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My drooling is justified.

I fell in lust love with “Justified” after the first episode.

It started with Timothy Olyphant as U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens. Since then I have rented all seven seasons of “The Shield” — one of the top 10 shows of all time — and I’m now powerfully obsessed with Walton Goggins, who plays Raylan’s childhood buddy Boyd Crowder.

So, yeah. I’m psyched for “Justified” Season 2 to begin on Wednesday, February 9 at 10 p.m. on FX.

AOL’s TV Squad has joined me in lamenting the lack of awards love given to the series: “Despite being overlooked in the TV categories at the Golden Globes and the SAG Awards, the show’s first season was critically lauded. Hopefully the award-giving powers that be take notice this time around.”

True dat!

Is there a "Survivor" without Jeff? I vote no.

Everyone loves Fabio. Especially Fabio. I get it. He’s proud of his win and if I were him I’d be loving life too. More power to him.

I was reading this Zap2It story where Fabio was talking about how he was nervous after Chase’s four votes during last night’s “Survivor: Nicaragua” finale because he’d been spoiled on the ending too. He was probably given some intel from past contestants but the rest of us thought it would be a blowout because of missyae’s spoilers on Survivor Sucks. Anyway, Fabio won — as spoiled — and good for him. Go change the world via color wheels, music videos and parties, etc.

The part of his interview that froze me a bit was when he was asked about the “Redemption Island” twist for “Survivor” season 22:

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What did you think of the “Redemption Island” twist?

“That’s crazy! I think it’s going to be the last season of ‘Survivor.’ I know Jeff has a show going on with Anderson Cooper and I think he’s milked this for all it’s worth, so I think the 22nd season will be the end. But maybe not! Maybe someone else will host.”

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WTF? Personally, I think Jud is the one who has milked “Survivor” for all it’s worth and Jeff Probst has much more up his sleeve.

But the Sucks board has been talking about how Jeff might be leaving the show for ABC or whatnot. CBS has “Survivor” casting calls going on right now, but could they be casting for a Jeff-less season? Is there a “Survivor” without Jeff Probst?

No one is asking me, but I want “Survivor” to keep on keepin’ on, with Jeff Probst, aka Jesus Christ himself. I need my dimples fix.

By the way, if you want intel on “Redemption Island,” Jeff talks about it in this Entertainment Weekly interview and Sucks already has preview photos of an all-stars “Redemption” cast list, unless this is just old, recycled footage.

I want to believe that cast list is legit, even if that’s not logical. I love the idea of having Andrew Savage back! I loved that guy on “Pearl Islands” and I never bought the idea that he shouldn’t return just ’cause he was ousted early in the game.

Catch up on my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers in this nifty archive.

Here's Jud the Stud with the final immunity win — his third win in a row. How hard are Fabio-philes freaking out at this point? I'd be more excited for him if the challenge were less lame. Am I the only one who can't really stand the idea of Fabio winning? So smug so late in the game. Sash, you were ROBBED.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

*Note* The “Survivor: Nicaragua” finale will reportedly start 18 minutes late; so around 8:18 p.m. Eastern time instead of 8 p.m.

Something happened in the past, oh, year or so. I used to be a “casual” fan of “Survivor.” The kind who would be rooting for Judson “Fabio” Birza to win “Survivor: Nicaragua” as we go into tonight’s live finale. But somewhere along the way I went hardcore.

Benry tweeted this pic: "Gettin fresh w fabio in hair and make-up haha #survivorfinale live @ 8pm!" Did Jud cut his hair?

Now it’s not enough for me to have a winner who spent 90% of the season as a spectator. I know it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish, but that’s just one reason I really wanted Holly Hoffman to win.

I don’t want a Spectator to win “Survivor.” I want a Survivor to win.

To me — other than Holly that’s Matthew “Sash” Lenahan as #1 and Chase Rice as #2.

They were both knee-deep in the game the whole time, mistakes and all. No one on this show played a dominant game. This wasn’t a great season overall. No option for winner would be perfect.

There’s a lot of love out there for Jud the Stud. So I think tonight will make a lot of people happy. That’s the news from missyae on Survivor Sucks and on his Twitter, The Game Survivor.

WOW! Holly Hoffman and Jimmy Johnson look amazing backstage in this @CBSTweet twitpic.

I have no major issue with Jud.

Really, I’m pretty much past this season already. I’m mostly interested in what Jeff Probst says at the reunion about Season 22 “Redemption Island” (the rumored title) with Russell Hantz and Boston Rob Mariano as the rumored main players. (Would they really get immunity until the merge? That’s effed up.)

*Update* Jeff didn’t say anything about Rob vs. Russell, so maybe that’s not really going to happen? Or is that being saved for later?

I’m going to do my stream of consciousness live blog recap tonight, just because I’m now obsessed with “Survivor” — even a mediocre season.

If you’re a crazy person like me, you can also follow along with some of the “Survivor: Nicaragua” tweeters, like Benry, Chase and Sash.

Here’s our final five going into tonight:

Judson Birza, 21; student/model/musician, Venice, Calif.
Chase Rice, 24; NASCAR jackman/singer, Fairview, N.C.
Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, 30; luxury broker, New York City
Holly Hoffman, 44; swim coach, Eureka, S.D.
Dan Lembo, 63; property management, Water Mill, N.Y.

Can’t wait to find out what happens? Check out the spoilers boot list.

Kelly B., Brenda, Yve and Jane hang out backstage in this @CBSTweet twitpic.

Catch up on all of my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers in this nifty archive.

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STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS FINALE RECAP

No offense, but WTF is up with Andy Rooney?

8:18 p.m.: Here we go! Recap of season to date. Jeff says no one could’ve predicted that Dan, Sash, Jane, Fabio and Holly would make it to the end. Talk of Dan’s expensive shoes and “ineffective” or non-participation in challenges. Jeff’s recap says he’s the only one left who hasn’t made any enemies. Is that true? I thought Fabio was in the same boat?

“Godmother” Holly ftw! Alas…

Chase Rice and Jeff Probst backstage at the "Survivor: Nicaragua" finale. How tall is Chase, anyway?

Since Day 3, every person Chase has aligned with he eventually voted out. Chase has angered so many people “it was a wonder he was still in the game.” Does Jeff not like Chase?

Sash does look like “a dead man walking.” Is it physically possible for him to get skinnier? I’m asking. “I hold more chips than anyone else still remaining.”  I respect the strategists. He should win.

I forgot that Shannon was the one who called Fabio “a dumb blond” and started the “Fabio” nickname. For the record, I think Fabio is exactly as smart and stupid as he’s being portrayed. I don’t think he’s playing anyone; he’s just being himself.

8:23 p.m.: Opening theme, then commercials…

Our final 4 (plus Non-Entity Dan) before the first finale immunity challenge.

8:27 p.m.: Is Fabio just now realizing that Sash, Chase and Holly are tight and want him out next? Just NOW? Fabio wants to break up the alliance. “Do you want to go to the final 3 with me?” he asks Holly, in front of Dan. Non-entity Dan. Take her to prom, man!

Fabio wants to be “cool” and not let on that he’s playing the game. Too late, since you just played your entire hand in front of Dan and Holly. Fabio needs to win immunity, which he knows. Finally.

Sash knows there’s a good chance Fabio could make an immunity run. Sash tells Fabio what he wants to hear. Sash tells Fabio he would like to get to the end with Chase and Fabio. He wants as many avenues to the final 3 as possible. If that means making deals with everyone, so be it. Big move. Big risk.

8:29 p.m.: Immunity challenge #1

Puzzle with questions about Nicaragua. Did they study before they came?

Fabio got one wrong, had to go back. Chase and Holly coming back for 3rd bags. Fabio back with 2nd bag. He was in last. Except for Dan, who remains a non-entity.

Fabio is way back. He has to make up a lot of time. Dan finally back with 3rd bag, working on puzzle.

Jud the Stud may not be great at answering Nicaragua trivia, but he's great with puzzles.

Sash has a huge lead right now. Fabio and Sash neck-and-neck. Fabio is good with puzzles! It’s like Parvati with the balancing challenges.

“FABIO WINS IMMUNITY!” Get used to hearing that tonight. At least he’s struggling to win. I hate an anointing.

Chase was missing a piece. Cue the jokes about Chase not playing with a full bag of puzzle pieces.

8:40 p.m.: Lots of “way to go, Fabios” from all the fakers.

Fabio is “lovin’ it, man.” He’s always known that he was going to wait until the last minute to be aggressive. That’s a great strategy provided you get to the end. But Fabio has just been lucky so far.

Chase thinks Dan is less of a threat than Holly. Fabio tells Dan that Chase wants to get rid of him. Fabio wants to keep Dan around. He sees Dan as less of a threat to win.

Dan speaks! And does not make his case.

Dan tells Sash and Fabio that Holly is a bigger threat. Fabio wants to make a case for Dan not being the biggest threat. Fabio wants to split up Chase and Holly. He tells Sash he’s not just trying to save Dan. Sash tells him he brings up good points.

Holly comes up to talk to Fabio and Sash. She’s surprised to hear that Fabio is talking about dumping Dan. She knows he’s full of crap and wants to get rid of her. That’s my girl!

8:44 p.m.: Tribal Council #1

Dan says he lives a nice life and has money and he thinks no one would vote for him. His whole “ploy” is, take me to the end, no one will vote for me to win.

A lot of fingers were pointed at Holly last time and she’s afraid it will be her again. Uh oh! Holly says Dan wants four guys in the final 4.

Holly vs. Dan!

“The lady from North Dakota!” Or South Dakota, as it happens to be.

Brenda whispers to the jury that Chase is “paranoid as hell.” Chase’s mind is always spinning.

The blurry jury!

Jeff says it’s potentially a million dollar mistake to vote the wrong person out.

It’s down to Dan vs. Holly. WHY? Are we assuming Dan and Holly are bigger threats to win than Sash and Chase? I would vote out Chase. He’s a flip-flopper, but he’s a nice guy and a strong presence the entire time.

I’d vote out Chase or Sash, since Sash is the mastermind. Even more than Brenda. But he’s so hated (because of Jane) so maybe the theory is that no one would vote for him. Does he know this?

1. Dan

2. Dan

3. Chase (SMART! Who did this?)

4. Dan

Oooh! Bitter Dan voted for Chase to show how much he hates him. And he’s still mad at Holly for stealing the expensive shoes HE NEVER SHOULD’VE BROUGHT ON SURVIVOR.

Bitter. Bitter. Bitter. But he’s not mad at Fabio. And he doesn’t mention Sash.

Why is Dan so mad at Chase, again? Dan should’ve gone last week, if not several weeks ago. Chase stuck with his alliance (for once) and Dan has no right to be mad. He was never in an alliance with Chase or Holly, as far as I can tell.

No one ever votes the way Fabio wants. If he didn’t have immunity, he’d be gone. He’s just not an influential strategist.

8:55: Final four. Rah. Rah. Rah. They all seem pretty low-key about it.

Fabio knows he needs to win again because he doesn’t know what’s going through Sash and Chase’s minds. So Sash and Chase are in charge. They are the locks to make the final 3.

Sash believes every person left will take him to the end, no matter what. Well, that’s because everyone seems to hate you. You are less of a threat than Non-Entity Dan.

Holly talks to Chase about what they would do if Fabio wins immunity again. Chase thinks Sash will get votes from Purple Kelly and … who?

I’m sick of hearing about Fabio. I know I’m alone on this, but he’s not exactly Russell Hantz. Or Parvati. Or Tom Westman.

This could be a million dollar challenge for Chase. The fact that Chase is a lock for the final 3 — no one going after him, everyone vying for his vote — is a sign that he’s played a better game than anyone is giving him credit for.

I love how they always kiss the asses of the fallen comrades, even if they treated them like crap the whole time they were in the game.

8:58 p.m.: Oh the fallen comrades again. Blah Blah Blah.

Holly is the last of the Espada tribe. She’s also the last woman standing. Love Holly. Love love love Holly. Love her transformation.

I miss Jill. I wish Jill had stepped up more.

Everyone talks about how the social game was such a big deal. Probably this season more than most. There wasn’t even a Russell Hantz in the house. Or a JT Thomas. No one standout. Anyone who got close to standing out (Jimmy Johnson, Marty, Brenda) got knocked down.

I know I’m going to have to see Brenda again on an all-stars season, but I’m not looking forward to it. So. Freaking. Smug.

Wait. NaOnka says she always had a smile and was the smartest person in the game?? Which NaOnka is this?

Benry says they were smart to vote him out because he would’ve kept winning challenges. Except for puzzles. So, of course, the last challenges have been puzzles.

Are they gearing these challenges toward specific players? Like all the balancing and Zen challenges for Parvati on “Heroes vs. Villains” and puzzles for Fabio?

Maybe I’m just cranky about what happens, but Fabio’s “mans” are getting on my nerves. Am I turning into NaOnka?

Nice day for a challenge!

9:11 p.m.: Final Immunity Challenge!

Balancing coins. No one had to physically balance or do a tough physical challenge. The challenges have been lame this season. I miss Palau. But I always miss Palau.

Fabio looks good with his hair pulled back. He almost drops out but makes a nice recovery.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …

Coins are boring.

Holly is out! Dang it!

Chase is out.

Down to Sash vs. Fabio. Again.

This would be more impressive if the challenge were better. What about the blindfold maze that ended HvV? Come on!

That’s it. Fabio wins. Which means Fabio wins.

I do like Fabio's hair like this.

9:22 p.m.: Fabio: “I’m lovin’ this, man!”

He knows everyone is going to make their cases for why he should keep them. I’m tired of Fabio. He’s just going to let it play out he says.

He tells Sash he hasn’t made up his mind. He says he’s got to think about things. Since he was the one who wanted to get rid of Holly, it makes sense for him to continue to want to get rid of Holly.

So Sash is scrambling. Fabio just ruined his plans. Fabio is looking smug.

Sash thinks Brenda will vote for Chase. He thinks Purple Kelly for Chase.

I think Brenda is for Fabio.

Sash! He tells Fabio, you’re “my best friend in the game.” He says he never would’ve voted out Fabio. Fabio smiles. He knows it’s bull.

It’s not rocket science that Holly/Sash/Chase are an alliance, although this ep is trying to make Fabio seem like Sherlock Holmes for cracking the code.

Fabio tells Chase. Chase is upset with Sash for going against him. Sash will say whatever it takes to get through the game. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

Fabio thinks the cockroaches are scrambling. This edit is trying to make Fabio seem bright when it’s been obvious for a while that Sash, Holly and Chase have been a unit.

Fabio says Sash and Chase have lied to him the whole time. Holly is the only one who hasn’t lied or done anything to him. So is that why she has to go?

I’m so done with this season. This ep is trying to make Fabio seem like a strategist when he should’ve known the lay of the land before this moment. It’s not a bad thing to scramble or say anything to win. That’s what a survivor does.

I’d vote for Holly to win. So I’d have to vote Holly out at this point.

Who cares who would've taken Fabio to the final 3?

9:33 p.m.: Tribal Council #2

Fabio keeps smiling. He can’t hold it in. The jury adores him. I think that’s what bugs me. The Fabio WORSHIP out there.

Why is Fabio so proud of realizing Sash and Chase never would’ve taken him to the end?

Sash has had alliances with everyone. He finally admits he’s made deals with two groups to take them to the end.

There’s nothing wrong with that, in my eyes. But this jury seems to think actually playing “Survivor” is a HORRIBLE thing to do. Unheard of!

I bet Russell Hantz is rooting for Sash.

Jeff gives Holly, Chase and Sash an opportunity to make a last pitch to Fabio. Don’t bother. Sash says he’s been honest with Fabio.

So they are making Fabio seem like he’s totally in control. He’s the only one who gets to vote? No. So why don’t they get to make pitches to each other?

Holly was honest with him. … And he burns her for it. Nice.

1. Sash

2. Holly

3. Holly

4. Holly

So why did everyone act like it was all up to Fabio? He was only one vote. Stop selling me Fabio, CBS!

9:45 p.m.: Fabio says it took him 38 says to get into a power position. But there were four votes cast. It took more than Fabio’s vote to get out Holly. So why are they kissing his ass?

Fabio knows the jury will be receptive to what he has to say. WHY? Sash shouldn’t have to feel bad for wheeling and dealing. He did play the best strategic game.

So this final 3 doesn’t really like each other.

Sash calls Fabio and Chase his “wing men.” Fabio says Sash can take a back seat and take notes on how this is going to go.

So … Fabio gets a little power and it goes straight to his head. The smugness. Just because his journey ends well doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten how it began.

This is probably the most important day of Fabio’s life, he says. The edit is handing this to him, in total.

They get food and champagne and pancakes and stuff.

Do they have to burn the camp? Can't they let it stand?

Chase keeps telling Fabio he thinks he’s going to win. This is so frustrating. Everyone in this game has short, bitter memories. Fabio is confident and proud, as if he hasn’t been clueless for 90 percent of this game. I’m sickened.

9:51 p.m.: Chase says he’s had more of a relationship with the people on the island than Fabio. And he thinks he played a better game than Sash. He was targeted as a physical threat from the beginning but still made it to the end. That’s exactly why I picked him as my second to win, after Sash. Big, strong, game. Complicated, sure, but all good games are. I hate when they coast, ala Fabio, who is so proud to have finally woken up.

9:53 p.m.: FINAL TRIBAL COUNCIL!

Chase gets to speak first. It’s been an honor to play and he invites the questions. He knows he’s pissed off some people.

How many hours do you think Brenda spent brushing her hair to prep for final tribal?

Fabio says they’ve had some good times. His strategy was to be himself and stay in the clear. In the end he knew he had to step up and win. He played a stand-up game. He thinks he deserves a million dollars and he would have a lot of fun with it. He laughs and the jury laughs LIKE THERE’S A LAUGH TRACK. Dammit. I hate this kid and the jury that loves him.

Sash seems too smart in his jury speech. Juries hate that, ala Stephen Fishbach over JT Thomas. Sash says the friendships he formed he takes more seriously than the alliances. The alliances were part of the game. He makes a respectful argument. Not arrogant or self-absorbed, ala Russell Hantz … or Fabio, for that matter.

9:58 p.m.: JURY QUESTIONS

Brenda is up first. She’s really proud of them. She enjoyed playing with Sash. Making alliances and breaking them and asking for votes … she doesn’t think that’s smart. But didn’t she turn on people a lot, too? It’s part of the game. She calls Chase “my snuggle buddy.” She had an emotional attachment to him. It was “shocking” how easy it was for him to vote her out, she says. He says first thing he heard of her vote, he came to her. Which is true. He tried to save her. She didn’t scramble. Sash says he thinks Chase could’ve stepped up more. Sash could’ve handed out the idol. She doesn’t even talk to Fabio?

Marty is next. There’s good reasons why they are there and he isn’t. He wants to play something out with Chase. There’s going to be a “dumber than a bag of hammers” award. Who would it go to? Marty is not eligible but it can go to anyone on the jury or the final 3. Chase calls it a BS question. He wouldn’t pick anyone but Marty. Marty says Sash is a cerebral player. Marty calls Fabio “dude” and he thinks Fabio has changed the most as a person and a player. OK.

Holly asks Chase what he considers his best strategical move that he made on his own. He said his initial move to vote Shannon out. It allowed him to vote with people he could trust. Does Fabio think winning the last immunity challenge was too little too late. Fabio laughs and says it was the best timing possible. Did Sash ever lie to Holly. Sash says yes he did. They both made a commitment that they would never write each other’s names down. At the end they both had to write each other’s names down. Holly says she truly respects them and she had a great time.

Jane! Jane says someone must’ve raised Sash good to be a “New York City river rat.” He can go back to the gutter. Fabio laughs like this wasn’t incredibly rude and out of nowhere. Hunt the Cure was started by Chase’s brother. If he wins, $100,000 is going to that charity to help cure cancer. He’ll also take care of his mom. Fabio puts his hand up, that he wants to take care of his mom and dad as well. Jane doesn’t even ask Fabio anything.

Benry says he’s heard everything he needs from Chase. He congratulates Fabio on back-to-back-to-back immunity wins. Benry says he was able to see through Sash’s fake smile. What did Benry do wrong that Sash could see? He asks for Sash’s assessment. That tells me that Sash is seen as the best.

BITTER ASS JURY

Dan says Sash is a liar and a phony. He calls him “spineless” and he hates that smile. He wants him to fix his eye wink. Dan is an ass. Dan calls Chase the most paranoid player in the game. As if Dan has a right to say a goddamn thing. Chase let Dan down. Chase: “This is Survivor, Dan.” Dan: “Beauty fades. Dumb is forever.”

AND YOU JUST PROVED IT, YOU ASS!

Purple Kelly. Sash gets 60 seconds to explain how he outwitted everyone. Sash thinks he should’ve been voted out at the merge. He’s getting feedback that he hurt too many people. Kelly likes his honesty. That was it? She didn’t talk to anyone else?

No one is even asking Fabio anything.

NaOnka says Chase was her boy. Fabio was her friend. Sash was the strategic player. NaOnka asks Fabio if seeing his mom was gasoline to fuel him to go on. Fabio chokes up. “Yeah, man. It got me to the end.” Oh Lord.

Why is everyone crying over that?

Alina says Fabio is the ultimate surfer boy and she loves that, but she doesn’t want to give a million dollars to a boy. She wants to give it to a man. Nice! She wants Sash to convince her that he deserves to win over the other guys. Sash says Fabio didn’t know what was going on most of the time. (True! Like the Benry vote where he voted for Holly.) Alina is pleasantly surprised by Chase tonight. Chase says everyone called him wishy-washy but it was him finding himself a way out.

This is all just reinforcing my personal ranking:

1. Sash

2. Chase

3. Fabio

Fabio tells Alina he got through the game without backstabbing anyone and that’s hard. Chase says he got there because he didn’t know what the hell was going on. He won three immunities in a row, but “This isn’t the NBA finals.” NICE ONE, CHASE! It’s outwit, outplay, outlast.

Why does everyone credit Fabio with getting them to the final 3? It was not his decision alone.

10:18 p.m.: THE JURY VOTES FOR A WINNER!

Purple Kelly is first. She is a quitter and her vote should note count.

Marty calls Chase the dumbest player to ever play this game and Sash is a weasel. Marty gushes over Fabio, saying he loves his game and believes everything he said. Vomit. Vote for Fabio.

Alina says Chase impressed her tonight. He came in there like no one she had seen before. He had his game face on. True.Vote for Chase.

Dan votes for Fabio, which proves my point about the entire season.

Brenda makes a meal out of her vote. She finally reveals it to be Chase! Yay!”I hope that you win and I am really proud of you. Congratulations.” Nice! Chase did make a very good argument for himself.

Chase, Fabio and Sash at the live finale. Guess we can't call him Fabio without the hair, though.

10:21 p.m.: LIVE  FINALE

Fabio cut his hair. Chase and Sash look handsome.

1. Fabio

2. Chase

3. Fabio

4. Chase

5. Chase

6. Fabio

7. Fabio

Was 8 for Chase? Anyway, they are tied now! Four votes Chase, four votes Fabio, none for Sash.

I miss his hair. He looks like Voldemort here. I wanted Sash or Chase. Oh well.

The winner of Survivor: Nicaragua: Fabio.

That was closer than the spoilers led us to believe. But Sash was still ROBBED.

10:28 p.m.: What are the odds. Everyone loves Fabio. Blah.

Fabio says his mom gets asked why did she name her son Fabio. Ha.

Now Fabio is pretending he played the goofball. He played himself, which means he is a goofball. Remember buying how Marty is a chess master?

So sick of The Fabio Show.

Shut this kid up. He’s not a mastermind. The audience adores him, though.

He’s the youngest winner ever, though. That’s cool He’s 21. He wants to start a production company, connect our dots around the world and undermind the government via communications and art.

Natalie White and Sandra Diaz-Twine never got to babble this much. God. I want to know who voted for whom.

Beautiful Brenda admits she tried to get rid of Sash and that's a good reason why Sash didn't save her.

Jeff asks Chase about the Brenda thing. It was a showmance. They were just friends. Brenda looks beautiful. All the girls are dressed up.

Brenda admits that she had planned to get rid of Sash. She told NaOnka and NaOnka told Sash. But she was still hoping to get the idol from Sash? Duh.

Jeff kept telling Sash he would be the first voted out. But he made the finals. And he SHOULD’VE WON!

Chase cares about music. “Survivor” hasn’t really helped him. He lives in Nashville now.

Chase gets to play guitar in front of everyone. Fabio is in a band too, you know. But he plays drums.

10:43 p.m.: Jimmy Johnson’s turn to babble. Other than football, “Survivor” is his favorite show. He tried to get on this show 6 or 7 years ago. Do you think they cast Fabio? A model living in the L.A. area? Seems like it to me. I hate when they cast for people instead of letting regular folks audition.

Survivor saved Jimmy’s life? It got him healthy. He applied again so he could be on the show and be eliminated pretty fast.

Quick shot of The Dragon Slayer. I bet he loved Fabio.

Did you see Coach Ben Wade in the audience? I love Coach. I do.

Enough about Jimmy Johnson and football. I want to know who voted for whom. I want to know about Season 22. I want to hear more from my girl Holly. I want Jane to talk about the Sash incident. Did he bribe her? Air it out!

According to Wikipedia, Holly, Jane, Brenda and Alina voted for Chase. Dan, Benry, Purple Kelly, NaOnka and Marty voted for Fabio. I wish they had just asked for a show of hands at the reunion, ’cause I don’t know if I trust this intel. If true, it’s all the more reason why quitters should not have votes on the jury.

Jesus, Dan is tan.

Holly looks gorgeous.

Holly bought Dan ostrich boots.

Don't reward Dan for anything he did on this show.

Jeff: “How rich are you?” (Not half as rich as you, Probst!)

Dan doesn’t want to say anything in case the IRS is watching!

10:54 p.m.: Time to talk to Jane.

Jeff is pushing her likability. Is she really that well liked? I liked her best at first, then switched my love to Holly.

Jane is bitter and was unnecessarily mean to both Marty and Sash. She was waaayyyy too personal in her attacks on both men.

10:56 p.m.: NaOnka. Jeff says it wouldn’t be a great season of “Survivor” without a great villain. It wasn’t a great season.

The quitters should not get much airtime.

NaOnka pretends she only knocked Kelly Bruno down as another competitor. But she focused on her artificial leg THE WHOLE TIME. She talked about it as if she hated Kelly for having a faux leg.

Here's Sash meeting Russell Hantz before the live finale. I bet they had a lot to talk about.

NaOnka has been getting heat from parents at the schools she works at. She thinks that’s ridiculous because people shouldn’t be judged in their personal lives based on how they play a game on a TV show. I think she should be judged on how delusional she is, and how she quit the second things went wrong.

Jeff talks to NaOnka’s mom. Mom says she is a little bit like NaOnka. She’s the good girl, though.

YAY! New rule will help keep quitters off the jury!

Did you see Boston Rob sitting behind Jeff as Jeff talked about the Sprint Player of the Season being named next? Not a coincidence…

11:07 p.m.: SPRINT PLAYER OF THE SEASON

Jeff says this person won the most votes ever. It wasn’t even close.

“It was a blowout” for …  Jane? $100,000. So she threw Sash under the bus for nothing. She makes $50,000 a year??? That’s a lot!!!

Shannon was calling a duck a duck. Ugh. Jeff stops Shannon. Shannon met Sash’s girlfriend? What? This isn’t making sense and Jeff cuts it off.

Wendy does have an annoying voice. Her husband was right about her.

Jimmy T.! He won’t not be heard. He tried too hard and played with this heart.

Alina was always laughing and smiling? She was a good jury member, I have to say.

Segue into how they are all part of the “Survivor” family. Boston Rob in the audience. Rob and Amber just had their second baby, Carina Rose Mariano, born Dec. 10.

Ambah! She’s a “Survivor.” “She just got it done.”

Amber is the one who actually won — deserved or not. (And we all know it’s “not.”) She needs to stop having babies so she can come back and try to earn her legacy.

11:15 p.m.: SEASON 22 TEASER

They have a twist that will change the game.

This time when someone is voted out, they will not go home. They will be forced to live on “Redemption Island.” Next voted out will go there too. Then there’s a head-to-head duel. The only way to stay alive is to win. One person will survive long enough to re-enter the game.

Whuh?

It’s like the Outcasts twist meets Exile Island meets “Hunger Games.”

“Survivor: Redemption Island” starts in February.

Jeff calls on Cirie and Rupert in the audience. Are they going to be on the show? Will Rob and Russell be on the show or was that rumor just a rumor?

Catch up on my “Survivor” stories and spoilers here in this nifty archive. See you in February!

(P.S. I almost never do anything interesting on Twitter, but you can follow me there anyway, if you feel like it. No pressure. Like I said, I don’t do much. Thanks!)

Some good genes in this family.

Are you up to date on the “Survivor: Nicaragua” spoilers boot list?

Are you suitably confused by the rash of bad decisions made by EVERYONE on “This is Going to Hurt”?

Have you checked out the controversy between Sash and Jane and the (alleged) bribery that leads to no one voting for Sash in the final 3?

Great.

I love the affection between Dan and his son. I just wish Dan showed half as much heart about anything else in the game.

Now it’s time to figure out how we ended up with 21-year-old surfer boy Judson “Jud/Fabio/Jud the Stud” Birza as the winner .

I like the kid. I do. He’s likable. Goofy-hot. And so under the radar it’s fitting that he’s (sort of) in an alliance with Dan. Two people who just kind of showed up every three days.

Fabio proves week after week that he’s no “Survivor” strategist, but that kind of big-game play rarely wins anyone the title of Sole Survivor. In fact, as people on the Survivor Sucks message boards have been pointing out, it’s now almost impossible to win “Survivor” as a big-game player.

As Coldnights wrote: This is the season where “the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.”

As such, Fabio’s strategy to “be cool” was perfect. It’s depressing for me as a fan of the “Survivor” players who dare to … uh … stick up their nails (hello!), but it fits this point of time, 21 seasons into the franchise.

I’m frustrated by the Fabio win, but I’m more frustrated with the season in general.

Staying under the radar long enough to go on a late-in-the-game immunity run is a fair win. Remember when Brett “the prayer warrior” almost won “Samoa” because of the same thing? I was actually happy for Natalie White to win “Samoa” because she went against “Hurricane Katrina survivor” Russell Hantz. In hindsight, I know Russell deserved to win. But in hindsight, will anyone have deserved to win “Nicaragua”?

To be fair, Fabio was a strong immunity threat (ala Benry) without being targeted as a strong immunity threat. He was a strong social threat (ala Jane) without being targeted as such. He wasn’t a terribly strong strategist, but he outplayed and outlasted the others.

Let’s hear some arguments for and against Fabio — and for #2 Chase and #3 Sash — from the Sucks board and Rob’s podcast:

*** FAN ARGUMENTS FOR WHO SHOULD AND SHOULDN’T WIN ***

I doubt my teeth would look this good after 30-some-odd days, but ... then again ... I wouldn't be drinking so much coffee, so maybe they would be better off on an island. But without caffeine, I would get The Headache and turn into a monster. I'd probably turn into NaOnka.

birdlady wrote:

… It is very interesting that that [Fabio] hasn’t been identified at all as an immunity threat, by the other players or even by alpha-loving Probst. Not just the individual immunities he wins, but all the team challenges and all the individual challenges where he was second. It should have been in everyone’s interest to expel him right away at the merge. He’s done a pretty nice job of beating people, but somehow leaving them so they barely notice. Until it comes up at jury, no doubt.

Buddha DeCat wrote:

That is exactly why I think he has a good strategy. He has everyone there thinking he is stupid and no threat despite his actual performances at challenges. The Benry vote was part luck for Fabio, but the decision to vote Benry instead of him was specifically because everyone else dismissed him as not a threat — Sash said as much in the last episode. I just rewatched Fabio’s pre-game interview and he lays out his strategy exactly as he’s played it. Additionally, in this season, which has been described perfectly by someone else here as “the nail that sticks up gets hammered down,” Fabio’s strategy was perfect.

Coldnights wrote:

Yeah I said that, to elaborate:

Shannon- conspired to get rid of Brenda, ends up getting himself ousted.
Jimmy J. -obvious nail by any stretch of the imagination, gets ousted by Marty
Jimmy T. -tries to take charge and puts a target right on his back, ousted.
Tyrone – throws his weight around camp at the new Le Fleur (or however it is spelled), tells the youngins the rules, ousted
Alina – tries to create a pre-merge Le Fleur alliance, gets ousted
Marty – makes himself a target by running his mouth too much, tries too hard to play strategically, ousted
Brenda – viewed as the ringleader of the Marty ousting, ousted
Benry – scrambles like mad while Fabio lies low, trying to organize a blindside of his ally, ousted

Granted that is not everyone, and not everyone was a “nail”, and two people quit, throwing a monkey-wrench right into the game’s mechanics.   Once you get to the final five the game dynamics change significantly, but this season was perhaps the most paranoid ever, and anyone that tried to make a strategic move of significance was hammered out of the game.  Fabio did well, keeping his head low in the foxhole, and keeping others from thinking he was an obvious target.  Others, not so much.

Yeaster wrote:

I think it’s kind of lol that people spent all year criticizing Natalie winning and all summer pretending as Sandra was an INV borewhore who did nothing to win, but will be happy with Jud victory did even less than they did.

[/quote]Missyae has spoiled that Chase and Sash get a rough ride at FTC and Jane has poisoned the jury against Sash and that the jurors were happy with underdog good guy Fabio winning his way to the F3. So Fabio will win easily. The edit has certainly confirmed this as well.[/quote]

What the edit “confirmed” is Chase is for sure going to lose, and that Jud is a clueless player (like he’s been all season along). There has been no concrete proof that Sash bribed Kelly or Jane. Not to offend anyone, but I feel that people are almost grasping at straws and pulling any thin justifications they can find when it comes to Sash’s “slimy” and “sleazy” game, because the show itself has shown no evidence of these claims (or any other “slimy” behavior from Sash). Sash has, at worst, been portrayed as cold and socially awkward (and arrogant in his confessionals). Other than that, he seemed pretty mature, level-headed and well liked. I suppose the finale will explain why he is so despised by the jury, but at this point, it doesn’t make a lot of sense :\

This cast has been so focused on strategy up until now, so to reward the least-strategic winner is….well, strange. If the show was trying to setup a Jud victory all along, then they dropped the ball BIG time.

From Rob Cesternino’s podcast comments:

Leslie:

Chase either has a crappy game or a great … I am going to argue great game … as the strongest physical player he is being ignored as a threat because he is so wishy-washy … they call it “playing from his heart” and they forgive him because he is so real about that. Jane actually hates Chase the least …. Everyone has been touched by Chase … Hey even Nasty NaOnka gave Chase her idol1 I am betting that if he makes to the end, he could win it all … because he is so real … Fabio has consistently been stupid … playing dumb and making bad decisions … is dumb.

*** MY CHOICE(S) TO WIN ***

Aww! I love Holly and Charlie. I don't care that she backstabbed Wendy, attacked Dan's expensive shoes and wanted to quit.

As an armchair quarterback watching a heavily edited TV show, I am rooting for … well, Holly.

She’s had the most amazing “journey” on the show and I love a good “journey.” (It’s the “Bachelor” fan in me.) She started out as a backstabbing shoe thief who wanted to quit. Now she’s counseling young women “as a mom” when it comes to stealing and quitting. She masterminded the Brenda elimination. And she gave up her reward for the tribe. I’m impressed with her transformation and, more importantly, just about everyone seems to be buying it. Except, maybe, after this last episode. Jane went off on Holly and maybe the jury is impressionable. They seem to be, based on the Sash controversy…

Has anyone else transformed? I know Fabio cries in the final tribal council about how much he’s grown up out there, but when did that happen? He just sobbed in front of his (gorgeous and way young) mother and she had to convince him to keep his head in the game.

1. Since Holly doesn’t make the final 3, I think I would vote for Sash to win.

I don’t even care if he did bribe Jane. Go for it. (I don’t care that it’s against the rules. Quitters getting votes on the jury should be against the rules too. Change the rules.) And what’s this nonsense about “brainwashing” Purple Kelly to do what he wants? Convincing people to do what you want is the sign of a good player. Is this season really so sad that even that is considered off limits? Sash started out in control of the game and got through the tribal swap and the merge without really losing control. He managed to outlast the swing vote position, unlike Brenda. The idol that Marty gave him certainly helped. He played a good, strong, manipulative game. He can come off as smarmy and insincere — and I know at this point the social game is key — but he wasn’t nasty to anyone like Russell Hantz. The decision this week to vote out Jane instead of Dan is probably the biggest thing that will cost him the game, because it turned Jane into an even more bitter person. He could’ve saved himself that trouble by just writing “Dan.” And he can’t blame the move on Chase because Chase wanted to vote out Dan. It was Sash and Holly’s (bad) call to go with Jane.

2. Chase would be my second choice to win, after Sash.

Chase has been a huge physical threat from day 1 — remember his alpha male alliance with Shannon? — without ever being targeted. He was well liked and trusted through most of the game, but not so stupid that he didn’t know when to jump ship on people like Brenda and Benry. Yes, he’s wishy-washy and a flip-flopper, but he must’ve done something right to get an idol from the nastiest person on the island (NaOnka!) because he was her boy. He was also the one who led the Benry vote, convincing Sash to join his alliance over Benry’s even though Chase didn’t bring Sash onto reward, as he promised. Chase’s reward blunders are probably what loses him the game. People have short memories. Then again, was it such a blunder to not take Fabio on reward? Chase never should’ve told Fabio he’d take him, but not taking Fabio is smart. Fabio is the youngest and pretty strong. Keeping him away from food is a good idea. Chase wanted to vote out Dan — which would’ve been the smart move — but went with his alliance to vote out Jane. Sometimes you have to make those kinds of compromises when you’re in an alliance. (Which is why Fabio is actually lucky/smart to be alliance-free at the end.) Jane can get as mad as she needs to, but Chase had to go with his numbers. That’s the argument he should make at final tribal. No apologies, just the truth.

*** WHO SHOULD BE PLAYER OF THE SEASON? ***

This is tough, since the season was such a miss. Potential big-game players were targeted before they could get too far.

I think I like Holly for this, because of the journey I mentioned. I’m proud of her and completely disgusted with her bitter reception at Ponderosa. Jane needs to grow up — stat. I could also go for Marty or Brenda. Looking back on this season, Brenda’s beauty and intelligence will probably be remembered more than, say, Chase’s wishy-washy behavior or Sash’s dirt rat behavior. As much as I like Fabio, I don’t want him to win fan favorite. If this were “The Bachelorette,” I might pick him in the end. But this is “Survivor.” He didn’t play a particularly memorable game. Holly did. There. She’s my vote.

Catch up on my “Survivor” stories in this nifty archive.

"Project Runway" Season 4 was the best. Yes? No? Maybe?

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

I don’t have the answer. I’m asking. (Update: I finally do have the answers! Season 9 premieres Wednesday, July 27 . Except, no! A new poster says they are sticking with Thursday episodes, with the premiere on Thursday, July 28. Why are they being so annoying about it?)

I get irritable when “Project Runway” is off the air. I need a constant fix. Just set up an IV. “The Fashion Show” is not cutting it. Most of the folks on that show are drama queens, with Eduardo as the one major talent.

I keep checking Blogging Project Runway and they are good about giving updates on past PR contestants, but there’s nothing (that I’ve seen) on “Project Runway” Season 9. There’s a lot on Tim Gunn and the judges at this or that event, which tells me it’s going to be a while before the show comes back.

**JANUARY 2011 UPDATE** According to this short video of Heidi, they haven’t started filming Season 9 yet. “We always film in June and July,” she says while signing autographs. So it sounds like it’s going to a A LONG TIME before we see it. **END UPDATE**

**MARCH 2011 UPDATE** “Project Runway” Season 9 is now casting! According to Blogging Project Runway,Application deadline is April 15th and auditions will begin in late April.” Here’s the pdf link for the application: http://www.bunim-murray.com/PR9Application.pdf.

This poster says Thursdays, with the premiere on July 28. So I guess we're blowing off the original Wednesday premiere announcement.

**MAY 2011 UPDATE** Lifetime just released its 2011-2012 programming slate and noted “Project Runway to Return for Ninth Season in Summer 2011.” No set date yet, but that’s a good sign. There are also details in the press release about the “Project Runway All-Stars” season.

**JUNE 2011 UPDATE** Big news! The premiere will be Wednesday, July 27 at 9 p.m. Yes, it’s Wednesday. Here’s more from the press release. BUT WAIT! The new Heidi Klum poster says the premiere will be Thursday, July 28! So WTF? Guess they are sticking with Thursdays after all.

Hurry up!

And for anyone who is still swearing off the show after the Mondo Guerra/Gretchen Jones disaster of Season 8 — child, please. We wouldn’t even know the name Mondo Guerra without “Project Runway.” I can’t wait to meet the new designers — even if only one or two of them have any real talent.

Catch up on my “Project Runway” stories here in this nifty archive.

The Fabios of 2010

Sometimes it’s The Year of the Dragon. Other times it’s The Year of the Snake, Rat, Rooster, etc. This is The Year of the Fabio.

Let’s review:

Jud “Fabio” Birza, 21 or 22, just saved his own tush on “Survivor: Nicaragua.” (Can’t wait till Sunday’s finale to know how he does? Find out if he’s the winner or the next boot on the spoilers boot list here.) His hot mom just told us his hometown nickname was “Jud the Stud.” This crop of “Survivor” tools dubbed him “Fabio” because of his hair, but, really, “Coach” Ben Wade is the one who really looks like Fabio. Judson/Fabio is a cute Venice Beach, California surfer boy and drummer in the band Space Funk Odyssey. He’s also a model and apparently studying Chinese. He probably isn’t as dumb as he likes to play off, but he had no idea what was happening last week … which matches him perfectly to this season of ditzes. (Russell Hantz, I never thought I’d miss you, but…)

Fabio Viviani, 32, was voted fan favorite on “Top Chef” Season 5. He came in fourth, but was popular enough to bring back on the current “Top Chef” all-stars Season 8. He’s a charming Italian character who has no problem talking back to the judges … when he’s not shamelessly making eyes at Padma. Love him. Having said that, I still love Stefan Richter more.

Fabio Lanzoni, 51, is the Italian fashion model we know and love just as Fabio. I don’t even remember how I knew who he was before the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” commercials, but he has a new Toyota commercial putting him back on the public radar. Good for him. Check out the Official Fabio International Fan Club.

Is the shot going to stay black and white? Is that a stupid question? I'm asking anyway.

So Ann Ward won “America’s Next Top Model” cycle 15 over Chelsey Hersley, my girl Kayla Ferrel and some other people I’ve already forgotten.

Normally I stop caring at this point, but I just Googled Ann Ward and Vogue Italia to see what the heck she’s doing next. They made such a fuss over her before the cycle started and Tyra Banks seems to think she’s going to be A Big Deal.

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Here’s a blurb from Tyra from Vogue Italia, paired with a shot of “The model Ann Ward, photo by Vincent Peters, an exclusive preview of the cover shoot Beauty in Vogue May 2011″:

“America’s Next Top Model is a competition that celebrates the various types of beauty in women. Watching Ann realize that she is uniquely beautiful standing tall at 6’2 is one of the reasons I make it a point to choose contestants that the audience can relate to. Women should understand that there is no such thing as standard beauty. Ann found her beauty in her height and took all the years of bullying she endured and turned that energy into a strong work ethic that led her to be the winner of America’s Next Top Model.”

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Congrats to Ann, but I don’t relate to her. I relate to the idea of awkwardness and shyness and overcoming bullying, but not being a 6’2″ skinny model. I am worried about how Ann will do in the industry without Tyra and company behind her. She still seems awkward and insecure and in The Real World people won’t be rooting for her quite as hard as they did this past season. Maybe they will at first, because of the show, but she’s going to have to cowboy up fast.

Catch up on my ANTM stories in this archive. Or not. Up to you.

Hell hath no fury like a dog trainer terrifically pissed off.

Jane: “My alliance have turned on me.”

Don’t worry, dear. Unless they turn 180 degrees, they’re all still facing the wrong direction. What was it Mr. Farty Marty called Chase? Dumb as a bag of hammers? That bag needs room for two more members this week.

Jane Bright is proud of the way she played “Survivor: Nicaragua.” Stealing stuff, making fish behind people’s backs, getting outraged over just about everything. When her dumbass alliance of Chase/Holly/Sash announced in front of her that they would be voting her out on “This is Going to Hurt,” she unleashed “the wrath of Jane.”

Fabio — aka “Jud the Stud” — won immunity right when he needed to and apparently EVERYONE except for Dan’s son has forgotten that Dan still exists.

So instead of voting out Dan, which would’ve been an easy call salvaging the Chase/Holly/Sash/Jane majority, Jane ended up going home — damaging the reputations of her alliance members in front of the jury in the process.

Can we credit Fabio? He wanted Jane gone, which of course makes sense for him. Fabio said if Chase doesn’t vote out Jane it could go down as his worst decision. First of all, that list is way too long at this point. Second, Chase should vote out Jane AFTER Dan.

By the way, Jeff Probst, stop strategizing for the players at tribal council. Yes, they are dumb as a bag of hammers, but that doesn’t mean you and your impression of your own mom need to jump in and do the work for them.

Both Sash and Chase played their idols, but they didn’t need to. No one went after them. They went after Jane. Who, again, was on their side. They didn’t even have the sense to blindside her. They let her trash them. In front of the jury. After dousing the fire. They now have no fire because they told an emotionally unstable woman their plans to backstab her.

Dumb.

I’m disappointed in my girl Holly. All she’s doing is giving Chase and Sash rope to hang themselves, but Jane targeted Holly more than anyone else. This was not well played.

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS RECAP

Has anyone ever screwed up a good thing faster than Chase? It's like he can't stop himself from losing this win.

Holly: “What the f–k is wrong with Chase?”

They call him Flipper! Flipper! Faster than lightning!

Seriously. It’s like a compulsion. Chase got the whole intro, which made him seem like “a portrait of indecision,” but also the one running the camp. Everyone — including Chase — thinks Chase is flighty, but how can that be the case when he’s in charge and no one is even trying to get rid of him?

On the flip side, I’m tired of hearing from everyone — including Fabio — that Fabio isn’t that stupid. Fabio started the episode by insisting that everyone is underestimating him, but if that was the case then why did he vote Holly last week when everyone else voted either Benry or Fabio? He had no idea. Pure dumb luck that he’s still around and scrambling Benry is gone.

Some people think Benry was voted out because he scrambled, but Brenda was eliminated because she didn’t scramble. It had nothing to do with them and more to do with what the other survivors wanted. Holly convinced everyone to get rid of Brenda. Chase convinced everyone to get rid of Benry. It was that simple.

Yes, Jud the Stud is young and strong and sharp enough to win immunity challenges, but he remains strategically challenged. Why the hell didn’t Jud and Dan cover their asses by trying to win over Jane? They could’ve tried to vote out Holly. At least force a tie and forge an attempt at a new alliance. Sash and Chase had to play their idols and they would be totally exposed next time.

FAMILY TIME

And now a special gratuitous plug from Chase Rice: “Something as simple as a Sprint cell phone can bring you to tears.”

It was nice to actually see Dan is alive and well on the island. He cried over his son, which is about as much as we’ve seen him do all season. (Except get mad at Holly and NaOnka for stealing.)

I'm allowed to drool. He's legal.

Jud’s mom is hot. Dang. So that’s where he gets his model genes. I’m jealous. Mom Ann (or Anne) informs us that Jud used to be called “Jud the Stud.” Fabio is better. Unless he cuts his hair.

Jud/Fabio wants to go on the family visit reward with Sash and Chase. Chase agrees to it, but if a breath of wind passes him he’ll probably change his mind. That’s Chase’s downfall.

I love watching loved ones run through the forest into the arms of their “Survivor” players. It always makes me want to roll my eyes about how emotional they get after less than 40 days, but I do understand emotions are heightened out there.

Sash’s mom is hot too! What’s in the water? There should be a “Survivor” season just with the hot moms. Why is everyone blonde?

Jane’s daughter is cute too. It’s Jane and her daughter against the world. Sweet.

Holly’s hubby seems like an adorable teddy bear guy. They missed their 25th wedding anniversary for her to be out there. Aww! Holly is still my favorite at this point. I appreciate her journey.

Loved ones have to participate in the reward challenge. More tiles! Enough with the tiles, I say. They have to form a phrase, like “Wheel of Fortune” without the wheel.

Fabio is a stud. Hate to say it, since he’s only 21 or 22. But there it is.

Chase’s mom gets “Family comes first.” Chase gets reward, which means …

COUNTDOWN TO CHASE SCREWING UP THE REWARD CHALLENGE AGAIN

Screw up in 5, 4, 3, 2 …

Chase can pick one Survivor and their loved one…

He picks Sash. Actually, that’s fair. And it’s true, Sash hasn’t been on a reward in a while.

OH NO! HE HAS ANOTHER CHANCE TO SCREW IT UP!

Nice one, Flipper!

Chase gets to pick a second person. He picks Holly. And there it is.

Way to go, Chase! Way to tell Fabio he would go with you and then take it back. Fabio cries and Mommy has to “shhh” him. Poor Fabio. His mom must live in Missouri. He’s in Venice, California. So just fly home when you win your money!

BITTER, PARTY OF 3

Dan and Fabio wonder WTF is up with Chase flip-flopping. Fabio and Chase both love their mamas (like Colby in Australia!)

Fabio: “He straight up lied to me.”

Oh it does not pay to win rewards, that’s for sure. Now Jane is pissed at Chase, too. They all wanted to go on reward.

Jane feels like the odd one out of a 4-person alliance, since Chase, Holly and Sash are all on reward.

So now it’s pretty clear that Chase Cannot Win This Season, no matter what. Maybe Holly would vote for him, and NaOnka, since she’s allowed on the jury (although quitters should NOT be allowed on the jury), but that’s probably it.

On reward, Chase says he could’ve made a more strategic choice, but he wants to keep Holly close. They want to get rid of Fabio, since he could ruin their plans. Fabio and Dan are the only remnants of their Marty/Benry/Dan/Fabio alliance.

This plan is OK as long as they do get rid of Fabio. But Fabio is young and strong and that’s a threat to win challenges…

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Chase comes back from reward. Fabio asks how it was. It was a rhetorical question. Because he knew it was great. Fabio launches into Chase immediately.

Jud says he sees his mom twice a year. That’s not Chase’s fault. Move closer to her.

Jud says the best thing he can do is try to win immunity. Yes, that would help.

It’s a blindfold challenge. They go over and under rails. Using sense of touch they have to memorize symbols and use the same symbols to create a shield. What happened to the water challenges? Is there something wrong with the water? I miss Palau.

Fabio had a quick lead with Chase right behind. I think we’re going to need to get used to hearing that.

Funny how the people who really need to win immunity manage to step up and get it. Survivors are good at energy management.

Chase spent too long studying the symbols. But it’s Fabio vs. Chase, as usual.

Fabio does not have it… but he tries again and … WINS IMMUNITY!

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Jeff: “When you need it, you get it.” That’s what I said! Oh Jeff. You old soul mate, you.

SO NOW WHO GOES HOME?

Aww, sweet! Funny how Dan says he's exhausted AFTER DOING F--K ALL FOR THE WHOLE SEASON.

If not Fabio … shouldn’t it be Dan? He’s the only other alliance member left. But Dan is such a non-entity, maybe they can’t even see him anymore.

Fabio wants to vote off Jane tonight and Dan tomorrow. Not that they vote out a person tomorrow.

Chase wants Jane to stick around. Fabio says if Chase doesn’t vote out Jane it could go down as his worst decision.

Not likely! That list is growing too long.

Besides, Jane is in Chase’s alliance. Fabio has a vested interest in dumping Jane. Scratch that, in getting CHASE to dump Jane, thereby getting rid of the threat of a feisty old lady and making it Chase/Sash/Holly’s fault.

Jud the Stud was not in her alliance, so she wouldn’t blame him.

JUST VOTE OUT DAN, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!

Voting out Jane would be a big mistake. Jane wants to vote out Dan. That actually makes sense, so of course it won’t be done.

Jane gives Chase the hairy eyeball. She knows. She knows!

Chase/Holly/Sash have the Jane discussion in front of Jane. IDIOTS.

Jane: “My alliance have turned on me.”

So she WENT OFF on them in front of the jury.

Fabio is being handed this game. Even if he keeps winning the last immunities, I can’t say that I’m going to be satisfied if he wins. Holly was my favorite and now I am favorite-less. Fabio’s hotness/coolness is not enough to make him a good “Survivor” winner.

THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL AROUND

Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, 30; luxury broker, New York City
Chase Rice, 24; NASCAR jackman/singer, Fairview, N.C.
Judson Birza, 21; student/model/musician, Venice, Calif.
Dan Lembo, 63; property management, Water Mill, N.Y.
Holly Hoffman, 44; swim coach, Eureka, S.D.

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Catch up on my “Survivor” recaps and spoilers in this nifty archive. See you on Sunday for the finale! Don’t forget!

Real Housewives of Orange County vs. New Jersey goes to ... Eduardo!

It’s painfully obvious that Eduardo de las Casas is a ringer. He’s too good for “The Fashion Show: Ultimate Collection.”

The “Real Housewives” make-under episode, “Reel to Genteel,” saw the Jersey girls easily beating out the Orange County ditzes, even though Calvin Tran got into fights with both Teresa Giudice and Caroline Manzo.

(Of course diva Calvin got table-flipping Teresa! And of course he out-diva-ed her!)

Here's Eduardo's winning look for Dina Manzo on Episode 5.

Here's Eduardo's winning dress from Episode 3.

Dominique Pearl David spent most of Episode 5 sobbing because she thought David Caldwell was going to go home. Which pretty much guaranteed their House of Nami was going to win over House of Emerald.

Emerald went with boring flesh tones and made the dresses too short, too tight, badly balanced or just amateurish in general. That horrible Tara curtains dress that Lauri Waring’s daughter Ashley got was appalling. So unflattering.

Having said that, David’s original dress for Caroline might’ve sent him home. He really did turn her into Peter Pan in that awful green … thing. Dominique was right to cry for her crush.

Who came to David’s rescue? Not David. Not Dominique. And not Calvin, that’s for sure. Quietly (over)talented Eduardo stepped in and gave David his chiffon, creating a dress that made the top two. The other top dress? Eduardo’s navy stunner for Dina Manzo.

So it came down to Eduardo vs. Eduardo and, inexplicably, the judges took Eduardo to task. They said his winning dress looked a lot like one of his other two winning dresses. They asked if he could do anything else and he said “Yes.”

Well … yeah! Did you see the other dress? He did that one too. Don’t insult the one talent you have!

Eduardo has won three of the five challenges so far. He almost (and should’ve) won the first challenge, but was just safe in the fourth episode. Still, he is far and away the best guy there. When Calvin and David were bickering, I just wanted to scream for Eduardo to step in and for everyone to just listen to the one guy who knows what he’s talking about.

I do like how Caroline's dress turned out (and how they did her hair!), but I don't think David deserves credit.

Here's Eduardo's winning dress from Episode 2.

It’s almost like the show is hiding him. They focused on the drama between indecisive Teresa and diva Calvin, the budding romance between Dominique and David and the hip vagina Golnessa Farmanara created for Gretchen Rossi in Emerald city. (Bye Golnessa!)

Is it inevitable that Eduardo will win? Is it too obvious he should? Will the show pull a Mondo Guerra/Gretchen Jones and surprise us, just to create drama? Or will the show pull an Ann Ward and give it to the person who was always going to win no matter what?

Real my recap of “The Fashion Show” premiere here.

If he's still into tall brunettes, I may have a shot. That's what I'm going with, anyway, and I don't want to hear otherwise.

This is it. This is my shot. Fingers crossed, I’m on the short list to be Michael C. Hall’s Wife #3.

Here's Michael (does he ever go by Mike?) and Amy.

I’ve loved him since he played uber-hot David Fisher on “Six Feet Under.” And by “uber-hot” I mean “adorably repressed gay undertaker.”

He was married to stage actress Amy Spanger from 2002 – 2006.

I felt betrayed when he married Wife #2, Jennifer Carpenter, because she’s a fellow tall brunette, but a younger and thinner one. SLAP!

(He’s 39. I’m 34. She just turned 31 on December 7. Happy birthday, eh?)

But now that she’s exiting stage left I can finally admit I think she’s amazing on “Dexter.” She probably deserves an Emmy for the underrated and underappreciated Debra Morgan.

They were married on Dec. 31, 2008 and new reports are saying they’ve been separated for a while.

*

He's so put-upon. Why do I love when they're put-upon?

To quote Access Hollywood’s report about the split:

A source tells Access that, according to a person very close to the production, the real life husband and wife, who play brother and sister Dexter & Deborah Morgan on the hit Showtime show, haven’t been getting along on set all season and that it’s widely known an official separation announcement is imminent.

In fact, Access’ source was told that Carpenter was going around the set talking about the couple’s problems during the course of the show’s production.

Additionally, our source was informed that Hall, Carpenter and the rest of the show’s cast are very worried about how the two of them are going to work as closely together on set next season as they’re usually required to do.

“Dexter” held its fifth season finale party in New York Sunday night –Carpenter was present, but Hall was not.

*

TMZ says she’s the one filing for divorce. She seemed very supportive as he battled Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but maybe he’s too focused on his work? Or … is he … uh … not that into women? Or is he too into women and cheating? Did he and “Dexter” co-star Julia Stiles get too close? He does seem to fall for his co-stars.

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Ted Casablanca of E! has a blind vice about Michael C. Hall and I wonder if it has anything to do with his marriage issues.

Dear Ted:
Hope you enjoyed your vacation. So glad to have you back and bitchy as ever! My question is about Michael C. Hall, the fabulous Dexter. He seems very clean, but has he ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Dex the Halls:
Yes. Should we have put him in our Blind Vice Gallery?

Dear Ted:
So Michael C. Hall has secrets? Not too surprising, but I’m so curious to know what they are! Maybe we will see a Blind Vice in the future? Pretty please?
—Stewart

Dear Backward:
Future? Hon-pie, he’s already been one.

Dear Ted
I’ve started to get into Dexter recently (great show!) and I have completely fallen for Michael C. Hall! There is just something about him that I find so sexy! My question is does he have any Vicey habits? What about he and his wife? Are they a normal couple like they seem?
—Andie

Dear Killer Instinct:
Yep, Michael has been a BV. But when his TV alter ego’s Vice is, uh, being a serial killer does any naughty habits he’s up to between takes even compare?

*

So what is that about? Which Vice is he? Do I care? I guess I do. Not like I have a huge shot at being Wife #3. But for some reason it matters when a celeb is married or not.

Besides, whatever bad Blind Vice he has may be made up for by this revealed good Blind Item. Heart!

Anyway, why do you think the divorce news came out EXACTLY ONE DAY after the “Dexter” season 5 finale? How long have they been apart, waiting so the breakup news didn’t trump the dramatic finale to a show where MCH is an executive producer?

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