Maine; nurse
* Andrea Boehlke, 21, Random Lake, Wis.; student
* “Boston Rob” Rob Mariano

Zapatera Tribe

* Mike Chiesl, 31, Del Mar, Calif.; former Marine
* Ralph Kiser, 44, Lebanon, Va.; farmer
* Krista Klumpp, 25, Columbia, S.C.; pharmaceutical rep.
* David Murphy, 31, West Hollywood; defense attorney
* Stephanie Valencia, 25, Long Beach, Calif.; waitress
* Sarita White, 36, Santa Monica; visual effects producer
* Julie Wolfe, 50, Oceanside, Calif.; firefighter
* Steve Wright, 51, Huntington Beach, Calif.; former NFL player
* Russell Hantz

Please please please please make this happen. Vote in the Wetpaint poll (link below) to vote for Michelle as the next "Bachelorette." Can you imagine having an interesting person in the hot seat, for once?

Oh this made my day.

Reality Steve just wrote that Emily “Soporific Southern Barbie” Maynard will not be the next “Bachelorette.”

*** UPDATE ***

It’s only the day after the Emily news, but Steve just announced the new Bachelorette will be Ashley Hebert, pronounced Ay-bear, ’cause it’s all French-like. Si! I’m not happy with this choice. My choices are below. Sad face. Actually, more like resigned face. As long as they cast her well, it should be OK. “The Bachelorette” is all about the men. Find me some Robertos and Reids, ABC!

*** UPDATE PART 2 ***

Is Emily not the Bachelorette because Brad actually picked her in the end? FORT says Steve got it wrong (again) and Brad is engaged to Emily, not Chantal. True or false? We’ll find out soon!

*** END UPDATE ***

Did she turn down the show? (Likely.) Did they decide they didn’t want her? (Less likely.) Will they skip “The Bachelorette” and go straight into another season of “The Bachelor” or “Bachelor Pad” or “Something Else Entirely”? Hell if I know.

All I know is, I’m so happy when I get my way. I didn’t want Chris Lambton as “The Bachelor” and, more to the point, neither did he. He didn’t appreciate his saccharine edit and he found his own Southern Barbie in Peyton Wright.

I was happy to have Brad Womack as the Season 15 “Bachelor,” although I’m disappointed in how he’s handling this second chance. I don’t give a rat’s ass if he contacted Laurel Kagay before, during or after the show. I care that he’s boring. I care that he can’t get through a sentence without awkward stammering and unnecessary things like “Can I say this?” or “Can we be honest here?” I care that he’s completely owned by the emotional basket-cases around him. I care that he says he doesn’t want an emotional roller coaster, then buys a lifetime ticket for exactly that. And that’s without even getting into his on-air therapy sessions.

I’ve already written my case for Michelle Money to be the next “Bachelorette.” Please God, let someone from ABC see the value in the idea.

If women can put up with The Most Hated Bachelor Ever (now strongly in the running for The Most Boring Bachelor Ever) and let ratings do OK, they should be able to put up with The Most Controversial Bachelorette Ever and give her a chance to show the sides that ABC didn’t show on “The Bachelor.”

Because if Chris Lambton didn’t like how “nice” he was portrayed on the show, it’s fair to think they are going the same thing to people like Michelle Money. She said as much in her media interview and fans may not believe her, but only because they’re buying what ABC is selling. They sold Chris and Emily as the heroes and Michelle as the villain. Michelle is an actress, but I was on that media call with her and she proved she can be sane and reasonable and sweet for at least an hour and a half, which is more than I can say for some people.

Michelle is a single mom, just like Emily. She’s made mistakes in life, just like Emily. She’s gorgeous and very camera-ready, just like Emily. She just happens to be more interesting than Emily. A lot more interesting.

Michelle said she would only do the show if her daughter’s schedule would allow for it, or something. I don’t know how it would work, but my hopes are up now. Not that it’s likely to happen.

I appreciate you, Shawntel. You were a lovely dose of Dramamine on a season of emotional roller coasters.

The producers are more likely to cast cuties like the Ashleys, Hebert or Spivey. I would prefer Shawntel Newton, but look what they did to her — yes, she works as a funeral director, but Ashley Hebert works as a dentist and Ash didn’t get the creepy “Is it safe?” date. Why not? Are they grooming her for “more”?

That funeral director edit may have put the literal nail in Shawntel’s “Bachelorette” coffin because it just put a bad taste in viewers’ mouths. Besides, her freaking dad brought out the violins over the idea of Shawntel ever leaving Chico or the family business. She’s stuck, poor lass. (Run for your life, kid!)

If you’re into the idea of Michelle as the next “Bachelorette,” PLEASE vote in this Wetpaint poll. It may actually help her. You can vote several times, which is how Vienna got so many votes. (Is she voting over and over herself, or maybe her family members)

Prefer Shawntel? You can vote for her here. (Or you can vote for Michelle again.)

Visit Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor for a crapload of “Bachelor” stories. Do the same for “The Bachelorette” at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette.

And catch up on my “Bachelor/ette/Pad” articles in this nifty blog archive.

Lauren, Scott and Thia. I think either Lauren or Scott will win. But what do I know.

There’s too much shouting going on. I miss Emily Anne Reed. She had a unique voice. She was my new Megan Joy Corkrey. And she’s gone.

Still around on “American Idol” Season 10 — the screamers. Like that James Durbin kid who is just a low-rent Adam Lambert. And the first girl on tonight’s Hollywood Week finale. She screeeeeaaaaamed her way through “God Bless the Child” as if the song were all vowels and no actual words.

The judges ate it up. They’re eating up all the screamers.

They don’t seem to realize most people on the radio are not screaming. A lot of them (*cough*Rihanna*cough*) can barely sing well enough to make it past the “Idol” auditions.

But when you hear their voices, you recognize them. That’s something I could say about Emily Anne Reed and Megan Joy Corkrey. But it’s not something I can say about 90 percent of the big-voice contestants on this show. They all sound the same.

Except for, say, Scott McCreery, the deep-voiced Southerner who cried over being a bully to poor Jaycee Badeaux and somehow added a lyric about jeans when screwing up “I Hope You Dance.”

(About Jaycee. He’s a sweetheart and I CAN’T STAND that guy in the glasses who made the decision to kick him out of the group song, but Jaycee probably made the top 40 out of sympathy.)

Go Casey! First time anyone used a stand-up bass during Hollywood Week.

I like Scott. I like red-headed Brett Loewenstern. I love Casey Abrams. But 15-year-old Lauren Alaina Suddeth is probably going to win. It couldn’t be more obvious that that’s what the judges want.

But, as we all know, “Idol” has been hijacked by 13-year-old girls, so unless they decide Lauren is cuter, or at least more relatable, than a guy like Scott, she may be cut before the end.

Same applies to cute little Thia Megia. But Thia’s voice isn’t that distinctive to me. Lauren could get to Carrie Underwood status, if she has the support.

Either way, I think this is the year a young’un wins. If David Archuleta were on Season 10, he’d win. But he’s not. So I’m going with either Lauren or Scott.

As long as it isn’t Ashley Sullivan. She’s kind of a local girl, but I’m sick of her emotional drama.

****UPDATE****

Check out the top 24 spoilers here. Actually, they just have 18 so far. I don’t see Thia! But I do see Jaycee…

**** END UPDATE****

American Idol Season 10 Top 40:

Alex Ryan
Brett Loewenstern
Casey Abrams
Chris Medina
Clint Jun Gamboa
Colton Dixon
DeAndre Brackensick
Jacee Badeaux
Jacob Lusk
James Durbin
Jerome Bell
Jimmie Allen
John Wayne Schulz
Jordan Dorsey
Jovany Barreto
Paul McDonald
Robbie Rosen
Scott McCreery
Stefano Langone
Tim Halperin
Tiwan Strong
Ashthon Jones
Brittany Mazur
Eryn Kelly
Haley Reinhart
Hollie Cavanagh
Jackie Wilson
Jessica Cunningham
Julie Zorrilla
Karen Rodriguez
Kendra Chantelle Campbell
Keisha Renee
Lauren Alaina Suddeth
Lauren Turner
Naima Adedapo
Pia Toscano
Ta-Tynisa Wilson
Thia Megia
Joey Dwyer-Mount
Rachel Zevita

I love looking at where people are coming from and what they're clicking on. Especially when people are getting here by searching for random things like "top chef all stars boot list" when I've never written any spoilers on "Top Chef." Wouldn't even know where to begin.

If most bloggers took 13 months to get 1,000,000 hits, they would probably keep it to themselves. Entertainment Weekly probably gets several million hits a day, and Reality Steve has said he gets something like 500,000 hits a week.

But for me it’s pretty cool — especially since the original idea for this blog was an epic fail.

Back in July 2009, The Famous Lisa Bradbury and I decided to start our own blogs and write short stories. I wrote one story — which ended up about “The Bachelor,” because everything I do ends up about “The Bachelor” whether I want it to or not — and The Famous Lisa Bradbury didn’t write anything or even launch a blog, for a while. (But she is writing things off the web, she just doesn’t want us to see them yet…)

After my one fiction story, I left the blog blank for a while … and then decided to write the same kind of pop culture recaps/gossip I used to write for Seacoastonline.com. I started when Jake Pavelka’s season of “The Bachelor” began in January 2010 — (Can you believe that was only last year?) — and I’ve been posting at least two stories a week ever since.

Anyway, thanks for clicking. I won’t flatter myself and think you’re reading everything. It’s probably best if you don’t anyway, since I just babble. I still just do this for my own amusement. No ads. No plan for ads. Just silliness.

***

But for anyone who might care, this is what WordPress says my top posts have been:

‘Survivor Nicaragua’ spoilers: Boot lists predict order of eliminated contestants, final 3 — 46,492
When the heck is ‘Project Runway’ Season 9 starting?   —   42,244
Gia Allemand (really Gina) regrets implants, Tenley Molzahn’s ex is engaged and other Bachelor details  —   30,014
Bachelorette spoilers: Should Ali Fedotowsky pick Chris Lambton or Roberto Martinez?  —  26,841
‘The Bachelor’ Season 15 finale spoilers! Brad Womack picks ‘The Slapper’ Chantal O’Brien over NASCAR mom Emily Maynard?  — 26,781
Shocking major spoilers on entire season of ‘The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love’ from Reality Steve — 24,118
Reid Rosenthal of ‘The Bachelorette’ is still dating Miss USA Kristen Dalton. Sad face. —   21,251
‘Project Runway’ Season 8 SPOILERS: Mondo, Gretchen, April and Andy predicted as final four, Mondo to win?  — 19,356
Spoilers! Is this the official ‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ boot list, complete with winner?  — 18,954
Ali Fedotowsky leaves ‘The Bachelor’ because of work or Vienna? Should she be ‘The Bachelorette’?  — 18,084

So, lots of gossip and reality TV spoilers. Trashy tabloid stuff. Love it!

***

Anyway, if you like “The Bachelor,” please check out Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor every single day because they post a ton of stories, photos, videos and other fun stuff every single day. Same with Wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette.

And keep coming back here for other stuff. Hope you like it! No worries if you don’t! :)

I never thought "Francesca" was a hard name to pronounce, but apparently it's impossible.

“Survivor: Redemption Island” Episode 1: “You’re Looking at the New Leader of Your Tribe” (Phillip thinks it’s him!)

***

Han Solo: “Keep your distance, though, Chewie, but don’t look like you’re trying to keeping your distance.”
[Chewie barks a question]
Han Solo: “I don’t know. Fly casual.”

***

If we’ve learned anything from recent seasons of “Survivor” it’s the need to fly casual. Lay low. Go ahead and strategize. Go ahead and find immunity idols. Go ahead and play hard like Kristina Kell, just don’t be as obvious about it as Kristina Kell. (Who is Yve + Alina from “Survivor: Nicaragua.”)

However, brava to her for making a big move on the very first episode of “Survivor: Redemption Island.” After “Nicaragua” I am starved for big moves. But make them SMART big moves. Pissing off Boston Rob Mariano on the first day? Not smart.

Also not smart: Making an alliance with Phillip “Pipe That” Sheppard and his motor mouth. How many sisters does he have? Seven? How have they let him get away with this “Did I mention I’m a former federal agent” and “You need to pipe that” and “We’re done talking” and “hyper state of arousal” and “excuse me!” horseshite for so long?

Ometepe, minus Rob.

Boston Rob — hero-worshipped right off the bat, as if “All-Stars” never happened — saw through Kristina right away and knew she was looking for the idol. (While everyone else was socializing and building camp.) He played it down. She should’ve tried to make an alliance out of it, but instead she panicked and decided to go against him.

Rob used her decision to go against him to go against her — calling her out at Tribal Council and making a big move in front of the impressionable young’uns. He won.

Rob proves if you get a second chance, you don’t waste it. You change or at least convince people you’ve changed. He will do well.

And he’s right: He’s playing with amateurs. Francesca Hogi should’ve kept her mouth shut at Tribal Council and Phillip’s “crazy outburst” saved Natalie Tenerelli’s fate and sealed Francesca’s.

Poor Francesca is now gone … but she’s gone to Redemption Island. We still don’t know how that will play out.

I feel sorry for Kristina, but what can you do…

While Rob was being casual, just making friends with the worshipping young’uns, Russell Hantz made a speech about changing and then went right back to his routine of trying to organize a “dumbass girls” alliance.

Immunity winners Zapatera, minus Russell.

LOVED his patronizing exchange with Stephanie Valencia, asking her — like a teacher, leading a student — who he took to the end the first time on “Samoa.” Natalie! The second time, on “Heroes vs. Villains”? Parvati!

He thinks she’s stupid enough to go with the “i” name theme. He makes his pitch. She goes for it, or at least says yes, which is the correct response even if you don’t mean it. (She is not living up to her namesake. The Real Stephanie, from “Palau,” would’ve told Russell off.)

And, point of order, Parvati owned the Russell/Parv alliance. She is not a “cute little girl.” She’s the best player this game has ever seen.

David Murphy (my pre-season favorite) and Mike Chiesl want Russell gone. Good idea. You can’t bank on having him take you to the end. He does breed paranoia and he can’t be trusted to stick with people. (He tried to get rid of Parvati and he ousted her BFF, Danielle, in a blindside. He’s also obnoxious and emotionally exhausting.)

Rob is on Ometepe, which has more women than men. He’s good with girls. Very good. Ashley Underwood even said losing the immunity challenge made her feel like she let her “leader” down. Phillip believes he’s good with girls, too, and then he pissed off his alliance mate, Kristina, and their co-conspirator, Francesca. (It’s worth noting, though, that Fabio clone Matt Elrod is probably even better with girls, without having to try.)

Rob said he was going to try to vote off Francesca (or whatever Phillip called her, with his dry mouth), because Fran said right off the bat that Rob was sneaky and she didn’t want him around. But Kristina’s obvious moves prompted Rob to change his mind. And by his mind, I mean everyone’s mind. Ometepe is now The Borg. And Phillip, Kristina and Francesca are on the outs.

So far Russell isn't doing much. Even though Rob's team lost the immunity challenge, he's still in charge.

Right now, even with his tribe down one player, Rob is running the game.

Who will go to Redemption Island next week, if Ometepe loses again? Phillip or Kristina? As annoying as Phillip is, he’s not as dangerous as Kristina. She (over)played her hand too soon. But she does still have that idol…

Side note: Enough with the “Redemption Island” “What if?” videos — like Shambo. Really? Shambo? We get the point of coming back.

These people are still around:

Ometepe Tribe

* Andrea Boehlke, 21, Random Lake, Wis.; student
* Matt Elrod, 22, Nashville; pre-med student
* Kristina Kell, 46, Malibu; law student
* Grant Mattos, 29, West Hollywood; former NFLer, yoga instructor
* Phillip Sheppard, 52, Santa Monica; technology executive
* Natalie Tenerelli, 19, Acton, Calif.; professional dancer
* Ashley Underwood, 25, Benton, Maine; nurse
* “Boston Rob” Rob Mariano

Zapatera Tribe

* Mike Chiesl, 31, Del Mar, Calif.; former Marine
* Ralph Kiser, 44, Lebanon, Va.; farmer
* Krista Klumpp, 25, Columbia, S.C.; pharmaceutical rep.
* David Murphy, 31, West Hollywood; defense attorney
* Stephanie Valencia, 25, Long Beach, Calif.; waitress
* Sarita White, 36, Santa Monica; visual effects producer
* Julie Wolfe, 50, Oceanside, Calif.; firefighter
* Steve Wright, 51, Huntington Beach, Calif.; former NFL player
* Russell Hantz

***

Catch up on my “Survivor” stories and spoilers in this nifty archive.

Here's the Ometepe Tribe, before Rob Mariano joins in.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

If the headline didn’t make it clear, I know nothing. Not that I ever did, but my nothing has sunk to new lows.

I love spoilers, but “Survivor: Redemption Island” is extra tricky because of the recent hullabaloo between Missyae, Russell Hantz and CBS. Everyone is on egg shells, Missyae is no longer spoiling in Survivor Sucks and “boot list” is apparently a four-letter word.

But I’ve been trying to piece together random asides from Blackwhale on Survivor Sucks, Missyae on Survivor Skills and photos posted on TrueDorkTimes, as well as Sucks. (*Update* I also added spoilers from RealityTVSpoilers.net)

Keep an eye on Natalie and Matt.

Long story short: Things will probably go well for a “core” Ometepe alliance, which likely includes Natalie Tenerelli (who supposedly dated Ben Henry, aka Benry from “Survivor: Nicaragua”) and Matt Elrod (who looks like Fabio from “Nicaragua”) and probably Ashley Underwood. And maybe Andrea Boehlke.

Natalie and Matt may hook up, too. Showmance? Yes? No? (That’s what they said, but it sounds like “they” may have confused Natalie and Andrea. Andrea and Matt seem to be the couple of the season.)

***

April 28 UPDATE: I think Andrea Boehlke is going to win. If not, I think it’s Ashley Underwood. Here’s why.

May 15 finale UPDATE: Nope! These spoilers suck! Read my full live finale blog! Boston Rob won. Ugh.

***

Anyway, here are the pieces I’ve found and you can put them together (or discount them completely) yourselves:

***

Ometepe Tribe

* Andrea Boehlke, 21, Random Lake, Wis.; student
* Matt Elrod, 22, Nashville; pre-med student
* Francesca Hogi, 36, Washington D.C.; attorney
* Kristina Kell, 46, Malibu; law student
* Grant Mattos, 29, West Hollywood; former NFLer, yoga instructor
* Phillip Sheppard, 52, Santa Monica; technology executive
* Natalie Tenerelli, 19, Acton, Calif.; professional dancer
* Ashley Underwood, 25, Benton, Maine; nurse
* “Boston Rob” Rob Mariano

Here's Zapatera, before Russell joins the fun.

Zapatera Tribe

* Mike Chiesl, 31, Del Mar, Calif.; former Marine
* Ralph Kiser, 44, Lebanon, Va.; farmer
* Krista Klumpp, 25, Columbia, S.C.; pharmaceutical rep.
* David Murphy, 31, West Hollywood; defense attorney
* Stephanie Valencia, 25, Long Beach, Calif.; waitress
* Sarita White, 36, Santa Monica; visual effects producer
* Julie Wolfe, 50, Oceanside, Calif.; firefighter
* Steve Wright, 51, Huntington Beach, Calif.; former NFL player
* Russell Hantz
***

Missyae’s look at this year’s cast:

Andrea Boehlke – -  Love this player. Smart, strong, social, got it all. A serious threat
Ashley Underwood – The Total Package, another serious threat
Francesa Hogi – - – Why do they always cast black females and edit them mouthy? No chance to win
Grant Mattos – - -  I really like this guy, he could be dangerous
Kristina Kell – - – - One of my favorites but shes too much like me, wide open, early alliance wont save her
Matt Elrod – - – - – Might be too nice, if its between him and another alliance member, he would be in trouble?
Natalie Tenerelli – - Of course all the talk is about her because of dating Benry, did she talk? I dunno, but he did
Phillip Sheppard – - Dude, wrong strategy, wow
Rob Mariano – - – - Cant win the title but will win fan favorite. Great alliance, great player, simply put, The Man!!!

David Murphy – - – Booksmart, will that translate to Game smart?? Maybe he outsmarts himself
Julie Wolfe – - – - Wrong, wrong, wrong
Kristina Klumpp – - The Natalie look alike wont win but might surprise some people with a move
Mike Chiesl – - – - Tough guy, strong, smart, definite threat
Ralph Kiser – - – - Definitely has some youtube moments but will not win, he dont take no crap
Sarita White – - – Silent Assasin
Stephanie Valencia – Not very smart and in way over her head
Steve Wright – - – Good guy
Russell Hantz – - Should have never changed your game style, no final 3 for you anymore, toast

***

Blackwhale: 22 Leagues Under the Sea forum on Survivor Sucks:

(Click the link for a lot more; I’m just adding a few of his notes)

Matt, Ashley and Natalie may have actually hung out pretty recently.

Matt Elrod is also a part of the core Ometepe alliance, which if you haven’t yet figured out, does very well.

Two people are “redeemed” and I believe one is male one is female. One at around the merge and the other at the finale, as you all know from call sheets.

Natalie Tenerelli fans will be happy to know she’s one of the last two girls standing.

Forgot to mention, Natalie Tenerelli and Ashley Underwood work very well together!

Rob Mariano outlasts Russell Hantz.

Ashley aligns with Rob and then outlasts him.

Stephanie Valencia = Marisa Calihan? That may be so. Not quite sure if its Ometepe or Zapatera that goes to tribal council first, but when Zapatera goes, look for Stephanie to go quick. She and Russell clash.

Seems like a lot of people here don’t like David too much, but sorry to say he does fairly well for himself. I hear he is linked in with the Krista/Russell alliance. He’s a pretty good player. I think Krista’s the only one who doesn’t turn against Russell though. Just like Ashley outlasts her ally Rob, I am pretty sure Krista does better than Russell.

***

*NEW* (click link below for updates)

RealityTVSpoilers.net’s spoilers:

Castaways voted out for good:
-Francesca Hogi

Castaways sent to Redemption Island early:
-Matt Elrod
-Russell Hantz
-Stephanie Valencia
-Phillip Sheppard
-Kristina Kell

Castaways who may or may not make merge:
-Ralph “Rooster” Kiser
-Julie Wolfe
-Steve Wright
-Krista Klumpp
-Grant Mattos

Castaways who make the merge:
-Mike Chiesl
-Sarita White
-David Murphy
-Boston Rob (probably comes in 5th or 6th)
-Andrea Boehlke (could be in the Final 3)
-Ashley Underwood (could be in the Final 3)
-Natalie Tenerelli (could be in the Final 3)

***

Catch up on my past “Survivor” stories (and future recaps) in this nifty archive.

It would be the most controversial season EV-AH!

It will never happen, but it would be so much fun.

Emily Maynard seems very sweet and genuine and she’s undeniably gorgeous. The camera — along with everyone and everything else on the planet — adores her. But she would not be fun to watch as “The Bachelorette.”

First of all, she has yet to show a personality on “The Bachelor.” She looks worried most of the time. When she’s not worried, she’s pining (understandably) for her daughter. When she’s not doing that, she’s crying and talking about how she sabotages relationships.

We should all be kissing her ring.

She has no romantic spark with Brad Womack at all and it’s pretty much understood that she is this season’s Chris Lambton. The job of choosing between 25-30 (better?) guys on “The Bachelorette” is hers if she wants it and I HOPE TO GOD she doesn’t want it.

On top of not having much personality, Emily is the third rail of this season. You can’t say anything about her without getting a lashing from her adoring fans. Chris Lambton at least had a sarcastic sense of humor. He would’ve been fun to watch as “The Bachelor.”

But you saw the fan (over)reaction to taking Emily on a NASCAR date, can you imagine what will happen when she’s faced with a Justin “Rated-R” Rego or a Wes Hayden?

And ABC would feel compelled to cast some crazy person — like Madison “Fang Girl” Garton or Michelle “I”m Even Crazier Than The Last Michelle” Money, because that drama is what gets people talking, aka ratings.

Another day, another serious sit-down with Emily.

If Emily is off-limits for drama, there is no season to be had. She’s not exciting enough to carry a season on her own and if all of her guys are as gosh darn sweet and vanilla it will be even worse than Brad’s therapy sessions.

On top of that — I hate double standards, but Emily has already spent a lot of time away from her daughter, Ricki, and if she becomes “The Bachelorette” it’s unlikely Ricki would be traveling the world with her. Jason Mesnick was a single dad “Bachelor” but his ex-wife is still among the living. I’m sure whoever is caring for Ricki now could continue to do so during “The Bachelorette,” but is that something Emily would want?

Am I alone here? I don’t care if I am.

Honestly, I’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch Michelle as “The Bachelorette. Seriously. I love the way she tries to control and dominate Brad. She knows what she wants and she knows how crazy she needs to be to get it. No wishy-washy behavior.

It’d be refreshing to have an exciting, mildly insane person in the hot seat for once. And the one-liners she comes out with! I want more. I’m dreading the week after next when she’ll be gone.

(Of course, Michelle is a single mother, too, but I believe her ex-husband, Ryan Money, is still with us and should be able to care for Brielle during the show. … Not that ABC will cast her. They’d probably cast Vienna Girardi before Michelle.)

Is my Michelle a lock for “Bachelor Pad” Season 2? Probably, if she’s into it. Is that enough? No. No, I’ve decided it isn’t. I want her to either be “The Bachelorette” or get her own spinoff. I’m well aware that she’s an actress who has a (straight to video?) movie coming out. And I love the rumor that ABC has been paying her to play the villain. If they aren’t, they should be.

Who else would be good for “The Bachelorette” if not Michelle? Last year I would’ve said Gia Allemand, but not after “Bachelor Pad” Season 1 and certainly not after the online drama between Gia, Vienna and Wes. I want nothing from them anymore.

Maybe Shawntel Newton. I really like her. I like her more than the Ashleys and she’s much more sane than Michelle. I could compromise and go with Shawntel, but please not Emily.

***

Catch up on tons of “Bachelor” stories at Wetpaint.com/the-bachelor — including my recap of Michelle’s not-so-dramatic departure on Episode 7.

Here’s the start:

Ding dong! The witch has fled! Which old witch? The wicked witch …

Yes, in a rare good decision, Brad Womack said goodbye to Michelle Money on The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 7. No more birthdays, ninjas, monkeys, black eyes and repellent rappelling dates. Maybe now she can go replace the “crazy” girl who looks and acts just like her in the Virgin Mobile commercials. (Read full recap here.)

***

Here’s my previous recap of Episode 6: Michelle Needs to be Dumped in All’s Cave:

Knock Knock.
Who’s There?
Michelle.
Michelle Who?
Exactly what Brad should’ve said weeks ago!

(No good? Leave a better Michelle knock-knock joke in the comments. There’s gotta be a great one out there somewhere.)

When Michelle Money came a knockin’, Jackie Gordon and Alli Travis went a walkin’ on The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 6. Sanity seemed to check out of Costa Rica at the same time… (Read full recap here)

***

And if you miss Michelle already, catch up on 15 of her best quotes from Season 15. Come back to us, luv!

***

And catch up on my Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad stories in this blog archive.

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