You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2010.

A *shite*storm of his own making sends Craig back to Toronto. They can keep him. Meanwhile, Houston can feel free to come claim Jonathan, if his mother doesn't show up first.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

You know what I’d love to see? A cage match between Craig “The Hair” McKinnon from Ali Fedotowsky’s season of “The Bachelorette” and Dave “Man Code” Good of Jillian Harris’ season.

Hopefully they’d just kill each other off, but I worry that they might actually get along. In fact, yeah. They would probably have a great bromance.

I’ve been through a lot with my fellow Mass girl. I liked her at first on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love” with Mr. Vienna Girardi. Then disliked her whiny I don’t knoooooooowwwww what to dooooooo sobbing about work.

Now I’m back to liking Ali, because she just cut The Hair. I hate The Hair, and I hate how the guys seemed to laugh at his stupid antics (you wear gross short-shorts and sweat through another guy’s jacket and that’s funny?) and egged him on. Craig M. is a bully and the guys helped him bully Jonathan “The Weatherman” Novack. That is not OK.

Not that I’m fond of Jonathan. He’s coming off as weak and whiny, even if he really does have a brown belt from his year and a half of martial arts.

The good news at this point on “The Bachelorette” is Justin “Rated R” Rego is actually coming off as an OK guy. (For now.) But this is a lousy season on the bachelor front in general. (Reid, we miss you! Graham, I miss you and your abs!)

There’s Frank Neuschaefer, who is ADORABLE, but I already hate him because of the spoilers. And I can already see that developing. Come on. The “aspiring screenwriter” gets the Hollywood paparazzi date and Ali is proud of him for being “uncomfortable” but smiling and kissing her and putting on a good face for the cameras? Please. Frank only went on the show for those very cameras. He wants his name out there.

Jesse Beck is hot as hell, except for his spiky hair, but his vocabulary appears to be limited to “stoked.” Ty Brown annoys the crap out of me already. No. More. Guitars. Please. Kasey Kahl and his fast-talking monotone still creep me out. Chris Lambton goes far, I know, but he’s the Deepak Chopra of the house. No real believable human quote has come out of his mouth.

Steve Kocsis seems like a sweetie for helping to boost Jonathan’s nerves during the Sexy Guy calendar shoot (which was missing a few sexy guys), but he didn’t need to go so far as to compliment the weatherman’s ass.

So far the only guy getting an A+ is Roberto Martinez, who continues to hit it out of the park. Literally. He said tonight that he played baseball in college and was drafted by the Rockies and the Twins. (So what happened? He didn’t say.) He and Ali played catch together and he taught her another something new. This guy is the only winner on deck.

(Bachelorette spoilers: Should Ali Fedotowsky pick Chris Lambton or Roberto Martinez?)

In a nice twist, Jonathan is playing the Ali role this season and Craig M. is the Vienna. Except Ali didn’t keep the Vienna around, like Jake did. She dumped her Vienna. I bet it felt good. It sure felt good from here.

Go back to Canada, you twat. And I hope all the “attractive women” you wanted to meet on the plane shave your head in your sleep.

**

There’s more! Tons more! Catch up on all Bachelorette news, gossip, top 10 lists and full recaps here at BacheloretteFans.com.

And you can peruse my nifty Bachelor/Bachelorette archive right here. Please and thank you!

AFed meets her a-holes. Actually, some of them are sweet. Lounge Lizard Craig is not one of them.

OK, I know you’ve already clicked here, but if you’ve come this far I know you have one more click in you. Please head here and read my full, overly detailed recap of “The Bachelorette” Season 6 premiere.

Ali Fedotowsky had better pick Roberto Martinez or I’m going after him myself. I’d pick Frank Neuschaefer, but not after all the spoilers.

I do not care what anyone says. Parvati Shallow should've won "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains." Period.

I’m not sure I like the idea of “Survivor” moving to Wednesdays. That’s “America’s Next Top Model” night.

Sure I can tape one (ANTM) and watch the other (“Survivor: Nicaragua”) live, but I’m a creature of habit. They trained me to accept some things as appointment TV and then “they” went and changed the appointment time. That’s just rude.

And I’m upset that NBC is taking “Parks and Recreation” out of the fall lineup — but keeping “Community” for some reason — to better promote the new show “Outsourced.” They just got P&R to a point where it’s one of the network’s best shows, so they bench it till mid-season? Bad idea.

I’m posting the full 2010 fall schedule, as announced by the networks and copied wholesale from AOL TV. New shows are in italics.

Note: This list doesn’t include cable stuff like “Mad Men” (starts July 25) on AMC and “True Blood” (starts June 13) on HBO, etc.

By the way, fellow “Survivor” fans, did you see this? “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” contestant James Clement will make his daytime television debut on “The Young and the Restless” on Friday, June 4 on CBS.  James, a longtime fan of the show, will play a police officer in scenes with Greg Rikaart, Peter Bergman, Eric Braeden and Joshua Morrow.

Do you really think James is “a longtime fan of the show” or just a big fan of the idea of having a steady acting job on the network that’s given him so much Fan Favorite $$?

Anyway, my “Survivor” archive still exists, even if the show is off the air until the fall. Catch up on all of my Russell hate here.

***MONDAY***

8PM:
‘Dancing With the Stars’ (ABC) – two hours
‘Chuck’ (NBC)
‘House’ (Fox)
‘How I Met Your Mother’ (CBS)
‘90210’ (CW)

8:30PM:
‘Rules of Engagement’ (CBS)

9PM:
‘The Event’ (NBC)
‘Lonestar”(Fox)
‘Two and a Half Men’ (CBS)
‘Gossip Girl’ (CW)

9:30PM:
‘Mike & Molly’ (CBS)

10PM:
‘Castle’ (ABC)
‘Chase’ (NBC)
‘Hawaii Five-0′ (CBS)

***TUESDAY***

8PM:
‘No Ordinary Family’ (ABC)
‘The Biggest Loser’ (NBC) — two hours
‘Glee’ (Fox)
‘NCIS’ (CBS)
‘One Tree Hill’ (CW)

9PM:
‘Dancing With the Stars: Results Show’ (ABC)
‘Raising Hope’ (Fox)
‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ (CBS)
‘Life Unexpected’ (CW)

9:30PM:

‘Running Wilde’ (Fox)

10PM:
‘Detroit 1-8-7′ (ABC)
‘Parenthood’ (NBC)
‘The Good Wife’ (CBS)

***WEDNESDAY***

8PM:
‘The Middle’ (ABC)
‘Undercovers’ (NBC)
‘Lie to Me’ (Fox)
‘Survivor’ (CBS)
‘America’s Next Top Model’ (CW)

8:30PM:
‘Better Together’ (ABC)

9PM:

‘Modern Family’ (ABC)
‘Law & Order: SVU’ (NBC)
‘Hell’s Kitchen’ (Fox)
‘Criminal Minds’ (CBS)
‘Hellcats’ (CW)

9:30PM:
‘Cougar Town’ (ABC)

10PM:
‘The Whole Truth’ (ABC)
‘Law & Order: Los Angeles’ (NBC)
‘The Defenders’ (CBS)

***THURSDAY***

8PM:
‘My Generation’ (ABC)
‘Community’ (NBC)
‘Bones’ (Fox)
‘The Big Bang Theory’ (CBS)
‘The Vampire Diaries’ (CW)

8:30PM:

’30 Rock’ (NBC)
‘Bleep My Dad Says’ (CBS)

9PM:
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ (ABC)
‘The Office’ (NBC)
‘Fringe’ (Fox)
‘CSI: Crime Scene Investigation’ (CBS)
‘Nikita’ (CW)

9:30PM:
‘Outsourced’ (NBC)

10PM:
‘Private Practice’ (ABC)
‘Love Bites’ (NBC)
‘The Mentalist’ (CBS)

***FRIDAY***

8PM:
‘The Secret Millionaire’ (ABC)
‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ (NBC)
‘Human Target’ (Fox)
‘Medium’ (CBS)
‘Smallville’ (CW)

9PM:
‘Body of Proof’ (ABC)
‘Dateline’ (NBC)
‘The Good Guys’ (Fox)
‘CSI: NY’ (CBS)
‘Supernatural’ (CW)

10PM:
’20/20′ (ABC)
‘Outlaw’ (NBC)
‘Blue Bloods’ (CBS)

***SATURDAY***

8PM:
‘Saturday Night College Football’ (ABC) — three hours
Drama encores (NBC) — three hours
‘Cops’ (Fox)
‘Crimetime’ (CBS)

8:30PM:

‘Cops’ (Fox)

9PM:
‘America’s Most Wanted’ (Fox)
‘Crimetime’ (CBS)

10PM:
’48 Hours Mystery’ (CBS)

***SUNDAY***

7PM:
‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ (ABC)
‘Football Night in America’ (NBC) — one and a half hours
‘The OT’ (Fox)
’60 Minutes’ (CBS)

8PM:
‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ (ABC)
‘The Simpsons’ (Fox)
‘The Amazing Race’ (CBS)

8:30PM:
‘NFL Sunday Night Football’ (NBC)
‘The Cleveland Show’ (Fox)

9PM:
‘Desperate Housewives’ (ABC)
‘Family Guy’ (Fox)
‘Undercover Boss’ (CBS)

9:30PM:
‘American Dad’ (Fox)

10PM:
‘Brother & Sisters’ (ABC)
‘CSI: Miami’ (CBS)

Visit http://www.bachelorettefans.com and help me feed my cat. Please?

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Too exciting! If you’ve read any of my blog ramblings at all you know I’m obsessed-to-the-point-of-a-problem with “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.

Well, for the past few months I have been working as a “consultant” (freelance writer) for Wetpaint, which creates fun A&E sites like DWTSShow.com, TheBachelorShow.com and Gleetastic.com.

Now, finally, they have created the “Bachelorette” site I’ve been trying to tease for a while. It’s called BacheloretteFans.com and you should BOOKMARK IT AND CLICK ON IT EVERY DAY.

Seriously. Other writers and I will be posting about 10 stories a day on there. News, gossip, fashion stuff, top 10 lists filled with awkward moments. If you love “The Bachelorette” you should check it out.

OK, I’m done with the shameless plug.

Except I’m not! Different plug: Read the full transcript of Ali Fedotowsky’s recent press conference call here and consider here which guy you think she should pick in the end. (If she picks anyone at all. I’m telling you, I don’t think she does.)

Here's Ali meeting Chris L. on "The Bachelorette" premiere.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Ali Fedotowsky held a conference call with a bunch of media outlets on May 19. For a more concise look at her answers, read my still-not-short-but-at-least-shorter-and-easier-to-read story here at TheBachelorShow.com.

I’m posting all of her Q&A here on my blog because I know there are “Bachelorette” nerds like me who will want as many details as possible.

Everyone on the conference call got one question and then a few people got to ask follow-up questions. The call went on for about 45 minutes or so. Ali seemed very upbeat and comfortable. She only paused when asked to talk about the show’s ending. That’s when she said “You know, I’m” (pause) “I’m happy right now.”

Just listening to her tone there — and Chris Harrison saying in a separate interview that Ali had to make several tough choices and he thinks she’s “satisfied” with the ending — I think we’re in for a non-engagement. Nothing about her answers suggested she’s madly in love and about to move in with someone. But I could be totally wrong.

Read a ton of Bachelor/Bachelorette news and gossip here at TheBachelorShow.com and catch up on my personal thoughts here at my own nifty Bachelor blog archive.
***

1. So did being rejected by Jake when you originally tried to come back weigh heavily on you in a sense that you were scared to be rejected by these guys?

I don’t think that my phone call with Jake sort of brought up that insecurity in me.  Did I have a fear of rejection on this show?  I absolutely did.  And I think that’s because, you know, I’ve been heartbroken in the past and I mean not just from my relationship with Jake but a lot of relationships I had before even being on The Bachelor.

And, you know, I think my big fear was that I knew that I was excusing each guy because I wanted them to continue with me.  And I didn’t necessarily know that because they were accepting a rose, it meant that they actually wanted to be with me.  So, yes, I questioned that a lot along the way, and I was scared.

2.  So the season hasn’t even started yet and there’s talk that there’s going to be a scandal this year.   Can you talk about what the drama is going to be this year?

Oh, man, I can’t get into specifics, but I mean there’s definitely a bit of drama this season.  And, you know, I – you know, rumors are rumors and whether there’s truth to them or not, I cannot say.  I actually haven’t even got a chance to look at any of them really in the Internet because I just got back; but, yes, I went through a lot and there’s a lot of emotion, good and bad, and I think it will be really interesting to watch and see how it unfolds.


3. Ali, I wanted to ask you about your move like change earlier because it seems like a big thing.  You’ve grown up in kind of, you know, academic kind of area and so forth with Phi Beta Kappa; and then to all of a sudden pack up and move to California from college, it seems like a drastic change of life.  Kind of tell us about that time in your life.

Sure.  Yes, I was going to school and while I was actually finishing up my last two years of college, I was – I was actually in a long distance relationship with a guy who was at – in a Ph.D. program at Stanford.  So after two years of long distance, we decided that when I graduated I would just move out there and we’d give it a shot.  And, I mean, I made that move for love.

And it ended up not working out, but ending up in California was probably the best thing that ever happened to me because I feel like being in the bay area is the perfect place to sort of surround myself with other, you know, really educated people who could challenge me, and I’m really happy I made that move.

4.  So I know – you know, everybody knows you had an advertising job before this and everything like that.  I’m kind of wondering being from the advertising world, how important were first impressions to you from these guys?  Like, did you have to be sold right away or anything like that?

That’s a good question.  You know, actually, no.  I was going in thinking that the first impressions were not going to be – not really mean anything to me, honestly, because I’ve always been the type of girl that when I go for a guy, it’s because he has told me a story that’s really interesting or made me laugh by telling a joke.  So I thought, you know – well, maybe not a joke but a little bit of a conversation before I decide whether or not I’m interested in him.

And, I don’t know, so I just sort of – I was so nervous that first night that I don’t even know that I remembered a lot of the first impressions, never mind them weighing that much.  So, it doesn’t mean – it doesn’t, you know, weigh that heavily.

5. So I’m assuming you can’t say whether you ended up getting engaged or anything like that at the end of the season, but I was wondering if you could just talk about the ending.  You know, were you happy with the way it turned out?

You know, I am happy right now, and I’m really confident with the, like, decisions that I made all along the way and whether it was the third or fifth rose ceremony, fifth one or the last one.  I’m really – I don’t have any regrets, and I’m super confident with each decision along the way, and I’m really happy right now.

6. I’m curious if you can sort of give us a timeline from when you went to the business (Facebook) and when you got over Jake and when you were approached, how it came that you came back.

Right.  So, gosh, let me think.  So I left the show.  I actually – I got the phone call from my company, and, well, actually talked to them about whether or not I could stay or leave hours before the rose ceremony and then I made the choice to leave the show.  And I went right back to work that following Monday when I got home.  And I believe – I mean, I was approached – it was after I was already off the show as it aired.

So it was a while later and it honestly was never something that I ever imagined I’d be asked to do, and I was really shocked when I was asked and nervous when I first asked to do it.  And I really don’t know the exact dates or timeline, but by the time I was approached, I feel like I was healed from the show.  And actually, in fact, in order to make my decision of whether or not I wanted to become The Bachelorette, I wanted to make sure that I saw the season finale of the Bachelor so I could just have closure with that and be ready to move on with my – with my next adventure.

7.  So I guess being a Bay State girl, I noticed that there’s at least several New England guys, two Bay State guys in the roundup.  Did it help having some local people in the mix?  I mean, did that sway your decision in any way?

Oh, no, it didn’t sway my decisions in any way.  Really, it’s so funny because things that I thought maybe would sway my decisions didn’t throughout the season.  It was more just a feeling I had with each guy.  And, you know, if there was a guy who, you know, I had things in common with, like he was, you know, from my area, then it just gave us more to talk about.  So, I’m sure it was good for a conversation starter, but, no, it definitely didn’t sway my decision either way.

8.  I’m just wondering if you had spoken to any of the former bachelorettes or maybe even Jake, if they had given you any advice or you kind of talked about being the one handing out the roses as opposed to getting them.

I have – I haven’t spoken to Jake at all, actually, not even till this day, but, you know, I actually think – I think there’s a good chance that I may be running into him and his fiancée, Vienna, soon so I hope to talk to them about my journey a little bit.  But I did talk to Jillian Harris beforehand and, you know, she really wanted this to be my experience and she just wanted to wish me good luck.  And her advice was basically to make sure I had a lot of travel hairspray on hand while we were on the road.

So, you know – and she just wanted to just wish me luck and she was really sweet about saying, you know, I’m so glad that you’re the next bachelorette and things like that, and that’s really good to hear from her.  And I haven’t actually met her in person, but I hope to in the future.


9.   I’m wondering about the challenge of meeting three men – three men named Chris all at once and what was your impression of Chris from Orlando?

Three guys – Chris all at once.  I’m actually really good with names so it wasn’t too difficult for me to handle the three Chris’ names but, you know, I got a great impression from him.  I can’t get into too many details about him.  You’ll have to watch the episode and see, but definitely a sweet guy and had a really good heart.  So I think you’ll – I think you’ll see some of that when you watch the show.

10.  Now, I’m calling from Canada.  And I’ve seen the first episode online, so I got to ask you about the three Canadian guys that took part.  And I feel like Justin kind of – he got unfairly vilified by the guys in the house in that first episode.

Yes, you know, I was shocked actually when that happened in the first episode.  And, you know, for me, that first night, Justin seemed like a really sweet guy, and I didn’t really know what to take from that.  I think, for me, I was shocked about the ballot box and I didn’t – I don’t even know what to make of it.  But at the end of the day, I remember thinking from my season that I thought I had a better idea of, you know, what girls are maybe there for the right and wrong reasons the first night than maybe Jake did.

So, you know, I definitely didn’t want to let the ballot box be the be-all end-all but, you know, I kept it in the back of my mind.


11.  Last year – last year, initially, you were the most popular bachelorette.  You were everybody’s number one choice until you got hardcore on Vienna.  Are we going to see some of that hardcore Ali this season?

Oh, man.  You know, yes, I – last season – and I’ll say it again.  I said it before.  I cannot apologize enough for my behavior then.  I lost my cool, and I am glad that I was able to see that on the show because I wonder a lot about myself and how I should treat others.  And, no, I don’t think that I will be treating others badly this season.  But we’ll see a little bit, you know, of the bold side of me coming out.  And if someone maybe, you know, does something that I don’t think is so great, I’ll let them know.

And I’m – for one thing, I can say, so far, I mean, I haven’t seen all the episodes, but I’m very proud of the way I handled situations this season.  And I think I would do it all the same way again if I had to.


12.  Looking back now that you’re the bachelor – you know, now that you are the Bachelorette, do you think that you made the right decision by leaving the show and if – you know, with Jake?

You know, I do think that, at the time, you know, I think it was the right decision in a sense that I don’t think that I’m supposed to be with Jake.  I think he found someone, and he’s with Vienna, and they’re happy, and I’m happy for them.  But do I think that choosing a job over someone who’s potentially the love of your life, do I think that’s the wrong choice?  I do.

So, I mean, it’s kind of hard to answer because if I stayed, would I ended up with Jake?  I don’t think so.  I think he would have ended up with Vienna anyway.  So in that sense, I think it’s the right choice, but I’m so glad that now I know that I will never ever make that choice again.  And I can promise you that I won’t.

13.   So I just wanted to ask you, are you really ready – do you think you’re ready to have a child?  And if so, did that come into play when you were picking guys who might also be ready to get some right away?

(This was my Q)

Oh, my God.  Thank goodness you asked that question.  OK, let me clear this up.  So there’s some article that I’ve seen out there so far, people suggesting that I want children right away.  And, no, that is not the case.  I did say to Chris Harrison that if he asked me where I wanted to be in five years, and I say – I said, “I’d like to be pregnant in five years,” meaning that when I’m 30, I would like to be pregnant with my first child.

So am I ready for kids now?  Absolutely not.  I have – I still have a career I want to build and things that I need to accomplish before I’m ready to start a family and, you know, I – think that most of, I guess, the guys probably felt the same way this season.  I definitely never made it seem like I wanted to have kids right away and I don’t think they did either.  So, yes, thank you so much for asking that question.

14.  I’m also on the line from Canada.  I’m curious whether you’ve had a chance to come up here at all and also whether you’d consider moving to another country if your guy was one of the Canadian guys.

I have not actually been to Canada, and I’d love to.  My dad was actually born in Montreal, so I should – I should visit.  And for love?  Absolutely, I would move to another country; no question.  There’s one thing that – I mean, not only did I realize from last season, that I would never chose a job over family and love; I realized I’d never let any decision be swayed, you know, over my decision to put love first.  Nothing.  Nothing could stop that.  So I would absolutely move.  Who knows?  I could be a Canadian resident soon.

15.  I just wanted you to give some details about what kind of engagement ring you like, what kind of wedding dress you would see yourself in, you know, down the line, and what kind of party you’d want to have as a wedding?

Oh, my gosh, I have never in my life thought about what my wedding would be like.  I – you know, engagement ring – gosh, if I had to pick a style – my uncle is actually a jeweler and he’s always told me that Asscher Cut is pretty nice.  So I guess that if I had to pick something, that’s probably what I would go for.

But wedding dress – I don’t know.  I would want them really simple, something – I want my hair to be really natural, and I plan on wearing Converse under my wedding dress so it’s got to be long enough to hide those.  But, yes, just I don’t like to be all glammed up.  I like to be natural, so I think I’d have a really natural look.


16.  So, now, it’s safe to say that thousands – I mean, tens of thousands of men applied on your season of The Bachelorette.  Were you happy with the 25 guys that they picked for you?

Wow, that many applied?  Why?  No, I’m kidding.  I’m so – I’m so happy with the 25 guys that I got this season.  I mean … one thing I said to the producers coming in is I do not want the male model who can’t put two sentences together.  I want smart, interesting guys that are going to, you know, just keep me excited about the relationship and who they are and what they bring to the table, and that’s exactly what I got.  And I’m so happy with all of them.  And I want to thank, I guess, each and every one of them for coming and being there because they made the experience really great for me.

17.  My question has to do with the decision-making process because I’ve always wondered, you know, there’s a different decision every time you have a rose ceremony.  Is it a different set of criteria when you’re up there?  You know, how do you make that?  Do you have things in your head that you know that you want each time?

That’s a great question.  You know, I just really went with the feeling.  It was just a feeling I had about each person, and I didn’t really weigh a lot – well, this person has these qualities, and this person has these qualities.  I never – I never wanted to compare the guys; I just didn’t think that was fair.  And I just more, instead of comparing the guys and their qualities, I compared my feelings for the guys.

And, you know, I felt pretty confident each – I felt extremely confident each rose ceremony and the decisions I made.  I knew they were the right ones and I never questioned them.

The only rose ceremony that I’d say I had any question about at all would be the first one because I had so little time and, you know, you just wonder afterwards, “Oh, if I just had a few more minutes with that person, would I have realized something about them that, you know, I didn’t see before?”  And that was the only rose ceremony that was really, really tough in terms of making my decisions.  But after that, I just – I really knew what I wanted and the only really hard part was hurting somebody in order to, you know, find my, you know, ending, I guess hopefully find my guy.  Well, thank you so much.


18.  What I want to know is now that you’ve gone through this yourself, does it give you sort of an added sense of maybe sympathy or insight into what Jake was going through on The Bachelor?

Absolutely.  Gosh, I just remember thinking when I was on The Bachelor, “Gosh, why would Jake be insecure about anything?  He has all these girls here, you know, vying for his attention.  He has nothing to be concerned about.”  Then, you know, being on – being the Bachelorette, I was like, “Oh, my gosh, I get it.”  You know, so people can say to me all day, you know, “I’m falling for you,” and, “you’re beautiful,” and all these words.

But to me, I always found myself questioning them.  You know, is this person being sincere?  Do they really care for me?  And one thing, you know, that’s really important to me and made it clear to all of the guys as we were going through this was I’m offering you a rose, but you’re accepting it back.  Don’t accept it if you don’t want it.

And that was really important to me that the guys knew this was serious and not just a game.  And I hope they got that.  But I have so much more respect for Jake and, you know, and Jillian, and Jason, everyone who has been through this because it’s really difficult.  It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I, you know – sorry, I just had a thought in head; I lost it.  I would do it again but it was very, very difficult.

19.  I wanted to ask if you were a fan of the show before you went on The Bachelor and what was your impression of it?

The first season I ever saw of The Bachelor was Jason Mesnick’s season.  And I loved it and I thought he was such a great guy and I remember thinking to myself, “Oh, if I could only find a man like that.”  And that’s when I applied for the show.  I thought, “Why not?”  I can’t lose and I really never in a million years thought I would be on it, never mind be the Bachelorette.  So, yes, I watched Jason’s season and that’s what that has got me hooked and I guess I fell in love with the idea of falling in love, I don’t know.  So, here I am.

20.   Based on your experience on The Bachelor, are there things that maybe Jake did that you wouldn’t want to end up doing this season of The Bachelorette?

You know, I guess the only thing, really – I mean, I’ve totally respected Jake and all the decisions he made.  I think the only thing that was really different for me was, you know, Jake had a really big heart and he had felt that he had fallen in love with more than one person.  And for me, I don’t feel like my heart is capable of loving more than one person.

So, you know, going in, I sort of made a promise to myself that, you know, I really just wanted to make sure that I didn’t share those type of feelings unless I was sharing it with one person and I was completely positive that that was the person for me.


21.   So, what’s something that viewers may be surprised to know about you that may come out on this season that perhaps didn’t come out – not – you know, just personality-wise or quality about you?

That’s a good question.  I don’t know.  I mean, I think people might be a little – I think, you know, and I saw that actually Chris Harrison touched on this on one of his blogs.  I have the same insecurities that, you know, every other girl has.  And, I mean, I consider myself like a confident independent woman and there are so many things about myself that I’m proud of and feel good about; but there’s also – I still have those insecurities that if I love someone, are they going to love me back.  And I’ve been through – I’ve been in a lot of relationships where I have put my heart out there and I have been completely in love and, well, actually, I think – you know, I have been completely in love and that person didn’t love me back.  So, that was a fear of mine and I think that weighed heavily, like, on my heart this season.


22.   One of the things – I’ve talked to Chris last Saturday – that he talked about was you have fabulous locations.  Can you talk a little bit about that and how the volcano affected you?

Sure, yes.  Wow, I mean, we traveled everywhere.  The thing that was so great about the travel, I feel like, is there are places where maybe you wouldn’t necessarily think to go on your own like Iceland and Turkey but, you know, I got to go there and I loved it.  We got so lucky in Iceland.  You know, we were there while the volcano was erupting, but not before those huge eruption.  The volcano was erupting and you’ll have to wait and see if we have any good footage of that.  But we went to Turkey and Portugal and we left Portugal pretty much days before the big eruption that caused all the travel delays.  So, you know, someone was watching over us because we got really lucky and got out just in time.

23.  A (Daily Beast) material mentions that you had abandoned your apartment and your job to go back to do The Bachelorette.  How final was it?  Did you really have to leave your apartment?  And also, is your job one that you cannot go back to or would you be able to go back to it?

I did leave my job at Facebook.  And at this point, I don’t have plans to go back.  I mean, I have hopes to go back in the future, but it would probably be a while before that would happen.  And so it’s pretty final at this point, which is sad because I really loved it.  But I think, you know, at some point, I would either be able to hopefully go back there or, you know, I actually have some ideas of my own company that I’d like to possibly start.

So, I will have to see, I guess, what happens with that.  And with my apartment, yes, I completely moved out.  All of my stuff is in storage right now.  I’m living with my two best friends, a married couple and they’re taking very good care of me while this whole season airs.  Then I can find my final, you know, my final location that I’ll be settling down in.


24.  When you watch the episodes and you see that things that went on when you weren’t there, would you have liked to have known some of that stuff?  Would any of that have changed any decisions you made?

I’ve also seen the first two episodes so far.  But, you know, and I’ve seen some teasers – a few – a little bit of footage of teasers and there are some things that I wish I had known that I didn’t get to see.  You know, you’ll see – I guess, early on, in the first episode, there’s – I get to hear people’s opinions on different guys on the house.  And, you know, there’s a couple where I was like, “I wonder why they’re pointing him out.”  And, you know, I guess – either way, it might have changed my journey, I guess, along the way but I don’t think the ending would have been different.  So, it’s OK that I didn’t see those things.

25. I know you can’t tell us how it ends but going into this, were you confident that this could be it and you could find the one?

Oh, I was so confident going into this that I could find my husband on the show.  I would not have done this show otherwise.  When I was first approached to be The Bachelorette, I actually had a lot of concerns.  I was so happy in my career, my job; and I love being in San Francisco and I just didn’t know if it was the right choice.

And I had a conversation with my best friends that I’m living with now, and they said to me, you know, “If you find your husband on this show, nothing else matters.”  And that’s when I knew being on the show was the right choice.  And I was absolutely confident from night one that my husband was going to be in that room and I’d like to think I kept that confidence.

26. I got to ask you a tough question because you’ve been talking about – you’ve been going with your feelings and your values. And I’m quite sure that The Bachelor faced the Fantasy Suite date night with a different attitude than perhaps somebody such as yourself and the ladies. How did you confront that knowing there might be assumptions on the part of the guys?

I’m, I mean, I don’t know.  I just sort of – was I scared even going into it?  Yes, I was.  But I think going through, you know, this whole experience together, I think when I know when I am presenting those cards and the guys get those cards, I think we’re just so excited to be off-camera and be able to talk, you know, without the cameras around.  And, you know, it’s a very easy to talk with them there.  But there are some little things that you want to keep to yourself and make personal.

So, I mean, it’s a perfect opportunity.  I didn’t get any sleep those nights because we were up talking all night.  And I think that it’s really important, those nights, to building the relationship and, you know, taking it to that next step by just having those really intimate conversations.


27.  Actually, I’m going to pass.  I was going to ask a question about picking the people I want.  Actually, I guess, I’ll just ask if you – I know in previous – one of the previous seasons, they actually had the bachelor I think looking – or the bachelorette looking at all the pictures and saying, I want to, you know, talk to that one.  Did you have that opportunity?

Yes.  What I would do at the deliberation, I look at all the photos.  I absolutely have the opportunity if I chose to go talk to a guy before handing out the roses.  That was always an option.  And, you know …

Q: No. I mean, before they pick the 25 men.

Oh, before they picked the 25 men?  No, no, no.  I have no idea at all.  The first night that I saw those guys step in the limo, that was the very, very first time.  So – and I liked it that way.  It made it more exciting.  And, you know, I think fate plays a role on this, too.  I think fate plays a role in everyone’s life and their relationships.  And I was – I just had a lot of faith that they were going to pick the right guys for me.

28.  What were you looking for in a husband going into this show?

Going in, I really wanted someone that was interesting to me; just someone who – when they would talk, I would just be on the edge of my seat because I couldn’t wait to hear what they had to say next, you know; someone who’s funny and intelligent.  But you know what?  As the show went on, I don’t really know – I think I learned actually as the show went on that qualities aren’t necessarily the thing that’s – like those kind of qualities like funny, interesting.

I think it’s more – what makes a relationship, I think I learned, is just how that person treats you and makes you feel.  And I don’t really think you can put like a specific quality on that in terms of who they are.  I don’t know.  I think that’s what I learned.  What I went in thinking I needed is not exactly I think what I need or I found out that I necessarily needed.  Those are kind of weird wordings.  Does that make sense?

29.  I was just wondering; before, you have referenced that, you know, this time around, you’re not maybe going to lose your cool so much.  I was wondering if there was any other regrets that you had had from your time on The Bachelor?

You know, I don’t – the only thing I really regret honestly is – I mean, I regret making the choice.  Like, it’s hard to explain because I do regret making the choice to choose work over love but I know Jake isn’t the right one for me so I know that was supposed to happen even though I don’t think it was the right choice.  Does that make sense?

And then I absolutely regret, you know, my relationship with Vienna and how that turned out.  I mean, there’s no question.  We’re both to blame in that situation and I take a lot of responsibility for it.  And I do feel bad about it.  And I would – can I say that I don’t lose my cool on The Bachelorette?  I think I might lose my cool slightly to be honest but for the right reason.

Chris & Roberto. Maybe they should just find love with each other?

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Let’s fast-forward to the end of Ali Fedotowsky’s season 6 of “The Bachelorette.”

Reality Steve has already told us it’s going to come down to Chris Lambton and Roberto Martinez.
Of course, Steve had to do some classic egocentric grandstanding first, but that’s now as traditional as Chris Harrison popping in to announce “this is the final rose.”

***UPDATE*** As of June 22, Steve says Ali chose no one. Final answer. ***END OF UPDATE***

***UPDATE 2*** As of July 3, I am not sure of anything: ‘Bachelorette’ finale spoilers: Is Ali Fedotowsky really engaged to Roberto Martinez? Has Reality Steve been ‘Fleissed’? ***END OF UPDATE 2***

RS said he isn’t sure which guy gets chosen — if anyone — and considering the show hasn’t even started yet, that’s good news. Maybe I’m just weary of cynicism in general, but I’m starting to get Spoiler Fatigue. I miss the magic of being blindsided by this manufactured drama. It’ll pass.

While we’ve already been spoiled for this season, let’s decide whom Ali should chose.

Based on photos alone, I say Roberto. He doesn’t look like every other lily white frat boy on the show. He’s a cute Latin lover and he salsa dances with Ali on the first episode. That’s hot. Besides, Chris L. has Spock ears and he’s wearing the Periodic Table of Elements. That’s kinda nerdy-cute but also just weird.

Also, in episode three, Roberto and Ali walk a tightrope between two buildings on their one-on-one date. (So much for dinner and movie.) Jillian and Ed scaled buildings in LA on her season of “The Bachelorette” and Jake and Vienna went bungee jumping on “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Fame Whores.” So we already have two precedents for extreme situations leading to engagement rings.

Roberto Martinez’s Bachelor bio says he is a 26-year-old insurance agent originally from Tampa, Florida currently residing in Charleston, South Carolina. Roberto is/was supposedly also a baseball player, but do we have details on that? Is that just a rumor?

He seems a bit young for marriage, but then Ali is 25 so it depends on what they want.

Here's a Chris Lambton photo that was apparently taken by Channing Johnson.

Meanwhile, Starcasm has a nice full “Bachelorette file” on Chris Lambton, the 33-year-old former high school math teacher in New York City. Chris is originally from Dennis, Massachusetts and returned to the Cape Cod area to take care of his ailing mother. He now works in landscaping.

According to Starcasm’s Bachelorette file, “Lambton has a very sympathetic story in that he left teaching to return home to take care of his ailing mother Marjorie Lambton, who died in 2008. According to media outlets who have seen the first episode of The Bachelorette, Chris is a really good guy who is wary of telling Ali of his story because he doesn’t want the sympathy but wants Ali to like him for who he is. That impression of Chris is backed up by his sister-in-law Meaghan Hempel, who tells Cape Cod Online, ‘He’s a sweetheart. He loves his family,’ she said. ‘A girl would be lucky to have him.’”

Starcasm continues with more details:

Chris is an athletic guy who ran the 400 meters for Providence College in the late 1990s. In addition to being a division-one track athlete at the school, he was also named to the Big East Conference 1998-99 Academic All-Star Team. Though he is no longer teaching, he still has a profile on the New York City “Meet A Teacher” website that says the following:

Chris Lambton, HSEF
As a teacher, I helped coach basketball at a school where most of the kids use sports as a way to get their minds off what’s going on around them. The passion and determination they showed while playing was not only inspiring, but helped them win the league championship. The first league championship in our school’s history! I should mention that we don’t have a gym. A school with no gym wins a league title! Seeing the joy on these kids’ faces when that final buzzer went off isn’t just one of my most rewarding teaching experiences, it’s one of my most rewarding life experiences.

Ali’s family also lives in Massachusetts, so that may or may not end up a factor.

I’m telling you, I feel like she doesn’t end up with either one.

You know what I’d love. Instead of pulling a Brad Womack and picking no one — or a Jen Schefft where she says “Let’s see where this goes” and it’s over by the time we get to After the Final Rose — I’d love to see Ali pull a Reverse Womack. Accept two proposals. Be engaged to two guys at once and then see how it goes after the cameras are gone.

Date them both for a while, plan two weddings and then pick the right one somewhere down the line. It’d be something new, anyway.

***

Read a stupid amount of Bachelor/Bachelorette news & gossip here at BacheloretteFans.com. And catch up on my personal thoughts here at my own nifty Bachelor blog archive.

By the way, happy birthday Derek. You deserve the gift of a mirror ball.

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

It’s time for “American Idol” to pull a Brad Womack from “The Bachelor” and choose no one.

Go ahead and get to the final two — probably Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze, even though Casey James at least smiles and acts like it’s not torture to be there — then tell them they’re both really great people, but it’s not working out. It’s not them. It’s us.

Actually, it’s the judges, who screwed season 9 back when they chose a lousy top 24 and things just went downhill from there, especially after America dumped Alex Lambert (still love you, Mullet Boy!) and Siobhan Magnus.

I never thought he'd get this far (he certainly shouldn't have) but now that he's here, I prefer him to the others.

But if Casey can't win (and why would he) and they decide they have to give it to someone (they shouldn't), give it to Crystal.

Neither Crystal nor Lee is ready to be a decent Idol winner. Crystal still reminds me of a hippie street busker and Lee just makes me sad. Even Danny Gokey could’ve beat him last season and I never liked Danny Gokey.

Lee has little-to-no personality and if I hear a Lee song on the radio I’ll probably just wish it were by Chris Daughtry or David Cook. (Or Kris Allen. I acknowledge your existence, Kris, even if you are somehow persona non grata on Idol!)

If “American Idol” wants to salvage the worst and most boring season ever, it should make a quality control statement to the effect of “Our bad! These guys aren’t ready to hold the same title as Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. We’ll try again next time. Without Simon.”

Is that too much to ask? But if someone has to win, and it can’t be Casey, make it Crystal. She, at least, doesn’t instantly remind me of a half dozen better Idol contestants.

“Dancing with the Stars” has a very different problem. In fact, it’s the exact opposite problem: Too much talent. Nicole Scherzinger shot herself in the foot the first week, committing the cardinal sin of DWTS: She danced well. And then she made it worse for herself: She kept dancing well.

Lee DeWyze makes me almost miss Danny Gokey. Almost.

No one wants to see someone succeed! They want people to humiliate themselves, or at least talk about how nervous and awkward they feel, then have a slow progression that ends in tears of gratitude and joy and some kind of platitude like “Thank you for giving me back my smile.” (Oh, sorry, was that a real statement from Erin “Why Not Us?” Andrews?)

For some reason people are calling Nicole a professional dancer. As if The Pussycat Dolls are the Solid Gold Dancers instead of a new version of The Spice Girls. (Mel B. aka Scary Spice was a Spice Girl. And she made it to #2 on DWTS Season 5 with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, so it’s not like he hasn’t danced with alleged “pros” before.)

It drives me crazy. Because not only are the Pussycat Dolls not exactly out there practicing the Foxtrot or Viennese Waltz on stage, focusing all the “advanced dancer” hate on Nicole ignores the real issue: OLYMPIANS ALWAYS WIN. Three Olympic gold medalists have won the mirror ball in the past nine seasons: Apolo Anton Ohno, Kristi Yamaguchi and Shawn Johnson.

Evan Lysacek is now in the finals. He is exactly like Kristi and Shawn in that he is INCREDIBLY BORING. Always giving the trained PR answers that are blandly positive and will offend no one. Even his partner said he can come off as “cold.” And the Dance Center guys mocked him last week by falling asleep. The judges went nuts over his vampire Paso Doble, but if you actually looked at his face in the dance, he kept defaulting to his blank expression.

Nicole is the best dancer. If she has any extra edge at all it’s that she’s dancing with Derek Hough, the best dancer and choreographer in the competition. If Derek’s sister, Julianne, returns to the show he’ll have some real competition out there.

Stop the neurotic, bickering fourth-graders!

I guess I’m really disgusted because this is Mya & Dmitry Chaplin all over again. Mya was penalized last season for being too good too soon, thereby not seeming to live up to the spirit of the competition (humiliating someone in front of millions until they are either voted off or get good enough to sob and win).

Mya & Dmitry were the most entertaining couple for the season but they lost to Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson. Because if there’s anyone out there who has no song and dance experience, it’s Mr. Showman Donny Osmond. Good call, America!

Stop the Olympians!

Seriously, vote for Nicole & Derek. They are the most exciting couple to watch. They are not boring Olympians. They do not whine and bicker every week about how they are the “underdogs” instead of focusing on, you know, dancing well. A talent show that rewards actual talent! What a refreshing concept that would be this year.

***

For a stupid amount of stuff about DWTS — from recaps to top 10 lists and costume hits and misses — visit DWTSShow.com. My Nicole & Derek bias comes out there, too, but not as much as here.

You slay me.

“Bewere.” Stop it! (Kidding. Please don’t stop it.)

If “True Blood” season 3 ends up the victim of MORE MORE MORE sequelitis (as I fear it will), fire the script writers and hire the copywriters who come up with these posters every week.

By the way, have you seen the first two “True Blood” season 3 trailers? Watch them here. As I wrote there, I am already planning to get re-obsessed with James Frain. Why not? He can be my summer project. Besides, I need a replacement for Alexander Skarsgard after this Kate Bosworth business. Not OK, man.

By the way part II, have you checked out this True Blood sweeps thing? I’m not sure I understand it, but there it is.

Russell never uncovers his head. That's what he should do next time, when he and Boston Rob have the season where they kick each other's arses. Go Rob!

By Gina Carbone
gina_carbone@comcast.net

Maybe Russell Hantz can go on “American Idol” or “Dancing with the Stars,” since the “flaw” in “Survivor” is that America doesn’t get to vote.

Hate to agree with Russell, but how DID she win twice?

Russell, there is NO WAY IN HELL I would’ve voted you to win “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.”

“Samoa,” maybe. Yes, actually, in hindsight I probably would’ve voted for you to win “Samoa.”

I give Russell credit, though. Even he said Parvati Shallow probably should’ve won this season.

(Read my live blog of the finale and my argument for why Parvati should’ve won Heroes vs. Villains.)

On the Reunion Show, Sandra Diaz-Twine was wearing a crown. That makes her “the queen” of Survivor. She said she is the best player for having played twice (she also won “Pearl Islands”) and won twice. I don’t agree.

Parvati said she’s played three times and lasted longer than anyone.

Russell said of Sandra, “she’s lippy and she knows it.” Social game, no. Physical game, “maybe the worst physical player to ever play the game.”

Sandra: “That’s actually a strategy.” (A sad one! As Jeff Probst noted, Sandra never won a challenge in either season. Even Courtney has won a challenge.)

Russell said Sandra’s strategy was to get rid of Russell and it didn’t work. There’s a flaw in the game. “If she can win twice, there is a flaw.”

Jeff finally made him stop.

Russell: “What needs to happen is America needs to have a percentage of the votes.”

The crowd went wild.

Sandra: “You still wouldn’t win if they had a percentage of the votes. The only people that like you are right there.” She points to Russell’s family.

Jeff said the show is clearly defined. It’s a group of people who come together and vote, etc. Maybe Russell would’ve won a different game.

Russell broke out a laminated copy of JT’s letter, saying this is how good he is. He got a winner to write him a letter and make the stupidest move in the game. JT made a move to take (and burn?) the letter. I just love that Russell kept it and got it laminated. He probably stares at it every night.

Sandra’s husband was back from Afghanistan and in the audience. He’s just back for two weeks and then returns overseas.

Jeff asked Parv if teaming up with Russell worked against her. She said yes, because they all hated Russell so much. They thought she was a coattail rider.

Parv, I love you! You should’ve won. She tied for second in the most individual challenges. Colby has the record with 7 wins.

Jeff asked about the hat. Russell said he didn’t know what happened until he saw Sandra burn it in the finale.

Russell said he gives credit where it’s due. “At the end of the day, Parvati, she probably should’ve won.”

WOW! I completely agree with him.

Jeff keeps trying to get Russell to calm down and take a deep breath.

Jeff asked Russell if he’s aware of the jury during the game. By yelling at Rupert, betraying Jerri — do you think about losing their votes?

“I don’t care about that fact,” Russell said.

Jeff asked Boston Rob if he had paired with Russell if it would’ve worked out. Rob said they could’ve worked well together. Rob said what Russell was just saying is he doesn’t play to win and that’s where he differs from Russell. Russell said Rob plays to win? “When have you won?” Rob said he’s never won, but he told Russell he’d gladly go back “and kick your ass.”

Jeff talked to Tyson and JT about their dumb moves. Jeff said there’s been a poll asking  people to vote on the dumbest move in the past 20 seasons. JT asked if there’s any money involved. Jeff joked that the winner of this poll has to give money BACK.

They created a tiki thing and JT won it for “the dumbest move in Survivor history” for giving the idol to Russell. Congrats!

Jeff talked about the season’s disappointments. James was a disappointment because of his injury, but also his attitude. James said he did have fun, it just didn’t show. Amanda defended him, as usual.

Rupert talked about his broken toes. Even he was surprised at lying, cheating and still being named a hero.

Colby was brought back because he embodies the qualities of a hero. (*Sigh* Yes, he does.) But things went wrong right away, from losing to Coach in the first episode to the end. Colby said he had more fun watching the show than being out there. He knew right away things were going to be different, physically. He said they were quarantined this time (?) In the past they could go explore and have adventures. You couple that with his bad challenges and it was a rough season. (So basically Colby just wanted an exotic vacation. Sorry, man. But that still doesn’t explain why you were more interested in “Treasure Island” than two half-naked girls wrestling.)

Amanda is a great player but she doesn’t have the killer instinct. She gets emotional and feels bad about voting people out. (Eye roll.)

Stephenie also represented the major competitor but she hurt her shoulder and never got up to speed. She was also one of the few people not friends with everyone there. She plugged her restaurant! Good for her.

Cirie said everyone has a perception of who and what you are and it’s hard to break that.

Jeff replayed the Tyson/Coach crying scene. Jeff found it “a very endearing moment.” He wanted Coach to talk about it, but keep it to a minimum because “you will tell a story.” Sure enough, Coach is a talker and goes on about wanting to change the perception of him from “Tocantins,” etc. Coach wants to be in Gryffindor! I still love Coach. Why didn’t Jeff ask about Coach + Jerri? Are they a couple now?

Boston Rob and Amber have given birth and there’s the baby, Lucia Rose. Cute!

Sprint Player of the Season came down to Rupert vs. Russell? Russell won $100,000. DAMN YOU, AMERICA! For picking both of them, but especially Russell.

Parvati, you are my player of the season.

Jeff said after three seasons it all came together for Jerri. She’s wearing too much makeup. The first time she played they hated her, she said, and this time they liked her too much to keep her around.

Jeff said Danielle was in it till the end, then had a breakdown during Tribal Council. She said she’s human and she has emotions. She proved at the end that she’s not a villain. Looking back it kills her because if she’d kept it together she’d be there in the end. “Russell, damn you,” she joked.

Courtney always seems to be having fun, Jeff said. She wanted to have fun and she did.

Randy never seemed to be having any fun. He said he didn’t.

Jeff asked Sugar if it’s still an enjoyable experience after three days. She said she didn’t like the rain and she had a lousy alliance.

Here's the Survivor winner prototype. I am not this guy. Are you?

Candice postponed her wedding to do this show. She got married May 1. (Sorry, man.)

Twice as many single people win as married. Average age 32. Oh my god, I should play this game! But I don’t look like their winner guy. Jeff: “If you know this guy, or if you are this guy, come onto Survivor ’cause you could win.”

For the 21st season they are going to Nicaragua, a land of impenetrable terrain, volcanoes and wildlife. Christopher Columbus discovered its shores 500 years ago, etc.

A brand new set of survivors and “something that may surprise them all.” This fall the adventure continues on “Survivor: Nicaragua.”

Sandra, Parvati and Russell will be on the Early Show tomorrow morning and that’s when Sandra will get her check for $1 million.

I miss this season already! But I do wish Jeff had asked the cast about whether being labaled a Hero or Villain was an asset/liability. And if not having seen Russell’s season helped or hurt him.

***

Catch up on all of my “Survivor” drivel in this handy archive.



The crazy-eyed, bandy-legged troll we know as The Evil Oompa Loompa is about to get served.

By Gina Carbone
opus619@gmail.com

Would the Super Bowl be as much fun to watch if you already knew the results? I suppose you’d have to think football was fun to watch to begin with, so you tell me.

This “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” finale, on the other hand, still feels like the Super Bowl of “Survivor” finales, even though I know who won (and I don’t much like it).

I’m excited. The show is about to start and I’m going to do the live blog thing. Please excuse my typos and stream of consciousness ramblings off topic. They’re both inevitable.

***

8 p.m.: Jeff Probst recap of the season and then recap of each player individually.

Colby was so cute back in Season 2. He’s still cute, just useless in general. No one likes a man who can’t last longer than 15 seconds. Parv and her Black Widow Alliance. Sandra with her sneakiness and attitude. Jerri looks exactly the same as in Season 2. That’s funny. The Black Widow and The Dragon Slayer. I am still rooting for their love. Russell is the king of chaos. If he can control how they feel he can control how they think? Nope. He makes deals with everyone and then breaks them — adding personal insults along the way.

8:07 p.m.: Recap is finally over.

Parv admired Sandra’s idol move from the last Tribal Council: “Russell, you have to admit it was a pretty good play.”

Russell said it was a bad play because she didn’t need to use it. He did the same thing! Parv called him on it, bless her.

Russell, as usual, was upset because Sandra didn’t tell him she had it. Like she should tell him about her idols? What exactly does she owe him? She called him out on it, too. That’s why I love this season. No one lets Russell just shoot his mouth off. He wants to micromanage the whole tribe, Sandra said, and she’s not the type you can micromanage.

Now Russell thinks Parv knew about Sandra’s idol. He — ha ha! — is upset because if she knew about it, that would be “sneaky.” Sneaky!

Parv told the camera the childish pouting makes Russell look ridiculous. True.

Jerri told Colby Parv is dangerous and they have to get rid of her? Is that who they were talking about? Parv over Sandra?

8:13 p.m.: Tree mail. Immunity challenge involves dishes. Same challenge as in China, Parv said.

Sandra during the immunity challenge. She was the first one out. Parvati won. Again.

Russell’s dream trio is himself, Jerri and Sandra. He thinks Sandra didn’t play at all and neither did Jerri, so they jury would have no choice but to vote for him.

Isn’t it funny to hear how he thinks?

If Colby wins immunity he wants to ditch Parv.

Another balancing/concentration challenge. Are they favoring Parv with these?

Adding plates and dishes to this balance thing.

Sandra is the first one out. Jerri out second. Russell out next. (Get rid of him!)

It came down to Colby vs. Parvati. There was a big gust of wind and Colby’s stuff was wobbling.

They kept adding more stuff to this crazy pile. I’m proud of Colby, but Parv excels at these challenges. And she has good luck. This is her third individual win, second in a row. The girl is good. That’s what I’m saying.

Parv just kicked Colby out of the game. And Russell can’t get rid of her! That’s my favorite part.

8:26 p.m.: (These commercials go on forever)

Parv said winning was a huge deal for her because it means she’s safe and she can keep the rest of her villains. (Note “Her” villains.)

Colby gathered the Villains and said he made his play to break them up before. It didn’t work. He tried to win the challenge. It didn’t work. He gave a “surrender speech” that almost made Jerri and Parv cry. He said it was his attempt at a sympathy vote. Jerri rubbed his arm. (Back off my man!)

But Colby told the camera he’s not a quitter. (Could’ve fooled us, the way you’ve played.) When the time was right he made one more attempt.

Colby made a good pitch, but he talked too much at Tribal Council.

Colby told Russell he should get rid of Sandra tonight and get rid of Parvati next time. Colby said Parv will be hard to beat. He said the best strategic move may be to keep Colby for now.

Funny how everyone is against Parv and totally discounts Sandra as the real winner.

Russell said he’ll make up his mind at Tribal Council.

8:30 p.m.: Tribal Council. Rupert never changes his clothes!

Colby said no one wants to sit next to Parvati in the finals. “Love you to death, Sandra, but everybody wants to sit next to you.”

D’oh! Did Colby just win Sandra a million dollars??

Sandra is cute and funny during Tribal and I think that’s why the jury loves and rewards her.

Jeff is probably even more sorry to see Colby go than I am. He *loves* Colby.

Plus, no one likes to be told how they should vote. They may vote for Sandra just as a “screw you” to people who said they should vote for Parv.

The tribe just spoke to my boyfriend. They dumped him. Jerri looked near tears.

Tomorrow is their final immunity challenge.

Colby’s parting words: “I know if I’d won that challenge today I’d have a shot at a million dollars. It’s disappointing especially when the challenges were something that I used to be good at. I guess I’m just an old (chuckles) dusty veteran. My third time in, I’m just not destined to win this game.”

But I love you, man! Pleeeease come back a fourth time. I love to watch you lose take your shirt off play Survivor.

8:40 p.m.: Ha! Walking back to camp, everyone is talking about how crazy Rupert looked. Like a serial killer who might’ve jumped out at them.

Parv said Colby’s words were a wake-up call. She didn’t know she was such a threat.

Final four. Interesting dynamic here, no? Guess the honeymoon is over between Russell and Parvati.

Russell and Jerri talked about how they have to get rid of Parvati because, if they don’t, she’ll have won three immunities in a row and definitely take the million.

Jerri said Parv wasn’t such a strategic player in this game because she was “tucked under” Russell’s wing.

What?! Did you watch the same show I did?

Another rites of passage thing where they pay tribute to fallen comrades.

We watch all the fallen again in post-elimination speeches. In order: Sugar, Stephenie, Randy, Cirie, Tom, Tyson, James, Boston Rob, Coach, Courtney, JT, Amanda, Candice, Danielle, Rupert, Colby.

(Tyson still loves himself. He is the “funny guy,” though.)

(Ha! Sandra said Boston Rob told her they would get along because Italians and Puerto Ricans are both loud and ignorant. She died laughing. I love Boston Rob. He said the survivors getting rid of him was the first smart thing they’ve done in 20 seasons.)

(Coach! I love how he goes on about himself.)

(JT said Russell used the idol to vote him out. But it was really Parv who did that. Give her credit.)

(Amanda is another one who said she’s not destined to win this game. Why is everyone so defeatist? She regrets giving Danielle the idol clue, and she should. Her conscience — Colby! — got the best of her.)

(Rupert still thinks he’s a Hero.)

(Colby—  Jerri’s favorite cowboy! Mine, too. Even Russell said Colby was the real, true hero of the game. For once, I agree with Oompa.)

8:58 p.m.: The final immunity challenge. Survivor maze. They’ll all be blindfolded. This looks complicated.

I'd probably get lost too, Sandra.

Russell got his first necklace first. Sandra was at the back.

Sandra tried to take Parv’s necklace off her neck! Funny. I love Sandra’s commentary!

Russell got his second necklace first, too. Then Parv. Then Jerri. Sandra way in the back. She’s funny. She sucks so bad at challenges and, in the end, that didn’t matter at all.

Jerri ended up in the lead with the third necklace first. Then Parv. Then Russell. They had one necklace left.

Ha! Parv vs. Russell for the end. They kept running into each other, on purpose on Russell’s part, I think. Then Jerri joined in.

Russell walked right by the immunity necklace. He found it, though. He got it in the end over Parv and Jerri, within inches.

Russell won the second immunity challenge. Not that it sounded like he needed it. Everyone wants to sit next to Russell in the end because they think they can beat him.

Jeff: “It doesn’t get any closer than that.”

And then there’s Sandra, who got nowhere near.

Jeff said that was one of the most dramatic finishes ever. Jeff is always ranking things in the Survivor universe.

Russell waited for Jeff to put the necklace on him.

Parv told the camera she has to talk to Russell and make sure she’s still “his girl.”

9:10 p.m.: Back at camp, Jerri said the fact that Russell won immunity means Parvati will be going home. She won’t cry. Why does everyone hate Parv?

Russell said no matter what, he’s taking Sandra. He thinks she can’t beat him, maybe in part because she’s already won — Pearl Islands. Sandra said she doesn’t expect to win, she’ll take the $100,000.

Russell thinks Sandra will maybe get Courtney’s vote and that’s it.

Parv and Russell went for a walk. Parv said if Sandra goes with them she instantly gets Amanda, Candice and Courtney.

Russell said he doesn’t think so. Russell said he’d rather have Jerri on the jury because he’d get Jerri’s vote.

Russell said Parv doesn’t think she can beat Sandra or Russell.

Russell told Parv his best strategic move is to take Sandra and Jerri. Parv said Sandra would win.

Russell told the camera if he sends Jerri home he’ll get her vote. If he sends Parv home he may not get her vote. He’s “suffered way too much in this game” to lose now. “I have to win.”

9:15 p.m.: Tribal Council.

Sandra said her argument to Russell was “take me because I can’t win.” Russell tried to backpedal and said Sandra could easily potentially win.

Russell had better explain this well.

I think the jury really just doesn’t like to hear how good Parvati is and how many friends she has. Everyone thinks Parv will win. I say she SHOULD win, but no one likes the easy win.

Parv vs. Russell again. He thinks he’s been protecting Parv and Parv said “we’ve been protecting each other.” Russell, she is not Natalie White. She did not ride your coattails or anything close to that. In fact, Parv saved Jerri and Sandra (or at least Jerri) with her double idol move. You’d think they’d respect her for that instead of dissing her.

How is it Russell’s best shot at winning the game to get rid of Jerri? Because she’ll vote for him over Parv? Would she even do that? I doubt it.

1. Parvati

2. Jerri

3. Jerri

4. Jerri

Jerri hugged Russell goodbye. “I can’t wait to hear this story later.” Seriously. Bad move, man.

Jerri told the camera she was so close to the end and she expected to go. She told the camera she was leaning toward voting for Russell in the end. He’s played an amazing game, she said. He’s a reactionary but his decisions usually make sense. “Except for tonight.”

9:26: Last night on Yin Yang. They talk about how ready they are to go home, etc. Sandra is focused on her kids and her hubby in Afghanistan.

Sandra went to bed, leaving Russell and Parv alone. “There’s no need to babysit you anymore.”

How proud must her husband be, knowing while he’s out serving the country she’s earning even more money.

Sandra: “This is how I hustle, this is how I make my money. I come and play Survivor. That’s what I know how to do, that’s what I’m best at. Coming out here, getting my money, going home. Simple as that.”

And it really IS that simple with her! She’s played twice and won twice. Two million dollars for two and a half months work. Amazing.

Russell congratulated himself to the camera, talking about how he’s done it twice. He believes he has a good shot of winning this.

On Samoa he brought two weak players he thought he could beat, but he didn’t win. Russell said this time he’s bringing people that others don’t like.

Parv has been playing Survivor for 114 days. Russell asked Parv who she would’ve voted for on the jury. She said Sandra. Russell said he would’ve voted for her.

Sandra deserves a million dollars just for this. But Parvati should still be declared sole survivor.

Sandra and Parv laughed and joked. Sandra threw Russell’s hat into the fire. “That’s how much game I got.”

LOVE IT!

“I should burn his sneakers.”

She talked about his bald head and how he doesn’t want anyone to see it. It’s payback. “I don’t care,” Sandra said.

HA! It is payback for the burnt socks and hidden machete and everything else.

The title of sole survivor is all Russell wants, so that’s what Sandra is going to fight to deny him.

Wow, this is a good preview for the finale — with Sandra talking more than any other time this season. She said she never got to hide behind the immunity necklace (except for when she wasted it last week), she had to hustle to be there. (Except she skated through on being a weak non-threat.)

9:32 p.m.: Final Tribal Council

Sandra talked about her alliance of one. She’s good at keeping it simple and being likable. I can understand voting for her after her short, simple speech but if you take the game as a whole she should not win. True, she is here alone and that fits with the idea of a “sole survivor,” but she did not fight to get here. She didn’t have to. Don’t reward her for being a non-threat. All you’re doing is showing your bitterness at better players, like Parvati. (Not so much Russell. He was too sloppy, burning bridges as he went.)

Russell apologized for offending anyone along the way, but he did nothing wrong and should win.

Parv said she didn’t realize the threat she would be perceived as, so she needed a defense. That’s where Russell came in. He was the dragon and instead of slaying him she kept him as a pet. (Cut to Coach looking disgusted. No one talks about dragon slaying but me!)

I think the jury hates self-serving speeches, but when you have played the best game, what else are you supposed to say? They shouldn’t reward Sandra just for having shown up.

9:40 p.m.: Jury talks to the contenders

I'm so PISSED about Candice's bulls*t.

Colby — Russell, did you really say there was no luck involved in getting here? Colby said he was just double checking because he’s delusional if he thinks he can win without luck. He asked Parv what besides challenges did she do. She said she was the target from day one, so she had to hustle harder than anyone. She brought up her double idol play. He didn’t talk to Sandra?

Coach — The final three villains. Parvati, the charmer and manipulator. Russell the schemer and also the liar. And Sandra the coattail rider. Coach said Russell can be a little man in stature and word. The lesson he should’ve left was “only the penitent man shall pass.” (Someone just watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!) Coach said he wishes he could be there instead of Sandra. Coach thought Parv would be a weak player in challenges. She was a warrior in challenges. The irony was the day he trusted her was the day she turned on him. What was that about being a Christian man and taking his responsibility serious in a game he loves? Talk about delusional.

Amanda – She asked Sandra how her strategy was better than Russell or Parvati. She talked about how she wishes her strategy had been better because she kept trying to get rid of Russell and it didn’t happen. (Russell: So did that strategy work for you?) Sandra said she could never get Heroes on her side.

Courtney — She’s proud of her villainesses. She said Sandra is loyal as hell and that’s often overlooked. How was she loyal to the end? She didn’t even have an alliance to back.

JT – He talked to “buddy” Russell first. Russell said he expects everyone on the jury to respect his game play because they’ve all played the game. JT asked how Parv thought she did. Parv said, again, that she was the threat from day one. She’s right that no one thought about getting rid of Sandra and Sandra only gave 50 percent. Sandra said she gave 100 percent to challenges but she’s not a physical person. She wishes she knew JT was making his play on the idol to Russell ’cause she would’ve stopped him.  JT said he’s not sour about his fate, he made his bed and he’ll lay in it.

Danielle — What an ass. She said there’s been a lack of skill in jury management. Would you change anything, she asked. Russell said he’s not going to tell her what she wants to hear. She said Russell’s not going to get any votes.

Jerri – Jerri said she is 100 percent undecided in who to vote for. She asked Russell what happened to the plan to get rid of Parvati after he won immunity. Russell said Jerri never ticked anyone off and he thought he would lose to her. Parv said that’s not true. Russell told her he knew he’d get Jerri’s jury vote. Jerri told Sandra that Sandra is so proud of being loyal and straightforward, but Jerri was blindsided.

Candice — Russell told “dirty lies” he didn’t need to tell. She said Parv played the game under Russell’s thumb. Like a spouse in an abusive relationship and she wanted Parv to get out from under his influence. “I like you, but I can’t support that.” Whaaaaat? It’s about how you treat people and that’s what she’s basing her vote on. “It’s not just what you stand for, it’s what you fall for, too.”

SO DON’T FALL FOR THAT BULLSH*T. Candice fell for Russell’s lines like the wife in an abusive relationship. She treated her fellow Heroes like crap and was disloyal to them. Candice made her own bed. Parvati was not in an abusive relationship. Russell gave her idols! She used him and it worked well for her. Are you crazy?

Rupert – Goes on about Russell taking “the easy way out” for being lying and deceiving. Listening to Sandra made him feel worse about his game play. He wishes he had listened to her more. He thanked her, from all the Heroes (eye roll), for trying to get them to get rid of Russell. Parv was a very strong player but she aligned herself with a “terrible” person. Rupert said Parv and Sandra deserved the vote. “You fought to be sitting there,” he told Parv.

9:58 p.m.: Time to vote

Jerri: Parvati. She said she was walking up there saying “Parvati/Sandra? Parvati/Sandra.” She ended up writing Parvati.

Candice: Sandra. She spouted some bulls*t about how the line between hero and villain was blurred but Sandra stayed true to herself, etc.

Courtney: Sandra

Coach: Parvati. He said he was wrong about her. She’s a warrior. “King Arthur’s journey has officially ended.” (?)

Rupert: Sandra. “I’m honored that I get to write your name down again and give you a million dollars. Love you.” (Just as Sandra predicted!)

Amanda: Mystery!

10:01 p.m. Jeff reads the 9 votes

Russell knows he's beat. Parv, I still think you should've won.

We’re live!

Russell looks like he’s in a slightly better mood this time. Remember how grumpy he was in Samoa? But he must know the outcome. If I do, he must.

1. Parvati

2. Sandra

3. Parvati

4. Sandra

5. Parvati

6. Sandra

7. Sandra

8. Sandra

The winner of “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”: Sandra

Read my Reunion Show recap and other “Survivor” stories in this nifty archive.

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