I effing knew it! Dimples ftw! As the self-declared captain of Team Roberto, I demand an invitation to the wedding. Or at least tickets to watch them dance on "Dancing with the Stars."

Hallefreakinlujah!

Reality Steve just posted a mea culpa. Sort of. He says his sources failed him on the “Ali is single” thing. But he’s also claiming he has not been Fleissed (YOU SO HAVE, BUDDY) because he is telling us now what he just heard from his sources.

Yeah, but we only have five hours before East Coast finale showtime and plenty of us have already sleuthed out this “spoiler” the old-fashioned way.

(I’m talking to you, FORT posters. You did it!)

Sorry, Team Chris fans, but you had to see this coming…

**

Anyway, here’s part of Steve’s missive:

So for the first time in a year, my sources failed me. They actually called to apologize for jumping the gun on the “Ali is single” stuff. They said that through all the information they had gathered and heard, the only conclusion they could come to was that Ali was single. They were wrong. They apologize, and I apologize. When they’re wrong, I’m wrong. But that’s ok. I’ve been wrong for the last six weeks in telling you that she’s single. As long as you know what’s gonna happen in the finale before it airs, that’s all I care about. They tried to keep this as hidden as they could, and I will give them credit, they were awfully good about it this season. It took me a month to even get to the “She’s either with Roberto or she’s single” conclusion, which I printed in June. Then three days later I went with “She’s single”. That is not the case.

You know this “shocking ending” and “something we’ve never seen before in the finale” they’ve been talking about? They were never talking about the actual outcome of the show – an engagement, single, dating, etc. What they’re talking about is Chris Lambton never makes it to the final rose ceremony. Hence the reason we’ve never seen footage of Roberto and/or Chris at the final rose ceremony standing there with Ali. They never had any footage of Chris, so if they only showed Roberto there with her, that would’ve given it away. Ali tells Chris during their last chance date that Roberto is the one she’s in love with. She doesn’t want to hurt him by having him go through all the pomp and circumstance of walking up there, possibly proposing, yada yada yada, so she eliminates him right then and there, and Chris is never part of the final rose ceremony. She basically puts all her eggs in one basket in hopes that Roberto reciprocates her feelings. That’s the “risk” she is talking about.

The rest is where it gets tricky. They’re going to make it seem like Roberto is indecisive, he doesn’t know what to do, he’s not sure of his feelings for Ali, etc. Basically all these “doom and gloom” promos ABC has been running the last week making you think it’s such a horrible ending for every party involved. However, in the end, Ali and Roberto are together, they are happy, and they are planning a life together – whatever that means. They left Bora Bora a couple and are still together right now. I am sorry for reporting for the last month she was single. I’m guessing if you’re planning your life together, you must be engaged, but on this show, anything’s possible. You know who else were planning a life together on this show? Every other couple that left this show engaged or happy. So once again, I will say what I say every season regarding the ending of this show and people will inevitably ask me, “Do you think Ali and Roberto will get married?” My answer: I’ll believe it when I see it. Two marriages out of twenty seasons tells me otherwise. But hey, good luck kids. I’ll set the over/under at six months for these two. And take the under.

**

Read the rest of Steve’s post and his stuff on the “After the Final Rose” here.

Ha! Fleissed! I’m so happy.

Mike Fleiss is one creepy guy, but I gotta hand it to him. He and his minions get a standing ovation for this one. Well played.

Go ahead and let Steve give us the scoop on who goes home first, second, third… Let him give us “insider” tidbits on the dramas of the season. It’s all just great PR.

Then give him a false ending (I believe his sources thought it was real, but they were Fleissed too) so we’re expecting the worst. As a lifetime pessimist I know how much better good news is when you go in expecting the worst. And now this finale — which sounds like a pretty typical “they get engaged” ending — is happier for me than usual because I was expecting Ali to pick no one.

Maybe it’s true we all would’ve watched and been happy with this finale either way. But I know I feel better having come at this from the perspective that she chooses no one and finding out she IS happy.

Good job, Ali and Chris Harrison, in misleading us with those “satisfied” ending quotes. But Chris H. was right — the ending won’t be a fan favorite. Because bitter Team Chris L. fans are already insulting Roberto — calling him caterpillar eyebrows and other childish things.

Grow up.

I would’ve been happy for Ali and Chris L. together. As long as she found someone I would feel like it wasn’t a total waste of time. This was still a crazy and very troubled season and I would love to see some changes in the next round, but I also know ABC and the producers just care about ratings, not quality.

Anyway, I’m happy today. I hope Ali and Roberto are also happy tomorrow and in the future. Rainbows all around.

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For all kinds of “Bachelorette” news, recaps, top 10 lists, fashion face-offs and various general “stuff” visit BacheloretteFans.com.

Catch up on my own nifty Bachelor/Bachelorette archive here. I’ve been updating this frequently in the last few days, so do a lot of scrolling to get it all!

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